Yesteday, Tux, one of the rats we adopted from the SPCA died. I was expecting it. The vet told us to be on guard with her, that she might develop pneumonia and gave us the specifics of the symptoms, but also said that she is an old girl and may not live too much longer. We knew it when we adopted her that she was old.

She was not showing any signs of being sick, just old. Getting a bit clumsy, a bit thin, moving slower. On Thursday, i knew i needed to keep an eye on her, she had fallen out of her hammock getting in or out a few days earlier, moving slowly, being a bit more of a Stumbleina. So, if she didn't show signs of getting generally better, we were going to risk the shock to her to take her to the vet... but she didn't live long enough.

She was moving slow in the morning, as well as the few times i checked on her. My mom was visiting, (e:Uncutsaniflush) was home and she and i went to one of my mom's favie shops on Elmwood, Half and Half. When we left, she was there, head looking out the window of her little wooden house in her cage.

When we got back, us humans were chatting in the kitchen. Then, i got this sick feeling and ran to the cage. I don't know, exactly, when she died, but Tofu was there with her, laying over her, trying to keep her warm. I don't know what i did or said, but my mom and (e:Uncutsaniflush) came running.

I don't think her body was stone cold yet, but i am not the one that lifted her out, (e:Uncutsaniflush) did that. She is buried in our back yard, with some of her blankets (old torn towel pieces) with a big rock as a marker. Poor thing.

Tofu looks a bit confused, but i think she prefers having all the food to herself... the little piggie.

I just finished writing a letter to the manager of Sally Beauty Supply. Confirming our conversation of yesterday. That i gave my 2 week notice.

I got the state job. I still need to do some leg work (fingerprinting, shift and location decisions, and orientation) and the hope is the hiring freeze from Albany won't kick in until after all of us new hires are in the system....

I'm stunned and freaked and happy and nervous and all kinds of other emotions.

Mostly, right now, i am thrilled to give notice at my current place of employment!!

Now, i realize i am not a parent, so i may not fully understand the incredible work and sacrifice it is to care for a child 24 hours a day.

When i think about it, i am amazed that had i not been so sick, needing an emergency hysterectomy, the child i was carrying at that point would almost be 21.... and perhaps my opinions would be different.

Every time i am at the zoo, as (e:Uncutsaniflush) and i were yesterday, i look around in awe. What the hell is with all the strollers these days? I see children that are old enough to walk, knees practically hitting their chins to sit in strollers so mom can push them around.

I feel like an old fart saying this, but shit, when i was a kid, once i could walk, i walked. My dad might carry me if i got tired, but that was the point, to have me expend all of my childhood energy. What, exactly, is wrong with a tired child? An exercised child? Are we breeding a new generation of lazy people?

And now, i see these gianormous stroller things with all these "conveniences" like little bowls attached to the arms of the stroller so that the Cheerios and Goldfish can be at hands reach at all times. Huh? So, not only no exercise but more food? Is this to placate or because the child is actually hungry?

To add insult to injury, the adults that push these things around can be so inconsiderate and have such a sense of entitlement about them. At the zoo, they remove the child to get a good view and leave the stroller right up front blocking the view for everyone else. And not just for me, but for other children, sometimes not big enough to see round the 2 child stroller with S.U.V. attachment.

Maybe someone can make a model with power -- so we can have children watching dvd's and playing video games right there in the stroller!! With a little fridge, so the bottled water doesn't get cold and everything!!!

I wonder if the cycle of frustration with my teeth and dentists will ever end? Perhaps in a few years when i need to get dentures? *sigh*

I spent Sunday night with a searing toothache. Monday, the only appointment available was just before i was supposed to go to work. So, i took massive doses of over the counter pain pills (recommended in 24 hours, 4 pills; my intake in 24 hours, about 16) and drove myself to work.

Yes, you read that right. I drove myself to and from work. Was weird seeing our lil Toyota Prius sitting in the parking lot without (e:Uncutsaniflush) in it. I even went to the car and almost got in the passenger side. Old habits, i reckon.

