So I just did something that could either make my life infinitely worse and more difficult or infinitely better or I guess it could change nothing. We will see what happens. It is private so no details here but I am super nervous about it right now. It really could break me if it goes horribly wrong....but I felt I had to do it or else things would just continually spiral downward in the situation. We'll see how it turns out.....wish me luck...

For some reason for the last few days I just can't get enough pop from cans. I never drink pop out of cans, i rarely drink pop outside of restaurants/bars but lately i just want pop out of cans like whoa. I am unsatiable. Maybe it is the taste of future alzheimers from the aluminum that whets my appetite and addicts me but i seriously love it. Oh and of course using a straw to drink it! OOOH IT IS DELISH!!

So when I walked to the downtown library as mentioned in my previous post I took out 2 books and 2 movies. One movie was for my mom and the other was Sunset Blvd which I always wanted to see. I also took out 2 books. One called Let it Be True which is a novel about soicalites in texas who have no money but cuz they gave it all to charity and are scheming to get it back and the other is a sociology book about changing towns. Anywho while reading the novel first, i hate that I don't own it. I don't know why, its not like it is the best book ever or something I would read again but for some reason I just really like owning a book I am reading. I almost never go back and read a book again except a fwe that I really love but for some reason I just love owning a book and knowing I have to return it makes me like it a little less. Its strange and I don't know why that is but it most definitely is how i feel,.

SO there is this movie they only have at the downtown library that my mom wanted and i had nothing to do today so I decided to walk to the downtown library. I wasn't exactly sure how far it is cuz i am really bad at like estimating things like that. So i walked down franklin to virginia to main to the library. OMG downtown is deserted on the weekends. I guess I knew that but it is really shocking. THere are soooo few people anywhere. A couple homeless people and some people walking around but really very few ppeople. There was the tourist couple who I thnk was staying at the Hyatt and they were asking one of the police what to do cuz everything looked so deserted. I can't imagine walking out of my hotel to see nothing. I know there are tons of things to do around downtown and stuff if they put their time in and looked but it must seem so weird to be in a city that you may or may not know what it is like but from appearances at first seems like a somewhat big city and then walk out of your hotle to complete isolation and abandoness. ANywho, so i walked to the library, signed up for a new card cuz I haven't had one in years and perused the library for a whle. I got some books and i rented SUnset Blvd cuz I always wanted to see that. On they way back i stopped at the rite aid on main street to get some water cuz it was a scorcher out there today. WHile i was down there, i was trying to think of other things to do that i could walk to but there really is not much right there. I could have went to the main place mall i siupposed but that is really a glorified card shop and food court.

I know there is lots of architecture and stuff liek that to see downtown but i've done that all before. For someone just looking to spend a day like shopping or people watching or even really having a bite to eat there is really not much at all.

The walk back was much warmer for some reason, i could not wait fo rit to be over. Mostly cuz i stupidly wore by 2 dollar old navy flip flops which are not super comfortable ,espeically on long hot walks. I just looked it up on mapquest and is is like 1.5 miles, so thats 3 miles which for me is a lot of walking. more than i have done in a while!

ALl in all it was actually really fun though and i am glad i decided to do that!

Yeah, I'm pretty much terrified of everything i am learning! Staying in a big empty house makes me realize just how scared I am. This lead me to go out to a bar alone the other night. I was in the mansh, a little scared and sick of being locked in a room so I decided to take a walk over to Fugazi by myself cuz noone was going out. As you all know, I am terribly awkward in every social situation when I don't know people so i walked in sat down ordered a drink and looked down awkwardly the whole time. That is until a crazy older drunk man told me he thinks I am a towel headed terrorist. So then i was gonna leave but he was leaving so I couldn't leave at the same time so i stayed and then i started talking to the other people a little more and so that was good. I was pretty proud of myself really cuz I am generally very dependent on other people and don't deal well alone. Then went off to Cole's to meet some peeps for ladies night and kept in classy by doing things such as saying "why is this pregnant lady buying us all these drinks" ...well it turns out she was our waitress...and not pregnant

So work was really slow today and so me and rachelle were reading through the last issue of National Enquirer (or was it Examiner, basically the same either way) and we realized they have personals! they are the best personals ever. One lady who described herself as former model and actress ended her ad with the line Slightly Disabled is ok with me! It seems like a weird thing to put in an ad. LIke it is a fine thing to be fine with but do you put that in your ad and then do people have to ask you if there disability is slight enough for you. A lot were from convicts one that opened with Inmate but innocent. And then there was the one that was an inmate and said Beware: i love to hug and snuggle. They were hilar! But the best part of it all was the prices people pay for these things. The one that was ok with slightly disabled, i counted the words and the nubmer of heart graphics and it comes in at a whopping 123 dollars an issue (THATS EVERY WEEK), it seems like you could spend your money like 500 a month on a better way of finding someon than the national enquirer!

