I have to talk a lot at work. It's a tough thing to do when you've lost your voice. I sound like Mini Mouse on helium with a stuffed nose. Fun.

Been working every day since we got back. Still have half unpacked luggage on our sitting room floor. Maybe tonight i will have enough energy to unpack something.

So, yes, i have been ill since we returned from our... hmm... vacation? Yeah, i guess it was that. We didn't have to work. Like he mentioned, i just don't think that (e:Uncutsaniflush,43312) and i are cruise types. We made our own fun.

Since there were a lot of them around, i think my poor husband has some insight on what it was like for me to grow up. I have an odd family. And most of the ones on this cruise weren't even blood relatives for me -- my mom's brother's wife's family. Man, can they pack it away. I wouldn't doubt of some of them had $1000 bar bills by the end of the cruise.

On the way down, we spent the night at a friend's place in Cocoa Beach, Florida. I have known this person online for a bit longer than i have known my husband. Since we were going to be driving right near her place, we thought we should finally meet. She was exactly as i expected. An older hippie version of me... if i had kept smoking and stayed single. No wonder we call each other Twin.

The wedding itself was nice. They both look happy and i am happy for them. My cousin Rob is a good guy. His bride seems sweet. They seem a good match. Boring day job people (he's an accountant!!) who like do do crazyweird sporty things when not working.. like mountain biking in the mud. The night before we got on the ship, at a dinner in Miami my uncle footed the bill for, my cousin and his then bride to be announced that they are pregnant. 9 weeks at that time, 11 by now.

Nasau Bahamas was nice. We got a lot of "don't take a ride from these people" warnings before getting off the boat. The ladies waiting for tourists so they could make some cash braiding hair were aggressive. We found a nice beach and sat in some shade after wandering down alleys, avoiding other tourists, finding a nice church on a hill and finding where the real people live. I also found out i cannot NOT chew gum and walk. I was trying to take gum out of my mouth and i didn't see a step in front of a shop and i went down. Not too hard. Not like that day i scraped my knee to shreds in the summer. Of course, i would have been happy to have scrapped it enough to get OUT the wee rock that has been in it since then, but that, as they say, is another story.

St Thomas was pleasant. Immigration was a hassle. It would have been easier had we not gone to a US Virgin Island. Everyone had to go through immigration, even if they did not get off the ship. And, if someone didn't go through immigration, they were going to search the ship to find them and make them go through immigration. Once on solid ground, we once again, wandered off the beaten track to some less than touristy residential areas. I love seeing how people actually live. Yes, a beach is nice... but, as my mom said, there's all that sand!

We loved St Maarten. Found a great little french cafe on the Dutch side, just on the outskirts of the tourist pap down Old Street, or Old Ave.... looked like an alley. Called Le Petite Cafe. Only one of the 3 staff spoke English. Had the BEST crepes ever... and some damn fine caramel coffee.

Beer was insane cheap, too. Price wars were everywhere... but who can complain about 99 cent bottles of Red Stripe??

Just because we could and we just so wanted to say that we did, we got a beer at McDonalds. We had just gone in for a McPee, when one of us saw the Heineken fridge. NooooooOOooo way! Beer? At McDonalds!? Yep. Most expensive we saw, but how can you not?

We even found a place to hang right off the beach strip that is owned by some Canadian dude... i mean, he had Poutine and everything!

I am happy to be back on solid ground (a couple of days were pretty rocky!). To not have to solve yet another problem related to Carnival cruise lines. To not have to have one, yes a total of one choice at every dinner. To have to decide 24 hours in advance if that one thing is the one thing i might want and if not i could have something that i had before or will be offered at another time. To not have to deal with hordes of conventioners in lines and lines waiting for... food, drink, a table. This boat was way too crowded. To not have to deal with the racism of people not happy with the conventioners is a nice thing, too. I don't care where they are all from, i just don't like the crowds!

But, i don't like the being sick now that i am back....

I promise i will post photos... soon...

I only meant to mention a fewcoupla things here...

Hardeeville, South Carolina. Yesterday, we made it down 1-77 all the way through West Virginia, the little bit of Virginia, then North Carolina and South Carolina, to I-26, then 1-95 and here -- near the Georgia border and Savannah.

Today, we are going to do a little bit of sight seeing. Head to the beach, maybe, and to downtown Savannah. Perhaps we will try to find The Lady and Sons, so i can stalk Paula Deen? No... i bet she isn't actually there much these days.

Then, we will head to Cocoa Beach, Florida and stay with a friend for the night, tomorrow, move on to Miami and the hotel (we are so much more motel people) where all my fam-damily is staying. Sunday, the wedding the the beginning of the cruise.

It's been interesting so far.... road trips can be filled with periods of fascination, boredom and bumps. We have been fortunate -- no major issues. Yay!

