"the whole marriage thing" written by Lilho on estrip.org

11/09/07 11:31 - 37ºF - ID#42063

the whole marriage thing

and, to clear it up, when i said i didn't know about marriage; i wan not including the big party and diamonds part!

because, i am all about:

huge parties.

diamonds.

fancy dresses.

champagne.

i will have a non-wedding. man- optional!

Permalink: the_whole_marriage_thing.html
Words: 41
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: work

11/09/07 10:34 - 42ºF - ID#42057

most work ever

so, i love my one job, i really do. i love kids. they a;ways have such a interesting take on everything, and its so great to see them do so many things for the first time and watch their minds grow. plus, they are cute and cuddly, and nothing is better than cute and cuddly!

but, waking up at 5am is no fun. i stayed at the little girl's house whom i work for, because the father is out of town this week, and she can be handful. anyway, its good money, because part of the time, i am sleeping, but my oh my, this all makes me wonder...

1. When if ever will I want kids? I love them, but it is soooo much work, and you have no life outside of them, if you decide to raise a family.

2. When if ever, will I get married? Actually its not a "when", question, because I don't really care right now. But, at the hospital, everyone married with kids, and all they do is bitch! They have no social lives, and they have to work so hard to pay for what their kids wants, and they aren't happy with their husbands. I think you can be happy, but I honestly think it's a ton of work, and few and far between don't end up getting divorced.

I just think many women sell themselves short and are always desperately looking for a man to complete them. I also think, many people don't feel like a "whole" person without someone else. Maybe more so women, and not directed at any women on this site.

Anyway, it could be my bitterness of not being in love, but I no longer look at couples in love and get jealous. I get jealous of people who own Marc Jacobs, and can afford private jets.

I am jealous of people who have drivers, or just don't have a car and can walk everyone. I want to walk everywhere again.

If the asshole British guy calls me again in the middle of the night an wakes me up, I am going to have some words. But, for now, I will just silence his calls. The waiter called me for a date, but I think maybe not.

But I AM thinking, Blo in January! Then maybe NYC, prob both. Ok so, here's what I need to know, since no one ever calls me back! AHEM! (e:paul), do you guys still want to rent a cabin in Alleghany? And, I hate having to communicate through my blog, but sometimes desperate times calls for desperate measures!

I am now going to sleep for two hours before I work a million more hours!

dragonlady7 writes at 07:19:47 11/10/07 - Comment #27783: (e:drew) has some excellent points below-- one should be happy THAT they have/are/do things, not BECAUSE.

And so many people seem to think that an internal problem (i.e., their lack of happiness with themselves or their world) is going to be solved by an external change (getting married, having children, buying a Lear jet).

The people I envy are the ones who seem to enjoy their lives and whatever they do to make their livings.

I'm under some pressure to get married-- (e:zobar) and I have been living together for over five years now. But what would getting married do? The tax breaks aren't that great and neither of us has good health insurance anyway. I shocked my mother when I said the only reason I'd get married was for insurance or legal purposes, but it's true.

I *would* like an excuse to throw the biggest party of my life-- that would be fun-- but I don't really need an excuse to blow fifteen grand. That's the single biggest obstacle in my mind to having this otherwise-unnecessary ceremony and party.

Sigh. It's such a blast living in a society that's undergone so much recent high-speed change that our shared rituals have become meaningless. But I'm not sad that marriage doesn't mean "what it used to"-- what it used to be was primarily a legal contract, and anyone who says differently is selling something-- but I am a bit conflicted over the whole thing.

anne writes at 06:22:49 11/09/07 - Comment #27779: My thoughts on your comments about marriage and what makes you jealous: EXACTLY. That's how I feel. All the women I work with are the same way. If they're happy its because they're divorced and dating or divorced and just have their kids to worry about. When I saw Devil Wears Prada I really wanted her to go for the life of glamour and fame and forget the boy.

drew writes at 11:28:59 11/09/07 - Comment #27759: I don't think its so much the marriage as the people in it. Too many people are unhappy, and some think that a job will do it, others think that a person will do it, and others think money will do it. My guess is that the guys at (e:jason)'s work didn't love life before they get married ('cause then why would they have done so?), but now that they are married the wife is a convienient person to blame.

