Posts from February 2011

some people completely hate theirs, others are indifferent or just become strangers. my family has never been that way.

you think, when you have your own family it will all be different and things will be nice and cozy.

the truth is, no matter how perfect and amazing someone else's family seems, no family is perfect.

my little cousin is going through a rough time right now. she's never had a solid parental influence. she does however have wealthy grandparents who have half raised her which definitely eased some things a bit. at the same time, not having a parent who is a role-model must be so difficult. i can't imagine not having my mother, because i know no matter what she is there to help and i trust her because she's a stable strong level-headed woman.

my cousin decided to leave az and go back to ny because it's stressful here. her grandpa has cancer again and her grandmother was recently diagnosed with lupus, plus her father isn't doing much with himself and she is growing to resent him as well as her mother whom she hardly ever sees and lives in oregon now.

i kinda want to hug her and beg her not to go because we are so close and she's like my little sister and i will really miss her especially since my brother and sister are so far away and it's really lonely sometimes.

why is it that i really never want to move back to ny but most of the people i love are there? i hate you nys, stop snatching my peoples up.

i not so secretly hope my cousin hates brockport and she comes running for the hills. fountain hills.

dear blog,

i have one wish. please make the birds stop flying against the back windows of my house. after they hit the glass they seize for a few minutes and die, and if i have to deal with anymore birds guts i may vomit, pass out and or cry for a long time.

on a better note, i absolutely love my teaching internship and i seriously wish i could go everyday. those kids are so cute and such hard workers, not to mention hilarious and charming.

I miss little Zooey so much! What I would give to have a cuddle with that precious cutie right now. She is 2 yrs old today, and its crazy to think she wasn't around 2 yrs ago. Can't imagine my life without her.

I wish my brother and sister in law would call and skype more and be more proactive about visits and holidays... Its much more fun with Zooey around!

Don't worry little Zooey I will be there soon to shower you with gifts and love, Aunt Sarah loves you very much!

my little cousin is leaving me to move back to rochester... you couldn't pay me to move back east. i really miss my friends and brother and sister and adorable niece but that cold weather keeps me in the warm sunshineyness...

i remember wanting a little sister so bad when i was a child but i have a mean mother and she refused to give me one. my cousin is like the best little sister you could ask for. she's completely adorable, funny, gorgeous, kind, generous and caring. i just want to squish her to pieces so then she can't leave. :o(

i confess, i absolutely could not stand Aubrey when she was just a lil chitlin and her divalike ways just infuriated me. she would never eat her food, always had to sit in the front seat and had to have things her way. wow, she sounds just like me, except i always ate my food and then other people's food as well. i never realized that she idolized me, which is so cute. i remember thinking my older sister was the coolest ever and it's a pretty awesome feeling knowing someone thinks you're the best.

she has grown into quite the young lady and i'll miss having someone to be crazy around. we probably spend about 90% of our time together being complete idiots and laughing nonstop.

i guess nys will be seeing even more of me in the future.

here she is wearing my glasses.

I'm seriously hoping next week is better than this week has been.

My loans have still not gone through and I'm literally down to my last dime. I would have never gotten this stupid diamond in my nose if I realized that my loans wouldn't go through until I'd been in school nearly a month.

To top things off my hearing aids are on back order and I can't hear a damn thing in class. People whisper shit to me all the time. I can't hear whispers. It all makes me want to just talk to no one.


Its tiring and frustrating having to constantly tell people to speak up and then to have them laugh because they think it is funny that I miss out on nearly half of all of conversations. It makes me want to crawl under a rock and not come out until I get the damn things and my money comes through.


I still have more books to buy... I'm not big on crying anymore but I'm just having such a bad week that I'm holding them back.

:o( next week will be better.

The elder members appear to have some issues. I feel they are racist and I hate it. Its embarrassing to me... Especially considering the fact that I am of mixed race.

I will not be going to blo next weekend, everything is messed up with school right now...

I swear the one time I do things right... The outcome is unfavorable.

I'm really sad I can't visit but my brother isn't even returning my calls and I don't know if I would be able to see my niece. I'm so tired of stressful family stuff... Its mostly my brother and it just makes me so sad we can't ever have a nice holiday because he's there and we all fight or he's gone and my mom is sad. Now with the baby I just feel like he doesn't want us around her and she's the apple of my eye and I miss her so much.


My health insurance is actually paying for my hearing aids and I'm wondering where the h they are. I can't hear anything in class and I basically sit and don't talk to anyone because I can never hear.


Both of these things combined are making it hard for me not to turn into a pile of mush.



I will be visiting blo and have hearing aids by mid March or else. :o(

i have wanted to get my nose pierced forever and just never did. i had my eyebrow pierced a long time ago which isn't for me anymore and i'm definitely not into tattoos or anything.

at first i was pretty shocked and thought it was too big but now i think i love it.... it's a real diamond in there.

if work or the school that i intern at get upset i'll just say i'm hindu now and it's part of my religion and culture.

Went hiking with my momma and cousin Aubrey this morning. Hiked that mountain to the top and down! Woot! Not bad for someone whose only exercise has been shopping and eating for 8 months.

Exercise really does make you feel great and feels empowering. its like even though the world is full of jerks you can challenge yourself and always come out on top.

Go me, go hiking. I pierced my nose today and there's a diamond in there... It looks super cute and not like I'm alternative or anything- just a cute sparkly diamond! Yay!

@hodown and I are headed for the grey skies of blo in two weeks. To what do you owe this excellent surprise?! A bday party for one littlest ho who happens to be turning 2 yrs old! I'm pretty excited....


Now I must find winter clothing damnit. Seriously... Not so excited about winter but I love my family and that baby and all my blo boyfriends.

Apparently because I am going to be a teacher that means I have to become bff with my classmates... Also one instructor passed around a list for each person to sign up to bring snacks in. Ok, I worked 40hrs a week in addition to my internships and 16 credits so sorry but I will not be wasting extra time providing a snack for 35 people. I don't have time for that. Also, while it would be nice to make a friend, I barely have time for the friends I already have so no - will not be making tons of friends at school. The only true friend I made thus far in college is @tina...


Do I just have a bad attitude? I just want to do well and keep to myself I don't like revealing a ton about myself to strangers which is why I have a blog... Ok that makes no sense. I doubt many people read this shiz anyway. And if they do I am not required to converse with them or provide them with snacks.


I have the weekend off go hiking!!! And hw... Boo. Maybe an adventure...yay!

So my obsession with the dance classes lasted about a week, as do all of my new favorite things...

I have such an odd schedule now that its hard for me to commit to a class especially with my friend being sick this week and I refuse to go alone.

Decided to hike with my cousin Aubrey this morning and three times a week for the next few months as a way of spending time together and also to do something healthy! I felt really on the mountain and was determined to make it all the way up when the wind caught speed and begin pushing us over. We gave in and headed down, partially because it was hard to breathe and partially because it was kinda scary... Here's a few pics. Of to 8 hrs of class and then a 12.5 hour work day tomorrow. Thank god for the weekend off.