So as many of you know I have a like memory keeping problem. LIke not that I forget thing but that I cannot get rid of anything because it all has memories to me. In particular pictures. I have always had a hard time throwing out pictures, even like before digital when there were bad ones that didn't come out and were basiclaly all just black, I still kept them.

ANywho , the problem really comes to a head when it comes to other people's pictures. I don't think pictures should be thrown out and so I have collected other people's (ok my friends, not just complete strangers mostly) photos over the years that they no longer wanted. Also senior year of highschool I made a video slideshow for my friends and so at the time got many copies of all their photos. This leads to me having a massive amount of photos. I am currently in the process of trying to organize them into albums and what not and then I want to print out photos that i have on the computer from the last few years and make albums for those.

I still havne't even really gotten to the problem but here is part of it. Collecting all these photos over the years and now have literally prolly hudnreds of photos of events I wasn't at or people I don't know. I have like 200 pictures of (e:beast) and her date Mike Maloney from junior and senior prom cuz like i took some and then i have all of teres's and other peoples. Then i also have a buttload of pictures from (e:mk)'s college years and like her ex boyfriends formal dances. I also have Diana's scrapbook that she made about the football player she was stalking/in love with and possibly 1,000 pics of Cara O'COnnor who was somoene MK was friends with in elementary school> I started this addiction/collection long ago when I got an album of photos from my friend Andrea from like her softball team and sleepovers where I knew some of the people bu tthey weren't mostly things I was at but I just couldn't handle her throwing it out.

So in trying to organize it, I am finally really starting to part with some of it. It really got oeverwhelming. Family dinners with families I don't know...gone. Vacations I didn't go on...mostly gone. Ex Boyfriends of my friends...mostly gone. Ok not mostly I still kept a lot of crap, but for instance if I had 25 pictures of Teres and some guy she went on one date with, i narrowed it down to 2 or 3. THough I did keep the whole scrapbook diana cuz really that is something that needs to be taken as a whole. I tried to organize all the photos in time order in an album but highschool was ten years ago and not even knowing what some of the events were made it extra hard so I just threw them all in a book, with the exception of a separate book for senior year that is super organzied and decorated and proly up there with one of the gayest things i've ever done..and that is quite a list!

Anywho, the point is, if you are getting rid of photos , just give them to me instead....WAIT NO THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT I MEANT THROW THEM OUT I DON"T NEED MORE RANDOM PHOTOS (but p.s secretly i want more rnadom photos! NO I DON"T) but i suppose if you just like dropped them off at my door I would have to take them right?

(e:libertad) gave me The Haunting of Hill House by SHirley Jackson for my b-day and i really like it. He got it for me because I loved the Lottery from her. Anywho this passage in it really was great to me, i really love it, and made me think this is exactly how i feel. This is exactly why I will always use a small fork, sure I can use a big fork but i will always choose a small fork no matter what people say about it....
Here is the passage (some background Eleanor is a 30 year old woman on her way to Hill House after spending the last 11 years taking care of her mother and sister)

and the little girl's mother said calmly, "she wants her cup of stars"
Eleanor looked up, surprised; the little girl was sliding back in her chair, sullenly refusing her milk, while her father frowned and her brother giggled and her mother said calmly "she wants her cup of starts"
Indeed yes, Elanor thought; indeed, so do I; a cup of stars of course.
"her little cup" the mother was explaining, smiling apologetically at the waitress, who was thunderstruck at the thought that the mill's good country milk was not rich enough for the little girl, "it has stars in the bottom and she always drinks her milk from it at home. She call it her cup of starts because she can see the stars while she drinks her milk" The waitress nodded, unconvinced, and the mother told the little girl, "you'll have your milk from your cup of starts tonight when we get home. But just for now, just to be a very good little girl, will you take a little milk from this glass?"
Don't do it, Eleanor told the little girl; insist on our cup of stars; once they have trapped yo into being like everyone else you will never see your cup of stars again; don't do it; and the little girl glance at her, and smiled a little subtle, dimpling , wholly comprehending smile, and shook her head stubbornly at the glass. Brave girl , Eleanor thought; wise, brave girl

I love it!

