After someone mentioned some old estrip entries of mine the other day I decided to go back and read my old entries. WOw I used to write so much, how crazy. LIke every detail of what I did. Anyway, I recommned everyone goes back and reads them you will porlly find things you have forgotten about. I definetely did.
Some things I found were the entry about jill almost stepping in a dirty diaper on elmwood and Allen and many entriesabout my love of Mocha Jet Cafe's at Coffee&. I miss those a lot. I hadn't thought about them in forever but now I crave one like i havn'et craved anything in a long time. Iit is a nice recap of the last three years. So much has happened and I didn't realize I had recorded ita ll here. Its not as thrilling as looking back through actual things like mementos and photos but it is still really fun> DO IT, look back, its fun and entertating.

So i think we will lose our canisius email addresses soon since school is over and i graduated so today I did the daunting task of deciding what emails to save and forward to my aol account or print out. I had saved about over 600 emails or something crazy like that but I have parred it down to the 80 or so I really want. I prolly could get rid of some more but I have a hard time getting rid of stuff. It took forever but it feels like an accomplishment to have it done. So long tons of useless cnaisius correspondence and information..

I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I love the new Mariah Carey song. WEll not so new it came out a few weeks ago. It is the slower more like RandB song not the rappy one. I seriulsy love it and hearing it makes my dya. I'm not sure why but it is really good...eveyroen should go listen...NOW

Yesterday was a lot of fun. I saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in awhile like (e:lilho), (e:chris), rachel, Holly and Dave from Coffee & and others. It was so hot though and walking from Bidwell back to the PMT's alone was a little long and warm and I thought I was going to die. It was my first like get together at the PMTs without a Jill or Teres with me. It makes it completely different and forces me to actually mingle with other people. It was a lot of fun. SOmetimes though I say things I really shouldn't. WHy do I always say things that embarass myself. I think it is my destiny.
Seriously, I need a better battle plan with this whole dating situation. When Teres and Jill were around I totally didn't feel any lack by not dating but now it is defientley setting in and I have no skills at making it any different. I can't even ask someone I basically know for their phone number but instead need to have others get it for me. I really need to work on that. I was reading something about summer flings and that sounds like it would be fun right now. NOthing real serious, just a summer fling. Ok this entry is random , time to go for a walk. Sidenote: I love walking lately and if anyone wants to join me for some nighttime walks , just leave me a note.
OH yeah i foudn out three exciting things yesterday too, 1. me and (e:lilho) are gonna hang out one day and be the cool kids we are 2. Chris is gonna let me hav ethe old cash registers from the Pet Store (where i am gonna store them is a whole nother question) 3. Dave reminded me about how I wanted to read the book The Lottery but the librayr doesn't have it and he does so maybe i can borrow it and read it. All in all a good day.

So tomorrow I go back to work after not working for like two weeks because of graduation things and stuff going on with my nonna. I hope I remember how to do the job still, though I think after 6 years, I prolly should. Today going through stuff and cleaning up Nonna's I found a New Kids on the Block pin in her dresser drawer! How awesome is that! She still had it after all these years! I bet she was their biggest fan!

Sidenote: This was supposed to be the summer of getting hot yet so far I have exercised not even once and am getting even worse then when the summer began. I haven't even went to the Outlet Mall (which I consider exercise because there is a lot of walking ot outside stores, ok its lame, but i still consider it exercise)...so basically tomorrow I better exercise or its off to the fat farm for me..

This Is Paul On Mikes New Phone.

So surreal seeing my nonna's name in the obituaries. I read them everyday to keep track of any eckerd customers who have passed away and it was almost unreal seeing my grandmother's name right there, but there it was, Pierina Armenia. Today we have nothing to do. It seems like we should be doing something but the wake isn't until tomorrow and the funeral is on Friday so today just feels odd. Thansk to everyone who have sent messages and condolences.

My Nonna passed away this morning.I'm sure you've all read about it in (e:paul) journal and I've been wanting to write about it for the last few days about everything that happened but just don't' kjnow what to say. All I can say right now is she was an amazing lady...she was the nicest like most always thoughtful lady but ina totally sincere way. She would excuse anythign we did...I see this family tree picture frame sittting here that I had gotten her last year and was putting together the photos to put in it. I kept putting it off because I thought oh there will be more time and now there isn't. Its so sad that she devoted her whole life to everyone else and in a year I couldtn' even find the time to put together this photo frame. It will always haunt me.

SHe was so excited about my graduatin. It is all she ahs been talking about for months. She only went to school utnil second grade and so college graduation impressed her so muhc. She was so proud and she coldn't wait ot go out and celebrate my graduation. I am so sad that she coudn't see it. THe image of her grabbing me and looking despereately for help when i found yher in her ktichen will be frozen in my mind for the rest of my life. I don't htink I can ever forget it. Why did it have to happen then? Why couldn't we at least have had that one last nice day celebrating the hone thigns she had been waiting so long for.

Teres and Jll left for Eurpoe today. THey will be gone for six months so my my support system is gone. Marykate leaves tomorrow for a month. Timing for all this coudln't be worse. I honesly don't know how I am going to make it through. Right now I am a total wreck.I don't know if this is all waht i wanted to say at all , this was not the tribute I planned but it will come later maybe........NONNA I LOVE YOU...YOU WERE THE BEST NONNA ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR!!!!! On her table was the note she wrote me fro my graudtion. SHe must have just finsihed it as she hadn't transfered it to the card yet.....I'm glad at least I will always have that...she wrote it in Italian because I have finally learned Italian...too bad I will never be able to use it with er..........

I'm staying at PMT's crack mansion for the week while they are on vacation. I have to make sure their zoo house of animals survives without them. Thankfully (e:matt) did all the cricket feeding that needs to be doen for the week so I don't have to touch those scary jumping creatures!! This apt is much nicer than their old one in style and niceness but I liked the old one better because it was more in the middle of things. LIke there were always people walking by and I could go outside and see people and take walks. ALthough this one is only like a block away it seems like a different world. Plus, at the old one there were plenty of random visitors stopping by b/c they were in the neighboorhood, that doesn't seem to happen here....soo feel free to stop by and remember THIS SATURDAY AT OFF THE WALL: GOODBYE TERES AND JILL PARTY!!! Everyone must attend, it is like an order! Ok that's all for now

One paper left for this place we call Canisius! So why can't I start it? The teacher just extended the deadline from 5 today to 5 tomorrow so you know what that means more procrastination. So am I not starting it because I fear the future and what it brings and don't want to be finished with college. Is it a deep psychological desire to preserve what I have and not accept change and moving on? Or am I just a lazy procrastinator? I'll let the public decide for themselves on this one....