"bullshiz" written by Lilho on estrip.org

07/22/07 12:54 - 66ºF - ID#40203

bullshiz

people??? hello???

i know you are all reading this.

well, i have to stop putting so much personal info here.

im starting to get kinda paranoid that everywhere in the wolrd reads this thing, you know, because i am famous and all.

contrary to popular belief, i do like to keep some parts of my personal life personal.

it's funny because i never say here what i am really thinking, or what i really feel. that would be way too much info. usually i just generalize, and bullshit about how guys suck- that never changes.

anyway, life here is starting to get super strange, and i feel like i living some parallel version of my life.

i just started reading this book, because i have finished about ten since I've been here, i have mucho free time, and i looooooooove reading in/by the pool. "innocent traitor"- its really really good so far, and i recommend to the ladies who like novels that involve history, royalty, and bitchy women. three of my favorite things in life, if not the top three things in life.

to cheer myself up tomorrow, i am going to buy multitudes of lipgloss.

i will also wear my hot new bikini that i got super cheap from target, pronounced, with a french accent. seriously, cutest thing ever, and about ten bucks. they sell wine at target here!!!! and they have my fav kind, red bicyclette! woot!!!!

i can't get rid of the stalker, but since he is the hottest man in the wolrd, maybe i will meet him afterall. wow, i am willing to do the least smart thing in any situation. like the dog that constantly chews on its own tail...

i think i should go find something to do, and well, go find something to do.

ps. if you have not yet seen dreamgirls, watch it now!!! beyonce is a dumb bitch, and jennifer hudson rocks my world. that bitch brings the house down!!! especially when she belts out, "and im telling you". bitch can sing!!!! i wish i could sing, musicals look like so much fun!

Permalink: bullshiz.html
Words: 354
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: sunbathing

07/20/07 12:53 - 66ºF - ID#40170

fuck me now

do NOT sunbath nude!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i did, and thought, oh this is a great idea, i will get rid of my tan lines. WRONG!!!! so fucking wrong. you know why????

my ass is now the color of a tomato. now im going to have ass skin cancer. that's hot.

hopefully my unique tanning abilities will come into play here and this burn will be a tan in the morning. having a sunburned tush is not good for the push, or really anything.

good thing i sleep on my stomach.

and all night I've been thinking... why do i feel so tired????? my little bum bum.

i took a picture, but really that's not appropriate for the children.

Permalink: fuck_me_now.html
Words: 116
Location: Buffalo, NY

07/19/07 12:40 - 71ºF - ID#40161

christmas in july???

anyway, i never know what i can and can't say on this damn thing. because everybody knows about it, and then everybody asks about the bumper sticker on my car.

i have a stalker. trying to grt rid of him.

i'm liking me a sexy man!

im hoping to go out this weekend and shake my money-maker like somebody bout to pay me. if i have someone to go out with. otherwise, i just get drunk by the pool, and shake my own damn self!

i miss my dancing partners!!!! (e:terry), (e:matthew), and (e:tina) !

Permalink: christmas_in_july_.html
Words: 97
Location: Buffalo, NY

07/15/07 05:24 - 72ºF - ID#40113

pms

i seem to forget evey month why i become a complete bitch and pyscho, and eventually i realize that its time for the monthly dues. sorry boys, but its an issue that must be discussed.

i start ravishing the house for chocolate.

i feel tired and lazy as hell.

i am angry with anyoneand everyone that irritates me the slightest bit.

i start getting cramps anywhere from 1 1/2 to a week before it actually comes.

im more horny than usual. if possible.

its always late, and i begin to wonder...although, most of the time, its not even really possible. but still, a nightmare to think about.

its really really fun.

note: i might really just be this way all the time.*

there is a boy/man i really really likey. and i hope is gentle with my po' lil heart!

Permalink: pms.html
Words: 140
Location: Buffalo, NY

07/14/07 01:28 - 75ºF - ID#40104

a little bummed

this is the first time since i've been here, that i feel like i might cry.

no specific reason, just a lot of things.

and for the record, men=douche bags. its always the one you want to call doesn't, and the other won't leave you alone.

argh.

i really think i might just decide to stay single a while longer. these people don't impress me at all.

really boys. just wanting to screw me isn't enough.

