My right ear has been ringing nonstop for about a month now. I was convinced I had a wax build up but the audiologist said no.... So now I am convinced I am going completely deaf in that ear. Even if I am losing my hearing, the ringing will remain. There is no known cause or cure for tinnitus.

This may be the beginning of the end for me... Because its making me so freaking crazy.

i swear women are just mean to each other... i love working at the golf club but i think i am in the midst of some crazy weird backstabbing.

there's this one chick that straight up won't say hello to me, and this other one who loves to talk shiz behind my back. these people need to get a life... i won't be working there long and i am in no way a threat to them. i don't get why women have to be jealous or vicious. ok, jealousy i get... but i give credit where it's due. an attractive, accomplished, or intelligent woman deserves credit and there's some bad chicks at work. this other new girl is basically the barbie at work and she gets the best shifts and makes the most tips and everyone loves her. i didn't like her for a day because i assumed she doesn't care for me. but, from what i know now, she seems like a hard-working, good person.

i wish that these people who love to hate could see that it's just a waste of time. i feel like team work and support would just make it a better place and everyone would benefit. nobody needs to be catty and stealing customers or making up false stories about other people's character or dating lives. maybe that's the difference between educated and ignorant people.

anyway, i'm proud that i just let it go and haven't fed into the drama. i just keep my head high and do my best. what is sad, is that some of these people have young daughters. would they want their child subjected to this kind of harassment? i think not.

on a side note... pro shop boy asked me out about 20 times and i thought it was just to be friends. but apparently, i have agreed to a date and then he proceeded to tell everyone that we are dating. great. i need to not be so naive about this and just assume that any man that asks me to partake in an activity that involves going somewhere with food or drinks is a date.

and now we must move on to the real issue. does age matter when it comes to dating? and furthermore, can i be a cougar? i think the answer is yes, and yes. is it a classy choice? probably not, but i don't care. young hottie guys shouldn't be so free to tell others they think i'm hot because then i will just go with it... because what isn't better than a hot young guy who has a great attitude and little life knowledge. i did just earn a teaching degree...

i miss you buffalo, and those silly amazingly cute babes, but now that i am actually working for the first time in two years, it's hard not to be hoarding all my cash and attempting to save as much as possible while i figure out where this next chapter of life leads me.

i actually miss school and have been kinda down because i feel like i have all of this potential and zero clue how to proceed at this point. i attended a career fair last week, and those events are just the worst. i don't like crowds and that was seriously intense. so, i made an appointment with career services for tomorrow to gain some guidance and advice on my resume and job search!

and if you are still reading, i have made it two months with my new year's resolution which was to recycle... and i have been doing an excellent job thus far. although, someone told me the other day that it is bad to recycle plastic because of the chemicals is releases.... not sure i believe this.

I'm obsessed with Instagram and this new app imadeface....


I woke up probably 5 times last night and has several nightmares...

-I was put in jail for driving a boat wrong and was refused a lawyer.

-I stole someone's car and was living in their house... Ok that dream was kinda fun

-A plane crashed off the beach where I was on vaca with some chick from basketball wives

I can't remember the other ones...


I made cartoons of (e:Paul) (e:hodown) Zooey and myself.... I think (e:terry) needs one too now.


I'm making really good money at the golf club and hopefully I can visit at the end of March... I've been so good about not spending money the past few weeks... Which is probably why I spend my free time making cartoon faces and looking at Instagram photos.

My mother and auntie helped me with a resume overhaul yesterday. For a now educated person, I am surprised how little I knew about how to create the best resume... I have a career fair this Wednesday and I'm nervous and excited to put my professional self out there. I have an awesome Jackie O style jacket I can't wait to wear for the first time. My internship doing professional wardrobing really prepared me with knowledge of how to dress for interviews and such!

I'm obsessed with Instagram and this new app imadeface....


I woke up probably 5 times last night and has several nightmares...

-I was put in jail for driving a boat wrong and was refused a lawyer.

