Category: movies
02/12/07 10:25 - 24ºF - ID#38107
Reno 911
"Reno 911- Miami" The MOVIE!!
February 23.. check out the trailer :)
I'm looking forward to seeing this!
Permalink: Reno_911.html
Words: 22
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: silliness
02/08/07 01:47 - 16ºF - ID#38068
sugar is sweet
A splendidly productive and rejuvinating week. I have been working on multiple projects- some to completion as others are still in the process. Either way it has all been a really good time. Every day I am thankful for the energy, ambition and creativity to delve into the many projects that are co existing. I am a little confused on a couple of them, but all in all I am excited about everthing in my life. Even my dreams of past situations have a positive edge to them. Everywhere I look, I am just so fascinated.
Along with the creative process, I have been cooking and baking more. It isn't that I can't or don't, but it is generally only an occasional endeavor. I prefer to create over following a recipe- as part of the process is to have fun AND enjoy the end result. Often its a little bit of both. I loosely follow a recipe and rely on creative inspiration. Friends and family have put in requests, which I will be happy to oblige them. Cookies had been the big thing as of late. I will be working on a soup soon, and then perhaps home made pizza. Something sweet will be amongst all of that too, ofcourse.
The weather is perfect for making good food, slowing down and relaxing. During this cold weather I have not ventured very far. As I tend to 'run cold', even with layers of clothing, sometimes I can't shake the chill. Funny that I love outdoor adventures and this season. I think I am most effected by the indoor temps and when I am not moving around much. I am fortunate to have a very warm apartment. It holds in the heat well and I am able to set the thermostat lower and still have the air register 6 degrees warmer than it is set. A cozy fireplace adds to the sense of warmth. hmmm wood! Oh and soft flannel sheets.
I have been parking my car in my garage, I am sure the engine and battery are happy for it. This has also been helpful for my neighbor who comes over and plows my driveway. I have a very long driveway and he always does the whole thing. When my car is sitting out, it is probably more effortful to get around it. I would like to do something nice as a thank-you for the plowing efforts. I thought that while I still had baking ingredients, that a dozen cookies might be a nice token of thanks. Besides, all of my visitors of late have been inquiring, "do you have any cookies left?"
So I proceeded to put together the necessary ingredients to make cookie batter. I intended to make a large pan of "cookie bars" as opposed to dropping dough on the flat sheet in blobs. The bars would be fun to have and just as yummy.
I have the baking ingredients in a bag that I keep in my basement pantry. I rarely use sugar or flour for anything else. I usually try to keep a small baggie or container of sugar available for friends and family who use it in their coffee and tea, otherwise I just wouldnt have any. I had a small plastic butter spead container filled with sugar for just that purpose. When I recently cleaned out my cupboards, I noticed that I had yet another container of sugar. It was a small clear container with a piece of tape on it with 'sugar' written on it with a marker. I recalled that I had brought this container home from work almost two years ago. The classroom I was working in had needed to pack everything up for a move to another building. We decided not to take most of the cooking and art supplies with us, so instead of throwing them out, I took a box full of stuff home. I didn't know what was in the box until I brought it home. Food coloring, vinegar, frosting, markers, glue, container of sugar and a few other items comprised the contents of the box. I don't recall exactly what i didn't with everything, but apparently I held onto the small container of sugar, as I still had it two years later. As I cleaned out the cupboards a couple of weeks ago, I thought of tossing it out, but then decided against it, as the sugar was still smooth and fine. It hadn't hardned like sugar often does. I figured the container was full and the seal was tight, so no air escaped or made its way in.
When I have a bag of sugar that is open yet I am done with it for the time being, I tape the bag it came in closed then place it in a large ziplock bag- and take any other precautions to maintain freshness. WHo knows when I will need sugar again. I prefer to buy just the baking ingredients I need, as often there is quite a bit of time in between baking adventures. My intentions around Christmas were to bake, which never happened, so I was well supplied for my recent cookie extravaganza.
After making multiple dozens of cookies a few weeks ago, I surprised myself that I would think to make more so soon. I was also pleased that I still had indredients to use up. I brought the bag of ingredients back upstairs and into the kitchen. Music is playing in the background and I dance around the kitchen gathering bowls, measuring cups and paper towels to clean my mess as I go.