Permalink: a_little_bummed.html
Words: 77
Location: Buffalo, NY

07/13/07 11:04 - 68ºF - ID#40093

looking to get drunk

basically, i miss those nights of crazy drunkeness. i want to get super wasted this weekend, and dance, and wear a pretty dress.

things are all go for work, and it looks like i will be getting a second job, to pay for that pesky little car.

i hope i get enough financial aid for school, as out of state tuition is not cheap. i really don't want to go p/t. i want to be out of school, and make some damn money.

the whole boy situation has now become a bit confusing. the boy i've been seeing, well, i don't really know what's going on there. you never know with guys, do they really like you, or just want a piece?

anyway, this guy is definitely not my boyfriend, the boyfriend status has to be acquired over time. however, i feel like it may be headed that way or something.

so, this other guy keeps calling me. he sent me all these pictures, and i must tell you, he is one of the FINEST mothers i have ever seen. so, we talk on the phone, and he has this sexy italian accent, and he's singing me all these love songs in italian. i'm like wtf??? where did this guy come from?? i guess he just moved here, and will be going to grad school in phoenix. he's in nashville now for a cousin's wedding, and won't be in town for another week.

this man has me majorly intrigued. seriously, believe me when i say he is possibly the hottest man alive. i keep checking my email just to stare at his pictures. i'm thinking, he is really not that good looking, or he wants an easy lay. if he really is that good looking, he could get any girl. he says he wants to talk on the phone and then meet when he comes.

so, the question is... do i continue to see british guy, and talk to italian guy??? and then meet italian guy when he gets here?? is it ok to have two boyfriends???

i'm really going to try and avoid being a huge jerk, but all i have to say, is may the best man win!! ;o0

oh, and i'm paranoid about people finding out about my blog, so hopefully these dudes won't.

tinypliny writes at 12:59:10 07/15/07 - Comment #20819: Why would anyone sing over the phone to a stranger unless
a) they are really talented singers and are hoping the stranger is a talent agent.
b) they sing to all strangers customarily... and it has *worked* in the past.
c) they are plastered and/or high
d) they are vain and/or facetious
e) they are desperate
f) they really really like your picture and have decided they like you too (without a convincing reason, I may add.)
g) are new to the place and don't like to be alone, whatever be the cost of getting someone.
h) are genuinely nice and are artistically inclined.

That's a 1:8 chance of being the most desirable person to date and end up with.

ajay writes at 09:06:24 07/14/07 - Comment #20808: You can never have enough boyfriends.

matthew writes at 12:16:39 07/14/07 - Comment #20788: Hmmm, i would hold off calling him the hottest man alive untill you meet him face to face. Guys can be just as "myspaced" in their pics as some girls we all know and love. Good Luck :)

jason writes at 04:45:22 07/13/07 - Comment #20761: Now, there is nothing wrong with dating around for you because you don't have a man. You're just going out and having fun. For all you know, these guys are going out on other dates too, and if they are ringers like you say they are, they definitely are exploring their options as well, so it's alright. You have nothing to feel badly about in this respect.

Now, if you are talking about them superfically, hottest man alive, sexy accents, etc, etc.....you cannot expect they will not think of you superficially also. This means, yes of course they want to pipe you. Of course they want some ass - that's the only real motivation to date! (Sometimes guys are looking for a soul mate..IN THE MOVIES). "I hope he isn't a player!" hopes the girl who also says "May the best man win!" PLEASE, honey, PLEASE. Dating around at this stage is fine, you're doing nothing wrong, but don't be hypocritical.

Anyway, it sounds like you are having a ball there, and I hope you continue to go out and date and have fun. I'm glad you're getting a new whip too.

brit writes at 04:42:50 07/13/07 - Comment #20760: This may be biased but the Italian sounds full of shit....brit...brit...brit! I emailed you, look at your emails

mk writes at 03:32:30 07/13/07 - Comment #20758: i say talk to them both! enjoy it! that is so funny he sings you italian love songs...sounds like he's interesting enough to check out a bit! but keep mr. british waiting in the wings i think.

lizabeth writes at 12:56:36 07/13/07 - Comment #20754: Heheh, well, good luck with Italian guy - tho' I will say, you might have a hard time getting rid of him if he turns out to have a repellent personality. One of my friends hooked up with a hot Italian guy when she was living in London and then couldn't get him to leave her alone when they discovered they had nothing in common and nothing to talk about when they weren't making out.

mike writes at 11:14:17 07/13/07 - Comment #20747: score! You aren't really dating british man yet so what could it hurt to just meet the Italian at least once. Though he seems a little crazy but in a good way maybe?

