For the last few days, for the first time in my life, I feel like I'm not that close with anyone. Like I feel I don't know, just not that close with anyone. Not that I'm not talking to people or fighting with people, I just don't feel that close. Like I feel like if I was not around no one's life would be any different or worse off. I have never felt that before. Like even if it was kinda self-centered I always felt like I really mattered and my friends lives would be much to the worse or at least much different without me but lately I don't feel that way. I feel like I could dissappear and noone would even really notice. Who knows, I'll prbably get over it soon. Maybe it is just my natural reaction to knowing that everyone will be leaving soon and growing up and so I need to part emotionally. I don't know. But recently I just feel so unimportant in everyone's lives and it makes me sad.

So I am sorta in charge of this spaghetti dinner fundraiser that sociology club is having on April 17. We're were originally going to use like premade spaghetti sauce and just cook the pasta ourselves but Olive Garden said they may supply the food which is exciting. That would I'm sure make many more people come for a cheap olive garden dinner. Anywho, this whole thing seems like a lot of work but I enjoy it. It reminds me of back in the day when I was in every club and had something going on all the time. It is kinda fun. Its making me wish that maybe I would have gotten involved in other things in college before three months before the end of my senior year. Ehh , too late now. By the way, does anyone have any connections to stores or businesses that you think would like to donate prizes (like giftcards or anything) to the dinner becasue we are also making it a raffle and karoake contest I think. It is all very preliminary planning even though it is planned for April 17, though we have no firm commitment on a location, food, funding, or anything. I hope it goes good, it would be sad if the one thing I did in my college career was a failure. Fundraising is fun! I'm glad to be back in the swing of things.

Went to see the Lion King for Yosepha's birthday tonight. I thought it was really cool like they way they did all the animals and especially the beginning with all the animals and the elephant (I love elephants!!!). I didn't love any of the songs that they added that weren't in the movie though. And what was the random like gay-dance club number in the middle of Be Prepared. Tre Odd!

This weekend was crazy hectic with many things. Mary Kate is an amazing singer and though like I knew she could sing I never guess I heard or really realized how amazing she really was until her recital. WOW!!! and then fun ensued at Opera Night and then the bar. (Sorry we stole the last of those super scrumptious peanut butter cookies, ok we left you and Julie one, we have a a little compassion you know). Haha, if you ever see (e:MK) ask her what she keeps in her sheep backpack!

At my sociology honors society induction thing this morning my one professor asked me to present a paper I wrote last semester at a thing at Buff State which is exciting. It is about PMT and about three people relationships, it is an ethnography of a three people relationship and how that changes the dynamics and waht society thinks and stuff. I'm excited to do it. I've never had to present a paper in an importnat way before.

My grandma is home from the hospital though my mom and/or dad have to be tghere 24/7 at least for now until they are sure she can live on her own. But still its good that she is home. Ok its time for me to get to my work that i couldn't do all weekend cuz of all the events!!!

Ok now I know I have praised Mel my honors seminar professor in the past on here but grr. So I was up until liek al ittle after 5am to finsih this reading journal that was due and then I had to go to work at 8 and then right to school at 230 for his class. Well after i spent about lke 15hours on the stupid journal cuz i am doing not my best in the class right now , he decides he's notgoign to collect it itl next week!! Grrr! At least I guess it is good that it is done becuae otherwise i would just put that plus the new assignment off until next Monday night but still it was aggravating.

ok, so i live for awards shows and frankly the Oscars are my heaven. Sure I love the daytime emmy's but the Oscars are just a cut above the rest in my heart. Anyway last night was a total dissappointment. First off, I hate that Joan Rivers has been banished to the TV Guide channel which comes in foggy and in black and white on my tv. Second what the heck were they thinking having Melissa Rivers just like circle body parts and hair styles and writing over the people while Joan was interviewing. E! was no better with stupid Starr Jones ridiculously fawning over everyone like they were her hero and best friend, plus she was showing a little too much back fat for that dress. And Kathy Griffin, I hate her, she is nothing more than a glorified fart joke. Starr and Kathy are no Joan and Melissa , heck Joan and Melissa are no Joan and Melissa anymore with the craptastic TV Guide Channel. Technical difficulties abounded during the preshow (and continued in the real show) and at one point Joan had no idea who someone was cuz she wasn't cued right and made them introduce themselves (ok this was entertaingin but still not quality)
Then the real show began and Chris Rock was pretty boring, they were worried about him being controversial but he didn't even say really anything, it seemed liek he had much less screen time than past hosts. Did anyone else notice he made fun of people who weren't there like Jude Law (and why does Sean Penn always have to pick a fight even if it was fun to watch). There were too many times when yo ucould hear things like crashing backstage and other technical mishaps. AND WHAT THE HECK IS IT WITH THIS you're award is not that importnat so we will just give it to you in your seat so your back is to half the audience. And what about the Survivor like way they presented the awards to people who had to stand on stage as one was picked as the winner. Really this just further separated like um really only the celebritites are important we just are forced to give awards in your categories cuz you pay your dues.
And what about Whoppie Goldberg as the person who go to do the tribute to Jonny Carson? WHAT? HOw do they pick these things?
And most annoying of all! WHy was Beyonce singing all the songs. She obviously had no idea what the French words meant and she was just craptastic all around. And why did Antonio Banderas get to sing that guy's song when the guy was in the audinece and was so muhc better at it. You could tell the ugy was pissed, as he should be. Joan commented in the preshow that the real guy was way better than Antonio and should have sang. GO JOAN! Anywho, the whole thing was pretty crappy with many duplicate dresses and boring ensembles. Give me more next year Oscars or I'm going to have to find a new award show to worship!!!

