(e:hodown) and zooey left yesterday... im so sad. hoping some time with friends can cure that.

zooey is just the sweetest most loving little girl... so smart for her age too. she can already spell a few words and has one to one correspondence down so she can add numbers. i should bring some educational games to blo for her when i come in july.

trying to find any sort of vacation rental in blo... and it appears everything is already booked or far away from the city. might be camping out on linwood.... plus i feel like i need a car too and this gives me stress because i hate spending money and i've spent too much this past month.

i work 6 days this week, which is good because i won't have time to spend. a month until the course closes and i need to figure out what i'm doing next. anyone know anything about teaching english abroad? it appears you have to pay to take a course... i ain't paying for shiz. if that's the case, i shall just continue with my previous plan of being a trainer or working for an educational company, book publisher, etc.

you know what the worst feeling in the world is? it's when you loan someone money not realizing they are a basic and they will never pay you back. another weird feeling is when you get a late night text from a random and they will not reveal their identity.... so was it someone i used to know? sometimes, i guess you gotta just let it go. ima keep in 100 on my end though.

i do routine sweeps on my phone and basically everyone i never speak to or now dislike gets deleted.... this is good and bad because then i have no clue who is texting me half the time. i also never save new numbers so when i look through my messages it is all these random numbers and then i have to read the texts to figure out who is who. i just feel like unless you are family, close friend, or important work contact, you don't really need to be in there. mmmk?

maybe if i go do some squats and pushups i'll release the negative energy of these loserish people and i can continue my day in a positive way. :)

or maybe i will cut all my jeans into cut off shorts because thats all i wear now. and cut oversize tees into crop tops. trailer trash chic??? can i wear that to the wedding with heels?

They need to make a body scanner for this shit. And it should read, "asshole, ok, iffy, trustworthy".

So... Since this is completely not possible and people do things with weird motivations and self interests... I will take it upon myself to let people know exactly how I feel and what my boundaries are.

I am feeling I can't trust someone... So I am going to just say why I feel this way, what I need to feel comfortable, and hear what the other person has to say. This is emotionally mature right?


Although I still appear to be in my young 20's, and love to have fun.... It just isn't fun for me to sit around and wonder what's up in any sort of human relationship. Now, I can or expect the other person to be honest or appreciate this kind of communication... But I feel like the good eggs will. ;)


It's never bad to be a nice person... But some people mistake niceness for weakness and that ain't me heaux!!!!!!

I got one heck of a mutha... She's pretty much my fav other than Zooey. I'd do anything for this lady... She's always there for me and she's just such an inspiring, motivated, fun person to be around!!!!!

The golf course is closing for three months starting in July. I will officially need to figure out what I'm doing now. By then I'll have a decent amount saved.... I could travel. I don't really want to travel alone though. I could just keep it and continue to work and save... it should be interesting to see where I end up.

Life is such a strange cycle. You meet people and think they will be in your life forever, and then they are gone as quickly as they came. Some people stick around longer than planned... And the ones you want to see more go away or disappear. My wish is to have the people I love around me more this whole next year. That's what makes me happy... That and having a job I enjoy... And girly things of course.


I kind of feel like I am about to embark on some sort of crazy adventure. Maybe I should go teach English abroad? Maybe I should move to California?

I'm so excited for this summer... I get to spend lots of time with my family members who I miss so much... And some that I haven't seen in years. My sis is coming here with the princess Zooey, then my cousin is coming to visit, and then I'm going to Cali, and of course Blo for the wedding of the century.

I feel like life hasn't been this good in a long time. I'm grateful! :)

Apparently I know a lot about both babies and nails....


These are two of y fav thingz... Duh.


My nail tech today was really worried about her baby falling off the bed and then having an ear infraction. She was upset because her baby had been crying a lot... I reassured her that she should be worried if get baby wasn't crying. Every baby bumps thee head once or twice... And most babies cry when they have ear infections because they are painful! The poor woman is a first time mom... She was so surprised how much I knew about babies and I told her I went to school to be a teacher and was a caregiver for several years.


She did a bomb job on my nailz... So happy.


Must drink up this mellow mood and go to bed! 1love

The hives appeared again... Not as bad as last time though. Luckily it happened on my day off and I kept myself on benedryl for 24 hrs. I woke up today ad I just have a few on my side near my stomach.

