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mike’s journal

Maureen's Birthday

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Maureen would be turning 32 on Monday and it kills me. A bunch of my friends have their birthdays in March and April , Jill March 17, MK March 28 and Jen April 25 and Maureen April 27 and it just seems so unreal that Maureen will not turn 32 with the rest of them. It is just so incredibly unfair and I hate it.

We had Maureen's mom and her mom's boyfriend Lou over for brunch last weekend. I feel terrible because I promised her mom I would keep in touch and haven't contacted her since before Christmas. I just oculnd't bring myself to do it. I felt like talking to her or seeing her would be too much for me to handle. Luckily @libertad is very thoughtful and amazing and called her and set up the brunch. It was really great to see her mom and I really want to keep in touch more. I feel terrible becasue I know if things were opposite Maureen would be checking in on my parents all the time and she would know all the right things to do and say. She always knew what to do and what to say in every situation and how to make everyone feel better. That has never been my thing. Maureen always made me want to strive to be a better person. I know people say that a lot after someone passes away but is really true. I am not saying I put one ounce of effort into becoming a better person but she definitely made me realize how great a person coudl be and how much someone could really affect other people. No matter what was going on in her own life she always took time to ehlp others in any way and make sure everyoen else was taken care of. I miss her so much.

This weekend is Diana's bachelorette and shower which will be nice in some ways because we will all be together and in another way is incredibly terrible because it is something Maureen won't be a part of. Me , Jill, Mk and their babies are going to the cemetery on Monday and I'm glad I will be able to spend that time all together.

I miss you Maureen. I always will.

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💬 2 comments

  1. libertad ·

    I know that Maureen's mom understands because I told her you felt bad and why you haven't been in touch and she just went on and on about how you had such a special connection. So she really does understand, she also talked about all the things she can't do because she can't handle it either. We can go check on them again soon.

    I'm really sorry, I know this is an awful time for you, not just her birthday but just summer in general.

  2. uchina ·

    I read this earlier and I wanted to tell you that Maureen was very beautiful and I'm sorry this is a rough time of the year for you. Birthdays are always one of the worst days. She will always be young though, always be beautiful in your memory.

    I wouldn't beat yourself up about not keeping in touch with her family, it's something I think they understand too. It's not that you aren't thinking about them, but it was her that you were closest with and it's HER that you want to see. Over time, maybe it'll be easier to keep in touch. I find that I feel the same way about my friend Chopstix' family, I think of them and I want to keep contact, but I'm terrible at it. I also don't want to just keep bringing her up all the time because I don't want to make them feel sad. You just have to do it in little increments, talking about even the most mundane things and maybe you can have moments to reminisce about Maureen and the times you had together. You'll always be special to her family because you were her close friend because you are another person who loved and cared for her and keep her alive in memories and reflections.

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