The first thing I do after softening the butter is to add the sugars. I re open the bag of brown sugar and dump in a half cup of firmply packed brown sweetness. I then turn to the white sugar to do the same. I look at the nice tape job and as I was about to tear through it, I remembered the container of sugar I recently located. I proceed to pull that out of the cupboard and add the necessary amount to the bowl. Then I remembered that I was making a double batch for the 'cookie bars' and would need to go back and add more of everything. Done, no problem. I finish off the rest of the recipe and thoroughly hand mix my creation. I always have to taste the cookie dough- I hadn't yet added the chips, as I like the taste of plain dough.
I take just a tiny amount and place it on my tongue, expected the sweetness to slide over my taste buds and tease me with thoughts of what yumminess was yet to come.
Then my taste buds recoiled in alarm. Something was not right! Did I not mix the batter well enough? I felt like I just placed straight baking soda on my tongue. I began to spit. I stood over the kitchen sink and turned the water on. I quickly cupped water into my mouth, swished and spit. I repeated this process many times without effect. Its briny, salty, sickening thick and.. and...salty! I felt like my tongue was a slug that just had salt poured on it and was beginning to shrivel up. My imagination is always looking for opportunities to jump in and it was loving this! Swishing, spittingand gagging continued. In a moment of desperation or hilarity, I took to dragging my finger nails down my tongue. I scraped and clawed at the unwelcome substance. GAH! dammit, why don't I have a tongue scraper?? (e:oda) had just posted about them. In hindsight I could have grabbed a spoon, as (e:paul) mentioned, but it never cross my mind. Holding my tongue in one hand, scraping at it with the other, while bent over the kitchen sink and uner the flow of running cool water would be the image I am to share with you.
Although the sharp pungent taste has receded a bit, I continued to feel gross and shiver from the experience. I needed to get the remaining brinyness out fo my mouth for good. I opened the cupboard and grabbed a box of Cheeries and dumped a handful into my mouth. I munched on the little cruchy circles with the intention of replaceing one taste with another. I polished it off with a small cup of juice. I sighed in relief as I no longer had what felt like a mouthful of salt in my mouth. Now I could investigate the source more thoroughly.
I pushed and pulled the spoon around the bowl a few more times, ensuring the contents were well meshed. I dipped my finger into the dough, and gingerly placed the tinest amount on my tongue. As my tonuge just through quite an ordeal, I didn't want to swallow and have the same reaction. Besides, my taste buds were able to quickly recognize that the same assalut will result("Asalt" haha har-har scored me some pun points). I spit out the obnoxious dropping and stared at the offending bowl. wtf??
I added everything that I needed to and in the correct amounts. Then I looked at the clear container marked, "sugar". hmm. Do I dare try the contents of that container straight up? My investigative mind prompts me to follow through on this thought.
Just a little now.. I use my pinky finger to pick up just a few white chrystals. I bring my finger to my mouth and bust out laughing when the mystery is solved. The unsuspecting container of 'sugar', is in fact a container of SALT!!!
hahahahaha. So there was more than a cup of salt in the dough!! Grosssssssss!
And, rightfully so, my delicated little taste buds were skeptical of all food for the remainder of the night.
I scooped the contents of the bowl into the garbage and trashed the container of salt as well.
My token of thanks will have to come in a different form at another time. Can you imagine if I hadn't taste tested the batter??
oy!
Permalink: sugar_is_sweet.html
Words: 1955
Location: Youngstown, NY
02/06/07 12:44 - 10ºF - ID#38037
Thank You
- yawn* I'm up and back online. I'm just laying down to go to sleep and these words begin to float into my thoughts. Funny how that happens. Sometimes it is a song or a commercial jingle that gets stuck in there after hearing it earlier in the day and it continually plays a loop. I have never not known what it was or where it came from. However with this, I wasnt sure what the words were at first or where it came from. It was kind of random, "my world it smiles.."
Its a Zeppelin song. wow, the last time I heard this song was in the mid- 90's. If I think back accurately, I want to say late 1994, memories from another life time. Zeppelin is cool.. I think I will dig through my cassettes (still got some) or hit up Lime Wire for more.
And so, I post the lyrics (and new user sound) to...
"Thank You"
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.
Kind of woman, I give you my all; Kind of woman, nothing more.
Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of love lost in the days gone by.
My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,
together we shall go until we die. My, my, my,
inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.
And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,
And thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.
Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad.
