Last night me , (e:beast), (e:mk) and (e:maureen) went out to Frizzy's. (e:mk) and (e:maureen) drove and me and (e:beast) decided we would just see what to do about a way to get home since they both wanted to leave earlier than us. I saw jesse (not (e:jesse)) and he and some friends were going to Marcella's but (e:maureen) wanted to go home and (e:beast) watned to stay at Frizzy's and talk to his guy. So I left with jesse and (e:beast) stayed at Frizzy's. Sidenote: does anyone remember a drag queen named like Electra who had like reddish hair at Marcella's. I swear she was real but noone else remembered.

Anyway what this post was really about was so I end up at (e:paul)'s house at 4ish in the morning and was gonna stay there but decided I wanted to go home so I was gonna walk to the Pink where (e:beast) ended up but once I got to w. ferry and elmwood I figured I might as well just walk home. SO I WALKED HOME FROM (e:paul)'s to my house in Kenmore. It took like an hour or so and it wasn't as shady as I thought it would be though it is kinda scary between like buff state and the tops on elmwood. But alas I as not attacked. Then I was kinda offended like what do I not look clasy enough that I am carrying enough money to be worth robbing, and what am I unrapable? I was so excited to cross Kenmore Ave. yet the scariest part of the walk home was actually walking down my street where I know like the people in every house .But it was terrifying for some reason. It reminded me of the days I would run home from my friend Drea's down the street with my keys in my hand so I could use them as a knife. Mind you the girl lived like ten houses down. But there were lots of scary noises on Tremont. (e:paul) thought walking by porn store alley would be shady but that was actually the safest feeling part becuase there were people and lights. It's not like as shady as the darker areas. I kinda looked crazy too because I was wearing this hat that didn't fit and a scarf and was drunk. All in all a good night.

My friends think I act like I am invincible lately. I guess in some ways I am doing risky things lately like walking home alone at 4am and some other things but so far, so good. I guess I will try to be more careful. I don't know, lately I have just been in the mood to do more things and just not care.

That person tha thas been in all my dreams lately...I just talked to them for the first time in a while today...and they moved out of town...random

I have been having really real like dreams lately. Just like I am at work or at the store or out for coffee or something. But in every single one one there is this person who I haven't seen in a while. In real life that is I haven't seen them. It isn't someone I ever even knew that well .But for some reason they are in all my dreams lately. Just so normally fit in that I keep thinking I saw them and then realize I haven't. strange....

So last night seriuosly the craziest thing ever happened to me. I can not even write it here because it is just insane and I am glad there was no Page 7 around to report it. Lets just say it involves one of my customers, an old friend of a relatives, someone who used to be my priest, one of jim's friends and lots of awkward moments. Who asks these things in the middle of Spot coffee?, while you're with a priest?, Who also happens to be pseudo-related to me? If you know me, ask for the details, trust me, its worth it, if you don't believe me ask (e:paul). I feel bad for Jim's friend, the innocent bystander in this crazy ordeal!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL!!! MY WISE ELDER BROTHER!!!! Hope you have a great one!!! Well I will be there so of course it will be great, as I always bring the fun!!!

So I think this story I am about to relate means I was a terrible person as a kid. My friend brought this story up the other day and really it is quite incredible. When I was in like maybe 6th grade a new girl moved in on our street and she was really annoying and so me and my other friends would sometimes tell her she couldn't come over because my little brother Jonathon was sleeping. Mind you I had no such brother. Ok, that's not the bad part but you seee when we thought the lie was getting out of hand and like we wanted to be loud and hang out at my house and she asked about Jonathon, I eventually told her that he had died, I believe it was of AIDS. That is terrible, who creates a little brother just to kill him off weeks later with AIDS. Sorry Jonny! I think she felt bad, ... I didn't...does that make me a bad person? I think though it was screamin gthis is a future soap opera writer!!!

Last night going out and about with (e:lilho) and (e:terry) was very fun. (e:lilho) finally achieved a dream of ours (haha, right (e:lilho)?). Overall it was fun...getting in my house at 530 and having to be at work at 8:30 ...not quite as fun. But I made it through the day, even though I was completely exhausted. I was going to write more about last night but I won't, remember when my journals were like a play by play of what I did the day before?

Todays I saw Dave who used to work at Coffee & (home of the Tasty Mocha Jet Cafes) before they burned down and he has just spent a semester in Cuba. He took 3000 pictures!!! How insane is that. I definetley want to go see them because relaly who goes to Cuba but 3000 that's a lot to look at. He said he cut it down to a decent 1600 pictures in like a slideshow. Sounds like a fun afternoon!

Me and (e:jill) traveld two hours today to get to the mall in Syracuse mainy for the H&M there. I know i have mentioned it numerous times before but it is crazy that both syracuse and rochester have an H&M but not Buffalo. Anywho, it was kinda a letdown. Nothing too great though I did get a sweater and some tshirts. (e:jill) found a stella mccartney dress that was on like sale for $70 which was crazy because they were only supposed to be at the H&M's in big cities like NY and Toronot. SOmeone must have returned it there or soemthing. So that was exciting and we bought lots of stuff at other stores too but pretty much the mall there is like the Galleria except the addition of HM.

On the way home we were sooo starving and could not find a restaurant that sounded tasty at all for some reason. We ended up just about to pass out when we decided to stop at Perkins. We seriulsy were ravenous for food, soon as we sat down we were like bring us an appetize platter please. Jill proceeded to throw her menu czu she was soo hungry. The waitress was kinda scared that we were going to eat her I tihnk. She oculd tell we were sooo hungry (well i believe we may have yelled it a few times) but so she brought everything really fast which was nice but she would like snap her hands back as soon as she put it on the table...I tihnk she was afraid we would eat her hands if they were left there too long...we did inhale our food like it would dissapear if we didn't eat it all in ten seconds flat....it was good!

P.S. I bought seasons 2 and 3 of Dawson's Creek which are soo good. They were buy one get one free at Best Buy and the cashier accidentally gave me the more expensive one free so it was like a super deal steal!!!! YEAH!

So I have made some mistakes in my day and done some senseless things. Sometimes I am really stupid and don't realize or care enough to realize what is going on. But this latest which I will not divulge here really takes the cake. It really makes me wonder how really irresponsible I am. I hope there are no lifetime repurcusions!! Why Why Why do I do these things? Sadly, drinking wasn't even involved in this latest fiasco!

Went out last night with (e:paul), (e:terry) and (e:matt). Now I have a question ,well comment/question. There was totally this hot bartender but how can you tell if a bartender is actually interested in you. Like they work for tips and your business so like they have to be nice and stuff cuz they want your money. So generally I would never even think about a bartender cuz it just seems to easy to be thinking they are interested, really they juts want your money. Last night I feel like really there was maybe potential though, they were getting me cheap drinks (like $1 or free which was def was not the price when i had the other bartenders) but then of course in return I gave bigger tips so that confuses eveyrthing but it still ended up bein to my advantage (or (e:paul)'s advantage as he kinda bankroleld the evening cuz I didn't really have money, haha). Of course I don't know how to flirt and am super dupa shy so I didn't really do anything about it but just what do you guys think? How can you tell the line between actual interest and them just wanting to get your money?