We started out the day at the Bonton so that (e:hodown) could get pantyhose and some makeup.


We decked out the house with lots of spider webby stuff.


I decided to be the demon farmer. I wanted a costume that was fun, easy, and revealing. I thought this one worked.


By 5am I was pretty much exhausted. This is me trying to make a serious face while posing for (e:hodown). It was the first time I wore contacts in years.


I work up at 9:20am to one messy ass kitchen. (E:flacidness), (e:hodown) and I cleaned till like 11:30. Then we left for the farmer's market. The best part was when TK first woke up he was thirsty and poured a glass of cider to chug. Unfortunately, it was the cider that Robert and James brought which was alcoholic.

I had a hard time resisting being (e:lilho)'s boil. I ended up being a farmer again. This time with a devil pitch fork and some mask. (e:hodown) is her girl crush form TV.

I was perousing through as I find it endlessly entertaining to read about other people sex lives. I have a feeling the Buffalo ones are tame compared to those in SF or NYC. This is definitely the most creeptastic one I have ever read. It reads like the beginning of a serial killer movie.

I am a middle-aged white man looking for a young(18-20yr old)white guy who wants to be my houseboi in sunny,warm,and wonderful,Tampabay,Florida! NO Snow,lots of sun and fun! You will have to get here on your own! I will provide room and board,No experience needed,will train the right guy. This is a long term relationship,im a dominant type of guy,a top,5'10",7"cut,heavy build,and I can be strict.I want you to do some light housekeeping,take care of my wants and needs,go places and do things with me,all at my expense! You won't need a salary,I will pay for everything!No other job allowed,No outside dating,No one in the house,and No going out with anyone! I like the quiet submissive type of guy,who does what he is told,and likes to serve others.If you are interested,send stats,photos,and contact info to me asap! this position won't last long,christmas is coming!no car wanted or needed,fly down or take the bus!
Tell me what you are into? this is a great location,beats WNY by a mile! CYA! IF THIS ISN'T FOR YOU,KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF! GET A LIFE! I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A CRITIC,IM LOOKING FOR A HOUSEBOI!

To me this reads as a serial killer looking to cut you off from all communication and rape you continuously. Especially creepy is the "no car wanted or needed,fly down or take the bus!" That just screams, there will be no trace that you ever came here, and you are never leaving.

I started searching for words from the ad and found some other links: He has either been on the search for a while or he wore the old ones out.

He also didn't post it on Tampa craigslist about it which sounds like he wants a person who has no local connections. Creepy.

I never call a male a boy, but sometime I call a female a girl. I think that seems wrong but often the reason is that I don't want to say woman as it sounds formal and kind of oldish. Just like I almost never refer to a male as a man.

I never say, "I talked to this man at work the other day." I would instead say, "I talked to this guy at work." Somehow, it doesn't even seem to matter what age the male was, I almost never say man. (e:hodown) says she says dude for where I say guy.

The problem is that Gal - what I think is the female equivalent of Guy - seems so colloquial and not very popular, not to mention it kind of comes off as having a sexist tone, even when unintended - like broad. Maybe its because of the generation that would typically use it. "I talked to this girl," sounds demeaning. "I talked to this woman," sounds cold and unfriendly to me.

And Then There Is You Guys
What's worse is that I often find myself saying "you guys" when referring to a group of woman. Approach by a group of female friends: "Oh, I haven't seen you guys in so long." You gals sounds sound ridiculous and y'all is way to southern colloquial. I could always use the more Buffalo based expression. "I have seen yous? in so long" I don't even know how to spelled it, it is pronounced like "use."

So what should I say? I think I might just never refer to females with pronouns again to avoid the embarrassment. But then thats kind of weird too. It almost like the language makes it difficult to refer to females

Gosh just try and look up all these terms on google images and it give you an idea about their usage.

We were eating diner at the new Pano's and (e:lilho,46439) called us for the
midnight update on her butt drama. She's thinking of going under the
lance. Wish her luck.

Me in Italy just before I went on the trip I am writing about. Ya, I know its obvious I am not drinking that water? Its sad because the picture in the background is our ancestral farmhouse in Italy and I accidentally rewound the film and took pictures over the old ones. Thank god for digital pics now. Too bad I didn't even bring a camera with me the whole month I traveled around Southern Europe and Northern Africa.



Here is the letter. I am a little embarrassed about it because it shows how naive I was as a 19 year old. Its almost half a lifetime ago. If I don't publish it I will probably lose it now that the physical letter is in my hands. Feel free to skip around.

Dear Mutti und Vatti,
Well your old most prodical son has finally written. but in actuality he has not. I have changed so much since I have been here that the oold Paul image is pretty much obsolete. I think you'll be very happy because I gave up everything whih you hate most. I have had so many magical life changing expereinces - it's just intense. First of all I have seen in Africa what it is like to be really poor. It cerrtianly makes American homesless people look lucky. The reason I spent so much money is because I gave it away. And it's not like in America where people say, oh he'll spend it on drugs or booze. There are no drugs or booze in Africa for these poor people.