Well, i should get off my lazy butt and stop boring you all with my journal... those that are actually reading it... ha ha ha. No worries, i might not be near a computer (or for long enough) for another journal until we are off the cruise ship.

Have a very Happy Birthday, (e:Mrmike)! Give 4* the finger and stay at 39! Wish i could transport you here for the day to a nice warm climate!

... from Morgantown, WV.

We left Buffalo before any bad weather hit. Heavy Rain between Erie and Pittsburgh. Had a few moments of dense fog near Pittsburgh (are people from Pittsburgh called Pittsburghers, or Pittsburghites, or Pittsburghians?).

After 300 miles, (e:Uncutsaniflush) was tired of driving. So here we are in Morgantown, Wv in an Econo Lodge (or, an Eco Lod, as the neon out from said... i think it's a much better name).

Tomorrow, we hope to make it to Southern Georgia or Northern Florida....

I had to lie. I hate doing it, but i had to.

First, i told my boss that i needed from the 4th to the 20th off for our trip. Then, we made our plans on how we were going to get from Buffalo to Miami, but i didn't share them with my boss, thinking more time off would be better.

Then, i found out that there is an open competitive civil service exam for developmental disability aide trainees on the 5th. So, i signed up for the test.

My boss thinks we are leaving today. Instead, i will be at an American Legion in West Seneca writing a 3 hour civil service exam.

So, i agree with you, (e:Mike,43181) today is a big day.

Super Tuesday. I wish i could vote. Perhaps, someday, like Craig Ferguson, i will go from being a green card holder (Legal Permanent Resident) to a citizen.

Fat Tuesday. Not often it falls on the 5th... it really would be a good day to go out and get shitfaced. If, that is, i drank. Since it is the last day i will be 38.

Hey, (e:Mrmike), does it suck to have your birthday fall during lent?

A friend of ours in Knoxville is opening her own business today, too. I hope all is going well for her on her first day.... I am proud of her and sure she will be a success.

Tomorrow, my 39th birthday. We will probably leave for Miami in the afternoon. If not, we will leave first thing on the 7th.... We need to be in Cocoa Beach the evening of the 8th and in Miami on the 9th. The 10th we board the cruise ship as guests for my cousin's wedding. Then, the ship sails.

Let's face it, as we age, gravity no longer remains a friend of ours.

Never really has been a friend to me because, well, i tend to drop things. If there was no gravity, that thing i just dropped would not fall to the floor and break or smash. Simple. It would just float about right at the place it slipped out of my hands and i would grab it and go on with life.

Let's go in another direction for a short period of time. The way back machine.

When i was developing, there was a mean, cruel little test some of the girls did to show how wonderfully perky their new boobies were becoming. Take a pencil, and place it underneath said boobie. If the pencil falls to the ground, then you had good boobs. If it stayed put, it was time to raise the arms to shoulder level and thrust the elbows backwards over and over again while chanting in a sing song, 'we must, we must, we must increase our bust, the bigger the better, the tighter the sweater, the more the boys depend on us!' At ages 9, 10 and 11, i failed that test. No amount of sing song chanting would help, either. Damn it.

Now, 30 years later, i would fail that test if i used a pack of 50 pencils.

Somewhat unrelated, i went bra shopping a few days ago. Another underwire snapped. Time to do some replacing.

The staff member i dealt with at the shop was tactful. Mellon shaped or tear drop shaped, she asked? Uhm, how about ironing board shaped? Got a bra for that?

Yesterday, i wore one of the 4 new bras i purchased. I decided on one of the more supportive models. And now, 16 hours later, my ribs feel bruised.

Not just a monthly phenomena

About an hour ago, my mom called. She had a consult with my grandfather's g.p. this morning. The ct scan shows cloudy areas in his brain. Right now, they are saying the clouds are tumors. So, turns out he isn't crazy, doesn't have senile dementia or alzheimers. Instead, he just might be terminally ill. They (my mom and her brother -- his only 2 children) are going to confirm the diagnosis with more tests and an oncologist. They probably are not going to tell him. His g.p. suggested it might make the rest of his life a panic without him understanding or knowing why.

I wonder if all retail is as huge a clusterfuck as my place of employment...

The staff meeting on Sunday was... uhm... interesting. It is facinating to watch your boss lie her ass off to save face in front of her boss. To watch her put others down to make it appear as thought she has been doing her job all along. When really, she has been phoning it in to the very person she is saying is being lazy at work. Huh?

I have had a note taped up on the boss' desk for quite some time that my parents, as birthday and xmas gifts to us this year, are paying for tickets to my cousin, Rob's wedding cruise, and when i needed time off. I recently confirmed those dates with another note. So, when the schedule is done (in advance! *GASP*), i see that i am working days i am not even in town. Interesting.

Seems the manager decided she wanted to take a weeks holiday at the same time. So, i mentioned to her that she is scheduling me for time i cannot work... i did, after all, say i needed from the 4th on off, so why i am i working the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th?! Another note with our itinerary was written. I wonder if she will have me working right up until the moment i leave? Probably.

