"a world without butter" written by Lilho on estrip.org

06/29/09 10:53 - 69ºF - ID#49122

a world without butter

i had a breakdown last night. i ate steak and butter, and bread and a volcano cake with ice cream.

and i had some cheese, which is not so bad but a bad combo, because the meal was fat and carb filled and so delish.

now, that was my major cheat day. i am going to do some major exercising today. but i can't hike for a few days because i hurt my baby toe.

this woman at work writes me up every time i work with her. i don't really care, but she never says anything to my face. i refuse to acknowledge your petty complaints because you lack the courage to say anything to my face. it's childish and lame. she also makes up blatant lies just because she doesn't like me and she does the same thing with other people she doesn't like.

i think the real reason she has a problem with me is that i am not a christian, and i live what she views as a "bad" lifestyle. sorry i'm not a haggard 40 something who looks 55 and has two awful brats and an ex who abused me and used me and spent all of my money for years. i say what i think, and i don't sugar coat, people here thinks that makes me sad.

but honestly, do these people have happy thoughts when they get into bed at night and have to face the reality of their sad lives??? i don't smile when i don't want to, and i don't like small talk, it's a waste of time. i just can't stand fakeness and also people who can't man up and complain to my face.

anyway, i saw the complaint and just threw it right in the shredder, if anyone ever asks, i don't know a thing... i had an accomplice and they know not a thing either.

i should find a new job, but the econ sucks and i have limited availability due to the schooling which feels like i will never finish.

t-3 days until (e:deeglam) arrives! spa time!

Permalink: a_world_without_butter.html
Words: 350
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/25/09 06:17 - 76ºF - ID#49082

m.j.

micheal jackson is dead?

this is upsetting, i thought he was gonna have some comeback, and it would be like old times.

who will raise his kids???? so sad.

Permalink: m_j_.html
Words: 29
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/24/09 07:46 - 78ºF - ID#49069

the biggest loser

i just bought this new video by jillian micheals, the crazy ripper trainer woman on that show the biggest loser.

holy crap her workouts are hard. i find myself yelling at the tv even though no one can hear me.

i haven't lost a lot of weight, only about 10 pounds, but my body is changing shape a bit, i am seeing less flabby bits, and i am feeling good about my two month goal for aruba.

i've kinda been a slacker this week, but it's gotten so hot that i don't know i can even hike at 6 am, because exercise in extreme heat is the worst. plus, my whole stomach issue, which i should know what's going on with that in a week!

i so cheated today by eating lots of cheese and bread, but i am going to have a veggie packed salad for dinner, and exercise again tonight.

with that said, i pretty much hate working out, and eating right, but it's the only way, because i am not rich enough for plastic surgery, jk. sorta.

i have been watching lots of movies lately, and if you are a woman and romanticize marriage, then do not watch revolutionary road, because it will destroy your fantasy. it makes me never want to get married. but kate winslet is really my fav actress i think, and its creepy how she played a woman who doesn't even like having children when in real life she has kids.. she plays the role so well.

i really need to make some new friends because the ones i have here kinda suck, so i have bff'd myself, and sometimes it gets kinda boring, but then i think, all of the really cool people have just gone far far away.

come back tina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Permalink: the_biggest_loser.html
Words: 298
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/23/09 01:05 - 77ºF - ID#49039

creepers stay away

i was trying to find the lab this morning so i can finally spend three hours of fun here to get my tests done...

im already in a bad mood because i haven't eaten in 14 hours, and then i can't find the place because in az it's all one giant complicated plaza away from the street with no big signs. i swear there is all these interesting places i have no clue about because in ny everything is close the street and everything has big signs.

it's my number one pet peeve about this place, plazas that are impossible and never ending.

anyway, then this creeper in a cab starts following me and acting like he is helping me while really checking me out and trying to hit on me. sorry, but i am not dating right now, and esp not a cab driver. and a bald one at that.

he followed me to my car and i just ignored him and drove away. ewww.

i still follow the rules of stranger danger, so stay away creepers!

