"The power of the mind to create and recreate, to make something into a reality is amazing" (e:dimartiste,51)

exactly.

Anything is possible, if you want it bad enough.

Breathe it, smell it, taste it, feel it, try it on for size.. make it yours and it will be..

but you need to want it bad enough..

You need to know where you've been and where you want to go..

see it in your mind and heart.. close your eyes and SEE it. Use your senses.. BE it.

Make it yours.

When you want something bad enough, you understand that it is a process.. things change, direction turns, the end result may be different than what you first visualized..

or it may be exactly what you want..

either way, it is your passion, drive, intellect, and unwavering belief and confidence in yourself that will get you to where you want to go.. get you to just where you need to be.

Anything is possible...

Nothing is impossible.

I used to call it Brain Poo (C)- those posts created after digesting thoughts, information, ideas and observations of no significant value OR as the condensed end product of something that I had been thinking about that was worthwhile, but did not have the ambition to write it out.

Posts as of late are more of a Mental Sloughing (C); just getting rid of the ridiculous thoughts and observations NOW, so I can have a fresh brain for more significant writing matters (ie school and other responsibilities). I look back on these entries and think, what the heck am I writing about and why?

So, earler today I was comparing the difference between AOL instant messenger and Yahoo! Messenger. It isn't a secret that I prefer Yahoo! to most everything: email, search engine, messenger, beta testing, pictures etc. I have both YM and AIM. Yet I primarily use AIM, because most everyone I know uses AIM/AOL. But I think AIM is sub par to other messengers.

For example, YM saves messages sent to you while you were 'away'. Very nice, seeing as I often have my away message up and there have been plenty of times that I come home to find that somehow my computer shut down or shut off AIM-- therefor losing any messages. Ofcourse, if it is important, most people would know to call or send an email. But often there are just 'in the moment' fun messages that would not warrant bothering with an email.. and you want them.. simple amusement.

Anyway, I have pretty much figured out a way to keep AIM going strong all day long (even though everyone should switch to YM!). The funny thing is, is that I have friends that have thought I was home from work as my 'movement' on AIM would vary from 'away' to 'idle' to 'no longer idle'-- and this even in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping. Perhaps I use the computer in my sleep. I almost wouldnt doubt it! So, whats going on here? I live alone, my doors are locked so there is no one coming and going or using my computer at any point during the day/night. The only ones home are my two kitties-- and I doubt they would be surfing the net, right??

Then I mused over the thought of Joey being online, looking at Kitty Porn. My cat Joe is a character, that is why he makes a regular appearance in my posts. My furry Mosquito Slayer is always getting into trouble and making me laugh. He has a sister, Kayla. She is super sweet and usually only gets into trouble when her brother leads her into it. Atleast that is what I always thought.

Little did I know, that when I left earlier today (and returned shortly after) that the mystery surrounding my phantom AIM use would be solved:



(does not know I see her..)


uh oh


Busted.

Now sure who she was chatting with.. ;)


later, I caught Joe sitting in front of the compuer as well, but I think he was innocently intrigued by the default windows screen saver.




I'm nuts-- need ot get out again this weekend. I am debating on whether to be naughty or behave myself...

Maybe I will have it figured out by the time I finish my glass of wine

Night peeps, be well.

Was highly encouraged to go to Caputis after class to meet up with a slew of friends from work. Im there now. Two Heineken darks later and I am ready to go. Noone will allow me to misbehave! Word of caution, don't dare me to do anything you don't really want me to do! I've made history with some of the pranks I've pulled! (or been dared to do...) Friends were reminiscing over one in particular. Sometimes it fun to hear the same story over and over.
I also didn't ming the crazy welcome I received walking in the door. Happy faces, enthusiastic cheers of "CAREY!!!!!!!!" and someone giving me cake. Notr even sure who it was, haha. hmm Jim Steak Out is across the street.... and Mighty Taco is a few blocks aways.. mmmmmmm mighty taco.. migthy tasty.. I am there...


later:
It was a very interesting day. I think I will keep it to myself for now. Its all too deep for me to write about.

Its good to be home. I am so tired, as it was a long day and I am running on 5 hours of sleep. I finished my portfolio and can now focus on the last few school projects.

three weeks to go...

I just climbed into bed-- snuggled into my pillows and Bob (stuffed turtle), tired but not quite ready for sleep. With Sun Tzu's The ARt of War in one hand, and the tv channel set to South Park.. I am thinking this is a quirky combination; but thats me. WOnder what my dreams will be like tonight???

Commercial: "Im always up for a good time, and I get it on Hardline" haha Its about damn time!!! Late night tv is usually replete with telephone sex ads featuring girls. Now the commercials are all half naked men. right on!

I need sleep..

but first, a chapter in The Art of War and the remainder of the Baby Cow episode of South Park. "if you don't eat meat, you break out into vaginas" what??? haha


Good night and Happy Friday :)

oh my goodness

crunch time tonight.

I am finishing my Portfolio tonight; it must be handed in tomorrow.

I have section one completed-- select individual assignments from each class, cover sheet, table of contents, etc etc etc All of it took a lot longer than I planned on. Its taken days.. But that part is done and looks damn good.

