Posts from February 2011

My mom had a surprise for me the other night and it was a book with that title. She cracks me up.

She always asking how the gays are. Its cute she used to be weird about it but she really sees they are my boys for life and they really helped me get through the worst times. I forced @terry to stay up with me as I cried and played Nintendo for about two months back in the day. And @paul, well he's my food buddy and always up for eating something interesting and delish. e: Matthew is the shy artist who appreciates beauty like me and @mike is just the super fun witty socialite!


Is it odd most of my friends are guys and gay? I don't care because they are awesome and although they live so far now when I see them its always just the same...



went out dancing with my girls last night and the club became so crowded with so many nonclassy creepy people. I love going out dancing but some people should not participate in the dancing and just watch. Men also should not be making gross faces and grabbing when they don't even know you. what ever happened to a handshake and hello? I don't go out to meet dudes I just love being dressed up and dancing and being fun...


So much hw today and I'm thirsty and dying for gingerale and if you're reading and if live in scottsdale will you please bring me some? I want a concierge service.



One last thing... People still calling me khloe, as in the kardashian girl. I cut my hair... I thought that would help. Nope. Gotta start wearing my glasses out again. My friends boyfriend had a friend who liked me and was calling me khloe, what the heck?!

its not hard to see I'm a pretty whiny spoiled person. I complain, I can be lazy and selfish and I often have a pessimistic view of things that should be fun.

But everybody has their faults and its never to late to strive to be better.


After numerous comments from numerous people about my attitude I suppose its time to work on that. I should be grateful for what I have and not expect other people to supplement what I don't have because I'm capable of doing this myself.


As for blogging about others and my feelings I have zero regrets about what I say. I'm honest and this is my way of getting things out.


Anyway I'm dead tired. Just hiked a tough mountain in the rain wind and hail. It was frezzing and I feel and hurt myself a few times but I just kept going. No tears and no complaining. That's who I want to be, not G.I. Jane but just a stronger me who uses my strength as an asset instead of making excuses.


I lost some friends this week, but from that I learned I should keep some things sacred. I also learned that true friends are willing to forgive. So with two lost friendships I was able to learn from it and repair one which I ignored for sometime.


I do think life is mysterious and odd and painful but at the same time if we can find joy in the tiniest things that's what keeps us human.

So I'm working on being more tough... Was first told by my mother I need to toughen up and now it seems to be resonating in my ears still from her and others time. As my late grandmother would say, "its time, its time."


Gonna nap before a girls night out. Maybe ill hike the grand canyon this summer...

Basically I'm not allowed to live in my mother's house anymore because I'm messy. I NEVER leave a spec of mess around the house, its just my room and bathroom. I have so many of the following: shoes, clothes, jewelry, books, scarves, makeup, beauty products and treatments, hair products... Art supplies, and I'm sure there's more.


I shouldn't live with my mother anyway so I'm moving out this summer. She's tired of telling me to be clean and neat and honestly that aint gonna change til I settle dopwn and have someone to clean for. Ill be neat and clean if I'm taking care of someone but for just me? I honestly don't even know how I have time to sleep I am so busy so things like laundry and dusting barely enter my mind.


So this adult child must move out.



On another note I'm pretty sure I have all As in my classes and that's amazing and its so much work I get stressed and can't sleep. I'm actually losing weight because I'm stressed and get nauseous or plain forget to eat or don't have time like yesterday. I don't condone this but I have tons of energy and then when I do eat its usually super healthy like a protein bar or banana or yogurt.



Anyway, my addiction to socializing and fun needs to be toned down so I make more time to do laundry and just relax because at this pace I'm gonna lose my mind soon.


Can't wait for blo! The whole fam is gonna be there for st pattys day!

I miss my mom and we live in the same house.

The last time I saw her for anything more than a hi and bye was last Saturday. We went hiking with my cousin and the whole time we fought and she drove me crazy.

Anyway, the great thing about us is our arguments last about 10 minutes.

I do really miss her though and she's like my bff and the top VIP in my life so I have decided next weekend we are going to have a special adventure day.


:o) spa tomorrow...ahhhh! I need this so badly.

Like woah! Just went in to pick up my hearings aids and its loud!

I mean seriously its loud and I want to jump for joy.


