Ugh...today was a stressful day. I think I am just not in the best of places lately. It all started when the other day on the way to the Taste of Buffalo we passed the Business First offices and me and (e:maureen) remember how we were in it at one time. We were like fabulous highschool seniors with a great future. (e:maureen) now owns a condo in Boston and is working on her phD from Harvard. I live with my parents and have the same job I have had since I was 16. I make less than pretty much anyone, even people like starting at like a fast food joint. I used to think I loved my job but I don't and yet I still am doing nothing about it because I am lazy and afraid of failure. I talk about going back to school or doing something but I never do.

On the social front I have parents who tell me they get afraid I am an alcoholic and people who tell me I party too much and never can just stay in while then at the same time other people complain that I am not party enough. Noone is really ever happy. What am I to do?

It just is a lot of things are bothering me lately and then today's situation didn't help. None of this is all that serious but I guess just while watching Shakespeare it gave me time to think about all this and be upset about it.

Its weird cuz just a few days ago I felt like everything was going soo good for once. It's not like I'm mad at anyone, just myself. And now my vacation is over and it is back to work tomorrow...

So after reading cosmo on the beach the other day I found out green is no longer the new black but now black is the new black. So of course I ran home and raided my closet to get rid of all the green and burn in it and then rub myself in the black ashes it created.

After that I also decided to just go through my clothes and get rid of some. I think I got rid of like 7 tshirts, 2 pairs of pants and a pair of shorts. I even parted with 2 black tshirts (even though black is the new black) because I realized I had like i don't know, 6 or so just plain black tshirts. Its because I didn't have a black tshirt i liked for a while so then I bought everyone I saw that I liked. I know, I tihnk I need help. Anyway,that means I got rid of like 10 things, I don't remember the last time I was able to part with a double digits amount of clothing. I really have a problem. I know they say if you haven't hought aobut a piece of clothing in like 3 months you should get rid of it, but then I try it on and realize I love it all over again. But really my room is out of control with just piles of clothes that don't fit in my drawers or closet anywhere. So if anyone wants some too tight old navy jeans or way to wide cordurouy pants let me know before they are shipped off to amvets.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (E:AMANDA) (though now it is officially a day after your birthday by a few minutes). Hope you had a great day.

Everyone should come out to the Square tomorrow night and celebrate (e:amanda)'s 23rd bday and enjoy some sweet songs provided by india.arie with a definte after party to follow!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY EVERYONE

Do any of you remember the aol game slingo? It is like bingo but kinda differnet and you play against other people. Anyway, when I was younger I used to love it and otnight i rediscovered it but it has changed.

OMG it is like a dirty whorehouse dating fiesta in the slingo chat. I can't even summarize, I just have to post this convo these two people are having. I'm trying to innocently play slingo and they are foreplay. I feel like i am seeing osmething i shouldn't be. Like I am peeking in their window. I cut out the unimportant parts of the convo.

HIGH GAME SCORE TODAY IS: 38000
First achieved by SAVERLIFE (Jul 2 15:58:15).

«Sugar91387» hi all gl fr nyc
«Slushpupy2» hi gl from brooklyn
«Sugar91387» how's things
«Goggins68» real good
«Sugar91387» am 38/fem
«Sugar91387» no one talking
«Sugar91387» ladies no talking
«Goggins68» we're all getting tired
«Sugar91387» lol
«Fidlemaker» i'm tired and got a cold
«Slushpupy2» hah seriously


«Goggins68» gl all
«Sugar91387» to u 21
«Goggins68» ty
«Sugar91387» i love the top lol
«Fidlemaker» i don't feel like being on top right now
«Sugar91387» kool
«Fidlemaker» this cold has me down
«Sugar91387» poor baby
«Fidlemaker» i have a good friend from long island
«Fidlemaker» shes a cowgirl
«Sugar91387» am on long island
«Fidlemaker» she has riden in madison square garden
«Sugar91387» just like a guy comes when u dount what him 2
«Goggins68» fat chance
«Goggins68» wtg Wal


«Fidlemaker» we just can't wait
«Goggins68» gl all
«Sugar91387» lol
«Sugar91387» your age fid
«Fidlemaker» had 5 red hats
«Fidlemaker» 77
«Sugar91387» great
«Fidlemaker» dd
«Goggins68» sry
«Sugar91387» sry
«Fidlemaker» how old did you think
«Sugar91387» u sound 30
«Fidlemaker» tonight i feel 130
«Sugar91387» want me to kiss better
«Fidlemaker» yes if you would
«Sugar91387» mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
«Sugar91387» all better
«Goggins68» wtg Wal again
«Fidlemaker» i feel good most of the time
«Fidlemaker» feel better already

«Fidlemaker» i live in florida
«Sugar91387» nice wish i wa there
«Fidlemaker» have friends everywhere
«Sugar91387» kool
«Sugar91387» looks like am on top
«Sugar91387» was
«Fidlemaker» i run a country music jam and have people from all over
«Fidlemaker» how old r u sugar
«Sugar91387» 38
«Fidlemaker» oh boy you're ready
«Sugar91387» ?
«Fidlemaker» for whatever
«Sugar91387» u name it hun
«Fidlemaker» you're a good sport
«Sugar91387» all hart


«Sugar91387» u married
«Fidlemaker» i bet you are a beautiful lady
«Sugar91387» thks sweet
«Fidlemaker» the good beauty comes from within
«Sugar91387» am 5.5 132lbs 36b
«Fidlemaker» but you are 400 pounds of purty
«Sugar91387» lite brown skin
«Sugar91387» u would lovew me on top
«Fidlemaker» yes
«Sugar91387» your name am pam


