i am not sure what day chinese new year actually is, hold on, let me check...ok so i lied, i don't know. but let's celebrate anyways. now, onto the real topic.
have you ever become uninterested? not suicidal or anything dramatic like that. but, just uninterested, in everything. well, except for alcohol, parties, lipgloss, boys, and all things fun. oh, and don't forget maria, she's always up for whatever.

seriously, i have notcied that for maybe two years now, i have had no passion for anything, and that is sad. at the least, life should provide us with one thing we really love. and,i can think of lots of activities i used to love, soccer, skiing, painting, theatre...but nothing seems to excite me anymore.

this "cycle of uninterest", as i have chosen to title it, needs to end. i am challenging myself to find one thing i really really love, and to learn about it as much as possible, and perhaps that wil lead me in the right direction. and, if you as well are having this problem, i challenge you as well.
i think that it would so great to wake up and have something exciting to learn about or do...

changing the subject...i really like this whole online journal thang. but, i don't want to seem really unintelligent. i think to myself, when people read this do they dislike me? are they bothered by what i write? i suppose, i should say i just don't care. and, if you do have an issue, bring it forth and email me! i have never received an email though the site. imagine that.

paul's bday is tomorrow, and i for one am really excited. i think it is sad that the first thing i think of when there is a celebration is always, "what will i wear?" this is sad, but oh so fun, it's like dress-up, but real life. perhaps i can be passionate about dress-up, because it is seriously the most fun game ever invented, and when the farm comes to life, i think there should be a dress-up room with a little stage for performances! how fun? a ton o fun.
we can put on shows and stuff, for shits and giggles.

tomorrow, i shall wear my ripped jean mini, with the snap stiletto boots, and prob just a tee, slutty, but oh so fun...

did you know that eating meat may be a contributing factor leading to male impetence...interesting.

today's subject will be meat...it is obvious that the meat industry is fucked up, and beef is just out of the question. however, is lamb ok? it tastes good, that is for sure. i guess the answer is obvious.

i think it would less painful to have a vagina chopped off than a penis. paul pointed out that it "would have to cored out". what a pleasant thought! he even listed some items you might bw able to find in your home to do this, a rusty cut up can, or even an apple corer. did i spell "corer" right? is it even a word? anmyway, that was probably the most interesting conversation i have had today.

president bush should be impeached...

this girl i work with had a shirt on that said "pussy killer", i want one.

this whole journal thang is really fun, and interesting, however, i feel that i need to be given a topic. otherwise, i will just write nonsense about my life that really doesn't matter. so, to all those reading, i would like a new path of discussion...feel free to start the discussion...
on to the tedious stuff. what i need to say, is that karma exists. it is ever prestn in your life, so treat others as you would like to be treated. give people space, who need space. don't be disrespectful. don't hesistate to say what you feel. don't ever take advantage of someone. and most of all, get to know people you don't agree with, if you only hang out with people you agree with, you will never learn anything.

p.s. i love you big sis!

point blank, t.v is bad

if you need to know more, check out the kill your t.v. webiste...


if you disagree, you are just dumb

some exceptions might be good movies, but please don't bother watching them with people you get along with, human interaction is much more fun than staring at the color tube..

At pano's, with the creator and master of the domain, paul, and tk, who didn't create anything. Fun times, feed the tummy.

here's my question:
does cold weather make you an angry person?

my personal answer is yes. at least when it is warm and sunny outside, you can be happy and wake up to the pleasant warming rays of sun, the occasional soft blowing breeze, and the thought of long days hiking in the forest and swimming in the creek. however, this is not the case about 75% of the time in buffalo. i would say, i am happy here and not angry, the remaining 15% of time; leaving 10% space for bad mooods and anger geared towards shitty people i come in contact with day to day. now, taking in to account, the bitterness of this entry, and the anger towards snow, and all things cold-minus cold drinks(such as beer, mixed drinks, martinis and such), do you agree with me?
list of things that have made me angry in the past three weeks:
wind
snow
wearing so much clothing all the time
beef
bush
the whole government in general
people in the fam-i will not name names
snow again
school
moms
work
boys
cats-cuddling is not cool(when you are allergic to cats)
dogs-biting is not cool(and it left a mark)
winsheild wiper fluid
dumb people(or people that act dumb)
buttons
shaving
doing wash
washing
dressing
driving
-all i believe to be bothering me partially because of the arctic conditions