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you
Mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.
heading back to bed, with a song playing in my head.. sweet dreams, stay warm :)
Permalink: Thank_You.html
Words: 396
Location: Youngstown, NY
02/04/07 10:46 - 4ºF - ID#38019
my only kinda sorta sports post
Ever find yourself dressed for 90 degree weather and walk into 60 degree AC restaurant- just to shiver for the duration of the meal. It feels good only for the first few minutes. Why think to carry a heavy sweater on a muggy day? Anyway, this went through my mind as I gratefully wrapped my scarf around my neck and pulled my hat on. Atleast my body heat (or lack of) was prepared for re entry into the sub temps.
I had an order of grapeleaves and a shish kebob sandwhich, sans skewer (I peeked under the flat bread). I love grapeleaves, dolmades, whatever they are called. To Haileys dismay, I tainted her lemon chicken rice soup with my germs. It was yummy- Just a little protein, dear. I think I will take a stab at creating my own chicken and something soup. lentil? rice? barley? --veggies, especially spinach will be added--. I've had a request to make more cookies. omg!! The second batch I made was with milk chocolate chips, much better than the first batches- made with semi sweet. Cooking/baking is amusing in this weather. I should have grabbed eggplant while at the Co-Op today. Hmmmm so many yummy dishes can be created with eggplant. Babaganoush!
Superbowl. ugh. I don't like football. I don't like to pretend that I do and I tend to bail out on all football related festivities. I always appreciate the offers.. but I am the odd one out among a bunch of football fans. There are plenty of sports that I like and can get all excited about, but football is not one of them. I know. I tried. I even went to many highschool and college games back in the day. I usually just spent each quarter flirting. Honestly, its too slow, not enough action or blood or bruises. Hmmm, now Rugby- there is not nearly enough of the game to be seen, too bad, since that totally fits my sport watching needs- followed by hockey. Lacross is fun too. I remember watching bowling as a kid, haha.
Now, with the superbowl- its just too much for me to handle. I love a good commercial, but I wont put myself through listening to the sounds of football just to hope for a commercial. The food part of it has merit and the chilling with friends-- but if they are obsessed, and rightfully so, then what do I do.. bring a book? :)
I am bummed that I missed Prince. He is amazing.. but even that i can probably find at some point on You Tube.
good night,
stay warm!
Permalink: my_only_kinda_sorta_sports_post.html
Words: 500
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: me me me
02/03/07 10:28 - 15ºF - ID#38000
'69' See what you started?? w/ more pics
69 confession questions
I should probably change the answers, huh?
btw, the picture montage was an after thought. I had one pic, then suddenly thought it a great idea to add a bunch more. haha, not like I am out doing anything anyways..
1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
Someone who has a winning lottey ticket in one hand and a bag of Thai-take out in the other, who's calling to say they are on their way over to share both with me.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes I do. Often the cart-boys intercept me and my cart returning attempts. The first time that happened, I was like, "why are you following me". haha. But yeh, I always return the cart.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
listener, unless hyped up on / cracked out on caffeine, then talk talk talk boing boing boing talk talk talk
shut up, care.
4. Do you take compliments well?
yes i do, thank you.
5. Do you play Sudoku?
omg yes. Where's my pencil? gotta play NOW
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
yes I would..I make friends with bears and they wont eat me. right?
8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Boy scout camp, .
oh wait, thats (e:mrmike) 's answer hehehehe ;)
9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
"spy". It was a game I made up with neighborhood kids. Also made up a game called "burning barn". Lots of imagination for those ones. Board games: RaggedyAnn and Andy, Go Fish, Uncle Wiggly, Hungry Hungy Hippo.
10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you?
We are talking right now? no, I wouldnt. There are plenty of sexy singles..
12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
date? yes..
13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
both. I've targeted.. and have been targeted. Its fun either way. I want to be pursued at the present time, though.
14. Use three words to describe yourself?
just three? adventurous, confident, child-like (playful!!)
15. Do any songs make you cry?
hmmm.. can't think of any songs..
i know some commercials do.
16. Are you continuing your education?
whether formally or informally- from a book or the back of a shampoo bottle, the answer is always!
17. What's the last letter of your middle name?
e.
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
My kitties!
19. How often do you read books?
Daily
20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
right here and now.
21. What is your favorite children's book?
Johnny Lion, Richard Scarry's dictionary
yeh, and I still like dictionaries
22. What color are your eyes?
deep brown
23. How tall are you?
flat foot: five nine and a half.