I am still working on section two-- the paper. I am taking a very personal approach to it. I have a list of deliverables, which I will address, but I am exerting my creative flair. I am integrating a certain level of personal honesty and reflection to this section that would require it to be written in more lay terms for it to be done justice. Section One is full of specifics and the Masters language. I am making section two alll about me. Will it fly? Not sure.. but that is the approach I have decided to take.

Maybe I will even put in a plug for (e:strip), seeing as it has been my experimental public blog--initially written in for the purpose to see if I can be more 'open'. There were many 'tools' involved, but this mean has some of it chronicled.

Without going into it at this time.. I used to be very reserved-- it was difficult to pry anything out of me.

skip to--> you've read my posts, haha. I am not an open book, but I seem to write them on occasion. Before, that would be kept stricly to my personal paper journal. The craziest and juiciest of it all still goes in there..

Maybe one day I will trascribe ALL OF IT and make it publicly available. Word count will shoot up a few million..

eek.. one step at a time Carey. baby steps...

Anyway, this post may not make any sense. I am rambling yet am trying to clear my head for the next round of writing. I have already hit my page minimum, um, 4 pages ago... but my segue into the topic went on for pages and pages. I am telling a bit of a story before I get to the meat of the paper. It is relevant.. but I need to wrap it up soon. Its late, I am tired.. Thursdays are super long for me... but I have to keep going. Its due tomorrow.

And I havent procrastinated.. it has all just taken a lot of time.

3.5 weeks to go...

Then what?

:)

Feeling lazy and kinda hot. Dishes are dirty and I have too much to do to be bothered with taking time to cook. So, I declare that I don't intend to cook anything today; although if I were, it would be something from the scrumptious list of dill recipes (e:theecarey,221) provided by the following thoughtful (e:peeps):

(e:ladycroft)-- I never thought to just toss a bit on top of just about anything. I have some experimenting to do. And yes, ofcourse I will share!! :)

(e:zobar) --I love tzatziki! HAHA, that is my kind of recipe! If I throw this and that together it will form this.. I can follow that logic. Tzatziki, here I come..

But if I really want it to turn into tzatziki, maybe I will try the detailed recipe route. I have learned that not all of my creations or 'very loosely followed' recipes turn out spectacula..or edible. Thanks (e:dragonlady7) :) btw, I feel kinda silly asking.. but how do I start a new crop of dill? I think mine has gone to seed (thats where the flowery things are on top, right?).. and I have plenty of room to grow more if I know what I am doing.

(e:leetee) hmmmm dill butter sounds good. I think I could handle that. ooh, especially with corn season..

(e:pyrcedgrrl) failed to mention that the Noodle Recipe is all that she thinks I can aspire to. "I thought you might try the noodles.. how bad can you fuck up noodles??" heh.. I am quite capable of fucking up anything in the kitchen, pardon my language. Ive burned, melted and exploded cookware. And annihilated food.

Maybe I'll try making the butter first ;)

oh Daaannnnnnnaaaaaaaaa, I have two eggplants in my fridge, waiting for you to come over and make babaganoush.. its been almost a year.....

So, thank you very much, peeps! I appreciate the time all of you took to help me out, as (e:mrmike) said, in the great pickle I found myself in. har har.

I recall making pickles as a kid. Didnt have anything like a dill-crock as (e:jenks) mentioned. We made them from home grown cukes and sliced them up with the herbs and other seasonings before tossing them into the freezer. Now I need to ask my mom about the recipe.

My herbs are growing really well; they are not cooking in this heat yet. Basil smells so good, as does the lavender and lemon balm. I love the mint as well-- it makes my nose tingle.

(e:libertad) , which herbs are your bunny's favorite?

I have basil, lemon basil, oregeno, parsley, sage, dill, lavender, rosemary, thyme, mint, ornage mint, chocolate-orange mint, spearmint, catnip (?? stuff I made mojitos with, haha), stevia, maybe more..

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! Friday night (e:pyrcedgrrl) and I stopped at Wegmans. We raided the produce aisle and looky what I found, to my delight and to the confusion of other shoppers:







(WIKIPEDIA - Lychee)


Lychee nuts. Juicy!

(e:ladycroft) and I scoured New York state last year looking for these damn fruits. Nice that we can finally buy fresh ones..

Got a few stories here..

Friday evening theme: If you build it, they will come. Or.. if you set chairs around the table you are sitting at, (e:peeps) (and others) will come. Gorgeous night, good company and conversation. Just what I needed.. yay!

Saturday: drove out to a beach party out on Erie lake in Chautauqua county-- Irving, I think, --not Cattaraugus county as (e:mrmike) informed me :) Stayed for a few hours-- enough to say hello, relax, eat and have a drink. I knew it was my time to go as the conversations were humorous only to those that were drunk. I had no intentions of drinking, so I headed out.

