I swear, i colour my hair red just as an excuse to be a hothead bitch....

BUT

YOU would be cranky too if your neighbour's wee dog barked you awake on a regular basis and today it happened for what seemed like eternity but was probably closer to 30 - 40 minutes and finally at 7am you could take it no more.

Of course, i didn't need to yell and scream as much as i did.

But, please, people, tell me how it is i am supposed to get the damn dogs to stop barking if the humans will not answer their doorbell? What is the solution?

However, i really did not need to be called a "white cracker bitch". I didn't bring race or skin colour into any of my ranting and raving. Just that it happens daily (which it doesn't, but it does happen about 3 or 4 times a week) and i am fed up, frustrated and tired.

Even though she started in on the arguement i had with her friend because he was blocking my driveway and refused to move, swore at us while telling us to not swear at her and got all upity about how hard she works for a living (uh, we all do!), i still say i need to apologize. I was a bitch and i need to let them both know that i was being unreasonable.

• sigh*

I took the (e:strip) bumpber magnet from the side of my 'fridge so i would have one on my car. Getting two when they were first made was a good idea, 'cause who knows when i will have the chance to attend another (e:strip) party to come get one. I now work weekends, despite my best efforts. Perhaps i will drive by the mansion on my way to work and wave the night of the next party.... You'll recognize me by my jealous green eyes and bright red car with the orange bumper magnet.

Speaking of cars. If you need one, DO NOT go to Niagara Nissan in Lockport. The sales people there are lying sacks of shit. All the little things that the sales person, Michael Bauer, said would be fixed on my car BEFORE i came to get it were not fixed. I have had to go back twice to have them taken care of. And one issue they will not fix unless i pay for it. While testdriving, i tried the sunroof and saw that it would not close using the little button and Michael Bauer said, "that will be fixed. it probably just needs to be lubed." he really meant, "if it doesn't cost too much, we will fix it, otherwise, we will just close it and tell you that we fixed it". Why do used car salesman have to live up to their reputations of being scumbags?

For 3 weekends in a row i have worked "extra time". While driving from West Seneca to Clarence with a van full of people, i was asked to decide if i could work 2 doubles in a row. I said i could do one if someone could do another. Someone was willing to do overtime on Saturday, so Sunday it was for me. I worked 3pm - 11pm on Satuday then 7am - 11pm on Sunday. I wonder when i will actually work the hours i was hired for? I will not hold my breath....

We have a full house at work now. Things are far more chaotic. I think it means our unit will not be closing, like the rumour mill said, but we just never know. Like everything where i work, you find out things only when you walk in the door. And even then, unless you spend hours reading charts and papers that you do not have time to do because you are working, you spend the day in total confusion, always erring on the side of caution, just in case it might be in someone's plan.

I was sick of election coverage months and months and months ago. I cannot wait for all this shit to be over with. Why are politicians such big babies who can't play nice in the sandbox? Yeah, yeah, attack ads work, so they say. Then why are we all such assholes who want to know all the dirt? I can hear it now... "not me!". Then who? SOMEONE must respond, or the ads would not be there. No one is stupid enough to waste money on ads that don't work....

Maybe i am just jealous 'cause i can't vote. Election in Canada today. Can't vote there, 'cause you have to be a resident to vote. Can't vote here, because you have to be a citizen. How backwards am i?

You didn't sound bitchy to me, (e:Lauren). I got the point you were making. And as i was reading your first post, i was nodding my head in agreement. I made the assumption that reading the journals of others merely made you think, not that you were responding to someone's journal.

I reckon we all have rasict thoughts now and then, but it is what we decide to do about them that matters most. And to whom we blurt them out to.

Personally, i attempt to recognize differences in us all, but have them not matter....

Unless you are a suburbanite brunette woman with streaky blonde highlights, are the size of a twig and driving a giant SUV, speeding down the thruway, unable to decide which lane you want to be in, while on the phone, putting on makeup and chewing gum so that everyone can see down your throat... In which case, i fucking hate you.

Not much shocks me anymore. And if it does, i have to practice my "i'm not shocked" face at work. Since i work with people with developmental disabilities who were court ordered to be in our facility or are unable to be with the general community because their normal every day behaviour is, at the very least, inappropriate, i get lots of practice not being surprised or shocked.

Mostly, i understand that the people i work with may not understand themselves that their behaviour is not appropriate, so it is very easy for me to stay in a place without judgement. I hope i can continue to...

I got the chance to colour my hair recently. Why is there no red that is red enough for me?

Since we both had the afternoon off and wanted to enjoy some warm weather, (e:Uncutsaniflush) and i headed east for the day to outrun the rain.