24. Where is your dream house located?
how about multiple dream houses.. one can be located here.
Snagged from a friend who went to Peurto Rico last year. Thanks :)
25. Best vacay ever?
Colorado was fun, so was my mini vac in NYC.
However, the best is yet to come!
26. What is your favorite time of day?
I don't have a favorite- I love the whole day and night!
27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth
Frizzies of course!
28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Gah, too long. Reminds me, I have a gift certificate for there to use! :)
29. How about the movies?
ahhhh, its been awhile for that too. An Inconvenient Truth with (e:pyrcedgrrl)
30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
seriously? I made it out to the end of my front porch, turned my ass around and got right back into my apartment. Plans to head back to B-Lo were quickly aborted.
32. Do you like mustard?
OOOOH deep confession. Yeh, sure. I like them all. Especially when dunking soft hot pretzl in it. yum..
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
eh, its 50 50 here. How about I eat then go take a nap. Its a deep freeze out there- lets all eat and hibernate!
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
very much like both.
Dad is 6' something buff, dark hair, dark eyes.
mom is 5'7" petite, blond hair with green
but I am perfectly morphed between the two
35. How long does it take you in the shower?
how long does it take me to do what???
the answer will vary..
36. Can you do a split?
yes, although usually not perfectly on purpose. My best are while XC skiing or hiking through muddy spots
37. What movie do you want to see right now?
The Secret, Pursuit of Happyness, Because I Said So, Epic Movie.. sure there is a bunch more.
39. What did you do for New Year's?
Sweety Dahling- don't you know?? I drank a bottle and a half of champagne, dressed up in my polyester finest: purple and red plaid polyester pant suit, smoked a fag and flirted with all the men at the Mansion!
40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
didn't see it. I need to go see more movies. Reminds me, I have a gift certificate to use :)
41. Do you laugh a lot?
i hope so! laughing is great!
42. Do you own a camera phone?
indeed i do.
44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
ahh, I think so.
speaking of cheerleading, I had old cheerleader chants playing in my head earlier. It was a bizarre flashback! "we got that beat, from our head down to our feet.. "
45. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
what kind? staple gun, yes. water gun yes. paint gun yes. A shot gun or any other firearm, no.
Reminds me, I've got a gift certificate to use.. :)
- chuckle* see qs 41
46. how many hours of sleep do you get a night?
8-9
47. Do you watch MTV?
no. Used to when they played videos.
48. Do you like care bears?
of course I do. carey= care= carebear
49. What do you buy at the movies?
movie tickets
50. Do you know how to play poker?
no
51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
always
I was financially reinforced to do so as a kid; it stuck with me.
52. What do you wear to sleep?
typically: draw string pants/ shorts, tank top.
53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
speeding tickets. Level Regatta. Kick ass book and rummage sales
54. How many meals do you eat a day?
1,3, 6, 9, 18..whatever I feel like.
55. Is your tongue pierced?
no.
56. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?
depends on who is posting them
57. Most visited webpage?
here!!!!!
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
seriously funny people.
59. Ever been to L.A.?
Lockport Area?
60. Did you eat a cookie today?
I did!!
61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
i prefer to
62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
should I publicly incriminate myself?
63. Do you hate chocolate?
oh its awful! duh, how can it be "hated"?
64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
we don't fight.
65. Are you a gullible person?
nah..
66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
needed? no.
67. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be? writer, artist, creator,
68. Are you easy to get along with?
yeh
69. Coolest picture?
can't pic just one.
update: I went through "my media" over the past couple of years and selected a few highlights..
have some cake ;)
still my favorite pic:
carey attacked by random pirates outside of Spot on elmwood
always a fave:
ok, this was amusing. thanks!
Permalink: _69_See_what_you_started_w_more_pics.html
Words: 1336
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: mental sloughing
02/02/07 05:55 - 27ºF - ID#37970
searching
I am a bit antsy this evening. Part of me wanting to call friends over for a gathering, or seek out some social interaction (offers are a plenty, but not feeling any of it) and part of me just wanting to read. My brain is bouncing with ideas and making connections. Its operating extremely well right now and the need to feed it is pulling me in. So if that is the case, I would do well with going with whatever direction I feel drawn to.-- and let everything else go. There is time and place for everything else.
and for things that can not be attended to until Monday- I need to drop it from my mind. It will be taken care of then, with ease. so..
let it go let it go let it go..
gone.
ok, I'm totally open; unless something comes up, comes to me, I am staying in. I look forward to reading for a few hours followed by a movie- comedy, ofcourse!