Now, today, i have my dental appointment (no car, bus day *pout*) today at 1.30pm (Buffalo bus schedules suck, i need to leave at about 11.50am and get there by 1.00pm so i am not late). And would you believe no toothache? I guess i should just point to the giant gap where a filling (i think) used to be. My own fault for ignoring this gap for a few weeks... and for canceling the cleaning i had in October then not making a new one.

I am sure it will not be the only filling i need.

On to reoccuring frustration #2.

I do not know what my work schedule for next week is.

Ah, but that is just inviting trouble? Perhaps all the wee lil pains in my mouth in all the different places are not cavities? Perhaps i will be able to make an accurate guess what i will be scheduled to work based on weeks past?

Expect the worst... so that when it's not so bad, i will be happily surprised?

Yep, ya'll guessed it right. I got my license. I am legally able to drive.

The road test itself was so short, it felt like we were driving for about 30 seconds.

One bad thing i did was forget to take the emergency brake off. Yipes! The examiner was in a hurry; he didn't seem to want to wait for me to adjust the seat and mirrors after (e:Uncutsaniflush) got out of the car. So, i drove off and made the left hand turn he wanted me to make. Then, i heard the squealing and realized why that left was such a challenge. Off the emergency brake went, and i am not sure he even noticed 'cause it goes on and off with the left foot, not with a hand brake between the seats. Thank goodness the car seems to be running ok.... don't think i did too much damage.

Once done, he said that he "took 5 points off" (i think i need to do some research to find out what that means) because my 3 point turn and parallel park were "perfect, but too slow" and i should be careful because "it's busy around here" and i need to "get it done".

When i asked, "does that mean i passed?", he laughed and said yes. Told me to sign the paper right away and keep it with my learner's permit until my license comes in the mail...

So, it looks like i gone done did it....

I just logged on to the DMV Road Test Scheduling System site.

I put in my zip code, and it gave me all the nearest test sites including as far away as East Aurora and Niagara Falls. Most of the appointments were mid to late May. Although the idea of that much time seems sweet, because of this job, i need to get this done as soon as i can.

So, i kept clicking around. Suddenly, there was a new appointment for this month in Niagara Falls! Damn. Someone must have just cancelled one! So, i jumped all over it.

Now, i am freaking a bit. I have a road test scheduled at 2pm for the 28th. That, my friends, is this upcoming Monday! THIS MONDAY!! Yipes!!!

Anyone willing to loan their car, their patience and their nerves of steel to help me practise driving this Saturday? (e:Uncutsaniflush) is working that day, or he would be it. He will be available on Thursday, Friday, Sunday and Monday before the test....

OMG... what did i just do???

I did the 5 hour pre-licensing course today.

One more thing checked off my to do list.

The class itself was kinda lame. Mostly, what i got out of it was that the Tonawanda road test site is decent. Not too many difficult intersections, unlike the Buffalo site.

And that if people do the Buffalo road test site, out on William by North Ogden, be careful about the school zones; you will fail if you go even 1 mile over the school zone speed limit of 15. Apparently, the school zone up in Tonawanda, on Roosevelt Ave., between William and Grove will be on Delaware, so it should be around 30MPH.

Also useful was knowing what, exactly, the examiners will be looking for. Basic car handling skills, including things like how to hold the steering wheel when making right hand turns (seems us righties don't do right hand turns properly and do not begin the turn with our left hand as, apparently, we are supposed to), how jerky the stops and starts are and how well the driver can maintain a speed.

And, i think i also learned i need to practise my parallel parking. I've not done many of them...

I have a lesson on Friday morning. Perhaps that is what i will want to focus on.

Some of you might be following the saga of me and the state job. I reckon most of you don't give a shit, and that is a-ok with me.

Right now, i am trying to figure out what i want. I got a call from my contact regarding this job and she says i need to get a driver's license ASAP, all caps. She wanted to drive me to the DMV today, but it just doesn't work that way.

