It's not life that matters; it's the courage we bring to it.

This is printed on the paper tab of "Throat Comfort" tea i am drinking right now.

I really do not feel like this cold i have right now is so "common". I was sick a week or so ago, but it came and went so quickly that i was surprised. I thought it was my new "i don't smoke" head that resisted the cold better. HA! It is now back... with a vengence!

So, now, i drink throat comfort tea and take herbal remedies and be miserable. I am such a bad patient.

He said he would have bought them anyway, for not reason except that they were there, but yesterday, (e:Uncutsaniflush) came home from the store with a bunch of beautiful red tulips for me. My favie! Made me cry. In a good way. They, and he, are beautiful.

Wow. A year. I didn't think i could or would ever do it. A year ago tomorrow i had my last cigarette.

It was about 11pm. I was sick. We had just come back from 10 days in Toronto, cat sitting the now dearly departed Emo [inlink]leetee,44[/inlink] for my friend Mark. I had a nice birthday there. My parents took us to see Mama Mia. It was very warm. Too warm in Mark's apartment and we didn't bring light enough clothing. I remember wearing my black rubber boots with the white poka dots on them with my red plaid mini skirt to the theatre. I remember feeling like crap the day we came back, but i thought it was just being over tired. I was sick enough to consider not having a cigarette. Big wow for me. I mean, i know i have quit bigger and badder shit than nicoteen, but i never even imagined myself as a non smoker. My doc once told me to not quit when i was sick, that i wouldn't recover as well. I remember smoking while getting chemo. Strange image, but i wasn't the only one. The cancer clinic even had an indoor smoking room for chemo patients. I still hate big ugly reclinders... remind me too much of those weeks.

For some reason, the thought occurred to me on February 17th, that i should just not smoke. Like the old NA days, one day at a time. I didn't enjoy my last cigarette. In fact, i think it made me want to puke. But that could have been the flu part. Who knows. All i know is tht i don't smoke now. I haven't since. I miss it some times. I even have the occasional dream that i started smoking again and i think, in the dream, 'damn it, i will have to quit again!' The first time was hard enough. My husband was sooo patient!

In other news, my mom is coming to town this weekend. The last time she was here was during the weekend of (e:Lilho)'s birthday party. [inlink]leetee,73[/inlink] We've seen her since, but on her turf. She wants to shop, though. Get the last of the winter clearance sales. We will probably go to the AlbrightKnox Art Gallery on Friday night. Maybe see a Frank Llyod Wright house between shops. Eat at some of her favorite places. I was thinking we could try Shango's Bistro, since (e:Paul)'s journal [inlink]paul,4172[/inlink] made it look so yummy there. Oh, and i think she wants to hang out with us, too.

When (e:Uncutsaniflush) and i announced to friends and family that we were going to be moving to Buffalo, we got a similar reaction from most. "Buffalo?!?" was overwhelming, but we also got a lot of "but there is so much SNOW there!!!"

Since we moved to Buffalo in November of 2004, we haven't really experienced a "Buffalo Snow". When we were at the Mayflower, in an apartment on the corner of Summer and Linwood, we had great views and didn't have to shovel, so we really hoped for a big drowning of snow. It didn't happen last winter.

Will this be it? Will we get the big snow we have been looking for?

Think about it folks... live the 'romance' of being snowed in... on Valentine's Day Eve!

Here's a picture of my lunch today.

Green beans were nice and yummy. The sesame bun was too doughy for me. The spring rolls were good. So were the pineapple tempura. Interesting mix of food. That plate was sort of my "dessert".

We went to a buffet in West Seneca called China One. They have a pork dim sum dumpling that (e:Uncutsaniflush) really likes...

Which reminds me. When you guys ate at Korea House [inlink]paul,4160[/inlink] the other day, (e:Paul), you missed us by a couple of hours. We ate there that same day, just way closer to stereotypical "lunch" time. Anyhoo, my point was going to be that i also get something there that has a raw egg in it, but i ask them to omit the beef. It's served in a hot pot dish and the point is to stir it about so the egg becomes a cooked sauce. I wonder if that is what yours was supposed to be? Looks like it to me. Was it in a black dish that was really hot? Or maybe it was supposed to have hot steaming broth poured over it; i've seen that there, too. I'm not sure you were supposed to eat the stuff raw... least, that is the way Korean food has been in my limited experience.

