where are you in my life?

non-existent. lol.


anyway. jason knows my neighbor, weird. my neighbor, mike kept saying some guy named "dan" had stopped by and he knows me. it turned out to really be (e:jason). how funny.

my neighbor gets a lot of visitors. he runs a little home business.

and for you joshua, you will have to call me for a haircut. lazy ass.


its nice here in az. we went for a midnight swim. i didn't see the shallow water signs(it was dark), and jumped in full force. i now have a bruised and swollen knee. im a huge idiot.

im a genius. i just figured out, myspace is for losers.

t-1 day to vaca. how sweet is that.




keep it real kids. when i get back i'll be a big time pimp ass hearing mofo....

WHAT?

my momma is getting me some hearing aids.

ill be able to really hear for the first time ever!

CRAZY.

i would really like to just find a fucking job that works out.


all other aspects of my life seem to be in the right place. but the job thing just isn't working out.


fuck.



at least i can go on vaca song...soon. (e:thesimeon) is singing me the ronery song, im ronery. ah, a ritter ronery.

so, i was flingin the dogs, with my coworker mike, and tellin him all bout my blues, and he told me his. he's fun to work with, and easy to talk to, and probably one of the few really awesome straight guys i know, in a totally platonic way.

he did my wishing well, and it read, "forge ahead".

i decided i would. turns out... im getting severence pay from one of the jobs i was fired from. i have an interview tomorrow night. and now, i feel a little less angry at the world.


you doubt people, and then sometimes they throw you for a loop and do the right thing. let me tell you, that feels so fucking good. it feels so good, just to be treated fairly.

i just wish there was more fairness in the world. or at least a little human compassion.

ejoy ur day ya'll, i know i am.

to mrdt and all those who think i've been sending out the bad jive...

i've had and lost three jobs in three weeks, i have more too worry about than someone i don't agree with on (e:strip).

i don't even have a computer at home. at don't even check my email, or post once a week.

so, (e:mrdt), i didn't send you that shitty comment. if i did, i would send it with my name attached.

g'night.

today, i got a a new job...again.

lol. i know. this is totally redic. but, i shall be an assistant at Kallista for Hair, on elmwood, near breckinridge. i can finally put my license to use.

now everyone can be happy. mom. me. boyfriend. sister.

lets all join hands and dance in a big circle.

now i have to quit my other job and get my money. how fun.

i register for classes on monday. yay. time to be student again. not sure i remember how.

now, mom can get of my friggin ass, and, we can all have a nice vaca in three weeks!

three weeks, poopsie and me go to az. i don't think (e:thesimeon) appreciatesme calling him poopsie all the time. i don't have baby to play with anymore though, and someone has to be my poopsie:O(.

the new job, not the hotdog stand. the personal aide position doesn't seem to be the job i was offered. i worked sat and sun, woke at 6 both days, and worked my ass off, for the most damanding, unhappy, mean man ever. it seemed nothing i did was ever the "right" way. and he kept giving me weird looks.

sorry sir, if i don't know your 4 hour enema process. sorry, that i moved the paper to the left, my arm was sore from holding in front of your face for over and hour. i'm sorry i don't know how to lift you, shower you, make your toast right.

after all that ass kissing, i've been to reach the women in charge of scheduling, and i have not gotten one phone call back. that's two days.

i just want to know why i get fucked over with jobs like this so much.

i just need a fucking job. i can work. as you can see above, i can deal with most anything. including a lot of shit, and yet, i still seem to constantly get screwed.

plus, my mother won't get off my ass. acording to her i suck at life. i never do the right thing. i never have the right job. i'm lazy. this shouldn't be so hard. she always had a good job. she always knows exactly the right thing to do. she is perfect.

i'm going to visit her in three weeks, and now, i really don't want to go. when she was 22. let's see, she had an asshole druggy husband, and a kid, and no education. how does that make her better than me.

i'm so sick of everyone telling me what i need to do. maybe people should just try and be loving and supportive and put theirselves in my shoes. sometimes it's easy, sometimes, not so much so.

and to add to all of that, i'm the fatest i've ever been, and i feel ugly. that's a first. i need to be locked up and starved for the next three weeks. i'm serious.

i think tomorrow will be much better.

p.s. i'm being much too dramatic. but, would it kill to return a phone call? ugh.