I have made a difference in many peoples lives here. We met these girls Pat and Lisa from Toronto. What a coincidence huh. Anyways, Pat 35 is so I can't it explain it but I made a difference in her life. One night we all went and sat in the marketplace in Marakesh. Mind you, this is not even remotely normal for tourists. We sat there on the ground. This is were the poor go at night to tell stories, act, fight, etc for money just to live to the next day. Spectators gather around and throw money. As we sat there I was shaking as usual because I was wearing my day clothes at night and they say the desert is four seasons in one day. Anyways, a black boy who I thought was like 16 but turned out to be 19 brought me a lantern and some broken toys. At first I thought it was a joke but then I gave him a cigarette and we sat together. Soon about 200 arabs crowded around us. We went from Spectators to becoming to the show.

Soon this poor old woman came down from the mountains she was shaking hard with Palsy and had with her three small children. One was retarded. She through several letters to the poor guy next to me. He read them aloud. Her daughter was a prostitute and the 3 children were her illegitimate grandchildren. One girl was retarded. The old woman started crying. Almost immediately the poor people and spectators alike began to cry. I was totally detached as normal because I refuse to cry in public. I guess its just a personality flaw! The people gave her a lot of money and she told of how they were starving and needed to get the daughter out of jail. The poor people that had been playing and begging for money then started to give her every last coin. They were so desperate yet so giving. In the end of it all, the retarded girl stole 10DH from her grandmother. The poor man next to me beat her unforgivingly with a shoe. It was so sad that Pat left. I went with some Arab man to find a bathroom. When I came back the circle had dispersed. If we had not been there no one would have firmed that large circle and the old woman would have have had no forum to tell her story. We really made a difference.

That night when I came back from checking on Pat I brought with me a backpack full of stuff for the black kid who gave me the lantern. I brought him things that were import to me so that I could feel their lack in my life. I have him the chirstmas he never had. He had no shoes so I gave him my new adidas hemp shoes, a pair of new shorts, a jar of oh so hard to find vegan nutella and this cheezy porn magazine that Holly and I found in he train station in Italy. I had kept it to send to Amy (Arizona) as a joke but he was so poor to have a chance at marriage so Lisa said I should give it to him. In the bag I put lots of change and my "coke is it" shirt.

He was so happy. I thought he was about 16yrs old but he was 20 and he swore to it Anyways that night when we left I gave him 100DH. He flipped, gosh, to me that was only $10 but it had the buying power of $100 US in America. A load of bread here only costs 1DH.

The next day we went to dinner at Happpy Hours. He was the old guy tman who they bought rugs from and I bought a robe from. He gave me a free ashtray, braceltts, a blanket not to mention dinner, teat, fruit, etc. He was so thrilled that I was vegan and it was his son that freed to tortoises I bought. Two were tiny like baby Sahara when she was first bought and one was a bug boy one. The troitoises were so happy with all the food I bought them. They ate all day long. Pomegranite, apple, pear,grapes, tomatoes, carrot, banana, and lettuce. They were really happy.

The couscous we ate was so good and made with all kinds of vegetables. Pat ate a hot, hot , hot pepper. At first she just nibbled the front but then she ate the whole thing because she felt bad throwing it out or spitting it back out. You should have seen her face. She always feels bad about everything.

I never expect 25 year olds to apologize to me about things. Luckily, Happy Hou son asked her to help prepare the couscous at his house. The mother loved Pat. Pat ended up feeling bad and buying the mother a dress and shoes. Then the mother tattooed Pat's hands with Henna. It was a temporary dye that lasts about 2 months. I bought some of the mix because it was so neat. One day Happy Hour also had me over for soup. It was tomato, chickpea, moroccan soup. The first day I was there I spoke only German and then when Pat and Lisa came I spoke english. They, the 2 sons Mohammed and Abdul speak Dutch, English, Spanish, French, Arabic, German and some Swedish. The only words that the old man kew other than arabic were Happy Hour, goof, and mange, mange in french. I promised to send the one American sports shoes. And they promised to give me a place to stay if I came back.

Oh yeah, in Barcelona we experienced art. Not at a normal level but an the extreme. Barcelona in the most art intense city I can imagine. It has so many parks, gardens, museums tc. We did Joan Miro, Picasso, Dahli, Gaudi. Gaudi had the most unbelievable architecture on earth. Dad would have loved it. We mets some other American kids there, It was so much fun. But not so drastic or as mind boggling as Africa. Barcelona is definitely the place to go in Europe. It is liek an old Toronto. Its pretty safe, not everywhere, but close. Its is technology meets old world style. The markets are so huge and fantastic If you come you must go there. You really must go someday. You and dad would love it. Michael could stay in, out in the big ole F-burg.

Oh I guess this is the biggest news of all. I proposed to Jessica. i really lve her for sure. Everyday without her seems so empty compared to when she's with me. I am glad that I came here to find that out because now I really know. I hope she accepts. I wrote it in a letter from Italy and were still not home home yet to find out.

Actually, I just left Paris about an 1/2 hour ago. I have one word for France - Anal. Everyone here is so unfriendly, unhelpful and pretentious. Well not everybody. We met a lot of nice people in smaller southern town and in Nice but this Paris thing is just too much after the Africa experience. They re so haute, extravagant, self-absorbed and just about everything I used to be and don't want to be anymore.

