Bizzarre

I think I 'ran into' someone I knew briefly from about 23-24 years ago.

Yeh, I was just a lttle girl then.

I have this distant memory of this person. Havent thought of them in years. Why would I?

I did a search for someone completely different-- I wanted to find an old female friend from college who last resided in California. And I havent "searched" for anyone in specific- ever. But I stayed intonight and have been vegging out.

I suddenly decide to look up an old pal. Somehow, this person came about in the search results. I swear I saw "california" on the location.. then it said, "st. catherines" um, big difference. However, the location and someting about this person (something drew me to take a closer look at the info- -which really didn't tell me much) prompted me to inquire about this distant memory-- which I remembered out of the blue.

random?

I'll feel silly if it isn't him.

I feel kind of silly asking someone to think back 24 years ago to a small detail of their history.

But I couldn't NOT inquire.

I only aksed if they recall general thing; I remember a young boy nursing a baby bluejay back to health. I think its mother had abandoned it or died. This little boy took great care of it and he let his neighbors little neice (me) help feed it. This would have occured in a span of three days more than two decades ago and I havent been back.

Now that I think about it, there are more memories surrounding that-- the details are coming back.

I hope they check their email for this.

The weird thing is, is that all this is a sense of deja vous. As though I knew I'd run into him again sometime.

I was 6 years old.

But things like this happen often.. I just go with it.

I have vivd memories gaing back well before that time. Even before two years of age. Many of my memories are strong.

Then there are all the other details I can recall any time- although usually at random, not because I necessarily want to.

"care, how the hell do you remember that shit?"

"I don't know, I just do"

I can also glance at something and remember it. When I need it to be concrete, I stare at whatever it is for a a moment until I can really see it in my head. I never needed a planner to keep track of anything as I just 'filed' it away in my head, even if whatever the event doesn't occur for weeks or months from that point in time. If I made a list, it wasnt to use when I needed it, it was to visually take a snap shot of it in my mind, so I can refer to is as though I had the actual list in my hand at a later time.

Often when I am remembering something that had been in written form, I am "reading" it from an image in my head. It is very helpful.

So yeh, while all this is pretty normal for me, it may be really strange to someone else.

Hopefully they will drop me a line to let me know one way or another.

How neat might that be?

my god

the weekend is here. finally FRIDAY!

NOW WHAT?!

tell me! tell me! tell me!

I am full of energy despite having very broken sleep, say towards 3am, hahahaha


good to see you this morning, (e:southernyankee) --Will catch up with you later, I am sure :)


kinda in a movie mood.. whats playin' playas?

Received this from a father of an autistic boy that goes to the academy I work at. Just because.

I really am a sucker for flowers. I think this amazes me, as it is really just a flower.

I just sat at my desk for a few minutes and held the rose under my nose-- it smells so yummy.

I thought I would take a pic with my phone.

I really need to buy a camera. If I still have some 'extra' cash, I would like to buy a camera soon; although I don't want to spend the money.

Made ya look, haha

Really though..

(e:metalpeter) and (e:leetee) have some really great pics, but they don't have these ones, hehe

Who knew how kinky the muppets could be?






If you could have seen Animals face..


Ariel View of the golden velvet porn bed spread:


Go Gonzo. With that nose and that flexibility.. well, who really does need to leave the house?



enjoy

dear applicant,
unless you are applying for a position in the porn industry, do not give me your resume without an appropriate professional email address. any questions or concerns on this matter, please contact me at careysHot69er@do me.com
spank you,thank you and have a great day!!

kook;where are you? are u ok? let us know! update: you've been found. good!

Far out, I picked up my diploma today.

It is weird to see the culmunation of all that studying, reading, researching, thinking, and sacrifice on paper.


Now what?

Need to figure out my next step--I'm ready to get going on starting something new... and that feeling will only continue to grow.

work is going well, but that is only one facet of my life.

Heading to B-lo soon

(e:ladycroft) I shall bring what you requested :)


later gators

John malkovich has strange eyes- not a bad thing--he has an interesting energy about him in Amadeus- I was a kid when that movie came out, and I thought the same thing then.

