I am a little depressed but I am sure it's the weather. I really can have no complaint in life. I got love, a great job, good food, cute pets, and almost too many friends. I guess the problem must be the weather or the server. or the weather's affect on my feelings for the server.

Sometimes I find myself really hoping for global warming. Like in that movie, Where in The Hell Is North Tonawanda . I suppose it is almost here because it has barely snowed yet and here we are approaching mid January. Its the greyness that really kills me. I don't want to leave Buffalo. I love it here in tems of the people, the size of the city, the housing, food, etc. It is just that I spend so much time sitting inside thinking about how horrible it would be to go outside. Maybe I should just try and get into freezing rain and mud. I mean if I could just overcome my aversion to those two things, I gues soutside could be funside.

I slept really crappy because I was up till 6am updating the server. That last thing I saw before I fell asleep was that PHP 5.1.1 and all the extensions I needed had finally compiled. Thank god that's over. I had to upgrade to the new version of PHP so that the server was compatible with the new site code.

Honestly, I am so sick of maintaining the site from afar. I really need to get my server at home connected. (e:terry) doesn't want me to pay for it to be here. At least not yet because it costs around $100/month. There are many days where I spend 5 hours doing a 2 hour task because I have to do it across the network. I mean there are ways I could offset the cost, for exmaple hosting other sites. The thing is that I don't have time for another job at this point and the thought of being responsible for more sites sounds sickening.

I think so far I spent about ~$5000 and way more than 3000 hours of work on this site. That is assuming that I only worked on it 20 hours a week. While recently, I have been holding true to that, before I definately spent many more hours than that. Especially during the time when the site's abse code was being developed. There are so many things I had to redo because of lack of experience in 2003. The 20 hours are not just programming. I do server maintence, graphic design, PR, testing, answer customer service questions, deal with optimization of the database, fix old bugs, and make new stuff. Its pretty much like being a one man volunteer company.

The remember bufflao site is just going to die unless I get a connection and more importantly some serious volunteers because I can't afford to spend more time on another long distance internet project at this point. I think the idea is so great but I have yet to score even one committed volunteer.

I was going to try and work with artvoice but I am too afraid I will get dragged into a lot of other stuff and I can't afford the time right now and having the server across town is frankly just far away as having it in Vancouver. At least that is my thinking at this point. I also cannot manage to have a daytime business appointment with anyone.