So this is my self loathing entry. I just have been a little aggravated lately with life. I am getting sick of work and everything. 20 hours in two days right before Christmas when we are crazy busy is too much. ANyway that is not why I am really mad. Like do you ever have the perfect opportunity for something and then you ruin it or just don't go for it because you are just dumb. Well that's how I feel lately. Like I just let everything pass me by and the most glaring example happened the other day and it just aggravates me and why can't I be like a normal human being and not be comnpletely afraid of everything. Do you ever regret like just leaving instead of dealing with something. Grr.
Side but sort of related note. I have been thinking lately that I would not wish myself on anyone. I was thinking I would make a terrible person to date. I'm not a big complimenter, self-esteem builder, and I have tons of issues and phobias and ocd-like issues and I don't have like super hotness that would cancel those things out. I really think if I really liked someone I would have to believe they were better off wihtout a crazy like me. Well who knows, I am just in a bad mood today, prolly toomrorw I'll feel different.
But hey everyoen listen to my new soundbite, lets just say it involves some of my favorite people, Blanche, Dorothy, ROse and Sofia.

Just a quick update to say that my dinner party was a success. Well I think it was at least, maybe everyone is talking about how terrible it was right now but I don't think. I think it definetely went really well and the food came out good and people seemed to have a good time. While I didn't get everything I wanted to ready in time, I think there was still more than enough food and good decorations. Today was pretty good too but then it started to go bad because I do stupid things sometimes. Ok, i'll talk more about the party and today later when I have more time.

So the guests should be arriving for my first ever solo planned dinner party and my first christmas party ever in about 5 hours. We'll see how it goes. So far everything is going extremely well which makes me really nervous that something is going to go terribly wrong any minute. I am well on my way to finishing cooking the mian courses and some of the desserts and everything is going smooth as silk. My guest list has just been reduced to 10 due to a cancellation so now I'm not sure how I want to set up the tables. We'll see. I'm nervous that I don't have enough side dishes and/or appetizers but everyone has said they think it's enough but I just am not sure. Tomorrow I'll have either a glowing report of how well tonight went or a rant about what a disaster it was. Wish me luck. Stay tuned...

I love the old ladies that come into Eckerd, not all of them, but a lot of them. Yesterday after not working for a like a week and a half and only having a few hours the week before, I started working again. All the old ladies, told me how much they missed me while I was gone and were wondering where I was. One asked the other workers if I had quit. It's so nice to know they care. They really make my job fun and enjoyable. It's good to feel they depend on me and trust me. I also had a friend's mom come to our pharmacy for the first time cuz of me and I think I got another expatient who once said we were snotty to come back. What would that store do without me?

Well this was my exam week and it was pure craziness. I had like an exam and a final paper due everyday. It's not that I didn't find time to go out for coffee though because, the king of procrastination can always find time for that but I am seriously worn out from doing all this work. Like mentally worn out. But I finished my last paper and I just have to hand it in tomorrow and I AM DONE!!!
Sidenote, it's aggravating that they won't take back my stupid public speaking book. I seriously barely used it all year and had to buy a new copy because there was a new edition and now they aren't buying it back! AGGRAVATING!

So I'm getting exctied about my christmas party next saturday although I don't know what I am going to make for dinner for everyone. I really wanted everyone to bring a guest so that there would be some people I don't really know, and like everyone could meet new people, but most of my friends are not but I am still holding out hope that they all will. I wanted to invite some people I don't really know also in order to liek just mix it up a little, like people i know only a little, but I didn't cuz I wasn't srue if that would be wierd. Ok that's all for now.

First off i just want to say I added like 10 entries in a row so please read them all and I hope they entertain.

MORE IMPORTANTLY: for teres's bday we are making her a video of answers people give to some of her favorite questions she likes to ponder. If you would like to be on the video email me, my elmwoodstrip accoutn is working again (mike@elmwoodstrip.com) or you can just email your answers like typed if you don't want to be on video. The questions are (and give reasons with your answer not just like yes or no)

1. Would you rather swim in a pool of vomit or eat a bowl of scabs?
2. How do you feel about cheerleaders?
3. Spooning or snuggling?
4. How do you like your sandwiches cut?
5. Would you rather be smart but everyone thought you were stupid, or stupid and everyone thought you were smart?
6. Spoon or Fork? (only one for the rest of your life?)
7. Can one date themself?
8. Can one create their own nickname?
9. Your thoughts on milk?
10. Your favorite Keanu Reeves movie?
11. Your favorite Teres moment? (if you actually know her or make one up if you don't )

So the other day it was like 11:15 and I decided I really needed a Mocha Jet Cafe from Coffee &. So I walked down there but I wasn't sure if they were still open and so I was peering in the windows, not subtely at all and may have been jumping up and down at one point trying to see but I didn't think I saw anyone so I walked away. Then about 5 minutes later I decided to walk back cuz I was thinking, they must be open. Again, I try to peer in the windwon and then I see someone is on the upstairs in the windwo so I decide to go in. Well when I go in lets call one worker CO and the other BD for the purpose of this entry well and I actuallyd on't know there names. Well BD was just going upstairs so I was afraid they could see me jumping up and dwon staring in the window for liek 10 minutes at this point and so it looked liek I was waitingn for BD to leave like i was stalking CO or sometihng> Which I so wasn't, I really couldn't see inthe window. Maybe it is tinted or something. Then I got a drink for my bro and one for myself but i ddn't get a lid for my bros and I had tdo carry it back to his apartment in the freezing cold tyring not to spill it. Anyway then the next day was when I took my random 2 hour walk (see crazy subway entry below) and who do I happen to be walking right behind, of course it's CO. So now I relaly look like a stalker and at one point I ran ahead a bit to not look suspicoiu but really looking all the more suspicious. In truth, maybe they didn't notice either time, which I hope, but really who knows.

