So my name has traveled way down the Read the Latest list. Probably the farthest down it has ever been. It is mainly because my dad got a new casino game and is on the computer all the time and I am too tired to wait up til he is done. Life is pretty good lately. I saw the Strangers with Candy Movie. Me and (e:jill) loved it. It was really funny. If you liked the show you will definetely like it. I definetely think though that it is one of those things that you either hate or love. I think it would be hard to be like "eh , its ok" about it.

Me and (e:jill) are hopefully going to look at some apartments this weekend. I really realized I need to move out now because my dad is giving up OTB. That is where he goes all day Friday. I have off on Fridays and so that is my day to myself usually. Even though I usually go out and am not home, its just nice to know I can just sit around and not have anyone bothering me or being like "why aren't you dressed, its 4 o'clock". But now he will be home....i need to move out...asap!

Hmm what else...? I guess not much else has happened lately. I just wanted to be back on "the list"!

just when it seems like it is getting a little better....things have to get worse

So if you read my other post about green no longer being the new black but now black is the new black this is a little addendum. Like two weeks ago when we went out to like Brick Bar I believe, everyone was wearing green and I remember at least two situations where we went out and realized like me, paul, terry were all wearing green. Then like a few days ago we went to Brick Bar and I noticed everyone was wearing black. Its crazy....like people don't even realize how much Cosmo and fashion magazines control their life....

So I was getting fed up with Eckerd, readying myself to find a new job ...... and now they gave me back the training thing I wanted. My district manager called and said he heard that I really wanted to do it, and he really was just trying to prevent me from having to do all that extra work but if I want it the job is mine. So I took it. So I tihnk I am excited. But now I am just recommited to Eckerd which really provides me with no future. But at least I think this training thing will be good on a resume.

I am so angry all the time the last few days. Like constantly all day I am tense and angry but not at anyone in particular, just situations and it is driving me crazy. I can't sleep well, I am miserable at work and I just can't enjoy things cuz its so weighing on my mind. I wish it was something where I could just be mad at someone, like yell at them ,or not even that but just be mad at them and then get over it. I get over things really easily usually after I get really mad usually wihtout the other person even having to know I was mad. But without anyone to get mad at , I am just in this constant angry stage I can't get over....grr....

Ugh...today was a stressful day. I think I am just not in the best of places lately. It all started when the other day on the way to the Taste of Buffalo we passed the Business First offices and me and (e:maureen) remember how we were in it at one time. We were like fabulous highschool seniors with a great future. (e:maureen) now owns a condo in Boston and is working on her phD from Harvard. I live with my parents and have the same job I have had since I was 16. I make less than pretty much anyone, even people like starting at like a fast food joint. I used to think I loved my job but I don't and yet I still am doing nothing about it because I am lazy and afraid of failure. I talk about going back to school or doing something but I never do.

On the social front I have parents who tell me they get afraid I am an alcoholic and people who tell me I party too much and never can just stay in while then at the same time other people complain that I am not party enough. Noone is really ever happy. What am I to do?

It just is a lot of things are bothering me lately and then today's situation didn't help. None of this is all that serious but I guess just while watching Shakespeare it gave me time to think about all this and be upset about it.

Its weird cuz just a few days ago I felt like everything was going soo good for once. It's not like I'm mad at anyone, just myself. And now my vacation is over and it is back to work tomorrow...

So after reading cosmo on the beach the other day I found out green is no longer the new black but now black is the new black. So of course I ran home and raided my closet to get rid of all the green and burn in it and then rub myself in the black ashes it created.

After that I also decided to just go through my clothes and get rid of some. I think I got rid of like 7 tshirts, 2 pairs of pants and a pair of shorts. I even parted with 2 black tshirts (even though black is the new black) because I realized I had like i don't know, 6 or so just plain black tshirts. Its because I didn't have a black tshirt i liked for a while so then I bought everyone I saw that I liked. I know, I tihnk I need help. Anyway,that means I got rid of like 10 things, I don't remember the last time I was able to part with a double digits amount of clothing. I really have a problem. I know they say if you haven't hought aobut a piece of clothing in like 3 months you should get rid of it, but then I try it on and realize I love it all over again. But really my room is out of control with just piles of clothes that don't fit in my drawers or closet anywhere. So if anyone wants some too tight old navy jeans or way to wide cordurouy pants let me know before they are shipped off to amvets.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (E:AMANDA) (though now it is officially a day after your birthday by a few minutes). Hope you had a great day.

Everyone should come out to the Square tomorrow night and celebrate (e:amanda)'s 23rd bday and enjoy some sweet songs provided by india.arie with a definte after party to follow!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY EVERYONE

Do any of you remember the aol game slingo? It is like bingo but kinda differnet and you play against other people. Anyway, when I was younger I used to love it and otnight i rediscovered it but it has changed.

