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Last Visit 2016-01-16 09:51:58 |Start Date 2005-06-24 23:31:11 |Comments 1,550 |Entries 640 |Images 819 |Videos 30 |Mobl 7 |

Category: relationships

08/15/05 11:56 - 71ºF - ID#25510

Our Story

Both (e:Jason) and (e:Maureen) have written about relationships recently, and both entries lead me to think about the subject of being in a relationship and marriage...

As ya'll know, (e:cutsaniflush) is my husband. I am very proud to be his wife. But, 5 years ago, if someone had told me i would be married right now, i would have told the they were full of shit...

I never thought i was marriage material. I never thought i would get married. The thought didn't upset me, even if i was a little saddened to find out that i was, once again, not typical and certainly not "normal". I had been in some horrible, horrible relationships. Too many times i made choices based on my lack of confidence in myself... and sometimes, the availability of drugs from my partner. I can't entirely call myself a victim, but i was involved in an abusive relationship. I must have thought i deserved it, because i stuck around for far too long. Besides, his drugs were really good.

After that relationship, i became seriously ill and was partially forced to get clean (i dunno wny, but chemo and heroin don't mix. go figure). I was bald, single and newly focused. I remained celibate for about 10 years. It was the right thing for me to do. During that time, i found a lot of time to think.

I used to think i had an ideal man. As (e:Jason) mentioned, there are women who do this... men, too. We all think we have a type. I thought he would be British, maybe Irish, glasses, a bookworm, some sort of science geek perhaps. What can i say, i have weird taste? I didn't know where i would find this man, but i did think he was out there, waiting for me.

Then, i met a frog... thought he might be in Prince's clothing, just mixed up like me. But such was not the case. I got burned again... and thought i would go the celibacy route again for a while.

But i had this crush on some guy i knew online. He and i had been friends for a while... longer than i could remember, really. A year, perhaps.

He offered to pay for me to come visit him, but i was too gun shy after my last failure in the romance department. I didn't trust my instincts. Then, an odd thing happened. A former Prime Minister of Canada died, Pierre Trudeau, and it made me realize how short life is. So, i called him and we made arragements for me to visit him.

He met me at the airport on the night of Friday, October 6, 2000, and we were married on Saturday October 6, 2001. I have not regretted that decision for one moment. Being with him, marrying him. Moving to another country to be with him. Not even through all the immigration complications and stresses. I love him.

If i had to be with my type, my husband would not be who i would end up with. He and i have both said if we had met in person the first time, we might not have ever given each other a second look. But we met online, a forum in which we were both able to know someone before the thought of looks or "is he hot?" even came to mind. He is a wonderful loving caring intelligent person and i consider myself lucky to just know him, let alone be the person he decided to share his life with.

In order to find that person that we were meant to be with, whether it is forever or for a long time, or for a short life lesson, being open to the possibilities is all we can do. We will all get hurt. I wish it weren't so, but it is. But it's what we do with that hurt is what makes us better people and what we can do to make the relationship we are supposed to be in to be the way it should be.

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08/12/05 11:35 - 76ºF - ID#25509

It's The Little Things

the wind blowing a sudden cool breeze through my hair on a hot day

new and interesting cloud patterns in the sky

rain puddles and bare feet

hearing my husband speak my name with love and affection in his voice

hearing my best friend's voice on the phone

wondering if friends are having a good time overseas

seeing a bird fluttering at our bird feeder

remembering with extreme clarity the feeling of Diamond's fur

the first sip of very cold water

remembering the distinct sound of a friend's infectious laughter

wondering what happened to an old friend

the first notes of a loved song

the colour orange!

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Category: driving

08/12/05 12:10 - 76ºF - ID#25508

I Used To Think...

... that i had pet peeves when it came to driving that made sense, even if i don't drive myself. Yes, i am closer to 40 than 30, and i do not drive, nor have i ever.. odd, i know. I find it annoying when someone doesn't signal. I guess it is because i spent most of my life as a pedestrian (and now a passenger as well), and if i know which way the damn car is going, then i can avoid it hitting me. If it doesn't, how the heck am i supposed to know?

That said, today, i discovered something a driver might be able to do more than could annoy me even more. Read. Yes, you read that right. Today, Walt and i were behind someone in the right hand lane of the highway (i-90 just this side of Erie, PA, just so no one gets too worried that it's their neighbour or anything) who had their left turn signal on... and they didn't switch lanes, so we joked they don't have a Lee to tell them when they left their signal on (ours is quiet and for some reason i can hear it better than Walt). As we passed said driver of said minivan, i glanced over to see this woman READING A BOOK!!! She had it laying open on the steering wheel, her thumbs hooked into the wheel with the rest of her fingers spread out on the book to keep it open. Looked akward. She looked interested in her book. The child in the front passenger side looked absorbed in his comic book or magazine.. i could only see it and his blonde hair poking out. I was then and i am still in shock. Now i know it isn't just Southerns that do crazyass things when they drive!

