EDIT: original blog is located below, simply titled, Reagan Diaries. I added, "Conversations with Self pt1" originally written 8/29/07 and posted at www.myspace.com/marquiscut
I add it here for prosperity.

Conversations with Self pt1

"If the extent of my knowledge was limited strictly to formal education, than I would really know nothing at all". ~Carey, 1998


The thought came to me today, "(You) will go on a sabbatical".

But haven't I, essentially, been on one?

"Over the course of your life and more specifically in the past year, you have been to a lot of places, but it has been a few months since you have really pushed out the edges of your mind. And that is really where you want to go; that is where the experience is. Your initial sabbatical presented your freedom, this one, will reinforce it."

Well, what of these past few months, were they for naught?

"Everything serves to enhance your experience. There are no coincidences; there is a reason. There is no 'lost time'; not when you have been listening, observant, asking questions, feeling and knowing. Continue to probe deeply into subjects that intrigue you, bring you into your element; it is there that you will see yourself."

What's that last part about?

"Everyone has a picture in their head of who they are. They can see what they look like, what they are doing, what their surroundings look and feel like and generally what their life is like and how they would like it to be. That picture is a snap shot of something very real, yet how often is it far from what IS, today? Choices made bring people further or closer to that picture. However, you are there, but now seeking to go further, yes?"

Yes. Gratefully, yes.

"So go beyond what that picture is, and you will find your Self. Contemplate what your wants and needs are; enlist your five senses to assist you in seeing all that is you and all that you want it to Be. What you come up with is your new picture. That is what this is all about."

So, I need quiet time to reflect, gather information, and figure out my next "picture"?

"Yes, you've got it. Now what are you going to do with it, Carey??"

I'm going to listen carefully and allow myself to bring forth all that is me. Eek! There is so much to learn, to see, to experience! I have questions that I must not be afraid to ask. I need to figure out why I know and feel the things I do. How is it that I have known things, seen the connections, when I have yet to encounter the material, the experiences? And when I have, nothing feels novel, exactly. So much has made sense to me for a long time now; over three decades, really.

Now I sit here and think about my earliest remembered experiences.

"Ah very good, you know what this is, yes?"

I thought to say, this is the transition to my sabbatical, but there is more to it than that. This is.. everything..

"yes.."

---

More and more I probe deeper, searching for new beacons of information and connection. I seek to expand my current schema. To actively pursue the understanding of how people are just beginning to gravitate towards certain subjects yet I have felt has been a deep part of me.. always. I intend to one day be able to articulate those "things" as originally as possible as I hold no desire to "regurgitate" what is currently available to readers, yet I also know for certain that no words are needed; that is just how it is. However, as with people before me, I too, will try to share all that is.

I would like to find a physically quiet spot to engage in some concentrated thinking, researching, reading, writing, learning and unlearning. My home is quiet, clean and peaceful, however, a change in environment would be beneficial, creatively speaking. I'm not particular on where, as long as I can concentrate. I prefer somewhere that I can both stretch my legs and my mind. If trails or a swimming spot are readily available, then that would be ideal. Oh, and a Hot Spot for laptop-internet use. My mind is just swirling with thoughts and ideas; its imperative that I clarify some of it.

That may have seemed an odd style to write a blog. Have you ever asked yourself a question then quietly an answer comes to mind? For those that have experienced this, it shows that you are comfortable in asking those questions. Sometimes we don't want to know the answers, so we never ask the question. Yet when you listen carefully, you will provide your own insight to the questions and concerns you may have. For those that have never heard the feedback, just practice listening real close. Its there...

Read to write, write to seek, seek to understand.

---

original blog, "Reagan Diaries"

Keeping it simple.



An excerpt*from Ronald Reagan's recently published diaries:

"A moment I've been dreading. George(Bush senior) brought his ne're-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one(Jeb) who lives in Florida. The one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I'll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they'll hire him as a contributing editor or something. That looks like easy work."

• This is floating around. Anyone see it? I havent checked for source yet.

• Oooh, if you like Kashi products, check out this link for an easy, free snack. Kashi is having a "snack drive", encouraging people to trade in their regular snack for a "nutritious Kashi alternative"

http://www.kashi.com/outreach/snack_drive

• Camping trip this weekend. It has been planned since last year. I am not quite sure where it is that I am going; all I know is that my friends know where to go and I am pretty much tagging along. I have yet to pack, although most of my gear is ready to go. It should be a good weekend, weather wise, and I look forward to this adventure.

