Back in 1995-98 I really loved Goa Music. The German scene was amazing and I spent countless days in fields dancing with hundreds of other people on the same vibe/ I decided now that the reason I find it so entertaining is purely due to the fact that it prodoces sounds which inhibit complete thoughts. The style is segmented computerized and yet earthy. Here is some more info

SO even after working like 10-15 hours a day during vacation, I am still not caught up to where I would like to be. I can't ebliev school starts tomorrow. I am not ready for more stress.

Well, this image which looks like a modern reflection on the children's crusade is so sad. It is obvious that the Israelis are pure evil.


So, a couple weeks after we find out its no longer safe to eat American Beef, we find out its not safe to eat Salmon either. Apparently it is full of PCBs according to a scientific study of many salmon sources. They say you should not eat salmon more than once a month. That is the same rate as the number of fish we are allowed to eat from the great lakes. I wonder, will everyone just become vegetarians or will this controversy just make people think everything is unsafe and thus make them eat whatever, they want - as it is all "just bad."

Does anyone else here remember a time before they saw the world as it is, when they thought that the world was an endless series of social engagements in warehouse style renegade discos. For those of you who do, here is the history of that Scene,

I am in a productive rut. I have no interest in being a machine. At least for this moment.

Today was the deadline to apply for the Canisius teaching position which I am not applying. It was one of those pivotal life moments I suspect. I hope I chose the right path because, I really put serious thought into my decision. My parents really think I messed up bad. I am really rather content with my decision as I do not want to grow old in Buffalo and felt that this was my way out.

I am going to seriously pursue the Italian Citizenship possibility. For the first time in my life, I was depressed today. I should be programming something important but I spend the day making a new kind of script:art I came up with last night.

When I first started, I was very excited, then as time went on and the hours dragged I remembered that I hate script art because I find it meaningless and am never happy with the results. I did, however, learn a considerable amount about php classes.

I wish I had just helped Ben out for free on the reading project. I think it would have taken me all of two days and I have a feeling he is really stressing. But I have to remain strong in my new decision to no longer work for free - unless it is for some social justice cause. I am a very highly skilled individual and I am barely making it in terms of money.

Basically, I don't want to end up making the decision my mother did to be a life long volunteer and never get monetary reimbursement for her work.

Jesse, sent me a recommendation letter for the Canisius position which made me even more sad. It was nice, I would have used it if I had applied.

Basically, I am tired and very sad and school starts again soon. I think that there must be an end to this horrible cycle of hard work, excellent results and no monetary reimbursement. I have a feeling that grades once again don't matter. Just like my undergraduate degree, I have a feeling I am stressing to make sure that I receive an A in everything, only to find out it doesn't make any difference and that I could have had a life and gotten by with a B.

I will be back on top of everything soon.

Last night i saw Emily Keating for the first time in about 4 or 5 years. It was crazy to see her so out of the blue. She seems to be doing good and is living in Ashville. She just got back from traveling around the world and around the country with her boyfriend Evan, who I think may be alergic to everything, something I can appreciate. I was happy to hear that she remembered me talking about a serious erosion of civilian privacy in relation to the government. It all started because I was reading about the new US policy of fingerprinting foreigners at the border.

I started saying about how we are only a step away from tatoos and camps and she said that she rembered having this same conversation years ago. So I guess I don't change much.

Well, I have finally re-found my long lost friend Carmen in California. This picture of us was taken in Flensburg in 1996. We are roasting and eating mushrooms/marshmallows in the school/town forest called volkspark behind the school. The picture on that link page is of the giant watertower, which definately looks like a space ship, especially at night with altered vision.

Looking back on it, I think we are the only people to ever have fires there. I really used that land space, like it was an american forest, but I think it was intended more of a park. Oh well, leave it to the American's to settle use up natural resources.

I really miss her, hopefully, someday she will come to visit us in New York, however, I would recommend waiting until the spring.

She also contacted me through the new site email to alert me of a really funny site that is unfortunately not meant to be satirical.

Presidentialprayerteam.org -



Carmen, you should start a journal.