Ya know, sometimes, i am just a bitch and i can't help it. Someone who likes Lady Gaga getting all up in my grill about Neil Young being "garbage" is something i am going to put on my bitch suit about. Sorry. Can't trust the opinion of someone with such questionable taste. Pft!

(e:Paul), i just wanted to tell you how much i have appreciated every minute of time and every cent you put into (e:strip).

i am not a geek. and every time you change even the tiniest thing about (e:strip), i feel like i am a moron.

recently, you put it out there that the journals have slowed.

i know, for me, sometimes, if i know something has changed with (e:strip), i am a chicken shit to try to post something, with the assumption i won't be able to figure something out intuitively like my wonderful hubs, (e:Uncutsaniflush) can. but that is also me being insecure and impatient...

besides, my life is boring. other than bitching and moaning, there ain't much to say.

except that i heart you, (e:Paul), and think you are a swell guy. :o)

It was my friend, Kirsten's birthday last week and today is the first day we have both had some time open.

So, i thought, along with the gifts i got her, i would swing by ZillyCakes and get her a cupcake. I was expecting something like the monster sized things from Delish but what i got instead reminded me of what i would see on CupCake Wars . I was impressed by the flavours and the cupcake bar.

I am so happy i did not go to Delish. Sorry to those that like it and to Artvoice for voting them best anything. First time, pastried were stale. OK, new business, so maybe they don't have enough turn over. Second time, hmmm... i wonder who buys this stale stuff. Third time, OMG, is that MOLD? So, anyhoo....

I got her a Chocolate Chai with Chocolate Chai Gnache, a Pear Ginger wtih Lemon Chiffon Buttercream and a traditional Red Velvet with Cream Cheese.

Here is what they look like... (OMG, Paul, how do i upload a pic? Where did the upload button go? I've tried about 10 times to drop the file there, but nothing happens!)

So i guess i should say the pics i just took should be here, but i can't put them here......

Fuck it. I give up. Just words in journals from me from now on.

Oh Em Gee. Being awake at this time of the morning should be against the law. And i have been awake for well over an hour now!

However........

Yay for overtime. At least when the cash arrives.

not the first pickins from the organic (e:Uncutsaniflush) & (e:LeeTee) back garden, but thus far, the most prolific.



i love tomatoes.

growing up, i ate them on toast (rye, caraway rye the most coveted) with a sprinkle of salt, or much to my gran's dismay, right from the vine with a salt shaker hidden in my pocket.

winter tomatoes were hard and less flavourful in those days. they were from some far off land of unknown origin. now, we have hothouse tomatoes and the government insists on knowing where they are grown. a pale comparison, but for those of us with a tomato obsession, it's all we can do...

but i have to say, the biggest most evil of blasphemy are those people that put fresh tomatoes in the refrigerator. why, i beseech you, why!!???! ruins the texture and dulls the flavour.

that is, of course, is mere the humble opinion of a former foodie...

Don't continue reading this unless you're in the mood for yet another one of my bitching & moaning sessions. Hopefully, it will be short...

My doctor wants me to see a nutritionist and a opthamologist.

So, i call my insurance company for "in network" providers. Up until today, i have had amazingly helpful people at my insurance company.

Or, so i thought.

I found out today that i must be stupid, because today's conflicting information "is exactly" what i was told last time. I am NOT covered. Even though i understood that i was. I understood that my diagnosis opened a few doors to see specialists i was not covered for before it. Such is not the case. Diagnosis is not relevant.

Ophthalmology -- I am covered for an office visit... but... ready for this... not the exam. WTF? So, if i want to go and talk to a receptionist at a doctor's office, i can, but i can't have the doctor examine me?

Nutritionist -- there isn't one in the Buffalo area that is in network unless i go to a Diabetic Education Class at a Catholic Health hospital. Four 3 hour classes, most of which interfere with my work schedule, of course. To top it off, i do not have the correct referral and need to get back on the phone to be on hold and explain to someone else what i need and wait to find out how i cannot get it.

Pessimistic? Who me? Nah.....

Blood work is in. It's official. I have diabetes. I do not have celiac disease, but there is a small chance i may be allergic to eggs and lactose intolerant. That diagnosis, however, will have to wait 'til a later time.

I don't like getting diabetic testing supplies from the only place in which my insurance will cover 100% of the cost (rather than 80% after a $280 deductible), which is not medicare, despite the commercial.



I have made calls to go to a diabetes education center and wait for someone to call me back.

In the meantime, i do online research and a bought a big ole old fashioned book.

I require more thought on what to eat. Gone are the days of just picking something up or going out to eat lunch almost every day.

Today, it's black bean tomato corn salad. In a popcorn bowl.