Thanks for raising me the way you did. I think me and Holly were discussing this intensively - that coming from a stable family with one parent always around made me special. I am always grateful. Oh well, I can't wait for school to start. Tell Nonna to call me soon. I guess I can call here or write. I'll call grandma this week.

You know after straying as far away from Christianity as possible I think I recaptured its best aspects in Morocco. Ironic isn't it that it is an Islamic country. None of the supernatural stuff thought. Just the good old fashioned Love They Neighbor.

Vegan

I programmed a very significant authentication system today on a whim and it worked. It was one of those exciting couple hours - bang - it works things. Not so usual for cross platform, cross server, cross OS solutions. Work has been more and more like that now that I can make some calls of my own and have a better overview of everything that is going on.

On an unrelated note, I am so excited about the party. I think there are going to be a lot of people. I have been inviting people like mad. You should feel free to invite any of your friends. I plan on thoroughly enjoying myself after some endless nights of programming madness.

I am just going to bed now after hours of IE6 testing for the latest surebert toolkit. I hate IE6 so much, I cannot wait for IE8 so that at least the basics of the web can work similarly across browser.

At least my upgrades from the last week are finally done.

I can't believe they have google earth for the iphone now. The interface is so amazing. And it has terrian, the picture links and wiki links - plus it works with the GPS. Here is the CNET review



IN other mobile news, I just some people have gotten android running on the tilt. I never thought I would use that phoe again but I might switch back for a while with android.

After getting back from a trip to morocco in 1996, I sent this letter to my parents. There was more to the letter but the star of the story was my expereince with these tortoises. I really love tortoises. I think I believed this story would end up in some animal rights zine. If only I had a blog back then. During the 90s, before the internet everything was in zines. Maybe some of you remember how crazy popular zines were. There were zines about everything and you would get them at local bookstores, at music shows, etc.

Here I am the year I wrote this. Before the happy trail turned into a happy rain forest.

Dear Parental Guidance and their youngest child, my biological brother,

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A TORTOISE LOVING VEGAN CRUSADER
On a 90 degree humid day in marakesh, morocco, I was pacing quickly though the market as to avoid the possible "sales confrontations" that African Markets are so famous for. I began to speed up when appoaching the leather district as it is so hard to explain dead cow in a foreign language. The glance given by the corner of my eye was caught by an odd instrument upon a store wall. It resembled a tortoise but had a leather wrapper stick attached to one end and some decorations. To my surpirse it was a highly decorated toirtse carcas. Outrageous as it may seem, western tourists pirahcse them under the pretense that it is a guitar.

I contrinued to walk along in disgust until I reached an apothecary, curious as I am a someday botanist, as to which plants were utlized as medication ,narcotics, aphrpdesiacs, etc. A hardly audible scratching noise was emminating frm a box inside the store. It reminded me of the obessessive scratching rituals my tortoises particpated in when they were restricted in territory during travel. I asked the store keeper what sort of animal he felt it was proper to keep in a small box with no air aholes. He said it was only a tortoise and they are made into some sort of aphrodesiac. I asked his price for all three. After an endles series of bargainings we decided on 350 girhma, This is approximately $35 US. He was nonetheless exceptionally surprised. The tortoises were a geochelone variety but without a texonomic guide thats as far as I could go.

I was given the tortoises in a plastic bag, similar in shape and function to a walmart bag. It was absolutely useless. Immediatly I took the tortoises out and carried them in my arms, They were three different sizes. One 7 inces, one 4 and one 3. The largest was a male, as he made certainly apparent, the other two were female I believe, having relatively small, wide tales and completely flat carpaces. Part of the bargain was that I would not tell the police where I got them if questioned. I swore on my word, with my fingers crosses of course. I brought them to a man I knew was going to the mountains on wednesday. He said he would take them, to their proper habitat and was so impressed with my convinctions that he invited me to dinner of couscous and tomato soup vegan of course.

For the two days unitl he left fo the mountains, I visited his home and brought the tortoises a bounty of food. They ate extremely well for the stress they put up with. When I left morocco I knew what I had acocomplished was only a fraction of what has to be done. In northern Africa, as well as other 3rd world reptile habitats, tortoises are currently being mutilated and gutted to make isignificant trinkets of death, such as guitars, jewlery, aphrodesiacs, etc - although international, as well as, regional law and their enfrocement have made a stance they are not enought, nor will they ever be, These tortoises are not dying because the natives subsist on "tortoise parts" and in actuality, the natives are not at fault in the issue. It is another case of eco-unfriendly tourism. The ones to blame here are the western and asian tourists who bring these horrrific souvenirs of tortured death home.

Just as in the issue of fur or the veal industry, the only way to stop the madness is to inform. So this month try and tell 10 people a week about theis issue Make it simple and to the point. Then mhave them all also promise to tell 10 people a week for only month. In no time millions of ppeopl will know and you have have made a difference.

WAIT DO NOT SEND THIS I HAVE TO CORRECT IT AND ADD MORE EMOTIONAL APPEAL!

Love,
Vegan