And some people find happiness when they get married or get the private jet or whatever, but I maintain that they are few and far between, and mostly pretending.

For the record, I am happy (at least much of the time) THAT I am married, but not BECAUSE I am married. Likewise, I am happy that I have a car and a house and some other stuff, but not BECAUSE of those things.

Every once in a while I get jealous of people that have more money, but once I get to know them I tend to lose my jealousy.

jason writes at 10:49:05 11/09/07 - Comment #27756: Yeah. Almost to a man the older guys I talk to tell me never to get married. I wouldn't say they are out and out miserable but they're unhappy enough to tell me not to make the same mistake!

Permalink: most_work_ever.html
Words: 453
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: macbook

10/30/07 02:59 - 47ºF - ID#41880

the new operating system...

who has it, should i get it? is it worth it?

tell me people, tell me!

Permalink: the_new_operating_system_.html
Words: 18
Location: Buffalo, NY

10/30/07 02:20 - 47ºF - ID#41879

ive got nothing

to say.

havent blogged in a while, but it could be cause my life is so damn boring these days.

work.

school.

sleep.

i feel like there will be something good soon. or i can rely on my massage, paycheck, and dinner plans this weekend!

Permalink: ive_got_nothing.html
Words: 45
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: sexy men

10/28/07 02:24 - 43ºF - ID#41844

sigh!

[box]we should get married, indeed. we just need to check the prenuptials, then we are all set. i don't consider myself the tragic hero, more likely a picky, independent, being-passionate-about-his-music spoiled only child who hasn't found his match yet. you might call this an awful personality faw. maybe. not. well. anyway.

how do you keep the boys in line? you exude a refreshing sensuality that is quite unique. plus the design. i think you will be good at it.

besides being a happy viola piper, i write (published a book of poetry), drink espresso, love opera, skinnydip in lake zurich in mild summer nights, travel, work in a film club, teach, sing (my everlasting love), dance ballroom, eat fondueduring mid august heat waves, play soccer and read glauser and marquez.

and yes, i need a good cook!
i will serenade you while cooking, though.

what gets you excited in life?[/box]

if he is for real. and i think he is. if not, its what my dreams are made of... i need me some of this man! basically all around what sarah wants/needs in a guy! plus the hotness, but i wont post photos because that makes me more crazy than i already am.

and i wonder, how public is this blog, going to google myself right now...

Permalink: sigh_.html
Words: 220
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: books

10/25/07 11:01 - 48ºF - ID#41805

Freakonomics!

i know, i know, im like three years behind the loop. but, if you are too, and you havent read this, you need too! now!

it blows my mind. and, i of course give credit to (e:hodown), who suggested i use the book the back up my persuasive speech with info from the amazing book.

speech topic: why pro choice is the only choice that makes sense.

and, (e:paul), i am not obsessed with abortion like you might think. ok, maybe a little. but, when i thought about what i am passionate about, this came to mind. i fully believe in the woman's right to choose, and you will too after you read this book.

jenks writes at 11:14:58 10/27/07 - Comment #27040: thanks for the reminder; I've been meaning to read that book for ages. And speaking of "freak"- I have a story to tell you!!!!

joshua writes at 09:31:23 10/26/07 - Comment #26991: Levitt argues that Roe vs. Wade led directly to reduced crime - well, when 20 million babies got aborted I think perhaps thats a very macabre way of determining how to fight violent crime!

Another argument he makes is that abortion has prevented millions of people from becoming poor and unproductive members of our society. That is a highly, highly dubious assumption to make.

He also suggests that swimming pools are less safe than guns for the average person. He is using the same logic and methodology for his other arguments in the book, by the way.

In a way, using this book to defend abortion would be like using Al Gore's movie to defend the premise of global warming.

Sarah I think you need to realize that opposition to abortion isn't necessarily a religious issue at all. Drew didn't bring it up - you did!

jason writes at 08:52:40 10/26/07 - Comment #26987: I'm happy you found something you are passionate about. Me, I'm Pro-Choice broadly speaking, but support a total ban on PBA procedures like Dilation and Extraction.

The thing about that chapter is that it is so controversial, and not just because of the subject matter. Some time ago, many different economists saw fatal flaws in Levitt's analysis, and of course Levitt dug his heels in and defended his analysis, like a good little academic. Of course, the media attention, his celebrity, along with the desires of retailers around the world to sell the book, won the day.