Watermelon...i love it ... a lot.... that is all

So this weekend I got to go to Endicott to go to two days of (e:libertad)'s famly reunions. I was very nervous and overwhelmed getting ready to meet about 80 million people I don't know. Those who know me know i freak out when meeting new people especially full extended familes of them. So we got up early on saturday morning to meet his mom and niece in Rochester at 930 for the drive to the first reunion. When we get there, his niece had decorated a barf bag for me from the plane for the long car ride which was awesome. She is actually quite an impressive teenager in many ways. She deals with everything life throws at her very well and it really impresses me. Anywho, so we went to Coleville Park I believe it was called and on the way his mom gave me the scoop on all the people i would be meeting , even dave was meeting many of them for the first time. The park was really pretty and there was tons of yummo food and i met everyone and everyone was relaly nice. It really was not nearly as scary as I thought it would be> Everyone was very welcoming and friendly. The lady who put it all together did a great job getting eveyrone together and getting everythig for it.

We left there around six and went to his aunts house for a bonfire which was nice cuz it was a little more chill and just his direct aunts and cousins , not a million extended family members. That was fun, it seems like a lot of the family lives all in the same neighborhood, even the same block which would be a little overwhelming for me. I guess that is how my dad grew up though where like the whole neighboorhood was his extedned family and eveyrone always got together for everything. AT the bonfire they made me go around and name everyone WHICH I PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS. I am really good at remembering names. I think i am actually gonna write down the fmaily tree tonight while i remember it in case i am ever quized again in the futrue.

So then that night we stayed at his cousin kyle's apartment which was relaly nice. We were too poooped to go out so we watched 40 year old virgin and went to bed. It was realy nice of him to let us stay at his appt. It is nice and i guess he got an awesome deal on it which was cool.

So then today was dave's grandmas' family reunion (yesterday was his grandpas). So it was a lot smaller and now at this point I knew like half the poeple there from the day before. it was at his mom's cousins house and it was a relaly cool old house that she has put a lot of work into. it looks relaly good and her plans for the future for it sound relaly neat. The basement you can see the foundation and it is just all these like rocks stacked together with like trees in between. It is really cool to see. I guess one day poeple who had owned the house years before drove by and stopped and told them about the house and gave them all tese pictures of how it was changed over the years.

OOOH i forgot in the morning before the reunion me and dave and his mom hung out with his grandparents at their house. It was relaly nice, i love toalking to grandparents, i miss having grandparents sooooo much!! I really do. His grandpa was so cute telling me all about his medicines and stuff cuz i work in a pharmacy and like insisted we eat because it would be a whle til lunhc and brought us out like a huge bowl of cashews each and then wehen we wlaked away put yogurts on our seat and insited we eat them. His grandma told us all about this crazy crime going on in town where this rich guy supposedly killed his wife the day before the divorce but there is no body and no crime scene and no weapon but he got convicted but now six years later a man came out with a new memory that he saw the wife slater and so he couldn't have killed him but someone else claism they saw this new man being given bags of money. So i guess anywya a new trial is going on now... can't wait to see what happens

OHHHH and i had for the first time and can't wiat to make/have again grandma kethcums chip dip which is like french dressing and cream cheese mixed together maybe, anywho YUMMO! All in all a lot of driving time but an awesome weekend...

...and later i have to write about how i forget there are any cities between here and nyc and that everyone in the middle of new york does not know about buffalo and consider it there big city.

I love Kathy Griffin a lot of the time. part of it might be that she reminds me of all the best parts of my friend diana but she is really hilar! I love this clip ...here she is...i also LOOOOVE when she does a thing about Anna Nicole Smith on Hollywood Squares, Whitney Houston, and an Oprah/Barbara Streisand encounter. Anywho this clip has special meaning to me , cuz GD was a big part of growing up right paul? We always were only minutes away from a GD! I planned on writing about the party boat bachelorette party but i can't get the video of the crazy older lady and amanda dancing from my phone to my blog so that will be later.

Me and my (e:mom) went to see Julia and Julie tonight. yeah that's right , its not out yet but we had exclusive free preview passes she got at Channel 4! It was really good. It is a true story, well 2 truish stories. One is the story of Julia Child and the other is the story of Julie who is like a disgruntled feels like a waste of life 30 year old who decided to start a blog and blog about cooking through the whole Julia Child cookbook in one year. It seriously was way better than that description may seem. Meryll Streep was amazing as Julia Child and Amy Adams I always love. And the supporting cast was good too. The whole thing was really good and I recommend it when it comes out.

It made me want to start a blog where I write about something and people follow what I write and then they ask me to write a book about it and then it cbecomes a movie like this. But what shall I write about now that the whole Julia Child thing is taken? So i recommend and I recommend making me famous. thank you