and learning this is still a struggle at times...

but you cannot base your happiness on things or people, because you will end up very unhappy.

that said....

i am very happy that i just completed my justice studies course with a 96. i was forced to sit and study and read and write... save the reading, i do not enjoy these activities.

anyway, i received full credit on my paper. it just makes me feel really, really good about myself.

i lost my favorite ring today, in a foolish mishap. anyway, i didn't dwell on it because it is just a thing. it was sooooo pretty though, and a gift to myself. i suppose i learned a lesson... stop losing stuff.

i have a good feeling about this weekend!!!!!! lots of fun planned in tuscon!

this message tho:

Hello
My name is Ali and I'm from Iraq told of age 33 years old love to identify friends Amerreqin good I do not know you search the google site for dating friends Amerreqin or site conversation an American has opened me this site and was seen pictures small personal and Dgzt on your photo has been translated what Ketbtah has inquired of writing Are you desperate frustrating looking for an opportunity to work and I could not understand something of the rest of the speech I am happy to speak with you And Ante very beautiful and graceful

I have clearly done something right.

I just opened this strange message from a person asking if I was desperate for work and then something about my romantic life. Creepers....


And aced the exam. Justice prevails.


And I am going to blo for Thanksgiving. All my favs be there...

i'm on a mission to find any job and come to blo for thanksgiving.

wish me luck.

and a date with my crush. two missions.

for the most part i have had to delete/excommunicate many people in this state from my life. i always thought buffalo was crazy central...

there seems to be a difference between your average buffalo crazy and the crazies here however. the crazies here will go to great lengths to cover up their crazy and appear somewhat normal. these crazies have jobs, boyfriends, girlfriends, and friends as well. they seem to be normal functioning people.... until the floodgates open to their personal lives and you slowly realize something is quite wrong. what appeared to be normal relationships now become something quite different.

how do you tell a once friend, "Sorry but need to be less emotional, crying, needy, angry, stress ridden, and more fun in general to be my friend." ??????

you don't. i can't tell someone that, i don't want to be mean. frankly, i would take the buffalo crazy over this kind of crazy any day. in buffalo, people present themselves as what they are and not some cheesy facade of a character that doesn't really exist.

the job market really sucks... i once had a decent job and now that i'm abut to graduate it looks dim. the good news is that i am willing to go pretty much anywhere at this point. well, warm places really.

ok, now fun times story. there is this total hottie in my service learning class and i'm just so attracted to him. to be clear, this never happens. there is maybe one other person i am currently this attracted to and they are crazy. anyway, he is just so dreamy to me and it goes beyond looks.... he is funny and witty and seems interesting and intelligent. and he also really doesn't like cats which is a huge plus.

and he's super tall which is my number one thing... i just like tall guys.

anyway, i sent him this email last week through school and asked a question about some film he was telling me about and he didn't respond. but then i saw him in class yesterday and he didn't mention it and we walked out of class together and i forgot to mention it. so, i suppose he never read the email?

i think he's too shy to ask me out so i probably need to do something about this... i'm so bad at this and he makes me nervous. it's been forever since i had a crush like this.... years, maybe a decade, maybe more.

it's actually so much of a crush that it has been motivating me to eat healthy and exercise. wowowowowowowowow!!!!!!!

i am taking a justice studies course, which turns out to be way more work than i thought but the class is actually quite interesting. i watched a documentary yesterday about people wrongfully accused of and charged with crimes they had nothing to do with.

this really scares me. there are people that are serving life sentences for murders they did not commit. also, so many people confess to crimes they did not commit for fear of being charged with the maximum sentence.

i learned two things:

1. stay away from sketchy people.

2. make decent money so you can afford a good lawyer if needed.

she has nothing to do with this post, but she is so pretty and i love her. i sent her a stuffie(strange stuffed animal thing with hidden pockets) and she never called me. i got played by my own niece...

What was I thinking? 3 hrs of drumming and no coordination musically was a terrible idea and just a no fun ending to Mondays.


Well, here's to an easy A.

a lot of teachers that i used to work with would refer to students as high and low..... it bothers me. isn't there a less demeaning and more intelligent way of indicating what level a student is at academically.

right now, i would rate myself not that high achieving. i just completed my fist round of coursework for the semester and it was days of an inward struggle with myself. i did everything to avoid doing this work, including but not limited to:

shopping for things i don't need

watching t.v. and movies which often bored me

sleeping and then taking naps as well

eating, and then eating again

socializing too much and even when i didn't feel like being social

texting

talking on the phone

looking at lame stuff on instagram

oh, and i did actually workout once!

anyway, the point is that it really wasn't that bad completing the work and surprise.... i actually learned quit a bit! the classes i learn the most from are often the least enjoyable. however, it's the reading where you really get the good stuff. it feels good to think on a worldly level and stop being concerned with my mostly silly day to day concerns. i feel refreshed knowing that i learned quite a bit today.

(e:paul) needs to stop posting blogs of my fam.... i'm ronery.

i keep getting all of these emails about amazing scholarship and paid internship offers and it's my last semester.

is this a cruel joke to tempt me to add on a minor and stay through spring?

this is funny...

false, i detect no humor and i will grad this semester.

for some reason i can never remember how to spell ridiculous... my entire life(or maybe since i have been able to spell 4 syllable words) i have always wanted to spell it:

rediculous.

well, if oprah's word: "aha moment" and "sexting" are now in webster's, perhaps i can suggest reform.

anyway, the point of all this is to say that i have had this sweet hard drive since february or march of 2011 and i am just now backin it up. oh yea... and it feels really good.

that thing had been in the box for so long... feeling lonely and unwanted. i cannot have the meltdown i did a few years ago... i am still so upset that i lost all my info and the photos from so many important parts of my life.

the box has traveled around the house and many people have wanted to buy it from me, and at one point my mother thought it was a gift from my sister.

i think i have various other items i have purchased and never or barely use.... mini laptop, shoes i never wore, dresses, etc. this is a bad habit and will end now.

sorry people, i have claimed it and it's currently doing it's magic.

the hard drive installation combined with a load of laundry has been emotionally and physically taxing and i must get pizza and a movie to recover.

need shade and a vaca...