«Fidlemaker» i'm always short
«Fidlemaker» i start good then at the last i fade
«Sugar91387» u like some help
«Fidlemaker» i need a lot of help

«Sugar91387» baby love u on top
«Fidlemaker» finally got full coverage

«Fidlemaker» is our other partner a girl
«Sugar91387» i nount know
«Sugar91387» hi wal
«Sugar91387» m/f?
«Sugar91387» not talking
«Sugar91387» likes us talking
«Sugar91387» baby want to chat
«Sugar91387» mmmmmmmmmmmm
«Fidlemaker» thanks
«Sugar91387» i love to do anything 4 u sweet
«Fidlemaker» you're too nice
«Fidlemaker» 1 t g

So the other day me and my former coworker Michele were on the way to our bosses grandmother's wake and we were discussing this party another coworker of ours is having on Saturday. It starts like early at 12 in the afternoon and I was saying how I want to go earlier because that night I want to go to a housewarming party (you all know which one). Michelle was like "that's weird I have a housewarming party that night too". And I thougt wow how random. Then I said it was for my friend Timika and Michelle was like no way " Jen that I work with just moved in with Timika, that is the same one I am going too". I guess (e:nejifer) works with her at Independent Health. How random. Though not so strange because it seems in Buffalo everyone knows everyone but stlil so funnily random. So I think we will go to our coworkers party and then go together to the housewarming party....so while telling this story at work......

.......Nicole was like it is so weird and was saying how a similar thing happened to her where like the people who live across from her in her new apartment building in Orchard Park knew her friend Fallon who is from Long Island. Well the really crazy part was that I relaized I too know her friend Fallon who was the perosn in the story because she was friends with my friend Yosepha....


Buffalo is really just one small town!

FYI, don't put pop rocks in your mouth and then do a shot. At least not of vodka but I can't imagine anything would be good. Cuz we all know a point of a shot is for it to go right down. Well you see the pop rocks absorb the shot and then cement it to your tongue, teeth, cheeks, and mouth in general. Quite disgusting having it linger and be stuck in your mouth. Me and (e:jill) learned this lesson the hard way at the Pink last night.

Went on my first swim of the summer yesterday! The first swim is always so nice! My parents supposedly love their garden and so never got a pool. I think that is stupid, I would be so much hotter and tanner if I had a pool to float around and drink in.

This week at work has been so high stress. So many problems and so not enough people working. I have never been so glad to be done for the week. And to top it all off, they took away my training position and trip to Rhode Island....my district manager said he was doing me a favor by having someone else do it..and he said my store couldn't handle losing me as much as hers could... I odn' tknow...it pisses me off...i need a new job!

People:
1. How did you find out about/why did you become of estrip?
I am one of the originals because my amazing web brother , i mean web designing brother created this crazy place.

2. How "out" are you about having a publicly accessible online journal. Do your friends know? Does your family know? Do your co-workers know? Does your boss know? Do you use your real name? Do you use your real photo? A lot of people know though I don't htink people from work read it a lot and i don't' tlak about it a lto there. Now customers are starting to notice my bumper sticker, don't love hat. since my brother invented this place, my family knows, though i'm not sure they don't check it often.

3. How many epeeps have you met real life? so many, i am unsure, prolly 50ish

4. How has estrip changed the way that you meet people, on and/or off line?
I have met many people I never would have met but I haven't changed in that I still ususally require people to come up to me even if I recognize them because I am afraid they won't recognize me.

5. How has estrip affected you love life?
no, not relaly, maybe it has made it more public

6. How many of your friends have joined estrip because of your influence?
like 5ish

7. Are you from Buffalo/do you live in Buffalo?
yes, well kenmore

Equipment:
1. What type of hardware or software purchases have you made as a result of using estrip? i don't think any

2. Have you used the mobile version of estrip? Why or why not?
yeah whne i had the web on my phone for free, also have used it numerous times on (e:paul)'s phone
Lifestyle:
1. In what way has estrip changed your Internet surfings habits? Describe the amount of time you spend on estrip, when you use it and about how long?

I guess I use estrip more now that we have dsl. I check it many more times just like when I have a spare minute. I guess it has become like something I always check when I am online so it has increased my internt habits.

1a. How many journals do you usually read per day?
Usually everyone who has updated but a lot of them I just skim real quick. I don't often read the news stories people post, just their commentary.

2. In what ways has estrip changed the way you perceive your local community?
I don't think it really has that much. I guess it shows how lots of different kinds of people can get along but I think I already knew that.

3. How has journaling about your life affected the way you spend your free time?
Sometimes while something is happening I start to tihnk, how will I write aobut tihs ro when will I write about this. It becomes mroe about the story.

4. Has estrip changed your living situation in any way?
nope, still ath ome

5. Do you find that you mediate/document more of your experiences now that you share them with others?
In some ways yes, in some ways no. LIke I have always been a hardcore documenter so I always was big into pictures, videos, writing down things that happpened. I guess with estrip I probably might record smaller events that may have passed by otherwise. In other ways it almost has made me record less becasue I figure oh someone else will mark it down. LIke I take way less pictures because I figures someone else will and will post them so I don't need to. I miss that and actually that is a recent goal of mine is to take more of my own pictures at events.

6. Has publishing on estrip affected the way that write?
I might have gotten an overall more relaxed kind of writing, I think that is due to the internet in general though and maybe estrip in particular.

7. Do you have other online journals? If so, with what service and has estrip affected your usage of that journal?
no

8. Have you ever gotten in trouble for using estrip at work?
no, except with the bumper sticker on my car lots of customers ask what kind of strip club I am advertising for, so that is awkward cuz I don't at the same time relaly want some of my customers to check out my online journal so I don't relaly want to say what it is.

9. If you have stopped using estrip, why?
nopei will never stop