• However, I will miss out on Youngstown Labor Day Field Days, which means I will miss out on the one time of year that I buy fried dough. Its so good and makes me feel gross, but its tradition. I may have to go the following weekend to the Lewiston Peach Festival, where I am sure they will have fried dough, if I feel the need to have it. Then again, if I am back early enough on Monday, I might just be able to grab one yet. yay!

• August is really just about over. That kind of freaks me out. I went swimming most days this week just because I know that there really aren't too many days left to do so. It being like 90 yesterday and today was perfect. There wasnt a cloud in the sky today; just sun. A gorgeous summer day. As I always end up saying, but don't follow through, I need to get a swim membership somewhere for the winter months. I really like swimming, even if I pretty much stink at it.

• Anyone know if cabins are available at camp parks in the middle of winter?

• I've been told now by several friends that I need to have one of my famous bonfire-gatherings. I figure I will try to plan something come late summer/early fall, maybe around my b-day.

heh






oh, please, someone notices, right???? haha

I'm itching to put up a new outgoing message on my home answering machine. Well, I used to do my own really fun ones, but have since decided against using my voice (there is someone who calls repeatedly and I don't want to give him incentive, if ya catch my drift), sad since I can't find too many already available for me to use. Since the default message is booooring, I am known to put up all sorts of silly messages. There is one site I have been using to record to my home phone:
click the blue title to listen.

Right now, I have the credit approval one.

"Hello, At the tone please leave your name and telephone number plus your MasterCard, Visa or American Express account number, and pending credit approval we'll get back to you."

"stalker-dude" actually rattled off a bunch of numbers on that one; I almost wouldn't doubt that they were real.

Has anyone used messages other than the standard- 'not here, leave message' variety-- whether in own voice or a pre recorded fun kind?

Any sites I should check out?


hmm, which to choose-- maybe some George Costanza.

Usually, when I check my messages, I get a message from someone who is just laughing followed by hanging up; and then a callback with what they had intended to say before getting thrown off by my message.

its always good to laugh!

I was just reading about, Faces of Buffalo-mosaics made from 'self portraits' drawn by people of the community. Made me think of our own, right here.
Faces of Buffalo was at the Elmwood Ave Festival of Arts, not sure if anyone saw it.

taken from above website:
""Faces of Buffalo", the first ever community-wide event of its kind in that everyone is welcome to participate each year by creating their self portraits and other drawings to be united into beautiful mosaics representing the community."

Looks like part of Faces is fund-raising/Charity stuff. I'm still working my way through the site.

Faces is accepting portraits through Dec 31st 2007. Go for it, (e:jim) !



I initially drew my user-pic then didn't meant to erase it.



next couple of places Faces of Buffalo will be at:
[box] DEC 8,9 & DEC 15,16
McKINLEY MALL FUNDRAISER
FOR THE STACEY SCOTT
LUNG CANCER REGISTRY

YOU CAN DRAW YOUR FACES
AND BUY MOSAIC PRINTS!
40% SUPPORTS THE CHARITY!
LOCATED NEAR THE FOOD COURT INSIDE McKINLEY MALL

.......................

SEPT 3, LABOR DAY
McKINLEY MALL FUNDRAISER
FOR THE STACEY SCOTT
LUNG CANCER REGISTRY

YOU CAN DRAW YOUR FACES
AND BUY MOSAIC PRINTS!
40% SUPPORTS THE CHARITY!
LOCATED NEAR THE FOOD COURT INSIDE McKINLEY MALL
10 am - 4 pm[/box]

Swimming then finishing a landscape project is on my agenda for the day.
Have a good say peeps.

Since I had to wait for the ac adapter cord to come in before I used this laptop again, I completely forgot about the pictures I took while in Esopus-Kingston area a couple of weeks ago. I had to resize them to upload on estrip, so there is just a sampling.






look for the Heron in the next two pics!

originally posted 8/27/07 at www.myspace.com/marquiscut

"Starbooks Down the Espresso Hole"

Starbooks down the Espresso Hole
There is something delicious about wandering the aisles of a bookstore. I'm in my element and feel so at home amongst the shelves of authors writing about a plethora of subjects; admiring their ability to take me into a another world of creativity, enhance my knowledge or simply pique my interest on something I haven't yet encountered.