In the end, Levitt's case became weaker and weaker when put up to scrutiny, but it isn't 100% debunked. I think you should check out some of the competing arguments as part of your research, if not to at least understand what the opposite opinion is - you could possibly come up with a stronger paper.

But, at least his methods and the data are open, for the purpose of debate, and are not a joke - which is something you definitely cannot say for other media-trumped reports people read (think Lancet and Iraq).

drew writes at 12:03:43 10/26/07 - Comment #26977: I've got no problem with the case that you make in your comment (well, not many, at least), but from what I remember of freakonomics, their work says somethings different.

And, just to make things clear, I did not make any statement (here) about religion.

lilho writes at 11:52:49 10/25/07 - Comment #26976: i disagree. i use it to back up my opinion, because, if i were to get pregnant, along with many other women who are single and not prepared for the emotional, psychological, and social hardship a child brings. it is not fair for unwanted children to be born. look at how many there already are. it would not be right to force me, to bring a child into this world that i might end up resenting, and have my child continue on this cycle. if you take a look at what happened in romania, you will recognize the effect forcing people to procreate causes. and lets face it, some people just shouldnt be parents, but doe that mean they should have to pay for making a mistake man of us make? should they not be allowed to enjoy sex? no, people should be educated about birth control, and sex, and the responsibility sexual activity brings. but, they should also have the option to choose what they want to do with their own bodies. we cannot make this a religious issue, which so many people do. religion does not belong in politics.

drew writes at 11:17:41 10/25/07 - Comment #26974: I loved this book, but I don't think you want to use it as a pro-abortion argument, because it points out that most of the abortions are performed on "undesireds," who are more likely to commit crimes. This book argues that abortion reduces crime, but at the same time, it makes an abortion look a lot like genocide.

Permalink: Freakonomics_.html
Words: 119
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: sick fucks

10/25/07 01:29 - 46ºF - ID#41788

show your face, coward!

[box]10/24/07 18:44@72.208.66.117 Guest wrote:

Have anybody lately told you that you are disrespectful, inconsiderate, immature, fat selfish whore? [/box]

wow. no, actually, nobody has told me that lately! but thank you.
apparently, i have been walking around not knowing how awful i am.

tomorrow, i will wake up, stop eating. stop talking. get some manners. and stop screwing everything in sight.

i am so glad you let me know. because i was actually thinking, i am an ok person.

wow. thank you!

Permalink: show_your_face_coward_.html
Words: 81
Location: Buffalo, NY

10/22/07 01:45 - 69ºF - ID#41742

i got a little crazy in me

i don't know what is wrong with me.

can't focus.

can't sit still.

can't stay awake.

can't sleep.

sleep too much.

definitely eat way too much. stop eating everything. and STOP eating 70% cheese. that is so sick.

i can't take anymore of this not sex all the time. i think that is my problem. and, hope to god my mom doesn't read this shit. or my employers. but i sorta also don't care.

my new plan is definitely europe this summer, all summer. ill be an au pair or something. or something. everyone should go to at some point, and it will like an international partay!

and, oil painting is all sorts of complicated. i think my shit is gonna be shit.

ok, this is funny, this boy came over, and i really don't like him. and he really kinda irritates me. plus smallest penis ever, and i was like, "i hope we don't have to hook up." i love that i am such a slut. ok, jk. but, i didn't want to really hang out with him, but i wanted to trap someone and make them listen to me talk. apparently he wasnt down. so, he said, "we are going into your room to makeout, and we went in there. and i continued to talk, talk, talk. and, i was reading a bunch of different magazines, and enjoying my drink. then he just gets up and decides to leave. and i was laughing, and he is a douche. but, whatever he had to drive all the way out here. didn't get drunk, or stoned, and didn't get any!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha. loser.

i will now attempt school shit, or just get more drunk.....

