06/25/04 12:26 - ID#25993

rainy, lonely, night

slept in this room for 16 years.
this is our last night together.
once filled with many many many things.
now houses only a bed, some clothes and me.
my childhood is over.

goodbye house.

Permalink: rainy_lonely_night.html
Words: 34
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/24/04 11:28 - ID#25992

oh baby

paul, this site s getting crazy. crazy good. im so proud of you pookie. i will bring you home special nyc treat. you wll be of in computer land, and i will be outside seeing and interacting with people. i miss you and your crazy computer ways. lets do lunch, next week sometime maybe?

rachel, i just read ur journal about getting up for work at 8pm. i must say, i was quite amused, and the thought still brings a smile to my face. i think everyone has done that once or twice!

i had a dream last night that my grandma died, and i wasnt so nice to her the last time i saw her. i hate these dreams. i keep having dreams that just seem so real, and i wake up all comfused and disturbed. maybe that is why i felt so sick to my stomach this morning. be gone with you horrible dreams and poopy stomach.

i must not put off until tomorrow what i can do today. hopefully i can do a lot! have a splendiferous day fellow epeeps.

Permalink: oh_baby.html
Words: 182
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/23/04 05:23 - ID#25991

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

last two days of packing...

i love plastic bins

i love nyc. i love sister in nyc. i will see her soooooon.

matthew, sorry i havent come by. maybe tonight? i make no promises.

my mom is just the best. she is no longer crazy lady, she is loving mommy.

i have a place to live, and a pool to swim in. ilove places to live and pools and hottubs.

i love summer and prospects of a bright future.

someday i will be your maid hodown, you know it. i was born a little brown skinned for a reason.

Permalink: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_.html
Words: 99
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/21/04 11:13 - ID#25990

everybody poops

last nght after getting aunty carol from the airport, her, i, and aunty ann all had a nice little talk about pooping. family bonding time. we were up at 2 talking about doodoo...hahaha.

Permalink: everybody_poops.html
Words: 33
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/21/04 01:38 - ID#25989

duh

so, today all in all was a god day. not a productive day, but a good day. usually i hate sundays, but this one was nice. it would be good to have a lovely monday as well.

before i forget, welcome to all new epeeps. also, when is this supposed dogeball thing happening??? because, when it does, i want to be there.

we got the precious today, but i had to leave early and get aunty from airport. i am making no sense.

goodnight, i need to wake up early and pack.

stickboy, i gt one of those bumber stickers from this magazine. i am gonna write, "I LOVE LIPGLOSS" on it, because, well, i love it. no funny, just true. it was kinda cool finding it, becausei was reading your journal thought that was weird and kinda cool. the spectacle has taken us hostage.:O(

Permalink: duh.html
Words: 146
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/19/04 10:54 - ID#25988

count me in!

Mike,

I am so up for some dodgeball madness, tshirts and all! :O)

Permalink: count_me_in_.html
Words: 13
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/18/04 11:57 - ID#25987

:O(

i am bad at giving my entries titles, so, well, that is all i have to say about that.

calling taiwan is really confusing. either tina gavce me the wrong number, or her line is always busy. this is bad. this may sound strange, but, whenever i am upset, i want to talk to tina. it isn't that other people don't listen or care; there is something about just hearing her voice that makes me feel better. i feel so comfortable around her, that i feel ok just letting it all out. she doesn't think im being silly or over emotional, she just listens and gives me her advice. she is just amazing. she always has just the right thing to say. she never judges. she always listens. and afterwords, i feel soooo much better. god, if you exist, thank you for her. she is a little slice of heaven. my slice of heaven is gone for the summer, and i don't know how to call her. help!

i feel like a jerk, i have ignored most of my friends, and even family these past few weeks. it is really hard for me to deal with things with so many people around. i get really irriatated and cranky, and i always react with a good long cry. i will just say this, no matter how much i say i want things to change, it is so hard, the hardest part of life is change, and i am really scared. i feel like i am being forced into complete independence, and i don't like it. i don't like the confusion of having so many people around when i am trying to gather my thoughts. i have not packed, and i need to.

goodbye childhood. hello adult-life.

p.s. paul matthew and terry... i miss you. you make-a-me smile! i will come visit soon!

Permalink: _O_.html
Words: 312
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/17/04 11:58 - ID#25986

runnning away is the answer

my aunt has not cleaned out my room or gotten rid of that cat. the cat will kill me befoe i kill it. anybody want a cat? its a pretty one.i shall live in a box and accept donations.

nobody is returning my phone calls, and this makes me want to go far away. arizona perhaps? i need some happy pills. as my mother says, "there just isn't enough prozac in the water."

big sisters make it all better.

Permalink: runnning_away_is_the_answer.html
Words: 80
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/16/04 10:45 - ID#25985

my mommy is leaving me:O(

i was in the car with my mom today, and she grabbed my hand and started to cry. i've never see her cry; she is such a strong woman. i'm sad. i hate crying. im happy for her though; she is finally getting the life she deserves to have.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." -Buddha

I am going to just let this happen, and go with it. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it's just a part of being human right?

Permalink: my_mommy_is_leaving_me_O_.html
Words: 98
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/16/04 12:24 - ID#25984

packing, family, packing, packing...

im am so bad at being organized... i need a personal assistant. so far, 90% of the packing has been done by my aunts, they are the best. i have so much more to do, and i don't want to do it.
i keep getting all teary eyed, and this is just the start. ah well, at least i get to take a fun trip to ny next week, yay!

i keep getting these emails from this man who says i am next of kin to someone with the same last name as i, "Ho". he says that i stand to inherit 50% of his 20 million. this has been going on for about a monh and a half now, should i respond? this is very strange.

i found my liscense.
i got an oil change.
i got a rearview mirror.

these are the best days of our lives.

Permalink: packing_family_packing_packing_.html
Words: 146
Location: Buffalo, NY

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