A real treat is in finding book sellers that cater to old publications. There is sensual pleasure in deeply inhaling the scent of old books, especially those bound in leather. Slowly dragging my fingertips down the spines of literary works; curious of their contents I grasp the book, pull it off the shelf and gingerly open the front cover. The feel of the pages differ from each selection, some smooth like tissue paper, others course and fiberous. The look and smell of the book is just the beginning, it is the contents, the anticipation of reading, that draws me in to the experience.

I want to read it all, and sadly I know I won't. However, I read often and thoroughly and am pleased with the ever growing and ever depleting pile of books in my home. With a recent Amazon order, I just added 14 related books to that pile. Learning and unlearning is my objective, and somehow, I predict Amazon's stock to rise in direct proportion to my orders ;)

As a child, I fell in love with the local village library; our primary source for attaining reading material. Thanks to a keen interest and the assistance of my mom, I learned to read early. I had simple stories mastered prior to kindergarten. I vividly recall often choosing books over toys when allowed to select something for myself at the store. It wasn't an easy choice (can't I have both?), but the book often won out. Words fed my imagination and eventually my imagination produced words. I began writing stories at an early age as well, complete with illustration. How simple, darling and profound those early stories; if they are still around, I would very much like to excavate them. Through reading, writing and drawing, the pictures and words took me places that I could feel in the same sense as though it were tangibly real. More words were eventually produced with the advent of the "diary", later re termed, "journal"; a medium that would serve me well from the age of nine to current, a few weeks shy of 32.

Its been several years since I've checked out a selection from the library. I much prefer to buy books and read them at my leisure and have them to refer back to forever more.

In this love and pursuit of ever expanding knowledge and creative expression, it was with pleasure to accompany my best bud, Dana, to one of the local and larger booksellers, Barnes and Noble earlier today. It never fails that my reaction is that of building anticipation. I edge towards the entrance and pass over the threshold, I am suddenly exposed to books and media in the form of new fiction, best sellers, non fiction, business, religion, philosophy, biographies, summer reading, local authors, magazines, physics, science fiction, bargains, nature and so much more. It used to be that I would feel overwhelmed upon entering- unsure of where to start, who to read, what subjects to pursue, etc. I feel more confident and in control now that I have made a dent, so to speak, even though as soon as I make a dent, it is quickly filled with new material. What is diffent now, from say 15 or even 9 years ago, is that I walk down the aisles and can point to multiple familiar authors and subjects. I've read a lot, but I have a lot to go. Today, I refrained from purchasing, but I did write down a few titles I would like to have in my possession. In short, reading and learning is a constant of mine.

And when combined with caffeine and good company, it is all good.

I like that this Barnes&Noble has a Starbucks situated inside. I've mentioned previously that while I derive pleasure in supporting local business, I will gravitate towards whichever demonstrates quality and consistency- Starbucks wins out for all other coffee offerings in the Western New York area; and this one happens to be next to aisles and aisles of books. As of today, I call that location, "Starbooks". Actually, there are two other Starbucks in the same plaza. With three to choose from- Dana and I pondered where the invisible phase line intersects the three and is there a Burmuda Triangle phenomenon? If found, would we suddenly be sucked into a caffeinated abyss? A black hole? no, more appropriate would be an Espresso Vortex. I tried calling it a "Black Affagotto" but she said it sounded dirty; like that has ever stopped us before. Hello, what other 4th graders were administratively separated from being in same class for 5th grade due to our penchance for all things perverted? hmmm? "U.S. Male" 9 year old typo? I think not.. hahaha

Which just reminded me a decidedly hilarious remark I made today while snickering down the "christianity" aisle holding a book with an expressive Pope on the back cover; and I will stop there. Apologies in advance for any offense I may have caused, but please know, that *everything* is open territory for my sense of humor to explore.

And apologies for being the cause of Dana tearing out a post surgical staple on her belly from uncontrollable laughter. I should come packaged with a warning label.

And so, although I left the bookstore empty-handed, I was pleased to have had the chance to wander around for hours- thinking about what I have read, the books I am currently reading, the ones I have lined up to read next and the ones I have yet to know about..

..and thinking, its time to put all that writing to good use-- I really felt the connection to that thought today, and it felt.. right...

