ok, so i have really been thinking about a lot of things lately. i don't know if this is good or bad.

it's just that i feel like i am at this strange point, where i can just totally move on from past experiences and relationships, or try to bridge the gap and reconnect or make peace with people.

i am just not someone who can totally forget everything and pretend it doesn't affect the person i am now, because it really does.

there are really only a few people i don't feel that i need to have any sort of closure with, well one, and i have no issues with that.

but, in other places, i feel friendships and people floating away, and it's now or never to decide what to do.

i'm rebuilding a connection with an old friend, and in this case, she seemed to drift for a long time, and i let her. i was angry for a long time, but i think since my grandma past, i really feel like it is important to take the opportunities we have when we do. she was going through an extremely hard time, and that is ok. i was just hurt that she pushed me away. the most important thing i realized is that there are so many time when she was there, and how many memories we share and that our friendship is a big part of what makes me, me.

anyway, this is sappy but true. don't hold grudges, it hardens your heart.