Can't say i have a recipe, exactly. I just microwaved a bag of frozen corn, added a can rinsed black beans, some sweet peppers, some celery, green onions, parsley, grape tomatoes, the juice of a couple of limes, some dill, garlic, cumin, cinnamon, apple cider vinegar (which is reported to help lower the impact of sugar rich vegetables for diabetics), some Braggs liquid amino (to replace salt) then stuck it in the fridge to marinate.

Not sure what to serve it with... but, i may have to consider eating meat so i don't carb load as much and still get my protein.

Small situation at work, mostly about me adjusting to the differences between an institutional setting and a community setting. I am strict. I follow rules to the letter of the law, because that is what i did in my old location. Doesn't always go over well in this setting. I am adjusting, but it is a bit of a difficult transition.

I am happily surprised for the first time since i started working for the WNYDDSO, to have co-workers that respect me. Enough to talk amongst themselves to say, "hey, she's having a hard time, what can we do to help her out... and how about if we step back a bit and let her figure out her own way".

Wow. Is this what it feels like to not be in highschool?

Uhm, yeah, unless you're a girl?

Today, less than an hour ago, i was walking to my car when i saw two teenagers standing by their bikes. His was on the ground. She was still straddling hers. He was standing with her tire between his legs and his hands on her handlebars. He was screaming profanities at her. She looked at me, looked away, he turned to look at me, told me to fuck off, then went back to his screaming.

I put my recycled weggies bag in my prius (just trying to show what a fucking neo -hippie i am these days, i even became a member of the co-op. shit, i would have beaten myself up when i was 17.. but i digress), and when i looked up, he was slapping her around and punching her on the side of her head. She was just trying to block his fists. She looked at me and mouthed "help", so i called 911.

Of course, Weggies security was on lunch and could not be found. So i flagged down an orange shirt helping hands dude.

She tried to explain to me, and i told her she didn't need to, because no matter who's dick she sucked, he still should not be wailing on her in a grocery store parking lot. When i said that she cried. I hugged her and told her she deserves to be with someone who will treat her with respect. Simple lessons.

And ya know what? I don't care what kinda crack whore she might be, no one deserves to be beat up by someone 3 times their size.

I stayed with her until weggies security was with her and they said the cops were on the way.

He was standing out front of a bodega on Amherst when i drove by. Pussy.

Today, i not only think i hate doctors, but i think they are actively evil.

After much investigation, consternation and frustration, i have discovered this general turn of events.

First time i got my blood work done, unknown to me, my primary was on holidays. According to them, but my time line contradicts this, her replacement saw my blood work and WITHOUT meeting with me sent a script to Wegmans. I say i got the bloodwork done after they sent me the wrong script, they say before, that is why it was sent. I won't dispute the time line itself.

My alert to this was an automated call from Wegmans letting me know my script was ready. For something i had never taken nor would take since i do not eat shellfish.

Since i hadn't been to see my doctor, i was able to weasel from the head pharmacy dude the name of the doctor. One i had never seen before, nor heard of, except to say she was also at Lifetime Health on Main by Allen. Her name is Margaret Ebrel.

After several phone calls, it was discovered that script was sent in error. Lifetime says they do not know why someone did not send Wegmans a fax (or however they communicate) to say "hey don't fill this, it was an oops".

I made the grave error for asking for an apology. From ANYONE, but in particular the doc that made the mistake.

People make mistakes. The nurse i saw today made a big mistake, and immediately apologized. Because she said "oops, i'm sorry, i should have...." it was easy to shoe it away and move on.

It took a lot of time and effort for me to find out why i was sent the wrong script. I want to make sure it won't happen again. As in maybe my information is incorrect, or something super innocent. I got nothing but resistance from Lifetime Health in trying to resolve this.

Is it really so bad for me to want to make sure it doesn't happen again? Is it really so bad for a doctor to admit they made a mistake? Or are they really so superior and perfect that they do not make mistakes? Do they really think they are god-like?

On top of all this, i went in today for a follow up for my second set of blood work because LabCorp fucked up the last set. Despite a "note on my chart" to let me know when i checked in for the appointment that the labs are not in yet and to reschedule the appointment, i paid my co-pay and was seated in the waiting room. The other mistake i made was paying with a credit card. Lifetime Health does not know how to refund my money. Or can't. Who the fuck knows.

I left in tears of frustration. Busting my ass to make it on time for an appointment that should have been canceled. Trying in vain to have some sort of resolution for a mistake a doctor made. Paying for an appointment i didn't have. Not knowing if the appointment i made is still standing... or if i want to go.

The medical system in this country makes me feel like a piece of meat. Shit, makes me feel like a hunk of useless fat.

It matters nothing to Lifetime Health if i get moderately decent care, or care at all. I wish i could say i feel like a number, because at least a number has value.