Permalink: looking_to_get_drunk.html
Words: 388
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: racism

07/12/07 05:43 - 74ºF - ID#40084

i didnt mean it that way

how could i be "racist" against white men???? i've dated mostly white men.

ok, i made the mistake of calling wihte men "whiteys", it was supposed to be funny. the post was not against white men, just stating my preferences.

don't get your panties all in a bundle about this people. i am just stating my preference for other ethnicities, as others often do. because a woman prefers other woman, does that mean she dislikes men, no. she is just not sexually attracted to other men.

i'm sorry if what i said seemed insulting, that is not what i was looking to do.

zobar writes at 09:15:07 07/12/07 - Comment #20734: Yo people are mad touchy about this. Having an aesthetic preference for skin color is not very different from having an aesthetic preference for hair color. Drawing further conclusions about a person based on their skin color is as asinine as drawing conclusions based on hair color.

I think most of us are in agreement on that. So why are people surprised when I take offense at being called a boring asshole?

- Z

metalpeter writes at 07:33:01 07/12/07 - Comment #20733: Ok I have a lot of things to say. First of all it is one thing to have a preferance as long as you don't descrimante that is fine. I will be honest as hot as I find white girls that tan skin and dark black hair is very sexy. Assuming the features fit that dark white or asian color.

In terms of Racism AZ, is one of the worst. Does anyone remember when they lost the superbowl or was it the olympics because the state voted MLK wasn't a holiday. Once that changed they got a superbowl.

Most minorities don't like other minorities. When I was in school it seemed like at least once a year the blacks fought the spanish but maybe that was just gangs not sure. and maybe it was more like every couple of months. I have had black friends who said they hated portoricans that thought they where black and listened to that fake rap they sang. But that being said I was the white boy who listened to rap and metal and they liked me so, it is kinda weird and hard to explain.

I think most racism is caused by bad experiances. It only takes a couple ass holes or trouble makers to make everyone look bad.

Naturaly most people have pride in there own culture what ever that is. But what happens most of the time is if you like things in your culture you then won't like things in other cultures. Then some cultures you never hear about the bad stuff. For example there are gangs and violance in all races but you only hear about blacks killing each other, or at least in Buffalo. No one ever hears about asain gangs. When it is whites it is allways the mob and that is glamerised in movies and tv so it isn't the same.

But I think the biggest factor is always class and money. I think most people don't understand that there are middle class and rich blacks. A lot of people think if you are black you are from the ghetto and that isn't true. Then if you are from the ghetto you act ghetto. Again that isn't allways true. But it is natural to put people into catorgories. We do it with every thing else. For example the type of music, tv, sports, gender, sex, and all sorts of stuff. Breaking things into classifactions is how we make sense of the world. I'm not saying it is right. But when you are walking down the street by your self and you see 4 guys your brain is going to make assuptions based on your past and how they look. It is just natural for that to happen. It is part of our animalisic instints. That doesn't mean we have to act on it or be pairanoid.

It isn't only a color issue. There are still families where you are expected to marry someone of your same nationality. Tradition and customs are very important to americans. What happens if someone polish marries and Indain and they both want a traditional wedding? Some family members woun't be happy.

My point is we should all try to get along and not cause anyone any pain. But the reality is some people don't like other people based on race and I don't think that it will ever change. Yes there will be more exceptance but sterotypes (both good and bad) will always be around.

libertad writes at 06:19:03 07/12/07 - Comment #20731: Why do you hate my whiteness?

So yeah I got the same thing from my mom who asked why I don't date someone that is from my own culture. So it just happens that I went back, but it wasn't at my mom's request, it is just who I happen to fall in love with.

Listen, black men can have small penises too. Don't be such a size queen. Just Kidding! don't attack me people it was a joke and not to be taken seriously.

Permalink: i_didnt_mean_it_that_way.html
Words: 103
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: interacial dating

07/12/07 12:18 - 72ºF - ID#40078

mom doesnt approve, a lot of people dont

so, my mom has some real issues with me dating a black guy. i don't really know what its all about, but it really upsets me. especially since this guy i like is black, and she is being all weird about it.

of course, she isn't the one who makes the call, but i also feel like other family members have issues with this. seriously, we are in year 2007. im not even completely wihite, and now with my tan i totally look like a mexican. what is the deal with this backwards attitude???

im finding myself attracted less and less to white guys. sorry, whiteys, but white just gets boring for me.

this new guy said he'd never experienced racism until he moved here a while ago. he said that in europe, people's attitudes toward race and beauty are completely different. i just don't understand why skin color is so important.