Went to see Rent last night. I thought it was really good. Like some parts were probably not the best they could be but overall it was really great I thought. And it was a lot sadder than I realized. I had the recording of it before and didn't love it but now after seeing it, the songs seeem so much better and of course just like after any muscial I see now I can't stop listening to the recording. A lot of stuff said in Rent is really good. One thing I thought about was the guy who records everything and Roger said to him somethning about hiding from everything real and emotions by recording everything and whle that doesn't really exactly apply to me it made me think about how maybe sometimes I am too concerned with like recording and creating memories and then lose out in the current happenings. Like trying to hard to make something memorable instead of just living it. I tend to do that I think. Anyway overall Rent was really good and I'm really glad I saw it....however

On the way there I was supposed to meet (e:chris) and others I thought at 645 at UB but it turns out I was supposed to meet them at their house. BUt it gets even more ridiculous than that. So they called at like 7:05 and I was at UB like just getting there (cuz of course I was running late) and they hadn't left theri house yet and yet they still go to the CFA before me. Like they made it all the way from Kenmore to the CFA before I could get there and I was already at UB. That is how freakin lost I got on the cmapus. All because I couldn't just follow instructions and go to their house beforehand instead. I really need to pay more attention to what people are syaing. Its extra stupid because I dorve by their house on the way and saw their car was still there and actually thought hmm maybe we are supposed to meet there since we were meeting so early at 645 for a 8pm show and even went back drove by again but then decided they must have taken someone else's car. I hsould have called and verified...oh well


Sidenote: (e:boxerboi) is completely wrong and Real World is so not over and is still really good and hopefully never ends. Subsidenote: On the episode the other night Willy was saying how he likes really manly men liek his current beau whose name i forget. It was funny cuz there was nothing manyly about that man, he was quite feminine so I wonder what Willy would consider feminine. Anywho...goodnight all

So odd...the other night when we went to Le Metro it was completely segregated black/white. In the one room where the band was playing everyone in there was black and in the bar room everyone was white. Even the waitress serving the other room was black while the bartender was white. It was really odd to see such a segregated arrangement!

So odd...the other night when we went to Le Metro it was completely segregated black/white. In the one room where the band was playing everyone in there was black and in the bar room everyone was white. Even the waitress serving the other room was black while the bartender was white. It was really odd to see such a segregated arrangement!

Last night me, Christie and Teres went to Pink and there was basically noone there but we played the game where you have to find the differences between the two pictures, we seriuosly played it for about an hour but needless we became experts and we now are like 7 of the top 10 scores including the highest score which we beat the old highest score by like 50,000 points. Quite a feat considering me and Christie were pretty drunk, although I guess most people who play it are. We played with the babe picture and the hunk pictures but found our skills were best in just the general category. All in all a fun interesting night, some scary guy buying us shots cuz he liked christie aka angela and a person who was at Frizzy's and left their picture from the photo booth and we took it and then we saw them at Pink and so the bartender hung it on the wall right across from where they were sitting. Awkward but fun when they realized we had taken it from Frizzys.

Teres was brave enough to try the food at Pink which always kinda scared me but she gave it the thumbs up. Ewww sidenote, all the toilets in the girls bathroom were flooded over, ehhh just hgearing about it made me sick. ALl in all a good night. Wish me luck tonight, I have to work with the worst worker ever, seriuosly messed up, socially handicapped, terrible, terrible worker who I can't describe in words. So if I survive I'll be glad!!!

So last night me and Jill went with Jim to one of his coworkers birthday at Allen St. Hardware. We thought it would just be like her and her friends would be at the bar type thing but no they were all liek sitting at a table making incredibly awkward like why was I there? Like Jim knows the girl and JIll is his girlfriend and then I was the random sidekick everyone wonders why you're there person. Awkward!

How sad about Epeep night being the night I am going to see Rent at UB. THough I'm sure I'll still be able to go to epeep night afterwards maybe but I"m not sure.

Sarah Gilbert (the angry daughter from Roseanne who would play Jill in a movie about Jill's life), I feel bad for her. The girl from Buffy and American Pie who was supposed to be in some new sitcom dropped out of it and did this whole interview where she was like "yeah the role was stupid and pointless and I just couldn't waste my time wiht it because it was so bad" and then after the interview they added , "the role will now be played by Sara Gilbert" ....poor Sara Gilbert.

Jessica Ho will I see you while you are here?