I've made a decision. Thanks to Anthony Bourdain and his travel/food show No Reservations He got a tattoo on last night's show and i guess mine has been in the back of my mind for a while now. I woke up this morning, having made a decision.

This is the design i am going with.



Just a few moments ago, i spoke to an artist i liked before when i was thinking about this. But once again, the decision found me without me over thinking it. Kinda the way Diamond did when she was a kitten... her finding me. Perhaps that is why i am thinking about this tattoo in her honour this way.

The place i am going to is Strage Brew Tattoo (damn, i just asked her what her name is as well and i forgot already, my brain just forgets some things soooo quickly.. i reckon i will find her, there is only her and her apprentice there that tattoo) on Elmwood in Kenmore. I am going to go show her what i want and see if and when she can do it. I would like it to be done on the 25th. This one or the next one, but it has to be on the 25th. The anniversary date of when Diamond died.

If anyone has heard anything good, bad or indifferent about this place, will ya'll let me know? Thanks!

P.S. To "guest" in chat that was looking for "where to find" me... If you want to find my journal entries and i am not in the last 12, go to the box in the upper right hand corner with the last 12 in it and hit show all... i hope i would be in there somewhere. If that is what you meant by it. That's all i can think of. Or, you can email me. Your choice, mr or ms mystery guest person.

(e:Alison) mentioned (e:Matthew) in her post today, which made me think that i wanted to take yet another look at (e:Matthew)'s beautiful photos and all that was there was a default face and a no posts. Your favie 5, categories and links are still there, (e:Matthew), and the only way to get to one of your journal entries is to click on a category and select a journal entry. Going back 10 doesn't work. I hope the construction (e:Paul) is doing with Linux isn't making your entries invisible!!

I would also like to thank (e:Ladycroft) for her generous offer of tomatoes! Sweet of you to offer them to us all!

My friend Mark has been in town for the weekend (both he and Walt are sleeping now, or else, no offense, i wouldn't be typing here). Sure is nice to see him... i miss him like crazy sometimes. Know him for longer than any other person that is not family. Over 20 years... close to 25. Hell, i reckon by now, he is family. Wish i could see him more. He's the person who made me be the person i am today. His love and support and friendship through thick and thin... don't know what i would have done without it. He is the one person that taught me that silly is good. Me being silly is better. Me and him being silly is fun. Love the guy. Wish he were my blood family (and that's NOT because his 'rents are rich! lol).

Today, my best friend Mark had to have his 18 year old cat, Emo put to sleep. Emo had kidney failure and needed to have pills every day and injections every other day. More recently, Emo had troubles eating and it was discovered that he had yet another abcessed tooth. More meds to battle another infection may have interfered with his kidney pills and despite it being a hell of a lot harder than he thought it would be, Mark made the decision it was time to let Emo go.

Back in February, Walt and i stayed at Mark's place in Toronto and took care of Emo. Mark went to Boston to help out his friend (and ex girlfriend), Aimee after she was in a car accidnet that killed her boyfriend and left her with a broken pelvis. I couldn't do much to help Aimee but i could do what i had in my power to help Mark to help her by staying with Emo. I got to know Emo even better during those 8 days. I didn't get much of a chance to hang with Mark and Emo after i moved out of Canada, soi it was like getting to know this very affectionate kitty all over again.

Mark called Emo an affection whore.. and he was. Anyone would do. He loved just being with people. Just laying there, smucking the top of his head against your hand as if to say "Pet me, DAMNIT!" He had respiratory problems and i know some of you may not believe it, but he was rather sensitive about it. Once Emo fell asleep near my face and i could hear the snoring and snored right back at him. He didn't like that much, the sensitvie guy.. gave me quite a swat. I deserved it.

Emo used to be called Michael. A fine name, but Mark didn't care for it much. He used to be the store cat of a used clothing store on King Street East in downtown Hamilton. That store... hell, that building isn't there anymore. Michael, as he was called then, was a mere 6 months old when Mark took him home. Mark knew almost right away what he would call him. Emo, named after his favorite comedian, Emo Philips .

It's not the best photo, but it is the only one i have. Taken during the time Walt and i were in Toronto looking after him.



RIP Emo. I will miss you lots.

Today, i had to stay at home to wait for a package to come, as delivered by UPS. I decided, since it was after 2pm, to track it online. Well, glory be, the package that was due to arrive on the 17th for the past 4 days is suddenly rescheduled. Last time we got a package from UPS the guy that delivered them (the chairs for the front porch) said he hates coming all the way out to the west side because it is "such a bad neighbourhoo". *sigh* So, i called UPS to see what the hell was up with this package. The girl at the national call center said someone from the Buffalo area center would call me "within the hour" to discuss options with me. You see, i can't stay at home and wait all day tomorrow, too. It's been about 45 minutes. Who wants to bet what i won't hear from them until i call?