So while (e:libertad) was at work I decided to go for a walk. I love walks on fall days like these. It really is my favorite time of year I think. ANywho, I usually walk around like Elmwood or something but decided to head towards downtown today instead cuz I never really walk around downtown, well i mean I have walked around many parts of downtown many times but id on't know not super recently and not just for the sake of walking around. SO i headed down Delaware and walked to city hall and I never read all the placards and stuff by the Mckinley monument (oddly enough i was wearing a shirt that has the lion that is on the side of that building on delaware that is based on the lions there). ANywho there was few wedidngs of people taking pics at city hall and that was neat to see.

OH i almost forgot while walking by the Statler some people came up to me and asked for directions to the TOwn Ballroom AND I WAS ACTUALLY ABLE TO PROVIDE THEM! As many of you konw I am terrible with directions , like i can get around but cannot explain it to others. OK really from Statler to TOwn Ballroom is really simple but it was still something.

ANywho then after City Hall i walked down court and then down main street towards downtown more and then around and on washington and stuff and just looked around. It is neat seeing like all the old like painted on names on buildings , like how many different things these buildings have been and many them sadly are now nothing. That leads me to the next thing, DOWNTOWN IS DEAD on the weekends. I know this, but it always shocks me a little. EVen the Tim Hortons in the LIberty BUilding is closed on Saturdays, when your downtown can't support 1 Tim HOrtons that is really sad, though to be honest the Dunkin DOnuts on CHippewa and Main Street was open so I guess there was that but still it seemed sad.

So then I was walking down Main Street back to Dave's and my favorite place in buffalo for some odd reason has always been the block of main street between Goodell and Tupperi think . SO i dawdled around there and then walked over to the CYclorama building which I have also always loved and took a picture of it to put in my phone. Then I sat on a rather comfy bench on the corner of Main and Goodell and talked to (e:mk) for a while about the sabres game she was attending tonight and what not. So then I took a peak into St.Louis church which is right there and that is where (e:Mk) is having her wedding and it was really pretty. Mass was going on so I couldn't really walk aroudn it but it looked really pretty.

Then I continued on my way down Main Street and got to the Scientologist Headquarter Building where some lady looked like she was getting brainwashed to join so I stood outside the windown and tried to mouth to her "DONT DO IT" but she looked at me like i was crazy and I"m just lady you the crazy one joining that freakin Tom Cruise cult! SO i walked on before they came out and murdered me to cleanse themselves of their alien toxins or whatever crazy thing they are doing at the moment. I have always wanted to go in and really see what it is like but i am so gullible and would definitely be pulled in for sure without a doubt!

So i continued on my walk down Main Street to Allen , then down to Elmwood and back up west ferry to Dave's apartment. Oh i forgot while walking down Main STreet I saw the people I gave the directions too again and they said they had found the Town Ballroom so I felt succesful!

Oh and I also forgot, like i was thiking while walking by the Hyatt like wow if you are a visitor to the B-lo and you walk out of that hotel onto Main Street it is so deserted and not welcoming and from the looks of things you prolly may as well be in Kabul! They should prolly work on that.

ALl in all it was an awesome walk and I am glad I did it and would liek to do it again. I am sure noone has read this far cuz this is like my journals that ramble on of old but maybe a little shorter!!

So i haven't bought much recently or ever really from ITUnes, but when i do it is always just like the top song of the moment, but I had a 15 dollar gift card so I decided to browse around and here is what I came up with and bought:

Jai Ho from Slumdog MIllionaire

Club Can't Handle Me by Flo Rida

Don't Stop Believing and Bust Your Windows from Glee

Hey Jude from Across the Universe

Take It Off Kei$ha

Mad World from Donnie Darko

Party In the USA by Miley Cyrus

Eye of the Tiger

I dreamed a dream by susan boyle

Million DOllar Bill by Whitney Houston

We No Speak Americano by Yolanda be Cool

Sorta a mix but really all movie or current hit related I suppose. I still have 5 dollars think i'll save it for now.