Another thing, Jill thinks I have reached my 50 year old soccer mom peak becuase the other day at Spot I got hot chocolate and I saw they had vanilla powder and I got really excited and Jill said my eyes were crazy like I had never been more excited in my life and i said something like "oooh that would be nice, putting a little vanilla powder in here will make it taste like vanilla hot chocolate" I guess I said it in the tone of a crazed, chef soccer mom, but hey I guess that is what happens when you become such a Lifetime addict that you have an account so that they send you Text messages when something important is happneing on the channel.

So Friday was Teres's actual birthday but she went out with her sister and brother in law. So on Saturday we took her to a Sabres game for her birthday. That is what she wanted so it wasn't really a surprise which was kinda sad cuz surprises are more fun but it seemed to be what she really wanted. We brought Subway to eat before the game b/c we didn't' have a lot of time before the game to go out to eat or anything. We made it to the game quite succesfully (the trick was to follow all the people in the Sabres jerseys to see where they got off on the subway and where they went to). Well our seats were pretty high up like as high as you could go minus one row and so after the first period we snuck down and ended up sitting like 6 or so rows from the ice right behind the goal basically which was pretty awesome. Sitting like a few rows in front of us were some Canadian guys that I think Teres should have went out with since they were 21 and so was she and we were not and they asked where the good places to go were. But she didn't want to go off with starnger for some reason I'll never understand. I was a little out of it during the game for some reason. At different points I said:

1."Oh , i thought that was a painting" (after a player was knowkced out on the ice and i saw him lying by the boards but no other player seemed to be paying attention so I assumed it was a painting of a player not a real player)
2. "Oh, I forgot we could watch it live" (since the puck was down the other side of the ice I was watching it on the jumbotron and then forgot to look back at the ice for a while thinking I was just watching the game on tv)
3. "Look he is playing with only the top half of a stick" (Nope, he had a full stick but it was sideways so I just couldn't see like the bottom part)
Afterwards we went back to Jill's for some continued party celebration, well sundaes and rice. I think it all went good. I hope Teres had fun. HAPPY BDAY AGAIN TERES!

I'm not exactly sure what I saw Friday night, at points it seemed like a bad Power Rangers episode but then it was mixed with live action singing. Well it was Starlight Express but a grossly different version than I had originally loved. Besides changing up some of the songs and dropping some completely. That was kinda sad. Also, instead of a stage that went out into the audience they had 3D movies that were really subpar, i mean you don't generally go to see live theatre to see a prerecorded 3D movie. But overall it was still entertaining and our seats even though they were the last row of the floor were not too bad. One thing I didn't in particular was Electra's song AC/DC. It was totally done differently than what I had on the old tape soundtrack thing I had, I don't know, it used to be my favorite song and was not at this performance. We couldn't tell if any of theh people in the cast were the people that werein front of us at Regal the other day wearing Starlight Express jackets. Possibly Rusty was but who knows or maybe it was Greaseball, i don't remember. So overall, I"m glad I saw it again, but it was not as good as I had hoped, not even close.

So Thursday started like any other day, little did I know where it would take me. I got out of class at 12:15 and my next class was at 2:30 and so I decided I would just take the subway which is right at Canisius to Shea's which it lets off right in front of in order to get my Starlight Express Tickets. Well, well, well that simple plan turned crazily complicated. So suprisingly enough knowing me, I did get on the subway going in the right direction, and it was a litlte more crowded than I expected. Well it was all fine and dandy until this huge lady comes in with her baby and is walking and the train starts and she steps right on my foot. All 400+ pounds of her weight on my one foot. And of course I had to laugh like it was nothing, instead of crying due to the excruciating pain. She then proceded to sit next to me and take up both our seats and basically sat on my leg. Oh it was so fun! NOT!! people don't say not as often as they used to and I think it needs to come back. Well anyway I get to Shea's, buy the tickets and then decide to go to Prima Pizza to get a slice of pizza but decide to keep walking until I get to Elmwood and Chippewa. And then in my infinite wisdom decide I'll walk back to Canisius, so i walk down elmwood all the way to Delevan. IT is crazy FAAR! and then I walked down delavan to canisius. It took liek almost the full two hours. And right before I get to Canisius, there are these three liek maybe 30 or 40's year old guys sititing on their porch and i walk by and they are like hey come here. And once again my infinite wisdom tells me to go back thinking maybe I dropped something. So i go back and after we do this "cool" handshake I don't know what I"m doing and try to follow along he then asks for some money and so I take out my wallet (mistake #2) and give him a $1, not that he is homeless or anything mind you cuz he just came out of a house. Then he says he needs to buy a 40 and asks if i can give him like 50 more cents. Great he coudn't have at least faked hunger and pretended it was for food but no he tells me it is for beer. So I give him 50 more cents. And then he was like why don't you take care of all my friends, you know I can't drink alone. And so i was like I don't have any more money. And he was like I can see in your wallet that you have more money. And I was like "um nope". And so I gave him the rest of the change I had. And he was like why don't you give me a 5 and I was like I don't have a 5 (i really didn't, i only had a 20 and i wasn't about to give it to a stranger for beer). Then he is all liek "why are you so nervous" cuz at that point i was most likely shaking, sweating profusely and may have peed my pants a little, ok i didn't but given a few more minuets I probably would have. So then I eventaully left them but not beofer another crazy handshake I embarassed myself trying to do. So my advice: don't do stupid things like i do.