Rochester's Park Avenue is what the Elmwood strip, oh, i mean Village would love to be -- vibrant, busy, a healthy mix of shops (from spas and boutiques to dry cleaners and bodegas), places to eat and residences. We had lunch at Esan and i had the best Lemongrass Tofu since Rice Paddy on Elmwood closed.

Then, we went to the Seneca Park Zoo . A small but good zoo... and today, the animals were active, and interactive.

While at the Amur Leopard exhibit, one of the keepers was approaching from the back, talking, and the Leopard made this sound i have never heard before. Nikita, we found out the leopard's name is, likes baby talk and if she likes you and the way you baby talk, she will make the same sound at you. At first, my "what a cute kitty you are" wasn't enough for her to do it, but she came over and would glance over at me from time to time. But, the "you are such a good girl" was the ticket. She purrgrowled at me. Least, that is what the keeper called the noise. Way cool to have been able to interact with such a big cat.

It sounds good. Almost like you get to date a man. Mandated. Ain't nothing of the sort.

What it really means, ultimately, is feeling like shit for a few days because you cannot leave work.

When someone calls in, and no one on the "i want overtime" list answers their phone (and who is going to do so at 9pm on a Saturday night?) or returns a message, the next card in the overtime book has to stay for the next shift. By law, we cannot be understaffed.

Being new, i was the first card in the book. I went in for my usual shift... wait... i went in for the shift i have been working. Technically, i am flexed every week because i do not work the 4pm - 9pm shift i was hired for. I work 3pm - 11pm 2 days a week and a random 4 hour shift some other time of the week. I digress.

I had some notice. The person being mandated does not always have that luxury. Sometimes, they find out at 10.45pm that their shift does not end at 11pm.

My wonderful husband, (e:Uncutsaniflush) even drove out to West Seneca to put my phone charger in my car so my cell phone would not run dead while working (we have to keep a working cell phone with is in case there is an emergency that isn't serious enough to hit the 911 emergency bracelets we are required to wear). Luckily, i didn't end up needing my cell phone.

Luckily, they were kind to me. I was on relief duty. Not an individual's 1:1, having to sit in a darkened room, watching someone sleep all night.

But still, working from 3pm Saturday afternoon all the way through the night until 7am Sunday morning was tough.

Relief duty means chores. Better for me to stay awake, really.

I had food to thaw for the Sunday's meals and Monday's lunches. I made some of Sunday's lunch. I cleaned out the Health and Beauty cabinet of the med room. I washed kitchen linens. I cleaned out the fridge of all opened food over 48 hours old (state law!). I cleaned out the laundry room. And yeah, i drank coffee!

Unfortunately, i also had to work Sunday.... from 3pm - 11pm. So, bleary eyed, i drove home, talked to my mom on the phone for a few minutes and around 8am crawled into bed. By 12.30pm, i was up drinking strong tea and getting ready for work again.

All this backed by last weekend.... working 3pm - 11pm Saturday then 7am - 11pm Sunday -- voluntarily.

Just when i was caught up on sleep, i get mandated.

Thank goodness i am only part time.

In the good news department, today is mine and (e:Uncutsaniflush)'s 7th wedding anniversary. He is as imperfect as i am. But together, even in the rough times, it just feels perfect. I cannot know how i went through life without him. Nor do i ever want to again.

We are having a low key day due to my work and the fact that he had to work this morning. But i made us a big mid day meal of (vegetarian) sausages and peppers with pierogies and mushroom sauce, mizzeria (a cucumber sour cream salad) and an apple cinnamon cake. We were too full for the cake, so it waits for a later.

And she's not blue this time, but red, and slightly less old.



Of course, if she does not cough up the Morrissey and New York Dolls cds stuck in her supposed 4 cd changer, she is meat.

I think red and orange look good together. She needs an (e:strip) bumper sticker...

But it thrilled me to no end today to get a text from an old workmate saying this one simple sentence -- "rita got fired". About time. Worst manager ever. I know no details... just that the person who sent me the text still works for the company, if not at that location. I have to say, every time i thought of it, i was giggling. Not very long ago, i got a questionaire from the head office asking me what i thought of the company, asking the reasons why i left. I assume i got it because i left on good terms and would not have if i had gotten fired or just walked off the job like i considered so so so many times. In it, i was factually honest, trying not to sound as though i had an axe to grind. Oh, damn, how i hope my 2 pages describing the things my manager did and how inappropriate they are had even a tiny little bit to do with why she was fired. Might be too much to ask for, but i would be so proud. How much of a bitch does this make me?