I looked up a bunch of info on hives and most of the time people never find the cause. It's unlikely it's a food allergy and I haven't been using any new beauty products. I am just grateful they went away on their own this time and I don't have to get a painful steroid shot.

There's a chance they could be from stress... But I feel like I live a low stress life. I mostly just work and come home early... I don't drink much anymore. Maybe my body is stressed because I don't go out much??!!!

People who don't have allergies are seriously lucky. I am always trying to counteract allergies from pollen, dust, animals... And random things.

I suppose I should attempt to go out and do something today since I slept through most of the past 36 hours and I work the next four days.

Maybe I'll splurge on a manicure... My fav thing!

i went for the first time yesterday... mostly as an observer/ cocktail enjoyer.

i think maybe i get why people love it so much. it had been a rough day at work and it was so nice to be outside and relax and attempt a few drives and puts.

some of the people i work with are just the nicest people, i'm glad i had the chance to get to know them a bit more. my boss is also the cutest guy, like in a fatherly way. plus he's a chef and knows so much about food, which is one of my fav things to learn/talk about.

i dragged my feet so long over this golf thing, and now i feel like it could possibly be a new hobby for me, or wait it's a sport. it's my new sport of choice?

i need golf clothes!!!!!

my sis and zooey are coming in two weeks and it's gonna be the best week of my entire year. i can't wait to smother zooey with hugs and kisses and take her everywhere! i miss my family so much when i go more than a few months without seeing them, this summer is going to be just what a need. i'm so glad i get to see them again in july and also my fav blo peeps too!

I swear that I have deleted my stupid linked in profile 5 times and then I never do it right or maybe I get distracted.


I am still maintaining that I like social networking with the exception of Instagram because I look at photos of:

Food
Rihanna
Nails and nail art
Shoes
Clothing
Attractive people
Interesting places that I want to travel to
Jewelry

Ok, well just anything that looks nice and luxurious or funny or both. I'm deleting linked in today, bai.

It's back with a vengeance. Will I just now go completely deaf in my right ear? It woke me out of my sleep last night which had never happened before.... This concerns me because sleep is the one escape from tinnitus that I have. I honestly would rather go deaf in my right ear than hear this shit forever.

I picked up a few extra shifts at work this week, which is great for the savings plan but somewhat disturbing to mental state. Some golfers brought escorts with them on the course yesterday. One of the women tool her panties off and put them on this man's head right on front of me. I was working the back shop right before the 9th hole.... These people were drunk. I don't like being exposed to that at work because I feel it encourages men to act inappropriately with me as well. I'm all for a good time, but I take work seriously and don't appreciate sexually charged comments directed towards me while I'm trying to make money. Anywho.... Interesting day.

Tomorrow is my day off thank god. I thought golf was a classy type sport... You would be surprised at all of the strange things people tell me.


Let us pray the ringing will stop. :(

i am convinced that only bad comes from being too informed of current events and happenings around the world.

the news is such a biased and terror invoking experience for me... the more i know, the more convinced i am that i will get bombed or that i am dying of some terminal illness.

all of this makes me want to just get rid of technology and live on an island with my family and friends only... i'm sure (e:mike) is the same way. i really hate the doctor and dentist and every medical experience ever, except working at a hospital because that was fun at times.

perhaps my exposure to so many sick and diseased people has made me paranoid. i'm still convinced i'm dying of something, and this won't change.

so now, i feel like i'm probably just severely mentally ill. that has to be the real issue here...

and now switching gears... when i started serving i would get so nervous being watched and having to be at ease and hospitable with golfers, but now i actually really like it. i was telling my aunt about serving and she said she missed being able to talk to all kinds of people... i think that is what i love most about my job. we get people who come from all over the world, and i get to have a glimpse into their lives. it makes me excited about the future and traveling. i love learning about new places and getting to know people. i feel like it is such a good quality to have, being able to converse with strangers and make them feel at ease. it has really helped me to be less stand-offish and shy around new people.

i think people assume that i am really uppity and bitchy when i keep to myself and it is really of mix of me actually feeling nervous around new people and also not hearing half of what is going on. i've learned to just be upfront about my hearing loss and what a difference it makes to just tell people, "hey, i'm deaf, i wear hearing aids."

i got a credit card the other day, and i have 1/5 of my savings goal. being done with school and only having work is like the easiest thing ever. i can actually make money and save it!

i'm gonna take over the world bitches!