________________________________________________

original (e:strip) post 8/26/07, "WOOT.com"

I laugh easily, find humor in most things, but this had me in tears. I can really appreciate a good write up, especially in places you don't quite expect it. I've been sniffing around Woot lately, hoping there is nothing I need, right then and there, cause its so cheap, and i need one NOW. No, yesterday. So far so good; amusing stuff, but nothing that has gotten me spastic. Anyway, the following item was yesterdays I think. Initially I ignored the product description since I have no intentions to go TiVo (although tempting), despite that the product would be free. Realizing I never closed out of the page, I went to do so and something caught my eye. I proceeded to read the whole page. I thought I would share with you, perhaps make you giggle too. They are usually kinda quirky with what they write, but oh oh oh, this got me. Funny, huh? especially when read out loud with dramatic voice inflection. No seriously.


[box] Practically FreeVo

Sign up for a year of TiVo service and receive a $170 rebate - the equivalent of getting this TiVo free, plus $35 towards your service contract.

Look, it's time we had a talk. We're worried about you, and we can't just sit here while you destroy yourself, while you waste your life trapped in a squalid cycle of degradation. Please, for the sake of those who love you: stop watching TV commercials.

The average American watches about 2.5 hours of television every day. About 40 of those minutes are taken up by TV commercials. Multiply that by 50 years, and commercials will have destroyed over 500 days of your adult life. Remember that when you're on your deathbed wishing you could spend one more day with your grandkids.

There is a way out. You're not alone. To fight this epidemic of slow TV death, Woot and TiVo have teamed up to make a limited number of TiVo R54080 Series2 80 Hour Digital Video Recorders available to victims of TV commercial syndrome, for a special sufferer's price. And if you buy one and sign up for a year of TiVo service, you're eligible for a $170 rebate, which will pay for the TiVo itself plus two month's worth of service. We just wish we could do more.

And we haven't even mentioned the time you waste sitting through one show because you're waiting for the next one, or watching some random garbage on TV because nothing good is on. Perhaps it's best that no statistics are available about this more insidious form of time-drain - the full horror would be too overwhelming.

We dream of a world where anyone can dial up the latest episode of Age of Love or UFC Unleashed any time, day or night...where a handicapped child can watch an entire episode of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody in 22 minutes...where agonized Chicago Cubs fans can process their pain by repeated slo-mo viewings of whatever bizarre misplay keeps them out of the World Series next time. We say to that lonely adolescent boy in the heartland, struggling with new, unfamiliar feelings: "Never again will you miss a Cinemax After Hours feature presentation." We say, to those still scarred by the "smunchy" disaster: "Never again."

You will watch what you want to watch, when you want to watch it, and nothing more. But we can't do it alone. You have to want help. The road back will be long and rough and littered with those who didn't make it. But with TiVo and Woot by your side, hope is more than just a currently unfashionable girl's name. Together, we can beat this thing.[/box]


Someone on here has a woot-like page set up-- outdoor equipment or something? that could be dangerous for me..


PS Confessions of Matchmaker tonight, 11pm A&E channel 42. See previous post for more info!

I wrote about this before: (e:theecarey,39775)

I've been watching Confessions of a Matchmaker on and off since its debut back in May, I think. There are a few I need to catch up on, but (e:pyrcedgrrl) has them recorded. yay!

Some of the episodes are really quite hilarious funny. For those that don't know, Confessions is a Buffalo based "reality" show. Auditions then taping occurred earlier this year. My friend, (e:inspiraysean) is on the show, and will be finally making his episode appearance this Sunday, August 26th at 11pm on A&E. Look for "Sean K"

I do believe this is the last episode of the season.

haha, he's been touted as Patti's most difficult case yet. ;)

A little more info about the show taken from their website:

Set in Buffalo, New York, CONFESSIONS OF A MATCHMAKER follows singles desperate for Patti's help, from their initial interview, through the date, and finally, to the often painfully honest follow-up where Patti assesses their performance and reveals whether or not a match has been made. The series goes inside the real world of dating, where people are flawed and sometimes just need a good swift kick. And Patti is not afraid to give it to them. The Simon Cowell of dating, Patti's brutal honesty and gut instincts are like nothing you've ever seen. They may not end up in a hot-tub at the end of every episode...in fact, more than likely, they'll end up in hot water with Patti for not following her advice!

I really think that Angela, who appeared on episode three was one of our peeps, (e:angelal) ?-- not that she has been on here in a long long time, to ask.

So anyways, watch it. Its funny. Its Buffalo..

I'm more apt to have various rums on hand, yet I've recently taken to making a refreshing glass of vodka with pomegranate juice, lime and club soda over ice. I normally don't care what kind of vodka, as it usually blends in with whatever its being mixed with, but with this concoction, I can really tell the difference between a smooth vodka and one that is bottom of shelf pushed way back, covered in dust variety.