This is something that if Paul heard it I thought he would think I would say it (if that makes sense) like when i heard it it was something that not i thought oh that is me per se but oh paul would think that was me....

on Will and Grace , Karen (who is hilar) said "you know what else is incredibly sad. poor people with big dreams. Actually that's not so much sad as it is incredibly funny"

So we had to get a box in order to keep the Oxygen and Travel channel and like 2 other ones. It is free and everything but for Time Warner for some reason you needed it for those two channels. Well when we hooked it up all of a sudden we had like 400 channels and I was in heaven. Though I did find I still almost watched the same shows on the reg 60 or so channels we get but I think in time I would have watched more. Also like with so many channels like nothing seems good enough cuz I expect like the best thing ever to be on all the time cuz there are so many options.

Anywho that isn't the point, so it obviously was some type of mistake I thought and I figured they'd catch it evntually but I would enjoy it while I can. We had HBO for like 10 years by accident, it was super weird and like still on a channel that was not HBO for the people who actually had HBO, anywho I got home from work today and all the channels were taen away. We are back down to like 70. : ( . I"m not sure if like maybe they just give you 5 free days or something or if it was amistake but either way it is over and I miss it already!

If you are out and about tonight we will be at Cathode for big a** drink night tonihgt around 930 to celebrate my bday, stop by and have a mason jar full of liquor!

So my last journal entry included info about someone who I cannot stand and I used their first and last name. It turns out it became liek the fifth thing that pops up if you google him and so I decided to take it down cuz really I am not that big a jerk you don't want people to look u up and find out you dropped trou on stage for a tranny. But really why should I care? All i did was write what he did. I didn't make anything up. Anyone there could have seen it. I just hate that people like him who just think they can use anyone, let me tell you that while being completely innappropriate and doing something really aggravating , said something to the efffect of I can do whatever I want to whoever i want, and you can't stop me. I can buy people like you. Like he is so freakin arrogant. And now I am suppoesd to feel bad that is misdeeds are googleable? Well i did take it down cuz I obvioulsy do feel bad but why should people like him get to win? I can only compete on the internet so why shouldn't I use what I can. If he wants to be a jerk everytime purposely just to aggravate and show that he can get away with whatever he wants then why shouldn't I post about it. Well for now I took out his last name, but I don't know I feel that is the right decision. It really is my only defense. Like (e:libertad) wants to talk to him about it and tel lhim that he was innapropriate but really I think he will just be like "haha what a stupid idiot little boyfriend you have letting me bother him like that, he is so pathetic. I am so great and he is so insignificant". really the public trou dropping for trannies is all i got.

Holy heck! so it has been a while since i have written. BUt last night I went out with (e:libertad), (e:paul) and (e:terry) and we went to Illusions. A newer dance club here in Buffalo NY. I think that place is fun, probably my favorite dancy place in Buffalo and nice but there was one particular Aubrey there that I cannot stand. HE is so full of himself and such a prick but at least it was kinda hilarious when he got on stage dropped trou and bent over for a tranny who seemed not interested in the least. Aubrey begging for some tranny loving really made him a little less hateable. Anywho that is not really the point of the story but it sorta plays into it. So I realized this morning that my car got keyed on the driver side door kinda badly and someone put gum in my locks. Luckily I can use the power locks. but the keying is pretty bad. It is really bothering me a lot.

First it is like was this someone doing it to me in particular and then who was it? Like I don't really have any enemies or people that hate me, especially ones that would know where I was last night. I am not 100% sure if it happened at Illussions or on west ferry but i'm pretty sure it was in the parking lot at Illusions cuz it also looked like a drink was spilled on my car!

It is super bothering me trying to figure out who would have done it. I guess it could be totally random and prolly is but it seems so vicious like to also put gum in the locks. It seemed personal. Maybe someone thought it was someone elses car? I cannot unrelate it in my mind from the pretentious prick Aubrey who was there who I cannot stand, who thinks he can do whatever he wants. It def was not him cuz he really could care less and wouldn't know my car anyway but in my head I cannot separate the two events and it is just making me angrier!

BUt really who would key a car just randomly? That is so mean and rude. Like it is gonna be expensive to fix prolly and that just sucks. Just randomly for no reason people go around keying cars? that seems so wrong but I think I prefer that to the idea that it is someone out to get me! whO COULD it be? I'm not saying everyone loves me but I think there are very few people out there who would want to harm my car. This is really driving me insane and ruining my whole weekend!

Happy Birthday Davey!!!

A couple of friends wanted to wish you a happy bday also.










HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVEY!!