These days, new drivers need to do a 5 hour class and get a certificate saying it was completed. Most drivers ed places do this on Saturdays, but i am working this Saturday, 10 am 'til close at 6pm.

It was suggested i blow off work, don't go, get someone to cover for me, quit if i have to. Even though i hate my job and the people i work for, i could not do that to the people i work with. I have some integrity.

The boss is going away and we were told in a mandatory meeting a few weeks ago that no one can take off any time during her managers get away (some sort of thing the managers get if WE do all this work for them... *grumble*) or during inventory, which happens shortly after she gets back. No way on earth i would get any time off, even if i asked, and i just cannot screw anyone over like that, even if they would do it to me in a flash. I just can't.

Kinda puts me in a high pressure situation.. get a license and get it right now. Like before April is over, even?!!?? Not sure i could pass without a little practise and (e:Uncutsaniflush) is working a lot right now, too. So he has barely any time to take me. We seem to work such opposite shifts, too.

I need to do this all on my terms. I still have to be myself. I still need to get a license, so why wait.

I did find a place that has one of those 5 hour classes on Tuesday night. It will be a time crunch for me, to get from work to the class, by bus, in an hour, but i will do what i can. Will make for a long day, too... 9am - 4pm, then a 5 hour class starting at 5pm, after working until 9:30pm the night before. I can do it. It is possible...

But...

Do i actually want the job? This job? I have been questioning that lately. Too much. Wondering if smoke was being blown up my ass or if it is and has been something i actually want. Is it just because it is a state job, with good benefits, even for part timers? Or do i really want to work with the developmentally disabled?

I reckon i can figure that out as i go. If i do get the license and the job and start the training... if i hate it, how much further behind am i? In another job i hate, but at least i get benefits.

A while back, (e:Uncutsaniflush) and i saw a review in the Buffalo News about this restaurant. Unfortunately, my stomach was at a point in which i could eat so little and one of the trigger foods when i ate out was Indian. So, we weren't eating out much and never eating Indian.

I've never found out what is wrong with my stomach (sucks to not have health insurance), but i do have flare ups when i can eat almost nothing without cramps. Tea and toast, and somedays, not that. But i digress.

But, yesterday, i felt brave. Been months and months since i had Indian. And i missed it... oh, how i missed Indian food.

So, we went to the Palace of Dosas (not much of a website, but, it exsits). It was soooOOOooo yummy.

Sorry, (e:Paul), i didn't take pictures, didn't have the camera with me.

(e:Uncutsaniflush) had the masala dosa lunch special.... the dosa was HUGE. About a foot long!! He gave me a hunk and it was superyum! It came with some sort of creamy minty stuff that had a kick, some soup that had peppers in it and a couple of bread things -- one that looked and tasted like a savoury donut (yep, i am from Hamilton, the birthplace of Tim Horton's) and the other like a slightly bland piece of corn bread.

I had what i thought was the other lunch special, the Thali, i think it was called. It was huge... rice with nann and a pompadom, and 6 wee dishes of yummy things to scoop up and eat. There was a riata (please, forgive all my mispellings) that was amazing and had chunks of cucumber. There was a spicy bell pepper dish that was sorta like a soup. There was a spinach and chick pea dish that had a bit of a kick and a slight mint taste. There was a tangy tomatoey soup that was spicy. There was a legume dish that was mild. And, much to my surprise, a desert i liked. Surprising because it had 2 things i rarely like in deserts -- raisins and tapioca. It was a nice finish to the meal... mangos with raisins and pistachios.

Turns out, when we got the bill, i had the full version, the dinner one, i guess you could call it. A bit disappointing that there was a communication problem, but it wasn't expensive at all.... for both of us, the bill was 20 bucks and change.

I loved the fact that i had all these choices (despite the fact that there are technically only 2 lunch specials) for me. Everything was vegetarian...!!!!!!!!!!