Permalink: i_got_a_little_crazy_in_me.html
Words: 292
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: life

10/18/07 11:58 - 70ºF - ID#41707

advice needed

so, all of you more experienced (e:strip)pers, give me some help here!

here is my situation:

i have the opportunity to move out. to a nice apartment in a nice area, with two people i know i will get along with.

however, i have a lot of debt right now. a car to pay off, and get fixed now that i have fucked it up. i have school to focus on, and two jobs as well. moving out would add more stress to my full plate.

moving out would also mean a very very tight budget, and i would have to work even more. i wouldn't be able to eat out, go out, etc, very much at all, but when i did, i would have no one to answer to.

the place is reasonably priced and in a very central area for work and school. but, now i have no furniture but a bed and some other things....

my mom wants me to stay here for a while and get on my feet. i want to move out so i can start my life. i don't know what to do. its not bad here, but who wants to say they live with their parents after a certain age? i feel like a huge loser.

basically, i move out and be broke. or stay here, and save mad money and get a sweet place/move somewhere else for school when i am ready.

what do i do?

i think i am stuck here for a while.

lilho writes at 05:14:21 10/20/07 - Comment #26645: shiznat! thanx for the advice (e:peeps)! my other question is; move back to blo, yay, or nay? i know, nay, but i freakin miss it. :O(

kookcity2000 writes at 01:11:57 10/20/07 - Comment #26642: so you allready got like a pile of advice but it sounds like you know its would be better to stay at yer ma's place.

I mean like you have to ditch the tentative roommates but you can always hang later.

save that bank up: who wants to scrimp and save in the land of the big sun!?

metalpeter writes at 05:38:10 10/19/07 - Comment #26615: What it really comes down to is what place will cause more happiness and if you want that now or later. You know you can go to school and live on your own cause you have done it before. I think that you should stay at home for now. Renting when you have debt isn't really a great idea. I think it would be wise to try and pay it off now. I admit that I don't have a roommate. But I know that if I did getting homework down at home would be much tougher and so I would have to stay at school to do it. Yeah have roommates can be fun but they can also make it a lot tougher on you when you are allready so busy.

jason writes at 02:46:35 10/19/07 - Comment #26608: Ditto, if I had the opportunity to have bunked with the parents for a couple of years in my early 20's, I would have definitely done it. I would have had a giant tub of cash to spend on a new house, etc. if I had that option available.

And don't feel like a loser, or whatever. You're not. Many things, but loser is not one of them. Losers do not go to school and have two jobs. You're doing fine. Just keep at it, stay patient, and keep your goals in mind.

james writes at 01:55:11 10/19/07 - Comment #26597: The way you wrote this indicates that you want to stay.

That aside, staying sounds like a grand idea considering the financial situation.

jbeatty writes at 09:46:23 10/19/07 - Comment #26586: As someone who has not lived with my parents since HS and have gone to school for 5 years within that 10 year period I think you would be wise to stay living with your parents. It's not exactly fun always I can imagine, but the stress that is removed from your life while you are trying to succeed in school is well worth any trade off of the feeling of freedom in my opinion. If I had the option at any point to do what you are doing, there is no doubt that I would have stayed living at home.

joshua writes at 09:04:58 10/19/07 - Comment #26582: You don't want to be a 'tweener - parasite adult losers aren't attractive. You, however, are not a parasite adult loser because you actually want out, as opposed to adults who are perfectly comfortable staying at home and letting mommy take care of things. So stay for a little while, take it in stride, suck it up for a few months, then get out when its right. Its not what you might want to do at the moment but you'll be FAR better off in the end. Moving far from home isn't easy, and you have the luxury of being able to at least have the option of getting yourself stable before taking on the costs of living on your own.

drew writes at 08:52:49 10/19/07 - Comment #26581: Stay AND stop going out, etc. With two jobs and no rent, that should mean your debt can be wiped out quickly--then you can get a nice place and a nice life to go with it.

imk2 writes at 08:11:54 10/19/07 - Comment #26579: stay. i live with my mom, even though i have a real job with real money. i come home and the house is clean, there is dinner on the table, and i don't have to pay for either. you're going to be more miserable when you see those super, cute, funky boots that will be out this winter and you can't buy them because it's either boots or bread.

tinypliny writes at 12:12:02 10/19/07 - Comment #26576: I would take staying with parents and saving money over the heartache of getting even more in debt and misery, anytime. I am not sure that the "freedom" that a new setting may buy is even worth it in the long run.

From what little I know about you on this site, I think that you hold yourself in too high an esteem to care about what other people may think or not think about your staying with your mom.

Remember that prudence is *ALWAYS* at the heart of success.