Every year, round the time of my birthday, i get down. I used to not understand why, exactly. But, thanks to the patience of my wonderful husband and some introspection, i have come to the conclusion i am, quite simply, dwelling on the negative rather than the possitive. I think about all the things i did not do in the year just gone by, not all the good things. Like quitting smoking! My goodness, i smoked for over 20 years, and since my last birthday, i quit! And although i did it when i was sick with the flu, it was freakin' hard. So, now that my birthday has come and gone, i feel a bit of relief, and i have resolved to not let it get to me next year.

We went to see my parents this weekend. They spoiled me with kitchen stuffs, little gadgets and do-dads... but not too spoiled. No cake, but a nice box of chocolates... i tried not to eat them all at once. Finished them tonight. The day after, not too bad. lol

Spent the day in Toronto yesterday. Did some shopping, got myself... oops... no, i didn't pay, (e:Uncutsaniflush) did... he got me some charms from a groovy place i like to go to in Kensington Market called Courage My Love. Hope that evil eye will help after all! Ate good chinese on Younge at Wellesley. Miss that city. We resolved to go more. Once a month, even if it is just to hang about in Chinatown. I thought we saw a sign for a vegetarian place in that 'hood... wonders will never cease. Was a cold and windy day, though, so we tried to keep ourselves warm. Day passes for the TTC help with that!!

Here's a pic i took from the top level of the GoTrain. My favie guy with my favie city in the background... the CN tower just barely visible between the buildings.

OK, folks, i got a food question for ya'll. As i sit and wait for my favie pizza to arrive, i wonder what you guys like. Where's your favie place? What's your favie toppings? Give me all the dirt!

My favie is LaNova. They have great pizza. OK, so the location is a bit... well, it is off the beaten strip, let's just say. Not too far from our place, really. It's on Ferry...

Oh yum... its here!!

Update

Thanks for all your responses, peeps! Like me, most of you have strong opinions and tastes on pizza.

Funny, though, i didn't even say what i like. Go me. I am a bit of a purist... i like cheese pizzas, preferably NY style. I am ok with some toppings, but not loads. My preference is a good thin crust cheese pie...

Which, i reckon is the opposite of your tastes, eh, (e:Theecarey)?

We tried Just Pizza once and we were disappointed. Thought it was overpriced and it seemed to be all about the toppings, not the quality of the basic ingredients.

We used to go to NY Pizza when we lived in that 'hood, (e:dcoffee)... we should check on the places you mention in South Buffalo. I love little hole in the wall places. :)

I should try my hand at homemade pizza, (e:Kara)... i could do it the easy way, really and get out my breadmaker for the dough. :O)

Yesterday was such a nice day, we thought we would take advantage of it and spend some time with the animals at the zoo. I'm glad we did. There was a lot of activity. Funny how most of us end up at the zoo in the heat of the summer, in the middle of the afternoon, but that seems to be when the animals are more likely to be hiding in the shade sleeping...

The elephants were eating when we got there and then one of them started trumpeting. She went outside and bashed around some sort of mangled plastic tub... mostly with her back feet, accompanied by more grunts and trumpets. She was loud enough to draw a wee crowd.

We even saw some dancing goats. Have no idea what they were up to, but one of them bounced about like.. well, like he was dancing.

Here are some pics...

Here is the agouti.



And a Wallaby



A cute, but slightly blurry pic of the baby giraffe... he looks curious in this shot, i think.



And one of the adults, making sure i wasn't doing anything to the cute baby..



Last, but not least, (e:Uncutsaniflush), looking at his favorite part of the zoo. He mentioned something about channelling (e:Paul)....

Or as we used to call it in my family, my brother's hangover day, since February 1 is his birthday. He turned 40 yesterday.

According to the CBC

Groundhog Day consensus: early Canadian spring
Last Updated Thu, 02 Feb 2006 09:05:23 EST
CBC News

Canadians can look forward to an early spring, based on two famous groundhogs failing to see their shadows on Thursday.

Wiarton Willie's handlers consult with the rodent seer before announcement.

