:O(

i am bad at giving my entries titles, so, well, that is all i have to say about that.

calling taiwan is really confusing. either tina gavce me the wrong number, or her line is always busy. this is bad. this may sound strange, but, whenever i am upset, i want to talk to tina. it isn't that other people don't listen or care; there is something about just hearing her voice that makes me feel better. i feel so comfortable around her, that i feel ok just letting it all out. she doesn't think im being silly or over emotional, she just listens and gives me her advice. she is just amazing. she always has just the right thing to say. she never judges. she always listens. and afterwords, i feel soooo much better. god, if you exist, thank you for her. she is a little slice of heaven. my slice of heaven is gone for the summer, and i don't know how to call her. help!

i feel like a jerk, i have ignored most of my friends, and even family these past few weeks. it is really hard for me to deal with things with so many people around. i get really irriatated and cranky, and i always react with a good long cry. i will just say this, no matter how much i say i want things to change, it is so hard, the hardest part of life is change, and i am really scared. i feel like i am being forced into complete independence, and i don't like it. i don't like the confusion of having so many people around when i am trying to gather my thoughts. i have not packed, and i need to.

goodbye childhood. hello adult-life.

p.s. paul matthew and terry... i miss you. you make-a-me smile! i will come visit soon!