Friday evening is looking good to me.
stay warm!
Permalink: searching.html
Words: 307
Location: Youngstown, NY
02/01/07 10:35 - 27ºF - ID#37959
Hello Smallville Humidifiers
(e:deeglam) -I love Hello Kitty! I used to have an insane obsession with her. It began in my little kiddo years, escalated in my mid twenties, and has since greatly dropped off- but only in the actual accumulation of the little pink cutie. Many times I have had to refrain from buying- household appliances, telephones, and other objects of crazy cuteness. Jeezus even the vibrator is darling. I would sooo buy a Hello Kitty Humidifier!! I only have a few lingering items left of my collection (pencils, bracelets, car trash bag,), but will always have a special place in my heart for the Hello Kitty crew.
I didn't buy this humidifier:
hehe cute!
but I did buy this one today:
not so cute, but its totally doing its job! woo!
I bought the Hunter brand evaporative humidifier. I did not see any warm mist humidifiers, (e:zobar) - so I chose among the many cool mist varieties. I read the box, liked what it said and made my purchase:
* Low Maintenance. (cool, I dig low maintenance)
* Save up to $45 a year. (??)
* PermaWick Filter never needs replacement. (ah, thats why I save $$)
* Antimicrobial Properties inhibit the growth of bacteria, mold and fungi on filter and plastic parts. (I prefer not to be moldy. cool)
* Exclusive NiteGlo Night Light perfect for bedrooms. (I don't sleep with a night light, but since this will be in my living room, I just might opt for the ambiant glo..)
* Humidifies 1175 Square Feet (I could have opted for a 3500 sq foot version, but it was way more expensive, gigantic and I am pretty sure this size will do the job. I have a hydrogmeter- it has already increased from 21% to 33% humidity. yay!
Some more info incase anyone is curious/looking..
Features:
* Patented Anti-Microbial Properties in key plastic parts and wicks
that inhibit the growth of bacteria, mold, and fungi.
* Regulated Releaseā¢ System eliminates stagnant water in reservoir.
* No white dust that can settle on furnishings or be inhaled.
* Perma-Wick permanent filter that never needs replacing, saving time and money.
* Pump System. Water flows from the top to saturate the entire PermaWick filter, expediting moisture output and preventing mineral residue build-up.
* Ultra-quiet, 3-Speed Hunter Fan. Radial blower design delivers maximum moisture with minimum noise.
* Limited 5 year warranty.
* Exclusive NiteGlo nightlight feature - separate ON/OFF switch.
* Exclusive ToteAway Tank. Balanced for easy transport. Extra large tank opening makes refilling simple in the bathtub or sink.
* Dishwasher-safe, Easy-Clean Base and Tank.
Low Maintenance
Both the plastic parts and the permanent PermaWick filter have antimicrobial properties to inhibit growth of bacteria, mold and fungi that may affect these parts. In independent laboratory tests, the built-in antimicrobial properties were shown to inhibit the growth of bacteria on the plastic parts and the PermaWick filter.
Why should you use the HunterCare Free Plus?
* Prevents dry, itchy skin
* Relieves chapped lips
* Relieves cold symptoms
* Reduces static electricity
* Helps preserve household wood furnishings
* Reduces vulnerability to infection by keeping mucous membranes moist
* Extremely low maintenance
- This product contains antimicrobial properties which are built-in to inhibit the growth of bacteria that many affect the plastic and PermaWick filter in the humidifier. These products do not extend to the water, humified air or users. Conduct routine cleaning and maintenance based upon use and individual conditions.
- 1 Humidifier System. Preferred 10 to 1 by surveyed physician. *Independent study of physician conducted 12-96.
So thats that. I am glad to have found something reasonable and it appears that it will work out nicely. I have the receipt and the option to buy the big beast if needed.
Anyone catch tonights episode of Smallville ("crimson")? It was particularly drool worthy this evening. Clark was smokin' hot in his assertive fiery sexuality. Louis *almost* got some from him...It was a delightful mix of spice and humor.
Jimmy: (about Lois) 'It's so weird to see her acting like a girl.'
haha
a little glossy crimson lipstick will do that..