-I stole someone's car and was living in their house... Ok that dream was kinda fun

-A plane crashed off the beach where I was on vaca with some chick from basketball wives

I can't remember the other ones...


I made cartoons of (e:Paul) (e:hodown) Zooey and myself.... I think (e:terry) needs one too now.


I'm making really good money at the golf club and hopefully I can visit at the end of March... I've been so good about not spending money the past few weeks... Which is probably why I spend my free time making cartoon faces and looking at Instagram photos.

My mother and auntie helped me with a resume overhaul yesterday. For a now educated person, I am surprised how little I knew about how to create the best resume... I have a career fair this Wednesday and I'm nervous and excited to put my professional self out there. I have an awesome Jackie O style jacket I can't wait to wear for the first time. My internship doing professional wardrobing really prepared me with knowledge of how to dress for interviews and such!

I was serving drinks to this man last night who told he had a wife and a girlfriend and they both know about each other. He also proceeded to inform me that his life is a constant vacay and he loves talking to his shrink because he feels like a teenager. Then I was encouraged to over serve he as his friend and then to drove back to their resort from the golf club. I might also mention his terrible and obvious toupee and glass eye....


Serving is just never a full moment.


This was all after being called into the gm's office o be accused of intentionally overcharging someone 5 days before. At the halfway house(between first an second portion of golf course), I have a tally sheet and a calculator to add up charges... So it's pretty easy to make a mistake. But, I am just going to have to make perfect calculations because getting a pos system is so out of the question.... Just like an actual functioning outside bar is our of the question. Our equipment and functionality is probably less so than my home kitchen. Anyway.... We are in season and tips can be good.


I think the time has come to move on while I look for a career... Career fair next week!!!!

That working in food ad beverage makes you want only to be served when you are not working.

The thought of preparing something or serving something for myself or another is terrible... I actually even want it brought to me... I can or muster the strength to drive to pick up anything.

It's becoming an issue...


I need to start making this much and more a day. Students loans are....

But watch urself... Paper planes n St. Germaine


I'm now on the 4th Harry/Gary Potter book and I live wizards more than ever. I'm just a muggle though...


Random pHOtos and Zooeys birthday presents... I also sent her an annoying singing card. No four year old's birthday is complete without cartoon voices singing you happy birthday!

The winter seems to be gettin real cold... Physically and emotionally. Maybe we all need a bit more care and tenseness???

My story right now right now is that I love the Garry Potter Series. I realize I am clearly more than a decade late on this, however it is surprisingly well written and quite enjoyable. My mother is a wizard.. She loves to wear robes and that fact makes me realize why it all makes sense.

I bought 5 books of the series at the library for $6.25 and I am seriously so exited about that purchase. It brings hours of entertainment an happiness for me, at a very low cost.

I served this famous god guy drinks the other day without even knowing. I just remembered thinking what a nice guy he seemed like, and that he had a cool accent... Apparently he flew in in his private jet. Private jets interest me more than hold does...

Also apparently ended up dating another jerk... Even after we had a serious discussion about terms of dating and agreed upon them. I believe I am currently getting the silent treatment, and my only defense is to give what I receive... Silence.

I so hope the course gets busy soon because I had a taste of some nice tip money the other day and it felt good... Nothin like a pocket full of ones!!! I would prefer to get tipped in bands but a golf course is not the place for that.

It's been grey here lately... Reminds me of the dirty buff.

I served this famous god guy drinks the other day without even knowing. I just remembered thinking what a nice guy he seemed like, and that he had a cool accent... Apparently he flew in in his private jet. Private jets interest me more than hold does...

Also apparently ended up dating another jerk... Even after we had a serious discussion about terms of dating and agreed upon them. I believe I am currently getting the silent treatment, and my only defense is to give what I receive... Silence.

I so hope the course gets busy soon because I had a taste of some nice tip money the other day and it felt good... Nothin like a pocket full of ones!!! I would prefer to get tipped in bands but a golf course is not the place for that.

It's been grey here lately... Reminds me of the dirty buff.