"Bummed out" written by Lilho on estrip.org

08/01/14 07:51 - ID#59249

Bummed out

I was interviewed for an assistant team lead position which is exactly where I want to be in order to move into a training or writing position and was not selected. In laymen's terms, this sucks so bad.

It's super difficult to not be bitter about the fact that I see way more men than women move up the ladder. It also sucks to see the company choose to promote those without an education. I worked so hard to finally finish school and do it right. Makes me second guess who I work for and I want to continue my career with this company or go elsewhere.

I do my best daily... And this last quarter I had the highest performance ratings on my team. In short, I do the best job in the shortest amount of time with the highest customer satisfaction ratings. Apparently that still isn't good enough or noticeable to those in power. I try so hard to help customers everyday... Against the struggle of a terrible new interface and systems that are archaic or don't work properly and I still get damn good ratings. I also put together presentations and submit teammate success stories for others to encourage recognition.

I realize this is me complaining about the monotony of corporate world and its backwards ways, but I know I'm worth more. Time to piloting the pavement once again and find an actual career where I am placed in a position that allows me to thrive. It's a waste of intelligence, creativity and talent to be complacent and stay where I'm currently at.

I'm also bitter that likely all the men around me make more money for doing the same work that does not nearly meet the quality of mine. Not gonna get bitter, just better honey. Ba leeeeee dat hunni.

Permalink: Bummed_out.html
Words: 304
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Last Modified: 08/01/14 07:51

06/19/14 10:16 - ID#59109

I love it when

I can get a little raw chicken sandwich action at work...

I'm so hungry but so afraid to eat. The cafe at work will now be only for beverages and packaged items like hummus and pretzels.

This is the struggle. I love raw fish, meat.... But chicken is not a raw item that one ever wishes to consume. Maybe a little food poisoning before my vacay will get this body looking right!!!

Permalink: I_love_it_when.html
Words: 72
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Last Modified: 06/19/14 10:16

05/30/14 02:45 - ID#59030

Dear Chris Belcher 1977

I don't approve of cyber bullying and you're unsolicited message is an example of the faceless and baseless comments unhappy people feel they can hide behind because they are sent electronically rather than in person. If you have something to say, say it to my face.

PS. I really love my giant grey alien eyes. :)

guest says: Hey,
I know you are trying to look all hot and cute in your pics but please baby-girl wear some sunglasses when you go out in public ( keep them on ALL the time ) because...... I swear to GOD I've seen bigger eyeballs on a cow !!!! JESUS CHRIST ! you know they say your eyes never grow, they are full size from the day you are born. I can't imagine what you looked like as a baby?!! .....I got it....a "GRAY ALIEN". LOL! OH, You poor girl........

Permalink: Dear_Chris_Belcher_1977.html
Words: 143
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Last Modified: 05/30/14 02:45

05/24/14 09:36 - ID#59013

I'm alive

Just in case (e:Paul) was still wondering. I've been in new boyfriend mode and I've haven't been good about being in touch, with anyone. That combined with the fact that my job is to sit on the phone in front of a computer for hours.... I can't stand using the phone or computers during my free time.

I feel like so much has happened in the past four months, and nothing has happened at all. Since posting this requires the use of technology, I'll just make a list of what I've been up to:

new boyfriend

broken phone

new phone that I accidentally put in a cup of water for 10 hrs miraculously works minus the back camera(which I'm going to replace once I work some more OT)

the AC in my car broke, and I drove it around from the past month(it's already really hot here)

i bought my first brand new car yesterday!!!! It doesn't even feel like it's mine, and I'm going to be the crazy who parks away from everyone else and doesn't let anyone in my car with food or anything that will stain it.... A 2014 Hyundai Accent

my job is kinda awesome and kinda the worst ever, I'm either going to hold out for a better position or do an online business grad program and have them pay for it

Ok that list turned into paragraphs. I'm officially moving out of my mothers house in August and while I adore her, I can't wait. This is possibly my final entry into real adulthood- aka I'm old and boring. But I still look young!

I can't wait too see me peeps in a month!!!! :)

Permalink: I_m_alive.html
Words: 283
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Last Modified: 05/24/14 09:36

03/23/14 03:04 - ID#58820

Nightmare

I was in the middle of a terrible fucked nightmare when my boyfriend called me from Vegas to tell me he misses me. I'm angry and relieved.