This all started as a favour for my best friend, Mark, who is coming to visit us this weekend. Prying Mark out of his beloved Toronto is difficult... the option of feeding the lorikeets at the Buffalo Zoo tempted him (are my friends and family coming to see me or the birdies?). Recently, Mark boycotted Nike, who now owns Converse, which means he cannot wear his former uniform of chucks. So, he found a place in Toronto that sells PF Flyers, but they don't have any black ones. Mark said "what if i suddenly need to go to a funeral; i can't wear red shoes!", and he found a place online that has his size. But said company won't take out of country credit cards. OK, so, i used mine and got them to ship the shoes here... via UPS (i told the guy at the company that the Post Office might be cheaper and more efficent, but he just laughed... i was SERIOUS!! Sheesh!). They said they would be here Tuesday, Wednesday at the LATEST. We are going to Canada tomorrow, to visit with my family and then we will pick Mark up on Friday morning and all drive back here. We were hoping his damn shoes would be here so he can have and wear them on the weekend. Looks like UPS doesn't want that.

Still no ring ring ring from UPS. Shocked? I'm not. *sigh*

[size=m]UPDATE[/size]

UPS called. They take take the complaint seriously that they don't like to deliver to the "west end". Someone will be there to deliver the package "between 5 - 5.30pm" today. Wow. Shock. If it happens, it appears as though Mark will have his shoes and i need to find me some vegetarian crow.

We went to the fair today. When we lived in Knoxville, we went to the Tennessee Valley Fair and i guess i expected most fairs to be the same.

I was happily surprised today. It reminded me a little bit of the EX (aka the Canadian Nation Exhibition), which i loved going to as a kid. We went every year and my dad and i always came home with lots of stuffed animals. Brought up all sorts of warm and fuzzy childhood memories.

Today, i was a good girl, not pigging out on junk food all day. Just had a portabella sandwich with cheese and split some fries with (e:uncutsanilfush).

I saw all sorts of cute and fuzzy animals... had a nice convo with an older retired man taking care of his Devon Horned sheep. Fed a few goats, petted some bunnies, petted some cows, discussed world events with horses, looked lovingly at some very young piglets and talked to some parrots. Sat, looking at the elephant give rides, wondering how happy she is, feeling sorry for her... i just love elephants and i just don't know how happy a life she leads, having people sit on her back walking around in circles all day long. Seems sad to me.

I had a nice time at the fair today. My feet might not forgive me, though... least not for a few days. They worked harder than they expected to today.

Both (e:Jason) and (e:Maureen) have written about relationships recently, and both entries lead me to think about the subject of being in a relationship and marriage...

As ya'll know, (e:cutsaniflush) is my husband. I am very proud to be his wife. But, 5 years ago, if someone had told me i would be married right now, i would have told the they were full of shit...

I never thought i was marriage material. I never thought i would get married. The thought didn't upset me, even if i was a little saddened to find out that i was, once again, not typical and certainly not "normal". I had been in some horrible, horrible relationships. Too many times i made choices based on my lack of confidence in myself... and sometimes, the availability of drugs from my partner. I can't entirely call myself a victim, but i was involved in an abusive relationship. I must have thought i deserved it, because i stuck around for far too long. Besides, his drugs were really good.

After that relationship, i became seriously ill and was partially forced to get clean (i dunno wny, but chemo and heroin don't mix. go figure). I was bald, single and newly focused. I remained celibate for about 10 years. It was the right thing for me to do. During that time, i found a lot of time to think.

I used to think i had an ideal man. As (e:Jason) mentioned, there are women who do this... men, too. We all think we have a type. I thought he would be British, maybe Irish, glasses, a bookworm, some sort of science geek perhaps. What can i say, i have weird taste? I didn't know where i would find this man, but i did think he was out there, waiting for me.

Then, i met a frog... thought he might be in Prince's clothing, just mixed up like me. But such was not the case. I got burned again... and thought i would go the celibacy route again for a while.

But i had this crush on some guy i knew online. He and i had been friends for a while... longer than i could remember, really. A year, perhaps.

He offered to pay for me to come visit him, but i was too gun shy after my last failure in the romance department. I didn't trust my instincts. Then, an odd thing happened. A former Prime Minister of Canada died, Pierre Trudeau, and it made me realize how short life is. So, i called him and we made arragements for me to visit him.

He met me at the airport on the night of Friday, October 6, 2000, and we were married on Saturday October 6, 2001. I have not regretted that decision for one moment. Being with him, marrying him. Moving to another country to be with him. Not even through all the immigration complications and stresses. I love him.

If i had to be with my type, my husband would not be who i would end up with. He and i have both said if we had met in person the first time, we might not have ever given each other a second look. But we met online, a forum in which we were both able to know someone before the thought of looks or "is he hot?" even came to mind. He is a wonderful loving caring intelligent person and i consider myself lucky to just know him, let alone be the person he decided to share his life with.

In order to find that person that we were meant to be with, whether it is forever or for a long time, or for a short life lesson, being open to the possibilities is all we can do. We will all get hurt. I wish it weren't so, but it is. But it's what we do with that hurt is what makes us better people and what we can do to make the relationship we are supposed to be in to be the way it should be.

the wind blowing a sudden cool breeze through my hair on a hot day

new and interesting cloud patterns in the sky

rain puddles and bare feet

hearing my husband speak my name with love and affection in his voice

hearing my best friend's voice on the phone

wondering if friends are having a good time overseas

seeing a bird fluttering at our bird feeder

remembering with extreme clarity the feeling of Diamond's fur

the first sip of very cold water

remembering the distinct sound of a friend's infectious laughter

wondering what happened to an old friend

the first notes of a loved song

the colour orange!