To all of you who think you can say and do things because I am deaf, think again... My senses are in check.


The best part? I purchased them for the bargain price of 25 bucks. Insurance pays!



Um most joyful moment in a while.

i'm paying 5 grand for this semester at asu and i have to pay everytime i want to print a paper?

to top that off i actually can't print at all because myasu is down and i can't add money to my account...

so i can't hand in my assignment that is due today... so i will have to go to kinko's or something. i need a working printer.

i hate paper, why do we even use printers anymore? it's such a waste.

some people completely hate theirs, others are indifferent or just become strangers. my family has never been that way.

you think, when you have your own family it will all be different and things will be nice and cozy.

the truth is, no matter how perfect and amazing someone else's family seems, no family is perfect.

my little cousin is going through a rough time right now. she's never had a solid parental influence. she does however have wealthy grandparents who have half raised her which definitely eased some things a bit. at the same time, not having a parent who is a role-model must be so difficult. i can't imagine not having my mother, because i know no matter what she is there to help and i trust her because she's a stable strong level-headed woman.

my cousin decided to leave az and go back to ny because it's stressful here. her grandpa has cancer again and her grandmother was recently diagnosed with lupus, plus her father isn't doing much with himself and she is growing to resent him as well as her mother whom she hardly ever sees and lives in oregon now.

i kinda want to hug her and beg her not to go because we are so close and she's like my little sister and i will really miss her especially since my brother and sister are so far away and it's really lonely sometimes.

why is it that i really never want to move back to ny but most of the people i love are there? i hate you nys, stop snatching my peoples up.

i not so secretly hope my cousin hates brockport and she comes running for the hills. fountain hills.

dear blog,

i have one wish. please make the birds stop flying against the back windows of my house. after they hit the glass they seize for a few minutes and die, and if i have to deal with anymore birds guts i may vomit, pass out and or cry for a long time.

on a better note, i absolutely love my teaching internship and i seriously wish i could go everyday. those kids are so cute and such hard workers, not to mention hilarious and charming.

I miss little Zooey so much! What I would give to have a cuddle with that precious cutie right now. She is 2 yrs old today, and its crazy to think she wasn't around 2 yrs ago. Can't imagine my life without her.

I wish my brother and sister in law would call and skype more and be more proactive about visits and holidays... Its much more fun with Zooey around!

Don't worry little Zooey I will be there soon to shower you with gifts and love, Aunt Sarah loves you very much!

my little cousin is leaving me to move back to rochester... you couldn't pay me to move back east. i really miss my friends and brother and sister and adorable niece but that cold weather keeps me in the warm sunshineyness...

i remember wanting a little sister so bad when i was a child but i have a mean mother and she refused to give me one. my cousin is like the best little sister you could ask for. she's completely adorable, funny, gorgeous, kind, generous and caring. i just want to squish her to pieces so then she can't leave. :o(

i confess, i absolutely could not stand Aubrey when she was just a lil chitlin and her divalike ways just infuriated me. she would never eat her food, always had to sit in the front seat and had to have things her way. wow, she sounds just like me, except i always ate my food and then other people's food as well. i never realized that she idolized me, which is so cute. i remember thinking my older sister was the coolest ever and it's a pretty awesome feeling knowing someone thinks you're the best.

she has grown into quite the young lady and i'll miss having someone to be crazy around. we probably spend about 90% of our time together being complete idiots and laughing nonstop.

i guess nys will be seeing even more of me in the future.

here she is wearing my glasses.

I'm seriously hoping next week is better than this week has been.

My loans have still not gone through and I'm literally down to my last dime. I would have never gotten this stupid diamond in my nose if I realized that my loans wouldn't go through until I'd been in school nearly a month.

To top things off my hearing aids are on back order and I can't hear a damn thing in class. People whisper shit to me all the time. I can't hear whispers. It all makes me want to just talk to no one.


Its tiring and frustrating having to constantly tell people to speak up and then to have them laugh because they think it is funny that I miss out on nearly half of all of conversations. It makes me want to crawl under a rock and not come out until I get the damn things and my money comes through.


I still have more books to buy... I'm not big on crying anymore but I'm just having such a bad week that I'm holding them back.

:o( next week will be better.