I am Canadian, and i hate hockey. Last night, i was reminded why. In person, at the HSBC Arena. Of course, i did not volunteer to go. In fact, i tried desperately to get out of it. Not only because i assumed that the state of New York would not, could not pay for anything but nosebleeds. But also because it saddens me to no end to hear in person the cheers from the crowds during fights. WTF? Why not just go to boxing if that is what you're looking for?

Luckily, the individual i weasled my way into taking care of (instead of the person i was assigned to) needed special seating that was slightly less high up.

I laughed when Toronto scored... and got lots of dirty looks. But, it was seriously funny how many people booed the people cheering and the goal itself.

In a funny twist, our driver decided we were going to leave when it was just under 5 minutes on the board or jumbotron thingie... and we heard tons of cheers. I thought it might be due to us leaving, but i think it might be because Buffalo scored...

The good news is that i finally got some numbers today that i can live with. Allstate is going to give me about 50 bucks less than i paid for my car. Minus towing fees to take away my poor smashed up, but beloved, Blue Bitch. Their towing is a bit high, but it is worth it to not have to see her pathetic dead body in my driveway for much longer. Really, makes me cry to see my first car go like this... not even talking about my frustrations and stress over the whole thing.

Speaking of... thanks to those (e:peeps) for your support and sympathies.

I should have a check in my hand in a few days. And a couple of license plates without homes.

Finding them new homes might be tough. No one seems to have much in my very tight budget, and the task seems so daunting. I just do not want to be ripped off and end up with a lemon.

(e:MrMike) has suggested Mission Motors to me and a visit there yesterday didn't result in anything. Maybe i am being too picky. I would rather not have pieces missing. And i don't want an SUV or MiniVan. Great idea, going there.... maybe i should take a second look at the Chevy Beretta they had. I think it was an automatic...

Sadly, too, the dealer i got the Blue Bitch from has nothing in my price range.... i sorta kinda trust them.

Anyone else have any suggestions?

I really thought life was progressing well.. But lately, i feel as though i take one step forward and two steps backwards.

I was finally brave enough to learn to drive. It mostly had to do with landing what i thought might be an amazing job. Government work, but doing something i may have done in the private sector. But it is nothing like what i expected... and not the subject of this paragraph.. or post. It's driving. Why i learned. Why i bought the car. My Blue Bitch.

I have had the job since early June. A minor windfall allowed me to get a car. Not an expensive one, i could not afford that. But just under 3 grand, that i could do. And i found it. Shocked me that finding a car for that little was possible. So, in late May, i bought my very first car ever. A 1998 Saturn SL2.

I learned to love her, 'cause i didn't at first. At first, she was just wheels. I hated her, too, when her transmission started to leak. Then, just last week, some nice man told me what the problem was, and for about 30 bucks, she was almost good as new. Yay!

Then, it happened. Life went from being not so bad to unfair. While at a full stop, just doing what i was supposed to be doing as a responsible driver, a less responsible driver plowed into the back of me. I smacked into the car in front of me. And he banged into the poor 20 something year old who was just trying to make a left into his own driveway.

No one was hurt. Not seriously. But i think the dude in front of me is pulling a whiplash.... i got a letter from his insurance company.

I also got the accident report. The 79 year old man was inattentive, it says. To say the least. I think he should have been ticketed with reckless driving, too, since i think he was accelerating to go around me illegally.

Dealing with insurance companies is mindnumbingly frustrating. Of all the drivers, only one was not insured with Allstate. And, of course, they do not want to fight themselves, so they seem to be willing to sacrifice me. The one and only innocent bystander who does not have a car that runs. The other two have dings, but they can drive their cars. Who gives a shit about the stupid old man that was at fault. It is his mistake and he is the one that should suffer from it. Not me. Not the man in front of me. Not the man in front of him.

I did not have collision on my vehicle. Isn't that more or less the norm? Older car, no collision? But, even if i did, the claim would not go through my policy, but the person who is at fault.

I have had the car for less than 6 months.... and they want me to take a grand less than i paid for it? No. I cannot replace it for the price i paid. I just want a car that runs as well...

I wish i could take that amount from the insurance company for them to write off my car. Then, buy a reasonably similar car and sue the stupid old man for the difference... because no matter how you look at it, i am going to be at the very least $2000 poorer trying to find another car. No way my luck would allow me to find 2 decently running cars for $3000 within the same 6 months.

• sigh*

I can't believe how angry i am. Sitting here with my morning tea, a car that is not driveable and wee little black and blue and/or tender bits all over my arms and chest. When i think about the accident, i feel such rage at the man who caused it. I drive an old car, and did not carry collision on it... so, looks like unless i want to try some home repair on the driver's seat that is bent backwards or want to be on Judge Judy, i am carless again. Poop.