Permalink: Hello_Smallville_Humidifiers.html
Words: 669
Location: Youngstown, NY
02/01/07 12:21 - 20ºF - ID#37948
qs for staticy peeps
but with the dry cold weather..
and we are in for a deep freeze (stock up on the hot chocolate and wood!)..
my skin and throat are in need of some extra care. 21% humidity in my Y-Town appartment(comfy is 45%). I am sensitive to the air changes..
I keep zapping my cats and anyone else I touch with static electricity. Joe walked by my face and his tail and my cheek made a spark!! Their fur is sticking out on end and so is mine. Its HAWT!
I'm thinking of buying a humidifier- somethng that will take care of a few rooms. I don't want to boil water or hang laundry to dry or place bowls of water around.. I wish to buy an apparatus that will take care of the job.
My question and reason for this post: Any reccomendations, thoughts, suggestions? What kind, where to buy, etc?
I love the site, How Stuff Works. This link tackles the subject of humidifiers.
I'm about to slide into a tub of hot oil and stay there until we thaw
actually, that sounds kind of nice..
thanks in advance!
stay warm :)
eat cookies!!! mmmmm
Permalink: qs_for_staticy_peeps.html
Words: 240
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: potpourri
01/30/07 12:49 - 18ºF - ID#37916
Jackson Pollock
Use the left click to change colors. Simple amusment. Great for desk jobs!
tried to save my 'art work', but it didn't happen. Believe me, it was a masterpiece ;)
snagged Pollock work from Google images:
Permalink: Jackson_Pollock.html
Words: 130
Location: Youngstown, NY
Category: life
01/28/07 03:50 - 23ºF - ID#37901
Quantum: Ectoplasmic Rumination
anyway..
I can't stop giggling over a girls reaction to my shaking her hand.
I came home last night to the immense pleasure of seeing (e:flacidness) , who's trip to B-lo I was unaware of. Yay! He came with his family of friends..
With introductions, I prepared everyone verbally that my hands are freezing as I had just walked in from the cold- not just from my car, but had also been walking around outside for a bit prior to that- and I had left my gloves in Sean's truck.
The shaking of hands proceeded as expected until the last one. How so? The girl recoiled her hand as if she had just been electrified by my touch and suddenly covered in ectoplasm, which she proceeded to wipe on her hip.
yes, i said, 'ectoplasm'.
I bust out laughing- finding such intense humor in it. Nothing negative, just an observation that I found to be really funny.
I hung out with the group- my beloved roomies and travelers- dancing to Kimya, Tony!Toni!Tone!, shaking my top and bottom to Beyonce, giving the men new 'hair dos', (floofy is SO in) playing 'dress up (e:terry) ' (he is such a doll!) and stealing sips of (e:Paul) 's screw driver. Just feeling light, feeling good, always enjoying time with friends.I wanted the evening to keep going as it was fun to relax with everyone. Instead, I grabbed a few belongings and headed back out into the night. I had some stuff to take care of, that out of responsibility, could not be put off. Coming in for an hour or so was a nice bonus to an already really lovely weekend. My needing to go back out wasnt a chore, as I new that shortly thereafter I would be able to go to bed- sleep that was much needed. I knew that my best choice of sleep arrangement for last night was to go back to Y-Town, so I could check in on my beloved furblobs, snuggle under a mound of blankets and get the rest needed to wake up fresh and ready to tackle some phone calls and bill paying. Mmmmm soft flannel sheets, a heated mattress pad and my stuffed turltle made for comfy and warm nocturnality. Indeed, I slept well, good dreams were had and remembered. It leaves me with a decidedly pleasant feeling... a continued effect of spending time with really wonderful people.
A weekend seminar was shared with new friends. Everything that was discussed has been a strong part of me for as long as I can remember. While some people went to learn or build upon what they know, I went for the experience, curiousity, the connection and to tweak some areas of my thought process. Bijan is indeed fun and informative, yet all that he says is all that I have long ago embraced on my own accord. tres cool..The absolute best part (which it was all good, even when literally running around Niagara Falls looking for lunch *wink*) is just spending time with friends and experiencing something so personal together. (e:inspiraysean) , (e:laurajean) and a few other most excellent people got together for this weekend. We had fun. fun. fun.
Meditations were deeply touching; I really like the guided variety. I am able to focus and follow someone elses words. When left to my own mental device- I go from meditating to another form of 'imagery" ;) or fall asleep. Right now is a time for me for sharing and strengthening a life time of observations and continuing with having a "can do" and "will do" attitude as opposed to the reality that many of us were brought up to beat down our abilities- whether by parents, friends, media, teachers, society in general. Much of this contemplation is infused in my writing- but it is not as overt as other writers.