[size=s]But the animals made it all worthwhile... [/size]

On the bright side, we did have a nice day in Erie today. They have a very nice, although small, zoo.

Walt got a couple of good pics in of the animals.


This leopard was right up at the glass.. licking it. I guess someone left something on it that was yummie.


Walt often gets the shots i try to get, so today, i asked him first off to get it for me without me fussing and missing the oportunity. I think meerkats are so damn cute!


Not too long ago, (e:Paul), you asked me in a comment in my journal about the Buffalo Zoo

I would say that the Erie Zoo sure does have one up on the Buffalo zoo as far as how the animals appear to be taken care of (nothing is as it seems, i am sure, until one goes behind the scenes of anywhere!). The Buffalo Zoo does, however, seem to be trying very hard to do its best for the animals it does have. I can see the budget problems on the cracked and badly repaired sidewalks. I hope to never see it in the care the animals get, though. As far as the specific question of the monkey cages... i don't think i saw the cage or cages you are refering to, so i would assume they are no longer there or the environment is way better than it used to be. Can't say they all have it perfect (a healthy natural place in the wild would be best, of course), but i do see the the Buffalo Zoo is really trying to be a good place for the animals.

[size=s]Then it was back to nature... [/size]

Afterward the Erie Zoo, we drove to Presque Isle State Park and took a beautiful drive and got out and walked some. We wandered a bit on a nice beach and i dipped my feet into Lake Erie. Despite what i was told as a kid at Port Dover, Ontario, i did not turn green and die. Yay me!

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Permalink: I_Used_To_Think_.html
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Category: weather

08/08/05 11:51 - 77ºF - ID#25507

It's All My Fault

I am so grateful the nights are cooler. Or else this (e:strip)per would be in a puddle on the floor right now, ruining the beautuful "diamond in the square" rug we have for this here study.

I am not a big fan of the heat. I feel like i am melting some days. If only i could get rid of a few dozen pounds (permanently!) that way, i woudn't hate it so much!! If it is over 25C ( or 77F for those of you that know that temperature scale), i want to have air conditioning. Fortunatly, (e:uncutsaniflush) has done a really good job keeping our mini mansion cool this summer.

And, even i know, despite this being my first summer in Buffalo, that this is not the typical summer. I gather it is hotter than the depths of hell this year...

The last summer i spent in Hamilton was a hot one. Records were broken. I hated most every second of it. When i lived in Halifax, both summers i was there, there were weeks of temps in the 30's ( 30 = 86) and the weather critters there had warnings for the elderly to stay indoors. My first summer in Knoxville, Tennessee was a particularly hot one, too. It scare the shit out of me until (e:uncutsaniflush) explained to me that it wasn't typical. And now... now that i am here, it is Buffalo's turn. Sorry about that. It is all my fault. Can ya'll forgive me?
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Permalink: It_s_All_My_Fault.html
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Category: hair

08/05/05 05:48 - 81ºF - ID#25506

I Gone Done Done It... some Southerners would say, that is.

I used to have long hair with the messy look and now i have much shorter hair with the messy look.

It's been a long time since my hair looked like my userpic up there. Long straight hennaed hair with straight lightly layered bangs. I had a fringe for years and they i decided it was time to go. Took a while to grow out and since then i have done a lot of things with my very gradually shortening hair. Strange colour blocks with my favie combo of black and red mostly. The last one has had quite the mileage. It's been almost a year and the blonde the red faded to has been great. It now looks like i have blonde tips at the back. Funky.

I ended up going to Studio 806 at 806 Elmwood and a girl named Lauren cut my hiar. She was pretty good, got a new blade for her razor and everything. She listened well... and she could have gone a bit shorter, but i understand her caution.

Maybe next time we are at the zoo and buki or the birds are around, Walt will feel like taking my picture and i might not mind posting it. :O)

Speaking of... we rode our bikes to the zoo today. Was a nice day for it, although i admit i am a bit tired now.
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Category: cycling

08/03/05 11:58 - 82ºF - ID#25505

I Didn't Die

Yesterday and today, (e:uncutsaniflush) and i went for a short bike ride on our new bikes..


Yesterday, we were on them for about 30 to 45 minutes and i am pleased to report my butt is not nearly as sore as i would expect.

Today, however, i could feel where i was sitting yesterday.. rather tenderly, i might add. And today was a little hotter. And we rode a little longer. Oh, my, am i out of shape! The last few minutes were a bit of a challenge.

But i am determined. I would like to be less of the woman i am today...

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Category: housing

08/02/05 11:42 - 75ºF - ID#25504

Our "Sitting Room"

As some of you may or may not know, my wonderful husband (e:uncutsaniflush) and i purchased an old victorian on the upper west side. We love this house, despite the fact that is it way to big for the 2 of us. Gradually, we have been adding our own little touches to the place and i thought i would share the lastest with ya'll.

These 2 pics are what our sitting room looked like before we purchased the house.



Once we moved in, this room got overlooked and became a dumping groudn for boxes and odds and ends. Our poor sitting room!!