the following things are always annoying:
the fam
work
school
shaving
driving
boys
-but these are all made more problematic by the more than negative temps

on the good side:
i love my friends
i love my hair
i love life, even though most people are evil, mostly those who are religious
and i love this place, and its plethora of computers

and foooood, is always good to love

• i love my sister, and i think she is mad at me, so maybe if she reads this she will love me too*

note to self: write something substantial in this journal next time...
p.s. check out the new link, even though you have probably been there previously, the end of the world cartoon is infinitely funny

i am officially going back to school, and i am officially going to actually try this time. so, that is the plan. the other plan is to stay away from assholes. i have been informed by numerous people that a certain someone i am seeing is huge asshole. so, i think i need to step up to the plate and make it a point to stay away from bad people. take me out to dinner damnit. that's it for now.
note to self: relocate to a non-snow environment.

it seems that after the age of eighteen, you should have as little contact with parents as possible, this, i have decided will be the solution to my problem. who wants to be nearing twenty-one and have a daily chore list? not me. i have gotten to the point where i just listen to the lectures and have no response. i am a bad bad horribe person. i only care about myself and i lie cheat and steal to get what i want.that might make me just as bad as good ol' george-dubya.
added to that, my irritation with snow increases with the minute. why does it have to snow so f'in much? why? ok, the snow is not that bad, but the salt ruins everything; shoes, cars, clothes, and fun. i hate snow.
this all adds up to just a bad feeling in my stomach, the semi-nervous, semi-pukey kind, and i find myself wanting to sleep a lot. perhaps the solution for this is alcohol. it is the feel good drug. whoever said they don't need drugs to have fun is really wrong.
to end this ridiculous self-pity entry, i would like to add that i have the cutest friends ever. the kind that call to see ifyou got home ok last night, and the ones that share their special treats with you. the kind that let you borrow their car and don't hate you when you still owe them lots of moeny from a long time ago. these people make life, despite how hard and tedious, utterly worth it. and to you, i toast!
p.s. i am in love with everything asian...

after a very long and strange day, caused by what i believed to be the observation of a full moon last night, i have arrived home in one piece. to make a long story short, the snow storm in seattle turned into an ice-slush storm after a nghtfull of rain. Due to the steepness of my aunt and uncle's driveway, i could't manage to walk upwith my luggage, withou falling on my face, so my aunt decided she would try and bring the car down. note to self: NEVER, EVER TRY TO DRIVE A CAR DOWN A STEEP SLIPPERY DRIVEWAY, THIS WILL LEAD TO THE BRAES LETTING OUT. so, after nearly falling over the hill, my aunt made it down with the car. the we proceded to make the journey back up, which actually went quite well until we hit the final most steep part of the driveway, and we the car slid out and started on nother past dow and over the hill. with no brakes, ad visions of blood and glass, i gripped for der life, and the brakes again started to work. so, i hastly climbed out the driver's side and waited at the top of the way for the friendly neighbor's to assist in putting chains on the tires. we got the car up only to hear that many of the roads on the island were closed. it was only 9:30, but cannot tell you how badly i already needed a drink. we made it to the airport in plenty of time, me having about 25 mintues to literally run to my gate. i was so happy to on that plane and out of the treacherous situations of seattle. at lunc time, the flight attendant offered me some wine, first i declined, but then proceded to drink four glasses and get a little tipsy, i was good times. first class can do a lot for a person. anywho, i am home and it feels great. i love the flatness of he land, the bitter cold, and knowing that no matter how icy it is i will never tumble down a hill to my death, just tryng to get out my driveway. the only other bad thing, my f'in luggage didn't come, well one bag did, but where the hell is the other one? fucking-a. i did fnd a dollar in the parking lot though, and that was fun. it as also fun to go to pano's and see at least en people i know, half of which i don't want to know and pretended i didn't see. becky, my new bf, has purchased a knitting bok for lefties, which brings me joy and hope for a future full of beautiful scarves. if you wanna get in on the action, let me know. anyway, it's good to be back, one suitcase and all.

i am stuck here in seattle for one more day due to the massive amounts of snow-about three inches. it's kinda cool actually because i can spend some more time with my cool family and stuff. we are gonna make pumpkin bread, and i am gonna eat some...yummy!