Its a bit chilly out there, yes? such wet darkness, makes me sleepy.

Curling up in front of the fireplace with a soft blanket and a glass of red wine sounds so good right now.

but I am too tired to make it happen.

But doesn't it sound nice?

• yawn* literally, a super long day at work; it started too early and ended too late-- I think I may just go to bed instead..

..will have to save wine and fireside ruminations for another night.

I dreampt about evil kittens and purple squirrels.

They were frolicking in the back yard of the house I grew up in. I kept picking them up and putting them down; then I determined at some point in my dream that the kittens weren't *really* evil. After scooping up a couple of them and walking through the yard, I found the purple sugar glider. They look good in purple!!

Not sure what that was all about..


Then, my dream proceeded to a little reunion with my recent college classmates. In my dream, two members had become engaged..or something.. whatever it was, they were now 'together'.

and I was envious or jealous or something that made me uncomfortable to know that they were now deeply involved.

While I was sleeping I analyzed my dream, well, I analyzed myself as though it had really happened (while in my dream)

I couldn't figure out why. I didn't want him, I have no ill feelings towards her.. I am not one to be jealous-- as anything I want I work for. And so I was confused in my dream as to why i felt this way.

And oddly, in my dream, I began to try to figure it out.

In my dream, I determined that my envy stemmed from the knowledge that these two people, as with everyone in the cohort, worked so hard together and went through so much for so long, that a bond was formed between us. For two people to get together romantically, it was with the ability to get through two years of high level stress and challenges-- not, oh you're cute, lets hook up-- be on best behavior and be deluded into liking someone/being liked. No, this was getting through some rough shit and having each others back no matter how insane it got. During this program, you could not be 'on your best behavior'- who you are comes out quickly-- and then you grow...its crazy..

And that is what made me feel envious-- that they got together in the way that I would (apparently) want to be with someone-- being able to work on stuff together, to work towards something, to get through the stressful moments and still be going strong through it all. To have a mutual undertsanding of hard work, making goals a reality, pursuiing something with passion.. and being able to share that.

Did I know this before now? maybe had an inclination.. but I don't pursue a "relationship".. I meet people and can figure out real quick what they will be to me. On a rare occasion I am truly interested..
I am much more apt to pursue a temporary "not likely candidate" source of amusement. This past year I have been trying to keep away from that. Its been hard at times.. REALLY hard.. I could toss that thinking all away..

Anyway, no wonders I have discerning tastes. Its not so much being picky as it is that I wont settle for less than what I need and what I can offer- in regards to "relationships". "Temporary amusements"-- those with "expiration dates" don't count--as not much thought goes into all that-- just a different set of standards, heh.

In the discerning tastes-- I refer to the more indepth thought process that goes into deciding if I am going to allow someone into my life. Thats a big thing.. In the meantime, just snap shots..

I enjoy life, I like working on things-- working towards things.. I reach a goal and keep going. I learned a long time ago not to sweat the small stuff-- if it isn't going to kill me or disrespect me, than I am totally laid back about the matter. However, I know that if I want soemthing, want meaning, want to feel alive and happy-- then that is all on me-- only I am accountable for that.

so thats that :)

I have been writing without concern for grammar or spelling-- not like I ever really do.. but I think i have been overcompensating as my work writing has to be perfect- specific and very clear.

here, I just run my fingers over the key board and hope for the best :)

p.s. for my own notes.. stalker dude continues to try to make contact. Three phone calls this month. 26 months later. wtf?

p.s.s you only need a SMALL amount of green curry paste when mixing it in with your jasmine rice, bean sprouts, broccoli and coconut milk. Just a little.. haha

all by mmmmyysellllf...
i'm sitting here in buffalo,
all by mmmmyyselllf............

hmmmm, maybe I will take a bath.. a few minutes of relaxing would be good for me; there is so much going on in my job-- good thing I kinda gravitate towards the sticky/chaotic situations.

now the challenge is to let my mind rest..

ooh, I hear someone, is this friend or foe...????