I went straight into Buffalo with the plan to sit at Spot with my schoolbooks (I figured that I have been doing so well staying focused that it just might be possible to actually do school work at Spot). Right after I parked, I turned the car back on and headed out to see (e:kangarooboi,31) at his temporary abode on the Boulevard. He wouldnt allow me to set a fire in the room to see if the sprinkler system worked. It was hot in there.. but thats what happens when you set the temperature contol to "low warm" and not "low cool" haha



For the record, I am no longer a Crackhead Barrel virgin.

rather, Cracker Barrel. I think Crackhead Barrel is more fitting. I want their french toast RIGHT NOW. There were millions of people waiting to get in to eat. The food is homey and I imagine that it would be perfect the day after a night of insane debauchery.


This game stressed me out. I was an 'eg-nor-amoose' more than a few times. Might have been a 'genius' once, not sure.. It was more fun to try to see how many golf-tee's we could keep in the wooden block.


While (e:kangarooboi) and I waited to be seated (which didn't take long at all), we walked around their country store- full of chotchsky and candy. Oh, and clothes.

And this: Baby Devil Dolls!!!!





who'd play with something like that???? I think those horns were actually molded to be little pony tails. They look like horns to me.

• shiver* things that nightmares are made of.

We had just been talking about scary stuff. I admit to fearing:

clowns-- you love them!








spiders..






eek! a horde of babies. Something about a pile of babies does not warm my heart. weird? I don't care..







this kind of monkey freaks me out..




e! ew! ew!

I must get those images out of my head before bed..
oh, I know!!
one more little story..

Got a sweet tooth, honey??

It isn't unusual for me to come home from work with gummie bears, smarties, pieces of pretel and other candy variations in my pocket. Usually the confections are kept in a sandwhich bag and carried around throughout the work day as an easily delivered positive reinforcer for behavior modification purposes.

Different kids like different things, so there is usually a mix of candy in the baggie. I saw a bunch of round candies in the bag and took them to be all Skittles-- a favorite among a majority of the kiddos. I began to empty the bag into the garbage when I saw that there was some chocolate bits in there as well. Upon closer inspection, I realized I have a baggie of Skittles and M&M's

so??


Well, to my amusement, I then realized that I have a bag of
S & M's.. hahaha







Now its time for bed..

Here's to a happy Monday, everyone!

~carey

My little break is over... I gave/allowed/forced myself to take a break from all school related projects and thinking. It was at times hard not to think about it, and quite a few times I felt out of place, as I have become accustomed to working steadily at everything. It just felt weird to stop, not have a book in front of me, computer turned off and miles away and not doing anything productive.

blahblahblah
blahblah

blah

so I must get back to it shortly.

ick, there is a family issue to contend with before I get into a little house cleaning-paper writing. I think I dreampt about it last night. More about that mess later...

I have a few pics to post later as well. I'll post a pic of the devil babydoll I saw. *shiver*

clowns, spider monkeys, spiders and babies are scary.

what going on tonight? im in cattaragous county on lake erie i plan to leaue 7-8 ish text-call (deleted)

Yeh, I can't draw with this thing quite yet.

I'm not a fan of sweetened tea. I went through the drive up Starbucks around the corner from my college.. I tried sipped my tea only once I arrived to class. Its sweetened. Yuck. I'm drinking it anyway; worse things could happen :)

My flowers look scorched. If nothing else I have been tending to my flowers. I deadhead them, pull the occasional weed and water my beauties almost daily.

Yesterday I gave them all a good drink-- and by 4:30 pm today, they look wilted. I need to get back outside and take care of them, pronto.

My garden spots look like a jungle as everything is overgrown and needs to be divided and replanted. I had hoped to have been able to take care of that a few weeks ago, but now the opportunity is gone-- I need to wait it out a few more weeks before I can clean it up a bit. (e:matthew), when you are finally in your new home and settled-- I will share anything that you want.

I even have half a dozen bush/tree/plants that need to be planted. However, I do not see that happening until the end of summer., either. They are holding up well in their pots so far.

If- When I move, I will be digging a lot of plants out of the ground. I have accumulated so many in the past two summers. I have a knack for growing things outside. Just don't let me near an indoor plant...

My next home, which I would rather be in a position to buy (preferably B-Lo) as opposed to rent-- 'cause my apartment now is great for the rent price, size, privacy, etc.. and as I have too much 'house' stuff to just move into any old place.. I must have a little bit of a yard to plant my jungle. I don't like things to be overly manicured. I like it kinda wild- yet with some planning to it. I make things look nice-- I just don't need or want a cookie cutter look.

I imagine a smallish yard for my secret garden.. er, secret jungle? And a place to sit, read, write, drink wine, socialize and escape into the smells, sight and ambiance of nature.

So although I also wanted to put in a vegetable garden this year and was not able to, I managed to put in an herb garden. I have a bunch of different herbs lining a huge built in flower box that runs the length of my front porch. It great to cook something and just step out the door to snip some fresh herbs. Yum. I have used everything that I have planted so far except the Dill.

Now, What do I do with dill??? besides make a dill dip???

any ideas???????????????????????????????


I am clueless! (e:kara) ?????? help!!!! :)

ooh, while i am thinking about it.. (e:ladycroft) remember-- you must let me know what your schedule looks like in general. :)


I better get back outside and do some watering.. then its school work. surprised? nah, me either.

I'm on top of things though yay!