06/18/04 11:57 - ID#25987

:O(

i am bad at giving my entries titles, so, well, that is all i have to say about that.

calling taiwan is really confusing. either tina gavce me the wrong number, or her line is always busy. this is bad. this may sound strange, but, whenever i am upset, i want to talk to tina. it isn't that other people don't listen or care; there is something about just hearing her voice that makes me feel better. i feel so comfortable around her, that i feel ok just letting it all out. she doesn't think im being silly or over emotional, she just listens and gives me her advice. she is just amazing. she always has just the right thing to say. she never judges. she always listens. and afterwords, i feel soooo much better. god, if you exist, thank you for her. she is a little slice of heaven. my slice of heaven is gone for the summer, and i don't know how to call her. help!

i feel like a jerk, i have ignored most of my friends, and even family these past few weeks. it is really hard for me to deal with things with so many people around. i get really irriatated and cranky, and i always react with a good long cry. i will just say this, no matter how much i say i want things to change, it is so hard, the hardest part of life is change, and i am really scared. i feel like i am being forced into complete independence, and i don't like it. i don't like the confusion of having so many people around when i am trying to gather my thoughts. i have not packed, and i need to.

goodbye childhood. hello adult-life.

p.s. paul matthew and terry... i miss you. you make-a-me smile! i will come visit soon!

Permalink: _O_.html
Words: 312
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/17/04 11:58 - ID#25986

runnning away is the answer

my aunt has not cleaned out my room or gotten rid of that cat. the cat will kill me befoe i kill it. anybody want a cat? its a pretty one.i shall live in a box and accept donations.

nobody is returning my phone calls, and this makes me want to go far away. arizona perhaps? i need some happy pills. as my mother says, "there just isn't enough prozac in the water."

big sisters make it all better.

Permalink: runnning_away_is_the_answer.html
Words: 80
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/16/04 10:45 - ID#25985

my mommy is leaving me:O(

i was in the car with my mom today, and she grabbed my hand and started to cry. i've never see her cry; she is such a strong woman. i'm sad. i hate crying. im happy for her though; she is finally getting the life she deserves to have.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." -Buddha

I am going to just let this happen, and go with it. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it's just a part of being human right?

Permalink: my_mommy_is_leaving_me_O_.html
Words: 98
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/16/04 12:24 - ID#25984

packing, family, packing, packing...

im am so bad at being organized... i need a personal assistant. so far, 90% of the packing has been done by my aunts, they are the best. i have so much more to do, and i don't want to do it.
i keep getting all teary eyed, and this is just the start. ah well, at least i get to take a fun trip to ny next week, yay!

i keep getting these emails from this man who says i am next of kin to someone with the same last name as i, "Ho". he says that i stand to inherit 50% of his 20 million. this has been going on for about a monh and a half now, should i respond? this is very strange.

i found my liscense.
i got an oil change.
i got a rearview mirror.

these are the best days of our lives.

Permalink: packing_family_packing_packing_.html
Words: 146
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/13/04 10:55 - ID#25983

chirp

life is often taken for granted...

these moments are short and sweet, so stop for a second a listen to the bird songs, they sing for you.

:O)

Permalink: chirp.html
Words: 28
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/11/04 04:12 - ID#25982

um yea

disregard anything i just said. have a good day. welcome new people. where did you all come from??

Permalink: um_yea.html
Words: 18
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/11/04 04:12 - ID#25981

the life of a crazy lady

i have not seen anyone in some time...

all i do is sleep and eat and work.

all i want to do is sleep and eat.

i must have another garage sale and hen go to work.

i must survive on little sleep.

i must spend time with many relatives in the next few weeks...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. whatever you do, never be born into a family where your mother has en siblings. do you know what this means? this means that everybody is a crazy god lover and they come to visit way too much. why can't they just leave me alone?

i don't want to complain, i just want to be happy. i am happy, when i get sleep and food. i need sleep and food.

who would like to spend some time with my relatives?

countdown to new york...14 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Permalink: the_life_of_a_crazy_lady.html
Words: 141
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/09/04 11:54 - ID#25980

just some random thoughts...

maybe...

people on this site should put up a real pic of themselves?even if if its in their journal, its hard for to really rwad someone's stuff if i can't put a face to the name.

i should ike to meet some of you some tim.

we could have a fun summer picnic?

journal entries should be kept shorter, so i will actually read the whole thing

this is just about the best part of the web for me ever!

robin, i am obsessed with reading your journal. whenever i check the site, i am always happy to see that you have updated. why do i feel like i am your friend, but i have only talked to you a few times? just thought i'd let you know that...

summer=magical. summer is magical. love is magical. love, summer, magic. oh, and good music too.*

Permalink: just_some_random_thoughts_.html
Words: 146
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/07/04 06:16 - ID#25979

a note to a distant friend...

Dear Tina,

This one's fer you. I have finally begun to sort through my stuff, in prep for he big move. I stumbled upon the missig mp3 cd you made for me, that i am no listening to for the first time. it's crazy, all of the memories that are racing through my mind. most of all, i just remeber smiling, and laughing with no desire to stop. i think about you a lot, and i hope that you are safe and happy. things just aren't the same without you around. i need somebody to talk serious fashion with!

I know i tell you this way too much, but you may just be the best part of my years at ub, the only good part part of being there. knowing you will be back in a couple months bring a huge smile to my face.

To all those who don't know tina, shes the best. everbody should know that.

I love you Tina(ming!), and i miss you. until we meet again...

Permalink: a_note_to_a_distant_friend_.html
Words: 172
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/07/04 11:22 - ID#25978

glass half full

tis better to be content with less. the person who has more, will always feel that they need more. i am not sure where i fit into this riddle, but i know i sure don't have much. i'm ok with that. i don't really need anything else. i just need some good food, good people, and sunny weather. maybe some lipgloss too?

word to the wise: if you eat a brwnie for breakfast, make sure it is fully cooked first. i think i go a slight raw one, and my tummy is mad at me now.

final thought: i definitely think i sleep too much. its so fun though...

Permalink: glass_half_full.html
Words: 109
Location: Buffalo, NY

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