09/22/04 02:52 - ID#26049

oy vay

i feel like there is no time for anything but work and school and grandma. school is fun. its just long and a lot of hours. 24 per week. it may sound silly, but its intense, as intense as you make it, and tiring. but i feel like i have finally found something i enjoy and excel at. yay.

where is my mommy? i can't wait for her to come visit me. i need hugs and kisses from her. i also need her to see how freakin poor i am. 37 dollars for the rest of the week, need gas, oil change, uniform stuff for school. wtf?

i never seen anyone anymore. mainly tina. i mi9ss the times that we used to hang out, but i don't have so much free time anymore. plus, me little car doesn't like driving anywhere too far, and school out in west seneca shall take a toll on her this year. we must make it.

those bastards wont give me money. they say my hearing loss isn't bad enough. what? i don't understand. if you drink and have drug problems, you have a problem and can get help. i you can't hear, thats just fine. fuck you state of ny.

i think im gonna hang out with pmt tonight. yay. i love salami.

Permalink: oy_vay.html
Words: 218
Location: Buffalo, NY

09/16/04 03:53 - ID#26048

there's a fire...

us epeeps is crazy. what do you gwt when you have all of us, and alcohol, and a bucket of fries. just plain fun. i didn't drink though. i am high on life, or something like that.

i realized, i need to stop isolating and get out more. when did i turn into such a bore? lets have this period done and over with now. crazy party lilho shall return. holla.

hehehe....... i love my granny!

Permalink: there_s_a_fire_.html
Words: 76
Location: Buffalo, NY

09/15/04 08:14 - ID#26047

long time

i wrote an entry before. iit was erased. oh well. bad day turned good day; i think.

long time since:

i saw the ocean

saw my mom

saw brother

liked working/ wanted to work

is prozac the answer? matt says he thinks i will be a pill popping wife. oh boy. i guess really being just you by yourself for the first time ever means a lot of freedom, choice, and confusion. its natural to feel alone. but i really really hate it. maybe i will work with kiddies again, they always make me happy. yay for kids. they're just wonderful, and if you don't agree, you're stupid.

zucchini soup and cigarettes...nature's cure.

im dramatic. give me something so i can be normal.

Permalink: long_time.html
Words: 124
Location: Buffalo, NY

09/05/04 03:25 - ID#26046

lalalala...life is good

so, i have new place which i like. new job, don't know if i like cuz i don't start til tuesday. going to school. owe mom lots of money. shes real mad. at least i got happiness.

how about this weather, absolutely freakin awesome!

Permalink: lalalala_life_is_good.html
Words: 44
Location: Buffalo, NY

08/31/04 03:52 - ID#26045

micheal bolton and kenny g, are they

the same person? they are corny, have(or did have) strange long curly hair and make bad music. lets make love to some micheal bolton and kenny g baby.

Permalink: micheal_bolton_and_kenny_g_are_they.html
Words: 33
Location: Buffalo, NY

08/31/04 03:46 - ID#26044

too cool for skool?

paul once told me that i am. its not true. i really wanna go. someone needs to pay. ummm. the gov or my mom. well, i would eventually get money from vesid and just pay her back. so, it starts in a week, and im jealous, cuz all you are out there learning things.

moving on thurs for def. excited. nervous. lots of things. trying to throw out stuff. i wanna throw it all out. but i use it all. threw out a big bag of clothes today, well giving it to the sal army.

even though life is crazy and messed up and so unsure right now, im very very very happy.

and in love :)

Permalink: too_cool_for_skool_.html
Words: 116
Location: Buffalo, NY

08/30/04 11:55 - ID#26043

i think its fly when epeeps stop by...

[/c] for tha summer, for tha summer...wow, everyone is very thoughtful and kinda wierd right now. i agree, it sucks that summer was over, but not really for me. summer is such a great season, and normally i spend my summers near the ocean with family, relaxation, and lots of great food. this year was so different. not bad, just different.

i still parited and saw friends and had some great food, but the family was missing, and that was probably the hardest part. sometimes i miss my mom so much or just think about something she might say or do if she was with me, and i just start to cry. not bad tears. just tears of realization. shes crazy. shes a neat freak. she hates coming home to dishes in the sink, but she is the best and the only one i got. at fist, i was so sad, all the time, but it really did get easier, and now im so glad i stated. i got all you dudes to hang out with and talk to, its amazingwhat one website can do. i daresay, this has been my home, while i had none, and that is just so cool. thanx paul.

also, thank you, thank you, thank you, to paul matthew and terry for helping me out and letting me hang out this summer. we had some good times ya'll. thanx for helping me find a place. this entry is too long, i try to keep it short. now i will list.

tina is back, yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
move on wed, yay!
work at sushi place, yay!
finish painting furniture, double yay!
see friend who just came back from italy, yay!
fancypants, yay!

if you ever need to make a huge life change, or just change your life, do it in the summertime. at least you will have the sunshine and warm weather. ;) [c]

Permalink: i_think_its_fly_when_epeeps_stop_by_.html
Words: 319
Location: Buffalo, NY

08/27/04 10:17 - ID#26042

VESID

sounds like i missed out on a good time last night. however, i am in no condition for partying. must find job and make sure that my mom is gonna pay the bills. going to call saigon bangkok one more time, and then i give up. finding a job=no fun at all.

anywaysm and more importantly, i am waiting to hear from VESID. they may help me pay for school and hearing aids. i am crossing my fingers, because i really, really need this money, but i am not sure if i can get it in time for school. damn.

must start day.8*

Permalink: VESID.html
Words: 104
Location: Buffalo, NY

08/26/04 04:41 - ID#26041

death cab and postal service

yes, they are one and the same person... postal service was just a side project that ended up being pretty popular. hopefully they will get back togheter and do something else.

Permalink: death_cab_and_postal_service.html
Words: 31
Location: Buffalo, NY

08/26/04 02:02 - ID#26040

the sun will come out tomorrow?

im sure it'll be ok tomorrow, but right now i really feel like crying or losing it; something.
it seems the more i try to get done, the more impossible it gets:

have to pay rent- no money
thought i had a job, but i have called them a million times and they never call me to come in?
couldn't get the key to work in my aunt's door today, and i need to get my stuff and start throwing things out and repacking
my car is slowly falling apart
i don't know how school os getting paid for and it starts on the 8th, will I even go? my mom wont cosign a loan, so if i don't get money for my hearing loss, im basically screwed and i can't go
have to pay ticket and go to driving school. another 150 i don't have

basically this is just a huge complaint list, ignore it. ill be ok when i beg my mom for money and she finally gives in. i can't wait to not be poor. i hate spending all of my time thinking about how i am going to pay for things, it really blows. hopefully, one year from now, i will be doing what i like making good money....8*

Permalink: the_sun_will_come_out_tomorrow_.html
Words: 212
Location: Buffalo, NY

<-- Earlier Entries