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Last Visit 2016-05-07 18:36:56 |Start Date 2004-01-01 03:50:14 |Comments 1,671 |Entries 1,171 |Images 455 |Videos 13 |Mobl 214 |

Category: moving

06/14/07 03:33 - ID#39652

so damn tired

cannot wait until, well, i cannot wait until i get to finally sleep! i am still trying to shove random items into my suitcases, and i am beyond exhaustion.

i don't even think i have energy to be sad or anything. is that a plus????

why are men suck fucking idiots??? this guy that i tired to hang out with yesterday, totally ignore me and threw a football around with his friends. i thought we were gonna chill in the park.

another guy came over last night to chill for a bit, and we kissed goodbye. it was sweet, and sad. the other guy most have found out about the kiss or something, because he posted on my facebook wall and said, "be easy, play on player". wtf???? i was unaware that our random hookups were mutually exclusive?

another asshole guy never fucking called to say goodbye. i guess i never really called him either, partly because i deleted his number.

i am done with:

1. guys

2. goodbyes


ready for:


1. sleep

2. sister

3. tv
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Category: moving

06/12/07 09:17 - ID#39625

packing has comsumed my life!

what to do with all this crap????


well, im throwing 3/4 of my life's possessions away. i can't deal with having this much stuff. clutter. crap.


i have that constant sick stomach feeling.

i swear that i have an illness that prevents me from being any bit non-dramatic when it comes to goodbyes. i've always been this way. since i was five and had to say goodbye to my cousins after vacation. i would sit at home and mope for a few weeks before feeling like myself again.

i know i don't feel like it now, but thank god i am going to nyc to spend some much needed time with (e:hodown) before i go to az.

my mom suggested that since it is too hard to say goodbye, "say hello."

i have to go do shit now, because i'm starting to cry. i feel like a huge ass.

and i need to get some some before i leave~! ;o0
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Category: moving

06/03/07 03:21 - ID#39512

i'm seeing ghosts

i really want to just leave now, without saying goodbye.


this is all getting too hard for me


i went for so long with so little drama, and now certain people come back into my life and start messing with my head.


just need to get back to the point of not caring...
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Category: moving

05/08/07 11:52 - ID#39206

swift!

to all those who care and don't care...



I AM LEAVING BY JUNE 20th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


peace out peaches!
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Category: moving

05/02/07 09:36 - ID#39125

so excited

two months baby!!!! im so excited to move! not that i don't love the blo. I've been thinking about how i really want to see the world, at least before global warming kills us all.

i can't wait to live in a sunny place and hike all the time. im excited to be around family more, and just start over in general.

it gives me that, anything is possible feeling...


p.s. cannot take fat-ass to az, must get in shape. must be prepared to wear little clothing. i need some adderall, or however you spell it.
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Category: moving

04/12/07 11:39 - ID#38873

packing heat

so, i finally came out of my coma-like state and decided to start packing instead of just staring at the wall...

i don't have as much stuff as i thought,

but i have way more clothes than i thought. i hate getting rid of clothing. i have two huge bins full of shoes....might be time to get rid of a few pairs. or not. i have many pairs i've never even worn.

i found a great shade of red nail polish. some cute handbags and clutches i forgot about, and at least 5 tubes of lipgloss! it's like a store @ home!

im going to continue on this journey tomorrow, and who knows, maybe ill be ready to move the hell out!!!!!
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Category: moving

02/25/07 05:35 - ID#38278

leaving for good

i have decided that im going to move to Arizona. I've really made up my mind this time, and its not changing. it will be the end of an era, and im really excited to start a whole new life out there.

i feel like i have put so much effort into living here, with little gain, if any. im tired of putting out so much to get so little in return. i don't want to have a broken heart anymore. i don't want to feel betrayed by anyone. i will dearly miss the (e:viscos) , and (e:matt) , and (e:terry) of course. other than that, there is nothing here for me. i have a dwindling supply of friendships, and ties to anyone in buffalo, and find myself becoming more and more lost and depressed here each day. i miss my mother, and the good advice that she gives(yet i never take). i miss feeling happy and being out in the sun, and being around family.

get it while you can, because im not going to be around much longer (e:peeps).

p.s. im so sick of working overnights.
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