... that i had pet peeves when it came to driving that made sense, even if i don't drive myself. Yes, i am closer to 40 than 30, and i do not drive, nor have i ever.. odd, i know. I find it annoying when someone doesn't signal. I guess it is because i spent most of my life as a pedestrian (and now a passenger as well), and if i know which way the damn car is going, then i can avoid it hitting me. If it doesn't, how the heck am i supposed to know?

That said, today, i discovered something a driver might be able to do more than could annoy me even more. Read. Yes, you read that right. Today, Walt and i were behind someone in the right hand lane of the highway (i-90 just this side of Erie, PA, just so no one gets too worried that it's their neighbour or anything) who had their left turn signal on... and they didn't switch lanes, so we joked they don't have a Lee to tell them when they left their signal on (ours is quiet and for some reason i can hear it better than Walt). As we passed said driver of said minivan, i glanced over to see this woman READING A BOOK!!! She had it laying open on the steering wheel, her thumbs hooked into the wheel with the rest of her fingers spread out on the book to keep it open. Looked akward. She looked interested in her book. The child in the front passenger side looked absorbed in his comic book or magazine.. i could only see it and his blonde hair poking out. I was then and i am still in shock. Now i know it isn't just Southerns that do crazyass things when they drive!


[size=s]But the animals made it all worthwhile... [/size]

On the bright side, we did have a nice day in Erie today. They have a very nice, although small, zoo.

Walt got a couple of good pics in of the animals.



This leopard was right up at the glass.. licking it. I guess someone left something on it that was yummie.



Walt often gets the shots i try to get, so today, i asked him first off to get it for me without me fussing and missing the oportunity. I think meerkats are so damn cute!



Not too long ago, (e:Paul), you asked me in a comment in my journal about the Buffalo Zoo

I would say that the Erie Zoo sure does have one up on the Buffalo zoo as far as how the animals appear to be taken care of (nothing is as it seems, i am sure, until one goes behind the scenes of anywhere!). The Buffalo Zoo does, however, seem to be trying very hard to do its best for the animals it does have. I can see the budget problems on the cracked and badly repaired sidewalks. I hope to never see it in the care the animals get, though. As far as the specific question of the monkey cages... i don't think i saw the cage or cages you are refering to, so i would assume they are no longer there or the environment is way better than it used to be. Can't say they all have it perfect (a healthy natural place in the wild would be best, of course), but i do see the the Buffalo Zoo is really trying to be a good place for the animals.


[size=s]Then it was back to nature... [/size]

Afterward the Erie Zoo, we drove to Presque Isle State Park and took a beautiful drive and got out and walked some. We wandered a bit on a nice beach and i dipped my feet into Lake Erie. Despite what i was told as a kid at Port Dover, Ontario, i did not turn green and die. Yay me!

I am so grateful the nights are cooler. Or else this (e:strip)per would be in a puddle on the floor right now, ruining the beautuful "diamond in the square" rug we have for this here study.

I am not a big fan of the heat. I feel like i am melting some days. If only i could get rid of a few dozen pounds (permanently!) that way, i woudn't hate it so much!! If it is over 25C ( or 77F for those of you that know that temperature scale), i want to have air conditioning. Fortunatly, (e:uncutsaniflush) has done a really good job keeping our mini mansion cool this summer.

And, even i know, despite this being my first summer in Buffalo, that this is not the typical summer. I gather it is hotter than the depths of hell this year...

The last summer i spent in Hamilton was a hot one. Records were broken. I hated most every second of it. When i lived in Halifax, both summers i was there, there were weeks of temps in the 30's ( 30 = 86) and the weather critters there had warnings for the elderly to stay indoors. My first summer in Knoxville, Tennessee was a particularly hot one, too. It scare the shit out of me until (e:uncutsaniflush) explained to me that it wasn't typical. And now... now that i am here, it is Buffalo's turn. Sorry about that. It is all my fault. Can ya'll forgive me?

...as some Southerners would say, that is.

I used to have long hair with the messy look and now i have much shorter hair with the messy look.

It's been a long time since my hair looked like my userpic up there. Long straight hennaed hair with straight lightly layered bangs. I had a fringe for years and they i decided it was time to go. Took a while to grow out and since then i have done a lot of things with my very gradually shortening hair. Strange colour blocks with my favie combo of black and red mostly. The last one has had quite the mileage. It's been almost a year and the blonde the red faded to has been great. It now looks like i have blonde tips at the back. Funky.

I ended up going to Studio 806 at 806 Elmwood and a girl named Lauren cut my hiar. She was pretty good, got a new blade for her razor and everything. She listened well... and she could have gone a bit shorter, but i understand her caution.

Maybe next time we are at the zoo and buki or the birds are around, Walt will feel like taking my picture and i might not mind posting it. :O)

Speaking of... we rode our bikes to the zoo today. Was a nice day for it, although i admit i am a bit tired now.