In a speech by Nelson Mandela, there is a line that I have long ago thought to simply make sense. "...We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?..." exactly- really now, who are you NOT to be freakin' fantastic? Why wait for someone else to tell you or make you feel that way. You are and can be if you just allow it. Anything is possible, nothing is impossible- if you want something, if you want something more. That is why I keep at it- saying and doing things in a certain manner.,It just is. I just am. I will work on articulating my thoughts, as I have plenty of them :)
Right now I am just feeling through it all as opposed to being able to form words. I began this post to quickly jot some thoughts down as I down loaded some tunes off of Lime Wire, but I sense it going for a lot more than what I originally intended. I categorize posts that will have less than 500 words as "quickies satisfy"- which I typed in as I was only going to relay the humorous handshake. I have a few articles I am in the process of writing. Some pertaining to lessons learned early in life others relating to subjects that I havent written or read much about in awhile, such as Quantum physics, Quantum mechanics, chaos theory- fun stuff! (e:theecarey,133). I intend to use this post and accumulation of thoughts from this past weeked, as a spring board into writing about those topics.
While I have a few concerns, I am not a worrier- actually I am quite free spirited and laid back. And knowing this, I need to deal with it head on and let it go. I am very close to my child-like ways, so I never abandoned the fundamental need to have fun and to have a life that is pleasant and abundant in everything you want. Simple pleasures.. every day.. and each day is mine for the having.. and I like to share.
While my ruminations are usually subtle- occasionally I put it out there stronger. Yes, I am positive, but I am not deluded. I am well aware of the world and reality around us. There is no need to sugar-coat-- but there is a need to be kind to ourselves, to be grateful for what we have and who we are. Its easy to beat ourselves up. "I'm not good at that", "I'm out of shape", "I am always fucking up", "Drama always find me". Sometimes we put that on others, "S/He is like all the others, and will lie, cheat and be irresponsible, etc" If you have low expectations of yourself or others, you are usually correct in the outcome. If we can control just some of it- we can be better, feel better for it. Go ahead and tell yourself that you are a decent human being capable of anything. I figure, its all in my favor, so why not go for it?!
In the sociological and psychological applications, this is ground in the principle of 'self fulfilling prophecy'-a false definition of the situation evoking a new behaviour which makes the original false conception come true. This can be used to produce positive effects. With the Pygmalion Effect, this is directly applied to expectations set for another. Studies and literature primarily exemplify this in the form of student-teacher scenerios, where when teacher expectation of students were high, the students indeed tended to perform better. These studies were done to support the hypothesis that reality can be influenced by the expectations of others. In the 'spiritual' sense, you may find terms such as "manifestation" and 'power of the spoken word". There are many other 'effects', and hypothesis grounded in various fields of academic and life study. What they all aim to understand is how our perceptions- real or not will produce a very real outcome based on those initial thoughts.
So I choose, because it fits my life, to say and do things that support my attitude relating to this. I love my friends and family and all of the wonderful opportunities that come in to my life. I love making new connections and living in the moment. I have let go of a lot over the years and I understand that I accept me and you, right now, as is. Improvement will continue as I choose this. What I have said and done in the past that was shameful is just that: in the past. Awareness of areas that I want to improve is key. Before I open my mouth or make a move, I can decide if it is the best thing for me. Maybe it is, maye it isn't- but it will be my choice and ramifications good or bad are all on me. I am grateful that I often find humor and adventure in less than perfect situations. Not all great things will happen, but if I can get a laugh out of those other times, or use it as an opportunity to learn and grow- then I do. It may not be great while you are in it, but knowing that this will pass, and that you will get out of it- well, can be a profound experience. The last quarter of 2006 was a trying time of figuring out what the next step is. By reveling in my abilities and understanding where my heart and passion is, the situation I was dealing with dissolved and another door opened. That very night I was beaming bright with gratitude- (e:theecarey,356)
And so I am through that 'wall', that 'door'-- and I am not looking back. I am where I need to be and I am in a good place, for me.
Permalink: Quantum_Ectoplasmic_Rumination.html
Words: 1657
Location: Youngstown, NY
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it would be fun to get a bunch of us to go and see it. we should definitely plan an outing! :)