Permalink: creepers_stay_away.html
Words: 177
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/10/09 12:55 - 56ºF - ID#48880

airlift rescue

so, all i do is exercise and eat healthy now.

this morning hiking, i saw two helicopters, they kept circling around and my cousin and i were trying to figure out what was going on.

no other people on the trail. somewhat early morning. weirdness!

then we got to the very tippy top and there was a group of people sitting.... we checked out the view, and began going down.

i made a joke about how i wasn't going to carry my cousin down if she fell...

then we see at least ten firemen(only 1 hottie) coming up, with a bunch of stuff and a stretcher on wheels. they asked how much further, and i told them just a few minutes. they asked if we wanted to help, somewhat joking, somewhat serious. i think by the sign of their drenched shirts they were pretty tired.

anyway, turns out it was all over the news... an older lady we having chest pains.

so, new note to self... bring cell phone even though it is annoying to have stuff when running down... because i may need a rescue someday.

oh, and i did 500 crunches today. i am obsessed.

Permalink: airlift_rescue.html
Words: 196
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/08/09 04:27 - 62ºF - ID#48868

clouds??

clouds be gone. this is too buffalo-esque.

this whole not spending money thing sucks. aruba better be worth it.

Permalink: clouds_.html
Words: 19
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/07/09 08:35 - 58ºF - ID#48858

the hardest thing ive ever had to do

waking up at 530 to workout. i hate it.

but i love the results im getting already and its only been a few weeks.

it takes hard work and dedication, and a verrrrrry early bedtime.

i have given up social life for exercise.

Permalink: the_hardest_thing_ive_ever_had_to_do.html
Words: 42
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/05/09 01:58 - 53ºF - ID#48839

speak up

its much easier to get what you want if you just make it known. and even if you don't get it, you will be happier knowing you spoke your mind.

ps. exercise and eating right are addictive.

Permalink: speak_up.html
Words: 37
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/01/09 11:07 - 61ºF - ID#48820

eye opening

i found out this morning before work that a young man i knew from ub was shot and killed a few weeks ago.

i was completely shocked and upset. although i didn't know him too well, he seemed like a nice guy, and we kissed once. i hung out with him and a bunch of ub people one night and we drank and had fun and craziness. it was one of those random great nights that stay clear in your memory.

what is even more odd is that i have lots of photos of him in my laptop, from that night we hung out, and me and friends would look at them sometimes and laugh.

he was 23, and was murdered the same day he graduated. luckily the cameras in main street caught the murderer. the poor guy's mother had to spend mother's day making funeral arrangements.

it makes me think... i want to really live each day with meaning and be full of life. i know life is hard, but at this age i(and everyone my age) have so much to look forward to, and so many decisions to make and ways to shape my life....

i just don't want to live a wasted life. i don't want to ever feel sorry for myself again and or wish i have something i don't. it can all disappear like that.

i doubt i would have ever talked to him or reconnected with him, but he made an impact on my life. it's a wake up call, to realize how amazing my life is...

i am grateful to be here now.

Permalink: eye_opening.html
Words: 270
Location: Buffalo, NY

06/01/09 09:44 - 54ºF - ID#48811

the end of the world

i had this dream last night that the world was basically/possibly ending.

there was this giant flood everywhere and it destroyed most of the food.

i was somehow in blo and when the flood hit i was with my brother, and i was swimming with one arm so i could save my laptop, which i did.

then i met up with (e:paul), (e:mike), (e:terry), (e:hodown), and (e:matthew) and we headed to wegmans to buy lots of meat and some canned fruit and veggies.

we were living in some house in the sorta ghetto, maybe like one of (e:paul)'s first apartments.

i ended up in charge of the food, surprise, and, i decided the men should eat more so they could stay strong.

other people weren't taking the whole ordeal seriously but we were preparing for the worst, in the most fun way possible of course, with peppercorn covered steaks.

i decided, if the world does end in 2012, i would like the end it with these peeps. however, i really hope there is no end of the world in sight.