OMG it is like a dirty whorehouse dating fiesta in the slingo chat. I can't even summarize, I just have to post this convo these two people are having. I'm trying to innocently play slingo and they are foreplay. I feel like i am seeing osmething i shouldn't be. Like I am peeking in their window. I cut out the unimportant parts of the convo.

HIGH GAME SCORE TODAY IS: 38000
First achieved by SAVERLIFE (Jul 2 15:58:15).

«Sugar91387» hi all gl fr nyc
«Slushpupy2» hi gl from brooklyn
«Sugar91387» how's things
«Goggins68» real good
«Sugar91387» am 38/fem
«Sugar91387» no one talking
«Sugar91387» ladies no talking
«Goggins68» we're all getting tired
«Sugar91387» lol
«Fidlemaker» i'm tired and got a cold
«Slushpupy2» hah seriously


«Goggins68» gl all
«Sugar91387» to u 21
«Goggins68» ty
«Sugar91387» i love the top lol
«Fidlemaker» i don't feel like being on top right now
«Sugar91387» kool
«Fidlemaker» this cold has me down
«Sugar91387» poor baby
«Fidlemaker» i have a good friend from long island
«Fidlemaker» shes a cowgirl
«Sugar91387» am on long island
«Fidlemaker» she has riden in madison square garden
«Sugar91387» just like a guy comes when u dount what him 2
«Goggins68» fat chance
«Goggins68» wtg Wal


«Fidlemaker» we just can't wait
«Goggins68» gl all
«Sugar91387» lol
«Sugar91387» your age fid
«Fidlemaker» had 5 red hats
«Fidlemaker» 77
«Sugar91387» great
«Fidlemaker» dd
«Goggins68» sry
«Sugar91387» sry
«Fidlemaker» how old did you think
«Sugar91387» u sound 30
«Fidlemaker» tonight i feel 130
«Sugar91387» want me to kiss better
«Fidlemaker» yes if you would
«Sugar91387» mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
«Sugar91387» all better
«Goggins68» wtg Wal again
«Fidlemaker» i feel good most of the time
«Fidlemaker» feel better already

«Fidlemaker» i live in florida
«Sugar91387» nice wish i wa there
«Fidlemaker» have friends everywhere
«Sugar91387» kool
«Sugar91387» looks like am on top
«Sugar91387» was
«Fidlemaker» i run a country music jam and have people from all over
«Fidlemaker» how old r u sugar
«Sugar91387» 38
«Fidlemaker» oh boy you're ready
«Sugar91387» ?
«Fidlemaker» for whatever
«Sugar91387» u name it hun
«Fidlemaker» you're a good sport
«Sugar91387» all hart


«Sugar91387» u married
«Fidlemaker» i bet you are a beautiful lady
«Sugar91387» thks sweet
«Fidlemaker» the good beauty comes from within
«Sugar91387» am 5.5 132lbs 36b
«Fidlemaker» but you are 400 pounds of purty
«Sugar91387» lite brown skin
«Sugar91387» u would lovew me on top
«Fidlemaker» yes
«Sugar91387» your name am pam


«Fidlemaker» i'm always short
«Fidlemaker» i start good then at the last i fade
«Sugar91387» u like some help
«Fidlemaker» i need a lot of help

«Sugar91387» baby love u on top
«Fidlemaker» finally got full coverage

«Fidlemaker» is our other partner a girl
«Sugar91387» i nount know
«Sugar91387» hi wal
«Sugar91387» m/f?
«Sugar91387» not talking
«Sugar91387» likes us talking
«Sugar91387» baby want to chat
«Sugar91387» mmmmmmmmmmmm
«Fidlemaker» thanks
«Sugar91387» i love to do anything 4 u sweet
«Fidlemaker» you're too nice
«Fidlemaker» 1 t g

So the other day me and my former coworker Michele were on the way to our bosses grandmother's wake and we were discussing this party another coworker of ours is having on Saturday. It starts like early at 12 in the afternoon and I was saying how I want to go earlier because that night I want to go to a housewarming party (you all know which one). Michelle was like "that's weird I have a housewarming party that night too". And I thougt wow how random. Then I said it was for my friend Timika and Michelle was like no way " Jen that I work with just moved in with Timika, that is the same one I am going too". I guess (e:nejifer) works with her at Independent Health. How random. Though not so strange because it seems in Buffalo everyone knows everyone but stlil so funnily random. So I think we will go to our coworkers party and then go together to the housewarming party....so while telling this story at work......

.......Nicole was like it is so weird and was saying how a similar thing happened to her where like the people who live across from her in her new apartment building in Orchard Park knew her friend Fallon who is from Long Island. Well the really crazy part was that I relaized I too know her friend Fallon who was the perosn in the story because she was friends with my friend Yosepha....


Buffalo is really just one small town!