Posts from February 2011

Basically I'm not allowed to live in my mother's house anymore because I'm messy. I NEVER leave a spec of mess around the house, its just my room and bathroom. I have so many of the following: shoes, clothes, jewelry, books, scarves, makeup, beauty products and treatments, hair products... Art supplies, and I'm sure there's more.


I shouldn't live with my mother anyway so I'm moving out this summer. She's tired of telling me to be clean and neat and honestly that aint gonna change til I settle dopwn and have someone to clean for. Ill be neat and clean if I'm taking care of someone but for just me? I honestly don't even know how I have time to sleep I am so busy so things like laundry and dusting barely enter my mind.


So this adult child must move out.



On another note I'm pretty sure I have all As in my classes and that's amazing and its so much work I get stressed and can't sleep. I'm actually losing weight because I'm stressed and get nauseous or plain forget to eat or don't have time like yesterday. I don't condone this but I have tons of energy and then when I do eat its usually super healthy like a protein bar or banana or yogurt.



Anyway, my addiction to socializing and fun needs to be toned down so I make more time to do laundry and just relax because at this pace I'm gonna lose my mind soon.


Can't wait for blo! The whole fam is gonna be there for st pattys day!

I miss my mom and we live in the same house.

The last time I saw her for anything more than a hi and bye was last Saturday. We went hiking with my cousin and the whole time we fought and she drove me crazy.

Anyway, the great thing about us is our arguments last about 10 minutes.

I do really miss her though and she's like my bff and the top VIP in my life so I have decided next weekend we are going to have a special adventure day.


:o) spa tomorrow...ahhhh! I need this so badly.

Like woah! Just went in to pick up my hearings aids and its loud!

I mean seriously its loud and I want to jump for joy.


To all of you who think you can say and do things because I am deaf, think again... My senses are in check.


The best part? I purchased them for the bargain price of 25 bucks. Insurance pays!



Um most joyful moment in a while.

i'm paying 5 grand for this semester at asu and i have to pay everytime i want to print a paper?

to top that off i actually can't print at all because myasu is down and i can't add money to my account...

so i can't hand in my assignment that is due today... so i will have to go to kinko's or something. i need a working printer.

i hate paper, why do we even use printers anymore? it's such a waste.

some people completely hate theirs, others are indifferent or just become strangers. my family has never been that way.

you think, when you have your own family it will all be different and things will be nice and cozy.

the truth is, no matter how perfect and amazing someone else's family seems, no family is perfect.

my little cousin is going through a rough time right now. she's never had a solid parental influence. she does however have wealthy grandparents who have half raised her which definitely eased some things a bit. at the same time, not having a parent who is a role-model must be so difficult. i can't imagine not having my mother, because i know no matter what she is there to help and i trust her because she's a stable strong level-headed woman.

my cousin decided to leave az and go back to ny because it's stressful here. her grandpa has cancer again and her grandmother was recently diagnosed with lupus, plus her father isn't doing much with himself and she is growing to resent him as well as her mother whom she hardly ever sees and lives in oregon now.

i kinda want to hug her and beg her not to go because we are so close and she's like my little sister and i will really miss her especially since my brother and sister are so far away and it's really lonely sometimes.

why is it that i really never want to move back to ny but most of the people i love are there? i hate you nys, stop snatching my peoples up.

i not so secretly hope my cousin hates brockport and she comes running for the hills. fountain hills.

dear blog,

i have one wish. please make the birds stop flying against the back windows of my house. after they hit the glass they seize for a few minutes and die, and if i have to deal with anymore birds guts i may vomit, pass out and or cry for a long time.

on a better note, i absolutely love my teaching internship and i seriously wish i could go everyday. those kids are so cute and such hard workers, not to mention hilarious and charming.

I miss little Zooey so much! What I would give to have a cuddle with that precious cutie right now. She is 2 yrs old today, and its crazy to think she wasn't around 2 yrs ago. Can't imagine my life without her.

I wish my brother and sister in law would call and skype more and be more proactive about visits and holidays... Its much more fun with Zooey around!

Don't worry little Zooey I will be there soon to shower you with gifts and love, Aunt Sarah loves you very much!

my little cousin is leaving me to move back to rochester... you couldn't pay me to move back east. i really miss my friends and brother and sister and adorable niece but that cold weather keeps me in the warm sunshineyness...

i remember wanting a little sister so bad when i was a child but i have a mean mother and she refused to give me one. my cousin is like the best little sister you could ask for. she's completely adorable, funny, gorgeous, kind, generous and caring. i just want to squish her to pieces so then she can't leave. :o(

i confess, i absolutely could not stand Aubrey when she was just a lil chitlin and her divalike ways just infuriated me. she would never eat her food, always had to sit in the front seat and had to have things her way. wow, she sounds just like me, except i always ate my food and then other people's food as well. i never realized that she idolized me, which is so cute. i remember thinking my older sister was the coolest ever and it's a pretty awesome feeling knowing someone thinks you're the best.

she has grown into quite the young lady and i'll miss having someone to be crazy around. we probably spend about 90% of our time together being complete idiots and laughing nonstop.

i guess nys will be seeing even more of me in the future.

here she is wearing my glasses.

I'm seriously hoping next week is better than this week has been.

My loans have still not gone through and I'm literally down to my last dime. I would have never gotten this stupid diamond in my nose if I realized that my loans wouldn't go through until I'd been in school nearly a month.

To top things off my hearing aids are on back order and I can't hear a damn thing in class. People whisper shit to me all the time. I can't hear whispers. It all makes me want to just talk to no one.


Its tiring and frustrating having to constantly tell people to speak up and then to have them laugh because they think it is funny that I miss out on nearly half of all of conversations. It makes me want to crawl under a rock and not come out until I get the damn things and my money comes through.


I still have more books to buy... I'm not big on crying anymore but I'm just having such a bad week that I'm holding them back.

:o( next week will be better.

The elder members appear to have some issues. I feel they are racist and I hate it. Its embarrassing to me... Especially considering the fact that I am of mixed race.

I will not be going to blo next weekend, everything is messed up with school right now...

I swear the one time I do things right... The outcome is unfavorable.

I'm really sad I can't visit but my brother isn't even returning my calls and I don't know if I would be able to see my niece. I'm so tired of stressful family stuff... Its mostly my brother and it just makes me so sad we can't ever have a nice holiday because he's there and we all fight or he's gone and my mom is sad. Now with the baby I just feel like he doesn't want us around her and she's the apple of my eye and I miss her so much.


My health insurance is actually paying for my hearing aids and I'm wondering where the h they are. I can't hear anything in class and I basically sit and don't talk to anyone because I can never hear.


Both of these things combined are making it hard for me not to turn into a pile of mush.



I will be visiting blo and have hearing aids by mid March or else. :o(