This is a personal note to myself so that when I look back in time, I remember that I love teaching but that I hate teaching at UB and would rather have my finger nails repeatedly extracted on re-growth than ever try it again.

I was really excited about teaching the 3D virtual communities course that I wrote about last year after visiting the Second Life crew at Siggraph. Unfortunately, Canisius could not host it because of technical difficulties with getting the mac version of the software before the beginning of the semester. That is where the idea should have died as fate demanded.

The goal of the course was to develop a virtual community within a 3D web environment. The environment itself was already created. The students, as per the syllabus, simply needed to get togther, create a social network, government, and infractsructure for their online community and document the development.

I am now convinced that moving it to UB was really the wrong direction to go in. Instead of canceling I decided to work with Jesse. Roy allowed me to get supervised teaching credit and I put several hundred hours into designing and particpating in the course. Yes, several hundred hours for a job that I was paying to have. What nonsense.

For me the undergraduate UB students seem to be really unmotivated. I am not saying this from this single experience, I am saying this after I have participated in classes with them and now I have tried teaching one. I think the average stuednts motivation level there is just much lower than the average level at the school's I attended, or at least, in the programs at the schools I attended.

The students in the course seem to have a serious lack of self-motivation, a factor which I think often defines a student's ability to learn and develop both intellectually and professionally. It's really hard for me to understand as I am extremely motivated from within and always have been. None of this, "some leader inspired me" bullshit that my student gave me this wek. I think that one can be genuinely inspired by ones self. Ask anyone that knows me.

In the case of this class, I just didn't want to direct/control the specifics. I tried to leave the option up to the students. Big mistake I guess. I think people signed up for the online course looking for a freebie. As defined in the syllabus, it was a writing intensive course and most people never handed in any of the papers.

Tempreal (the course name) failed miserably. Almost no papers were handed in, most students did not participate in the communities. Both Jesse and I called their houses, their cellphones, sent them emails, posted notifications to the course web site, etc all to no avail. At this point I am uninterested in putting more effort into the course until I see some production and homework coming in.

During the first part of the semester I tried so hard to get students going. At first many of them complained of technial problems and the inability to get online. I found it hard to belive that students would sign up for an online class with the descritption that ours had and then not be able to get online.

Some students did not arrive in the course environment until weeks after the semester started, despite notifications, etc.

I cannot believe how ill prepared these students will be in the business world if they carry such a work ethic over. I mean they will simply never make it.

God help me to never teach at a massive public school again.

I am once again staying up late to get some renders done but instead of getting the renders done I have managed to wipe out my boot partition to my linux drive. Great. This whole project has really sucked. I am a big fan of not working with untested products.

Well stickboy, I also find late in the night/early in the morning to be the best time to get work done. For me it is the only time iwthout distractions. However, I do hear what you are saying about wanting to hold onto another day that is slipping by. I feel that too.

I also went to go see goodbye Lenin last night. It was a really facinating and yet funny/touching movie.

See terry's journal [inlink]userName=terry,blogID=181[/inlink] for more info about the movie or visit here to see the trailer.



What I questioned most during the movie was WWTD? What Would Trebor Do? I thought I remembered him telling me he was a wall guard. Maybe I am wrong but if so - wow. In any case it would explain his obsession with social justice and protecting the rights of the oppressed and protesters, etc nowaday?

If that is the case I wonder if he does it out of a bad conscience?

I read your journal

I seriously got a lot of work done during the second half of this week. I ignored the site, my friends, eating, etc and was able to make some progress. I still feel empty a bit, which means that it was not the work load that was bothering me. I guess it was the weather, the situation, my lack of direction, reading suck-ass student papers, etc.

Tonight I will celebrate life at Lilho's soire. I am surprised more people haven't contacted us for directions. I guess we posted it too late.

Josephine got me a license to test Virtools, I am sure I already love it. Check out this great chat application. DSomeday, the elmwood site will have something very similar.

Tonight in class, I saw the documentary video work of another student in my class. She is chinese and is facscinated by the methods that other chinese students use to cope with cultural adaption. This particular video touched on the tendency of many chinese american exchange stduents to become christian, possibily as an adaption method.

On to what I was thinking. I am always jealous of video artists, especially documentary artists, because I thought their medium was so much easier to handle than mine. I mean the world exists, you point your camera, and with a bit a of talent and a lot of practice you have a piece of art.

For me, I spend weeks and months, designing and tailoring, translating and manipulating data in order to create something that then seems to never be finsihed because some variable could always be altered to produce a totally different piece of artwork. Especially in terms of 3D modeling.

It is in fact, the challenge of having too many options. An infiniite amount of vaiable that are all completely controllable. She could not go back and change someones smile as they laughed because it didn't look right or change the color of their eyes because it did not contribvute to the overall eaesthetic. Its hard to find something that I cannot be resposnible for in my work. It is impossible to leave something to chance that is completely created by code either visually in terms of Alias or Maxon or textually in terms of PHP, HTML, and MYSQL.

Then I began to think about how she needed to pick subjects and ask them questions or at least direct them and I realized that all of the time I have spent building this site, I have actually began to create a tool for automating an interview, for allowing others to weave themselves into my own collaborative documentary.

When her project is finsihed she definately will have something amazing to show. She could even use the video to make another, more comprehensive video.

However, this project seems limitless. Someday when we look back on this site we will see it as a record of what life was like for people living in this place, this elmwood, this buffalo. But it may also end up being a graph or video, a database or a music track.

I think I have finally began to really use the computer to its fullest potential. Not just as susbstitute for some other artform. For example, when you do photoshop work, you are using the computer to subsitute for a camera, darkroom ,cutting table, etc. But this type of work is actually using the computer as the medium.

I guess I knew in 1986 that this would happen to me someday. Now its 2004 and I hope the next leap doesn't take almost 20 years.

Emily keating strolled into the (e:hood) tonight so we went down to the pink. We ended up seeing TK and stickboy and a girl named Rachel who knew stories about me under to alias paul-bob - weird. She was pretty excited to be able to put a face with the name in the memories. So it was Tina, Sarah, Stickboy, flacidness, and Terry at the pink. I found out that stickboy drew his name form nightmares he had.

Maybe he convinced me to get a tattoo of the dot form that I tranform into during my dreams. While everyone else seems to freak out with nightmares, I simply turn into a dot, and then every problem seems to disappear. The dot is better than any other superpower. If you would like to argue about it I will turn into a dot and ignore you, hahaha. Anyways, he told me I should get a dot for a tatto and that the rule is tatoo should be symbols but not words. This seems to be a good rule to live by as you can always reevaluate the the definition of a symbol while words are hard to redefine.

Thank you stickboy.

So amid all of this political drama I decided to check out Shawn's google poetry machine. I think it wrote a great poem about elmwood strip. My favorite part is the last line. See below. I like to think of it as a message the computer gave me to not respond to the national political debate. Why doesn't anyone talk about local politics anyways. We should sponser a live on the net local debate.

Here is the POEM:

definitely ...

in

... brisket
(UK), strip

... the
Luigi revised Carlos
Carlos
York

February 05, 2003
I definitely recommend this place!.

...
Flexible events, Electric At

Next Long it

'Elmwood') discard AMERICA,

P.S. I will not vote this year, I would rather die.