📅 September 2014

So prolly anyone who knows me knows that once I hate a person it is pretty much for life. Sometimes I will decide something someone does bothers me to an extent that is really extreme and an overreaction but it doesn't really matter and it is pretty much how I will feel about them for the rest of my life. I know it's not my best quality but its definitely there. THere are a few exceptions and really it tends to last more on people I don't really have to deal with much if ever again.

Anywho, in my canisius orientation for college back in 2001 there was this kid that I just could not stand. I cannot remember why but I am pretty sure it was something to do with him thinking he was so great and so much better than anyone else. I am pretty sure we only interacted for around ten minutes but sometimes that is just enough for me to make an opinion for life. Maybe @mk remembers..she is the only person who might remember. Anywho, for whatever reason, which was probably legit at the time I have really pretty much hated this person for the next ten to fifteen years. Mind you I never saw them really , sometimes around town and in my head they kept justifying my dislike of them even though I actually had no interaction wiht them or any reason to really feel that way. As I"ve said before, it's not my best quality.

WEll anywho, maybe like a year or so ago I realized this person is now a drag queen that I have seen perform and frankly I enjoy their performances but couldn't admit it because my inner dislike was so strong.

AND THEN WEPA happened. Last night this was the performance. I never heard this song before but something about the song and the performance made me realize , maybe it is time to let the hatred (that I can't even remember why it started) go. I'd like to think maybe I"m maturing ...or maybe Gloria Estefan is just that damn amazing.

The funny part is letting go of the hatred really will change my life in no way. We have no similar circles or anywhere where we would interact but somehow it still feels good to let it go. Now thinking about it I hope they never see this journal because frankly I can admit I look a little crazy that i have thought about this so much over a ten minute interaction almost 15 years ago.

Here is Gloria's glorious song:

I'm going Friday to visit my friend Maureen who lives in Boston. We have been friends since sixth grade when we played the clarinet together. We have been the best of friends ever since. It was really amazing how quickly we just got along and really understood each other. We are very different but somehow it just worked. She was also my first true love and for obvious reasons that never worked out but for years I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her. She always understood my quirks and all my oddities.

She went away to college and hasn't lived in Buffalo for any significant period since but we have never lost touch and have always stayed close. Though we don't talk on the phone all the time or see each other often, no matter what I ever need , I always know she is just a phone calla way. And when she comes back or when I go to visit her in Boston , things just fall right back in place like they never changed.

We can spend hours just chatting about everything and anything. I can tell her anything and she always has wise words or just is able to help me get my mind off whatever is going wrong. Whenver I did something to mess up my life in some way as we all know I am apt to do every couple of years she is there to not let me off scott free, she lets me know I was wrong but she is there to let me know everything would be ok and things would always turn out all right.

Over the years, I have felt like it was unfair what a good friend she has always been to me and I don't know I can ever be the same to her. I am just not that person. SHe is the one that knows what to do , how to handle any situation, lights up any room and just makes everyone feel better. I have many amazing friends but I don't think there is anyone else who I turn to faster when I need someone to listen and give me advice...or go to the Taste of Buffalo with..we really are the best Taste of Buffalo partners. We have lots of rules but really it makes it the best experience.

I cannot wait to see her this weekend!

We also take really good pictures together and that is important in itself haha. Here are a few from facebook :

so sad..

last weekend we went to fantasee islands going away party at the underground. it was cray cray. like a million drag queens performed. I actually started crying after she did a little speech and lip synched to one moment in time. you know I am a sucker for any kind of of memories even if theu aren't mine.