So my question is, what, in your opinion is the better/best vodka brand?

..and not crazy expensive.

Thanks :)

The weekend is officially here! What are you going to do? Looking no further, here are a few activities I've highlighted that are going on this weekend:


Festivals this weekend:
* Elmwood Avenue Festival of the Arts
* Historic Lewiston Jazz Festival
* Buffalo Beer Fest
(yes, a festival devoted to BEER!)
* Polish Harvest Festival
* Tomato Festival
* Buffalo Irish Festival

Nice thing about festivals is that they can be squeaked in among all the other going ons in your weekend plans.


Elmwood Avenue Festiival of the Arts 25th and 26th

• 180 Artist booths:
  
• Lots of music: (entertainment roster)
  
• Food--ofcourse!! (list of participants):

• Cultural and Environmental Row:

[box]Westerrn New York is rich in arts and cultural organizations that only
enhance our community experience. Cultural/Environmental Row at the
Elmwood Avenue Festival of the Arts will be showcasing over 35
community organizations. At Environmental Row on Auburn Ave., learn how to decrease energy consumption while lowering your utility bills! Local Theaters, Art Galleries, small community choruses, children's arts and sports organizations will be on hand to share information at Cultural Row on Breckenridge Street. The Elmwood Avenue Festival of the Arts Environmental Row will be partially powered by The Sunweaver
Renewable Energy Show for the fourth year! Wind Action Group, Buffalo Niagara Riverkeeper, and Buffalo Blue Bicycle(Buffalo's latest alternative to the combustion engine) will all be on Environmental Row[/box]






Historic Lewiston Jazz Festival is this weekend, 24,25,&26th

Its FREE!!

• 30 musicians

---Music schedule/locations:

• Antique Show
  
• Vintage Car Show
  
• Kid Stuff

probably food/wine and other nice add ons :)

[box]Jazz Musicians will perform throughout the village of Lewiston, NY in numerous restaurants and lounges -- as well as at a variety of outdoor sites along Center Street -- on Friday evening and all day Saturday and Sunday. All jazz performances are free to the public.

In addition enjoying jazz played by world-class musicians, attendees at the free event can browse for treasures at a premier antique show, view Jaguars and other classic cars at a vintage car show, and sample a wide array of culinary delights provided by local restaurants and regional wine producers. The Festival is presented by the New York Power Authority (NYPA), the event's founding sponsor, The Lower Niagara River Region Chamber of Commerce, the Village of Lewiston, and the Town of Lewiston.[/box]





Buffalo Brewfest - August 25 2007, 2-6pm - "Come spend the afternoon tasting beer from local breweries, food, entertainment and more". ((ok!))
495 Paderewski Drive, Buffalo 14212


^^director's pick, hehe




Polish Harvest Festival -Sat. Aug 25 to Sun. Aug 26
11:30A.M. - 8:00P.M.
"Festival that celebrates Polish "Thanksgiving." Features Polish foods & beer, live music, farmers' market,crafts, theme baskets, Polish folk Mass (8/26 at 11:00A.M.)"
199 Clark St., Buffalo 14212



5th Annual Tomato Fest Fri. Aug 24 to Sun. Aug 26
8-24-07 12P-9P, 8-25-07 & 8-26-07 10A-8P
"Festival includes delicious daily food, beer garden, farmer's market, Chinese auction, rides, games, crafts, live bands. Tomato Contests: Biggest,Best Dressed,Eating,& Sauce. Fri. - Ms Tomato Pageant.
Sat. - Car & Motorcycle Show. Sat/Sun - Disc Golf Tourney.
Sun. - 5-K race/walk"
Old Lake Shore Rd. & Evangola Parkway, Brant 14081




Buffalo Irish Festival Fri. Aug 24 to Sun. Aug 26
Fri-5p-11p, Sat-noon-11p, Sun-noon-9p
"The 25th Annual Buffalo Irish Festival featuring foods from Ireland & US, including Irish bangers,corned beef & cabbage, potato chowder, scones, soda bread,Irish stew, & a variety of beers. Goods & Craft vendors, Irish Step-Dancing, & live music."
5600 McKinley Pkwy, Hamburg 14075



more activities info for WNY area:


Not sure yet what I am up for; any one or all of them sound good. Beerfest is at the top of my list, I think.. I could just open my fridge for a nice selection.

Anyway, have fun whatever you choose! :)

~Carey