The year before she was taken away at gun point.

Okay seriously hurt my neck which has now turned into neck/rib/spine/sternum drama and is making me crazy. It all started out just being a strained neck but then accommodating for the strained neck I managed to hurt everything else. It makes me not able to work out very much or worse still - not able to dance freely.

I made both a chiropractic and massage therapy appointment for tomorrow. Do you think it is bad to mix? And is there an order like, "beer after liquor, never been sicker."

I just want it to stop hurting and thanks to crohn's and can't take ibuprofin - that is if I even have crohn's. Knock on wood its been almost a year since I have had any chrohn's symptoms. Basically since my gangrenous appendix came out about one year ago (e:paul,44043) Frankly, I am still convinced it was the culprit all along.

So today I actually spent time watching youtube videos about girls with anorexia.

I learned that there is this thing called Thinspo which stands for thinspiration. Try searching it there is a ton of inspirational material to help girls stay thin.

When I was in high school I dated this one girl who was so anorexic but honestly, she had it easy compared to girls who have it now. There is a whole online support culture to feed the mania now.

Look what you get if you just start typing thinsp into youtube search


I am slightly fascinated by people who die from not eating considering how hard I try to gain weight. They are like my anti-matter.

What is your internet rock bottom?

UPDATE:
Okay this is freakin redic. This is so wrong of me, but he looks like he just has aids.


How crazy is this CBS Anorexia's Living Face Her knees make me feel sick.



This is the ultimate in bad combo. Imagine being an exhibitionist, bullemic in the age of youtube

I am a public eating disorder artist, activist and educator. I am have done and am available for media/tv, magazine/print, photo/documentaries, research/projects and various educational interviews. If you would like my help on an educational or research project, contact me with more details. I use my You Tube account to reach out to people and deliver educational videos, as well as raw and honest video journals. I am not recovered nor do I claim to be. I am struggling, I am fighting. Recovery is a lifelong commitment. Get in it so you can win it!

I decided to just give up on os x and go back to linux 100%. What a circular pattern I am in. I am not exactly even sure why I went mac to begin with. I feel like one of those straight guys that got drunk and hooked up with their buddy only to regret it later.

I guess the hardware is nice - when its not broken. I should have just stayed here in the first place. Maybe I was just lured by photoshop, flexbuilder gui and a reasonable flash player. COme to think of it, its really adobe's fault. I mean how can maya come out on every platform and somehow photoshop can't. Well I am down with the gimp again. I will just miss shapes and vectors. I guess there is always inkscape. I just wish they could be one like photoshop.

The first thing I noticed is that I can't believe how freakin snappy everything is. When I say logout or shutdown - it freakin logs out. None of this so and so canceled your restart bullshit. When I say open firefox, there it is. WIll I miss safari - a little bit? WIll it still exist in my dumb ass windows virtual machine for testing IE and safari - yes.

Also, the amount of time I will save not have to try an implement everything the way it is on the server, because it just is that way will be amazing. No more trying to compile some obscure library for osx because it doesn't exist.

To make sure I was serious, I just went ahead and deleted all my mac server stuff. No more macports, no more apache with mysql blah blah php, subversion. Its all in fedora now.

In fact the laptop is little more than a shell for projects I am working on at the moment. I check out with svn, do my work, commit and erase from disk. No more musik, no photos, no backup files, nothing. It all lives in the clouds. Either on the estrip server, the work server or the home server.

It makes me feel so much better that if someone kicked me in the laptop, I'd have nothing to lose.

Are they threatening him or saying how important PEF is?

I just finished working for today at 1:00am. I think everything works as planned for tomorrow. I worked at home today because my apple crapbook pro is broken. Getting everything up and running in fedora only took about a half hour. I love linux.

The rest of the day was spent on new development and documentation.

Elementary school Poetry by Paul Visco

Sprinkle is like snow.
Sparkle is like gold.
Sprinkle is soft as cotton,
Sparkle is as shiny as the sun.

Sprinkle is very soft.
Sparkle is very glittery.
Sparkle is sometimes hard.
Sprinkle is sometimes soft.

I like both sprinkle and sparkle.

So it turns I do have one of the piece of shit Santa rosa defective
graphics cards and to make it apple awesome they of course don't have
the part in store. That despite the fact the fuckers only sell like
four computers and the problem is a known issue. You think they would
have the foresight to have the part in stock. They told me I could
expect a turn around of about 72 hours.

Tomorrow is the launch of a very important piece of software. This is
going to be real fun without my computer, argh.

I think I have now tried every combo of facial hair. This is the
ugliest one. I don't think it will last very long.

I was searching for internet brides just to see what was out there when I found this guide to being a good wife on goodwife.com While it sound like a dream for me, I can't believe there is any women who truly would follow this.

So far all I get is number three. The second and fifth last one's is outrageous.

From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

• During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

• Be happy to see him.

• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

• Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

• A good wife always knows her place.