would it be better for me to date some asshole and have people approve just because he isn't ethnic? or date someone i really like, no matter what race they are.

i feel like this shouldn't be a controversial issue anymore, but it seems like it is? why? i don't get it.

the point here is. i don't really care if people have issues with it. i will date whomever i choose.

james writes at 05:07:40 07/12/07 - Comment #20721: Who can say how our desires form. There is a small demand for videos with titles like 'lactating grannies' and 'Raunchy Eskimo Pie' what makes someone attracted to such things is beyond me. So, unless you in fact harbor some sort of racism for white folk, I wouldn't say your desire for a non-white partner is inherently racist, just part of that bewildering array of desires.

But good luck with the family. For my first boyfriend, I was the first to meet his mother. She had so many issues with her first born son being gay, but after meeting me and seeing I was a person and not some swishing gay archetype she became much more accepting. So, maybe, if things get serious (if they already aren't) meeting this guy could help.

matthew writes at 04:39:02 07/12/07 - Comment #20714: "i just like guys who aren't (white)" That's racism. If you can prioritize how much you'll like a man based on the color of their skin, It shouldn't surprise/hurt you that your mother is doing the same thing.

bridgette writes at 03:29:18 07/12/07 - Comment #20709: my cousin dated a black guy when she was younger, and the family was totally against it for years. Eventually he ended up robbing her fathers house, and everyone was like, "we told you so". Had it been a white guy, maybe they would have given her the sympathy she needed and deserved... he screwed her over more. assholes are assholes no matter what color. So goes the same for kind, loving people. Love knows no color. Unfortunately, i don't see the color barrier going away any time soon. I think our generation has broken it down a whole lot, but there will always be people out there searching for something to separate themselves from others...Follow your own heart. I wish you the best.

joshua writes at 03:16:49 07/12/07 - Comment #20706: Exactly, Z.

lilho writes at 02:16:08 07/12/07 - Comment #20702: hey now. i am not racist against white guys. recently, i just like guys who aren't.

mrmike writes at 01:47:50 07/12/07 - Comment #20700: The racial thing is everywhere. My ex is an african american and we'd be in Sweet Tooth and get dirty looks. Do what is good for you and the hell with everybody else.

drew writes at 01:35:58 07/12/07 - Comment #20699: Sorry. She's just telling the truth. White guys are pretty lame. If we didn't run the world nobody would like us at all.

zobar writes at 01:02:34 07/12/07 - Comment #20698: I was totally with you until you said all white men were boring assholes without ethnicity. Now _I'm_ experiencing racism. WTF? I thought that in 2007 we were supposed to be more enlightened than that. <-:

- Z

jason writes at 12:27:00 07/12/07 - Comment #20697: Don't expect even your family to see the world the same way you do. The bottom line is if you are dating a black dude it's their problem if they can't handle it. Of course, then again, your family can also make your life very difficult.

Me, I pretty much am attracted to tall, thin, blonde chicks, which as a Swedish dude should come as no surprise. There really isn't any reason to come down from that, although a latina would be really nice. A black girl would be nice too, although I'm definitely way too stereotypically white for a black girl to be down with hit probably.

Permalink: mom_doesnt_approve_a_lot_of_people_dont.html
Words: 223
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: dora

07/05/07 03:58 - 78ºF - ID#39928

lean like a cholla

Permalink: lean_like_a_cholla.html
Words: 6
Location: Buffalo, NY

07/03/07 02:39 - 56ºF - ID#39892

hey peeps

basically craigslist is a hot spot for losers and, well, im not interested in anybody there. but boy, there sure do like me. anyways, i think there is this guy who wants to take me out. someone i met in person, but you know, i just don't know.

i feel like i don't want to bother if they aren't like super great and everything. and lets face it, how many super great people are there really? not many. exactly.

ok. onto more important things. the hiking is going really well. its amazing how just a few weeks of exercise really gets your body going. by the end of the week, im going to be ready for something more challenging. which is pretty exciting, because i am determined now to get into shape. hell, i aint got much else to do.

I've been hitting up the library a lot, and I've gotten back into reading. and working on the tan.

i am now almost ready to be an official stick shift driver. after many stalls in intersections, blood, sweat, and tears.

i like the weather here. but nys really has a much better state gov system. a lot of people here are just strange and backwards thinking. its kinda getting to me...

Permalink: hey_peeps.html
Words: 211
Location: Buffalo, NY

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