One, don't call me when you know I'm sleeping. Two, thanks for calling because I woke up so terrified and grateful to not have to be in that nightmare anymore.

The nightmare consisted of me and two coworkers. They had suddenly turned into wild animals and were attacking me... I know in the dream I was really scared of them and they attacked me because I wouldn't do something they asked. Also.... At some point in the dream I got angry with my man for lying to me about when he was coming home.

I hate dreams that involve real people, because they usually do things that are messed up and then I wake up confused thinking they did these bad things and I become skeptical of them for at least a day.

I also woke up in a hot sweat from being covered on too many blankets. Lately, when I sleep I go to bed really cold and wake up hot. Plus the hives and itchiness are bad this week. I have a lump on my thyroid that is 4cm and I'm going to have to have it biopsied which scares me. I can't wait to just get it over with though, because I have been having strange health problems for over a year. Then I get anxiety which makes it worse....

Note to self, turn off your phone when you go to bed. Unless ur having a nightmare and your boyfriend who just lied to you in your dreams can pull you out of it- but you might still be mad about the fake lie.

Permalink: Nightmare.html
Words: 296
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Last Modified: 03/23/14 03:06

03/21/14 05:11 - ID#58810

Being in lurve

It's been soooo long! I think I forgot what this felt like... Thinking about someone all the time, getting excited to see them, walking around with a dumb smile. That's me.

I just feel so lucky to be with someone who is so sweet and cares about me so much and never hesitates to show me. Plus he's super handsome, smells amazing, and has the best style. Le sigh!

He's just so kind and giving and happy... Life is good.

I'm coming to Buffalo the last week of June for a family trip! My mom rented a house for my whole fam and is treating us all to a vacay! Can't wait to see all my peeps and possibly bring my man for everyone to meet.:)

Permalink: Being_in_lurve.html
Words: 128
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Last Modified: 03/21/14 05:11

02/23/14 01:20 - ID#58722

Over it

The feeling of being officially over someone who completely shattered your heart is possibly the best feeling. It's even better to know you not only lived through the heartbreak, but you are also better because of it.

Annnnnd.... What's really the best is meeting someone who compliments you and makes you laugh... And the more you know them, the more attractive they become. It feels so good to be around someone that commands your full attention because you are drawn to them so much... And you are nicer, happier, better around them. It's like this guy makes me want to be a better person and vice versa.

I'm really just loving life the past few months. :)

Permalink: Over_it.html
Words: 116
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Last Modified: 02/23/14 01:20

02/22/14 12:43 - ID#58715

Really Arizona?

This whole anti gay legislation and Jan Brewer get me so upset. I hope that pass this law and get the whole country in a rage because its insane this is happening in our time.

I guess I don't realize how much ignorance their can be because I don't associate with those kind of people. I think in actuality most probably dislike what they can't understand... But Arizona needs a lesson on human rights.

Permalink: Really_Arizona_.html
Words: 74
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Last Modified: 02/22/14 12:43

02/18/14 08:17 - ID#58705

Getting takeout

For my boo and I and I'm waiting at the bar and some giant thing filled with wooden sticks fell on my head...

Awkward. I just yelled out "ow", and then they gave me a $20 gift card.... I kinda want more but I'm alone and my into causing a scene.

This damn Japanese food better be good. :)

And dats my boo... So handsome.

Permalink: Getting_takeout.html
Words: 65
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Last Modified: 02/18/14 08:17

02/16/14 10:19 - ID#58691

Bad grandpa

I really don't want to go to work today... I want to sit around and be lazy and wear knee socks as eat cookies!

When I think about why could get me excited about the day.... I think about bad grandpa. Johnny Knoxville plays this character on jackass and they made a movie starring bad grandpa and it likely the most insane funniest thing I've ever seen.

If you need to laugh so hard your stomach hurts... Watch this movie. The ending is possibly the best as most unexpected part. It involves bad grandpa and his fake grandson and a children's beauty pageant... Even just the mention of a beauty pageant and I'm all in!

I suppose I can just be happy today because I weighed myself as I somehow managed to lose some weight without even trying. Just 10 lbs to my goal weight oh yes!!!!

It's been so nice here all week it feels like summer!!!