It is ridiculous how much power you have over me. How much you affect my mood. How much you can affect if I will have a good or bad day. Not necessarily talking to you, just thinking about it. You don't even know or realize I'm sure. There's no way you could. We don't often talk but somehow you still affect me so much. In a different way than anyone else ever has. I don't even really understand it or why it is this way. It's so much different than anything else in my life and I don't mean in a like so much more deep or meaningful or strong just completely different. I truly don't understand it. What is it about you that intrigues me in such an odd way. I just feel like their is potential there, potential to be better friends than we've become maybe? Everyone assumes I want something else, but I don't. I honestly don't. It's not an attraction like that, although for fleeting moments here and there I think it is. But that is just because I can't categorize it any other way. But it's not that. I just want your friendship, but then it is so weird, this odd extra strong desire for your friendship. It will likely never happen. I can't imagine it will, not anymore. At one time maybe, but now it seems less and less likely all the time. I never really have had a hard time making friends or becoming clolser with people I wanted to get to know, but somehow this time it doesn't work. I just can't make that next step for some reason. We're not much alike or similar I guess in many ways, but in my mind you know everything I want to talk about, and a lot of you is what I wish I was more like. You seem like you would be able to provide a perspective I am lacking in my life. You seem like the person I need or want just to talk to. You likely would not even know this is about you if you read this, even though I doubt you do. I don't know, maybe someday we'll be better friends. Or maybe I've already built it up to much in my head. Maybe you can never be the friend I feel you would be and so I am just setting myself up for dissapointment. But for some reason I don't think so.

Did anyone notice that when you hold the mouse over someone's name in the last 12 or expanded journal list it says the title of their last entry? Is that new? Or has that been there all along and I have just been in the dark about it? Either way, what a great feature. Don't you think? It makes reading so much easier and manageable.

I just drove by Coffee & and there were news cameras outside and it was completely burned down. The buidling was still there but it looked pretty intensively burned? Anyone know what happened? Could it be arson from the competitors (spot or starbucks perhaps)? How sad, I wonder if they will resbuild and reopen!

I am by no means a baseball fan but this series has sucked me in. It seems to matter to everyone in the world so I decided to watch last night and see what all the big deal was and then I got sucked in...oh no, I don't need another addiction.

So really the trachtenber family trio or whatever they are called are my favorite thing ever. [inlink]jill,148[/inlink]
Well I have never heard of them but since I have they seriously are everythign I dream to be, but can I go see them tomorrow night? Of course not! I have to work and noone can work for me so I want everyone else to go to the show an enjoy it and let me know how amazing it is. Too bad though that they stole my plan (ok it wasn't my plan til i heard they did it but I do like making slideshows of people I don't know and putting it to music). Maybe I can join them!! YES YES YES, that is what I will do.

Hmm my first post on elmwoodstrip.org now that it has moved servers. First off has anyone noticed that in the Buffalo News all the letters to the editor about Pano's that say they should just knock down the building come from people living in Orchard Park and Lancaster? Oh yes those are the places we should look to for how to preserve architecture. They think that any expansion is good expansion and don't understand the charm that is Elmwood. What is charm when you can have a strip mall?

Secondly, Matt, (e:beast) mom just wrote a children's book and is sending it around. Maybe you should talk to her about it or something or you could collaborate or something. I don't know, just an idea.

Thirdly is my more venting, blogging. I am so confused lately about who I am. Who am I? Like where am I going in life, what do i like, what don't I like, what am I good at, who are my best friends, will I ever make something happen in my life. I don' t know, it seems like everytime I am ready to accept something and be like ok, that's fine, then something else comes up and it changes my mind again. I don't know. I just want to be like "ok this is what is going on" but I feel like my life and stuff is always in flux. I don't know, why can't I just decide. Could anyone else alert me to who I am? Thanks. I don't know, I just feel so lost lately.

I KNOW IT IS ALMOST THE END OF THE DAY BUT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH, I HOPE IT IS GREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!!!

I remember back in the day when estrip was mainly populated by people I knew outside of the estrip online world, some I met through the site, others I had known for long time. These were the days when the most posted were Keith, Robin, Jill, DrChlorine and Rachel among others. Now it is a estrip world more often populated with Springfaeries (who I now know), Maidencateyes, Metalpeter, Jason and others I don't really know. It makes it a very different thing. Not in a good or bad way just different. WIthout knowing the people, it is sometimes more fun to picutre what they are like but at the same time I don't necessarily feel the connection to what they write becuase I can not relate it to a person.

On another note, I would love to be on the Real World in Buffalo, or anywhere really for that matter!!!

SO MANY BIRTHDAYS!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAMILLE AND TINA!! I HOPE THEY ARE AMAZING AND I WILL SEE Y'ALL LATER FOR SOME MAJOR BIRTHDAY PARTYING!!!!

Phew, me, Jill, Stephanie and Justin got 12 years worth of pentup Real World chatter done today at Spot. We seriously talked Real World with some Road Rules and Challenges thrown in for like an hour. It was mucho fun. Does anyone else find they have to watch a Real World marathon if it is on, even if you have already seen all the episodes, even if it means not leaving the couch for 15 hours straight, even if it means not driving your wife who is in labor the hospital, cuz I know I do love it that much. Seriously if I even sort of catch a glance of one episdoe I am drawn in for the entire day of the marathon. They continue the episodes so seamlessly without the credits that their is no time to get up or change the channel. Oh I love them so! I'm glad there are at least 3 other people who feel the same way. I can't wait for the next marathon, marathon party anyone?