Mental Health ?
This is very personal and won't prof read it so you may not want to read it............................................................................
So one of the things that is all ways tough to know is how much is to much to share in a blog .... Yes there draft mode and this may go into that mode.......
So Yes there are some things I love about my life taking Pictures, (e:strip)s events, lots of e:peeps, going to wrestling events, some times a concert and Bandits games but alas.....
There has been so much stress at work oh gawd... And when it isn't work caused I'm not happy cause life thoughts come into my head at work... Doesn't help that I have what to me is a very long day... Hey I know some people work longer then my trip to work full day and home but I don't know if my body has ever really handled the job even when I did it as a temp and part time thing for a bit.......
The entire Bug thing still isn't finished... It is a constant battle I've been going through of trying to be neat... Get a room nice and clean then junk mail and stuff builds up and there goes the mess again....
The point I'm trying to get to is it as reminded me of issues I've had before (e:strip).... Wish I would have understood hey being this stressed out... That you don't care anymore means hey got get some help call someone..... Some of these issues have shown up on (e:strip) ... As an example Before a a met a certain e:peep (Again thank you so much for that wish back then I knew I had a problem ) I would plan on going to a party and then not go... Looking back a few years after that and when at Parties I then understood in was stress or anxiety or maybe more that would make me get sleep or so on edge I couldn't handle it....
There have been some changes at work a couple people leaving that made the place a lot of fun.... Just isn't the same with out them... I know I also have a history of losing contact with people for guessing a few reasons .... Sorry they are awesome people .... And yeah I'm sorry for that... Not that they know about this blog or will read it that I know of.... I've even again before being on this site worked with some great people .......
So maybe only 10-15 years late on Tuesday I'm going to Herizon should I be saying this on line even I don't know... And see what they can do.... I'm a bit scared but I need it... See what happens from there... (Child and Family services I took 4 free sessions through work but one issue is kinda hard to get to so had to get a ride from my mother didn't want to burden sister and niece with that...... I just wish at the end they would have like said or given me a next step .... I wish going there would have worked but alas I think I need more)
Should I be putting my issues on a public blog site..... Guessing not but getting it out I think is a good idea....... But won't be putting this on twitter or facebook that is for sure.....
One of my problems is I'm of two minds... What I mean is ... I know so many people have it worse then I do... but so many people have amazing lives and at my age some of that is really tough to deal with... someone I went to high school with kids are graduating ... Stuff like that I can't deal with.... Wait that is a bad example.. There is a part of me that wishes faith no wrong word that something would happen that I have no choice... Like they lock me up... Or I get fired....But I also think that second mindness is from something I have but we shall see what they say on Tuesday....
In the past I have had what I guess is common called Sunday Depression and I've thought that my life depresses me... and maybe there is no fix for that.... Yes I'm often very happy ... But so many times I'm "Just OK" when I should be happy...... Guess I end it here...
So one of the things that is all ways tough to know is how much is to much to share in a blog .... Yes there draft mode and this may go into that mode.......
So Yes there are some things I love about my life taking Pictures, (e:strip)s events, lots of e:peeps, going to wrestling events, some times a concert and Bandits games but alas.....
There has been so much stress at work oh gawd... And when it isn't work caused I'm not happy cause life thoughts come into my head at work... Doesn't help that I have what to me is a very long day... Hey I know some people work longer then my trip to work full day and home but I don't know if my body has ever really handled the job even when I did it as a temp and part time thing for a bit.......
The entire Bug thing still isn't finished... It is a constant battle I've been going through of trying to be neat... Get a room nice and clean then junk mail and stuff builds up and there goes the mess again....
The point I'm trying to get to is it as reminded me of issues I've had before (e:strip).... Wish I would have understood hey being this stressed out... That you don't care anymore means hey got get some help call someone..... Some of these issues have shown up on (e:strip) ... As an example Before a a met a certain e:peep (Again thank you so much for that wish back then I knew I had a problem ) I would plan on going to a party and then not go... Looking back a few years after that and when at Parties I then understood in was stress or anxiety or maybe more that would make me get sleep or so on edge I couldn't handle it....
There have been some changes at work a couple people leaving that made the place a lot of fun.... Just isn't the same with out them... I know I also have a history of losing contact with people for guessing a few reasons .... Sorry they are awesome people .... And yeah I'm sorry for that... Not that they know about this blog or will read it that I know of.... I've even again before being on this site worked with some great people .......
So maybe only 10-15 years late on Tuesday I'm going to Herizon should I be saying this on line even I don't know... And see what they can do.... I'm a bit scared but I need it... See what happens from there... (Child and Family services I took 4 free sessions through work but one issue is kinda hard to get to so had to get a ride from my mother didn't want to burden sister and niece with that...... I just wish at the end they would have like said or given me a next step .... I wish going there would have worked but alas I think I need more)
Should I be putting my issues on a public blog site..... Guessing not but getting it out I think is a good idea....... But won't be putting this on twitter or facebook that is for sure.....
One of my problems is I'm of two minds... What I mean is ... I know so many people have it worse then I do... but so many people have amazing lives and at my age some of that is really tough to deal with... someone I went to high school with kids are graduating ... Stuff like that I can't deal with.... Wait that is a bad example.. There is a part of me that wishes faith no wrong word that something would happen that I have no choice... Like they lock me up... Or I get fired....But I also think that second mindness is from something I have but we shall see what they say on Tuesday....
In the past I have had what I guess is common called Sunday Depression and I've thought that my life depresses me... and maybe there is no fix for that.... Yes I'm often very happy ... But so many times I'm "Just OK" when I should be happy...... Guess I end it here...
