🏷️ life

so, all of you more experienced (e:strip)pers, give me some help here!

here is my situation:

i have the opportunity to move out. to a nice apartment in a nice area, with two people i know i will get along with.

however, i have a lot of debt right now. a car to pay off, and get fixed now that i have fucked it up. i have school to focus on, and two jobs as well. moving out would add more stress to my full plate.

moving out would also mean a very very tight budget, and i would have to work even more. i wouldn't be able to eat out, go out, etc, very much at all, but when i did, i would have no one to answer to.

the place is reasonably priced and in a very central area for work and school. but, now i have no furniture but a bed and some other things....

my mom wants me to stay here for a while and get on my feet. i want to move out so i can start my life. i don't know what to do. its not bad here, but who wants to say they live with their parents after a certain age? i feel like a huge loser.

basically, i move out and be broke. or stay here, and save mad money and get a sweet place/move somewhere else for school when i am ready.

what do i do?

i think i am stuck here for a while.

i only have 3/4 of my life left to do something with "it".

i've not done anything yet.

i HAVE to do something. i feel like i haven't done anything.

wait, i take that back. i have done 7 NOT GREAT things:

gluttony


avarice


sloth


lust


greed


pride


wrath


i wrote about two pages full of personal thoughts, and then thought, "hey, that's way too personal for the internet." so, you will just have to wonder about what i wrote and then deleted.

but, anyway, i need a new fucking ten year plan people. and i need to not fuck it up this time.

just to end it more positively, i love this piece by roy lichtenstein. i love pop art, and the drama of it. i feel like it is very me. very dramatic, over the top, and kinda crazy, and all over the place, in a 92% good way.

i feel totally fine being alone. i don't feel like i need anything or anyone.

ok, maybe i totally need my ipod! and lipgloss of course.


i'm actually so ok, that i've pretty much lost any interest in dating. im more interested in getting good grades, getting ready for my huge move, and going to work. and of course, having great times with friends!






this feels good! :O) have a great day everyone!

so, living by yourself is a bitch. its expensive, nobody has dinner for you when you get home, and its expensive.


i have decided to cut back in anticipation of said move, and the fact that i NEED a new car. here's what i will be saying goodbye to:

• netflix

• internet(ok, maybe)

• my car, i loved you while it lasted

• alcohol for the most par

• any sort of clothes shopping, at all. but i do need to get new sneakers, so that doesn't count

im gonna keep my gym membership a my one luxury. im sure between all of the walking plus the gym i will be in tip-top shape in no time.

also, the fact that i will no longer have a car, means i can really be green party, at least for a short while.

ps. the police will never ever have your best interest at heart. don't let them catch you ridin dirty...

i think this qoute that one of my professor's gave me, is quite true:

"You are completely responsible for the choices you make. If you make bad chioices, bad things will happen, sooner or later. If you make good choices, bad things are much less likely to happen."
-John Rosemond

i am so incredibly excited about school this semester. art is definitely to way for me to go. im taking some pretty cool classes, like fabric printing, so i will post some pics when i have finished work.

not only am i taking great classes, but the professor of 3 out of 4 of my classes happens to be my friend's mother. this is fun and scary at the same time, because i feel like i definitely have to make a good impression. not to worry though, i will kick ass and take names.

i successfully joined the BAC last night! look out for a fit new me! i am determined to feel comfortable in a bikine this summer. and also the benefits of being shape will be nice too!

while i think i will really enjoy this semester, it would be nice to make a friend or two. it seems impossible however, because ECC really is just ghetto high school. argh.

i think i have a sinus infection, but my cure is to just drink it off.

au revior peaches!

i just may take the e:brit's adivce and go into hiding for a while. im tired, of everything.

vacation should be a good time! and im really thinking i just can't take life anymore w/o the sun...

last night @ work, a consumer(those for whom i work with), not a coworker, starting choking on his dinner. the other staff froze, and his face went from red to bright red, to purple.

in the haze of the moment, i jumped up, placed my fist under his sternum and just began to push. the food was dislodged, and thank god, he is ok.

im still in awe of the fact i have actually rescued someone from certain death. all these people at work call me a hero now.

and to think that i had forgotten about that this morning.

now matter how shitty, and tired i feel, i fucking saved a life. and that makes me feel damn good.

the Heimlich does work. learn it, and use it.

i went out last night, which was good for the soul, and has some bonding time with an old friend. its wierd because we don't hang out that much, but, he is a really great person to be around when im going through a rough time, and thats just what i need right now.

i just don't understand why, when one thing goes wrong, it all goes wrong. im having major trouble focusing on school, or anything for that matter, but i must pull through, because when i get through this year, i can start to think about applying to schools, and where i wanna be, which is kinda exciting. very exciting actually. and scary too. but im proud that i feel like ihave so many choices now, compared to a couple of years ago, when i was so helpless.

my brother called me very early this morn, begging for me to take him to the hospital, and after a day of getting these calls, i sucked it up and took him. i was extremely tired, as i had a late night, and am still not feeling well.( did i mention that i puked in the pizza place this afternoon?) classy, i know, but now im paranoid about the mono thing, as i now know two people who have it. one of which is my poor sicky little brother. i feel awful for him, and want to help him, and its just so sad, and he got into a huge fight with his gf, who he lives with, and might come stay with me.

plus, i have so much fucking work this weekend...and i now feel bad about leaving for ny on thurs if josh is here with no fam. help?