What she doesn't know is that i need an additional day off... i just let her believe that it is part of the trip.

I am signed up to write and open competitive civil service exam to be a Developmental Disability Aide Trainee for the state of NY. On the 5th of February, the day before my birthday. The higher my score, the higher up on the waiting list i go. Scary good.

The only issue with that might be transportation. (e:Uncutsaniflush) is working so much, he might not be able to drive me. And the test is in West Seneca not near any bus route (i checked, NFTA said that there were no stops within walking distance of my destination). I am usually so organized about things. All my ducks in a row before i say i can or cannot do something. I wonder how much a cab would cost from the West Side to West Seneca? Anyone want to be my car service?

In other news, my Grandfather continues to spiral downhill. (e:LeeTee,42687) No retirement home (or as they say here Assisted Living Facility) would take him because he needed far too much attention and guidance.

His health is decent... well, except for the strokes they think he keeps having. He has gone for MRI's and tests and been poked and prodded. I don't think he understands what is going on. Which might be a good thing for him. Seems he kept saying his life amounted to nothing, and when my mom or dad reminded him of what he had done, he would say, "I did that!?!"

He has been living with my parents for a week or so. He couldn't live alone. And my parents have a home business. Imagine bringing what is essentially a large toddler to work every day. No attention span or memory, the inability to be able to get to the bathroom and back alone. It has been very difficult for my mom. Not just because it is her father and they have always had a rocky relationship, but because the burden of caring for him in the morning and during most of the day falls on her. She had a tightly scheduled life before this and a very busy business, so i suspect she is stressed, to say the least.

I tears my heart out to not be able to help. To not be able to be there to help her help her father. Or help her at work. I offered to help, but my work schedule, (e:Uncutsaniflush)'s schedule and the fact that i do not have a driver's licence all conspire to leave me unable.

Finally, however, today, being at the top of the critical wait list has paid off. He has a placement today... not too far from my parents.

And, as planned, this afternoon, (e:Uncutsaniflush) and i are heading into Stoney Creek this afternoon to help my mom out at my grandpa's condo. I think she wants me to pick out things i want before they pack things up. Personally, none of that really matters to me, but it matters to her, so i will go do it. If it helps her, i will do it. I hope to be able to help her pack some things up, too. If not today, then in the future, once the place is sold.

• sigh*

I confess. I love Graham Norton. I forgot how naughty he is... and what presenters on the telly in Blighty can get away with. If there is a way for Graham to make a joke dirty, he will manage it. Makes me giggle...

Not too long ago, (e:Uncutsaniflush) and i dvr'ed an episode on BBC America. We thought the reuniting of the original actors from The Dukes of Hazzard would be amusing. It was.

But it was the last song done by the musical guest that turned into a bit of an obsession (pun intended, see video) for me. His first song about wanting to bed Daisy... uhm, no, he meant Bo and Luke was interesting and amusing. His comedy while chatting on the sofa was strange. But that last song... i needed to have it.

Last night, (e:Uncutsaniflush) found it for me. And i uploaded it to youtube.

I cannot get this song out of my head. The (fake?) Norwegian rap is amusing... so is the line "i need him like a fat chick hates the gym". Enjoy...

This time of year can bum me out. Working retail doesn't help. The mad rush should be over, but now is the time of the mad returns and exchanges. And i truly am sorry that we run out of things; if it were up to me, we would have in the blowdryer/curling iron/flat iron/rollerset/makeup mirror you saw before the holidays. Mainly so i wouldn't have to hear the complaints.

Not having a regular schedule is exhausting to me as well. The manager, for reasons only known to her but i suspect are pure laziness, only puts up the wildly varying schedule a few days before it begins. I only work there about 20 hours a week, so i would think it shouldn't be this taxing on me. Yet how i am expected to plan the remaining portions of my life if i do not know when i am working and when i am not? Oh, yeah, that's right, i guess i am not supposed to. I think i am supposed to wait on the edge of my chair for someone to tell me when i am supposed to spring into action.

Spring into action and be positive when customers call me a bitch for telling them they cannot try on nail polish before they buy it. Spring into action and remain positive when customers come in demanding a refund on a hair colour that did not turn out because they neglected to tell the employee that they currently have black dyed hair... a refund without even the empty box or the receipt? I don't think so.

I would so like to see my father on his birthday, but i don't think it is going to happen this year. Poor sap gets so many "here, this is for Xmas AND your birthday" gifts. So, this January 7th, he is getting a phone call.... and a separate gift i hid in the house that my mom is going to give him.

So, through all the B.S. that is working retail... i am actually trying to remain positive. This is me, cursing under my breath, trying to remain positive...

I Can Has Cheezburger? helps me when i am feeling blah...