We cleared the boxes and riff raff out and then, the other day, we decided to remove the big ugly black metal hood that was on the fireplace and we were happily surprised at how little damage was underneath. Just some soot from someone who decided to use the gas fireplace to burn wood in. Even i'm not that dumb!



Last week we saw a nice queen anne wing chair at Calvins for a great price and purchased the last 2 they had. We then moved the so-so book shelves (we want nicer ones, but these are ok for now) into the room to complete the half completed look. I say it is a good running start in just over 2 months!



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Permalink: Our_Sitting_Room_.html
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Category: party

07/30/05 12:27 - 72ºF - ID#25502

Thanks... And....

Thank you very much to (e:Paul) (e:Ladycroft) and (e:Shawnr) for their comments to my tattoo post. I appreciate any and all comments.

You can bet i will indeed have the work reviewed online, (e:Paul)... i post when we get a new piece of furniture, so i will be posting a tattoo for sure!

I agree, (e:Ladycroft), the "elegant" knot is a nice one... might look good on the back, too.

And (e:Shawnr) i understand why you say bigger is better... But ti honour a little cat, i think i need to get a little tattoo. I think it will probably be 6 inches across, at most...


This weekend my 'rents are coming to visit and i must admit, as much as i enjoy having them, particularly my father who was finally pried away from his easy chair... but talk about rotten timing. I know, actually, i hope there will be other parties at the mini mansion of (e:PMT) and i hope the invite will once again be extended to myself and my wonderful husband (e:uncutsaniflush). But i know the next one will not be a 10,000th journal entry party. And i don't know how long i will have to wait for our invit to the 20,000th journal entry party. Should i have made this 2 posts to help with that?

I hope everyone has a blast. I look forward to all the stories and pics people will post.
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Category: cycling

07/27/05 12:26 - 77ºF - ID#25501

Mostly Bikes

Looking for opinions again, friends, so feel free to speak your mind...

As well as think about tattoos [inlink]leetee,30[/inlink], i was also thinking about bikes. Since i don't like hiking or walking as much as i used to (i don't know if that's due to weight or age), i turned to something i used to do quite regularly. Ride my bike. I used to comute uphill (i lived in Hamilton, Ontario, then, and i lived downtown and worked on the escarpment, aka the "mountain") twice a day. I was trimmer then.

So, (e:uncutsaniflush) and i went to a local shop, Campus Wheel Works, to see what they had. So, if you some weird chick looking wobbly on a bike on Elmwood this afternoon, it was me, testing bikes and i apologize if i almost ran into anybody!

First, i test rode the milano... in a cute a turquois shade. NIce looking, but not quite right for me.

Then, i test rode this one, a Townie (love the name!) in a cute pink shade. It was better, but i didn't like the brakes on it.

Then, i rode something less cute, but comfy and more practical and less expensive.

Of course, as usual with me, they don't have my size or a girls bike in the shop, so i would have to order it. Sight unseen. I assume if the mens one, slightly too big was comfy, so will the girls one in my size... And, if i had good luck ordering from a catalog with my desk, i would like to think i might have the same luck with this?

Anyone have any recommendations on bike shops? Good, bad or indiffernet experiences with Campus Wheel Works?

Thanks to...

(e:Paul) for reminding me that i did not have a userpic up. I do now, thanks to his reminder and offer of help if i needed it. And, of course, to (e:uncutsaniflush) for his help in me getting the pic itself up.
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Category: tattoos

07/27/05 02:42 - 77ºF - ID#25500

Tattoo Opinions?

I'm looking for some input, ya', if you have an opinion, please speak up. :)

As some of you may remember, we lost our beloved cat, Diamond, last October [inlink]leetee,15[/inlink]. Since then, i have had the thought of getting another tattoo symbolizing something to do with her.... more specificly, a diamond shape. I thought about just a diamond shape, but that seemed a little bland. Then, someone suggested to me a gemstone shape. But neither seemed quite right to me.

(e:uncutsaniflush) started a google search and found this image


I liked it but it sparked a thought in me. If i have one celtic tattoo (a celtic knot arm band on my upper left arm with a claddagh), why not another? A celtic diamond, what a great idea!

These are the images i found

I like the sharp angles in this one


I like the elongated nature of this one.. and how it seems to have 4 separate sections that connect


I like the slightly irregualr nature of this one


And finally i like the geometric nature of this one (actually, these ones)


I am considering getting this on my upper back, by my neck. I have a thing about balance and i have the arm band on my upper left arm, and i have another tattoo on my right ankle. So, although i like the idea of the tattoo being over my heart somewhere, i don't want it on my chest and on my back on the left side might be too much like i have a celtic section of my body.

Anyone have any opinions on placements or designs? While i am at it, anyone have any recommendations for a tattoo artist. I may have found someone, but i don't know much about her...

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New Site Wide Comments

mike said to grandma
I'm so glad you made it safely!...

mike said to grandma
I'm so glad you made it safely!...

joe said to grandma
OMG welcome!...

joe said to mike
New years resolution to top (e:strip)?...