Groundhog Day cheers erupted in Wiarton, Ont., as Wiarton Willie's white-gloved, purple-robed handlers made the morning announcement that the rodent hadn't seen his shadow, indicating an early end to winter.

Organizers of the Wiarton Willie Festival claim the albino groundhog's track record over the past 50 years is "better than 90 per cent."

On the East Coast, Nova Scotia's best-known woodchuck also signalled an early spring. Shubenacadie Sam emerged from his heated home at the Shubenacadie Wildlife Park outside Halifax and failed to see his shadow.

The news comes as many Canadian cities reported their warmest January on record. Environmental officials believe a vortex of cold air that usually traverses the globe is parked over Russia, blanketing Europe with arctic weather. In contrast, North America is bathed in warmer air from the jet stream.

That fact isn't lost on Wiarton Willie, said his handler, Mack MacKenzie, who translated the groundhog's comments: "Fools, it is spring already. Why are you making these silly predictions?"

South of the border, Punxsutawney Phil delivered some unwelcome news.
Mack MacKenzie, rodent handler and translator.

The large crowd gathered in Gobbler's Knob, Penn., groaned loudly after learning the chunky critter saw his shadow, indicating six more weeks of winter.

Groundhog Day legend began with a German superstition that suggests if a hibernating animal casts a shadow on the Christian holiday of Candlemas, which is Feb. 2, winter will last another six weeks. No shadow indicates an early spring.

Europeans used to watch for hedgehogs, but a hedgehog shortage in North America caused settlers to switch to woodchucks, also known as groundhogs.

Got the nicest silver elephant braclet in the mail today. It came from my friend, Linda, in Knoxville. Took these pics of them to email her my thanks, and thought i would share with ya'll.

Here it is.. matches my white gold wedding ring nicely, i think. :O)



And detail. See how it sparkles... lol.




In Other News..

We went to see the film Zathura at the cheap movies out in the wild and wicked suburban east end. Cute little film. We understand why it wasn't particularly popular. A little dark for small kids, too young for teens... i guess that is why (e:Uncutsaniflush) and i thought it was amusing. lol. But hey, it only cost us both $3 to see it. It kinda reminded me of the Robin Williams movie, Jumanji now that i think of it...


New Themes

I like the Ontario theme, (e:Paul). I swear it's not because i was born in Ontario! :O) The seafoam is pretty good, too... a tad bright, but maybe it will be good for mornings, when i need a jolt!

That was one of the first things i heard this morning. Luckily, before the phone rang, i had a chance to pee, 'cause sometimes, when i wake up in the morning, the walk from our bedroom, down the stairs and to the back of the house seems like miles.

In this case, the desperate voice on the other end of the phone was a neighbour. Through my grogginess, i found out that she got to work and a co-working casually asked her "so what did you have for breakfast?", upon which she panicked. Yikes, her eggs were still on the stove cooking!! She wanted to know if i would run over to her house and see if her house was on fire! Thank goodness, (e:Uncutsaniflush) was awake longer than i was and was able to get over there. He looked in all the windows to make sure nothing was alight while i talked to her on the phone as she rushed home. When i saw her car pull up, i went out in my robe and slippers to see how the house was. Thank goodness everything was ok... other than a pan or frying pan or whatever the eggs were in. I reckon her morning was mulit-tasking gone wrong?

Made me think how glad i was that we were home and how, for those 5 minutes or so, our neighbour had someone to at least talk to while in her panic. Which sort of lead my mind in another direction....

In my lifetime, i have always been happy to help. I think of myself as a fairly reliable person. I could be full of myself, but that really is how i see part of who i am. It honestly makes me happy to help. Now that i am married, i tend to hesitate slightly because i have someone else to consider when i give away my time... and sometimes, it involves him. He always tells me i need to be who i am and that my desire to help is something he cherishes in me. Which is just so cool to be married to someone who respects who i am.

Yet, sometimes, my longing to help leads me into feeling taken advantage of. It's happened in my past. I used to time phone calls from a friend when i was in my early 20's. Every 6 weeks, about a week before her day off the following week. Would i cut her hair... for nothing... again? I always did. Eventually, after trying a few times to hang out with her when she didn't want a haircut, i gave up. I tried to explain to her how hurtful it was, but i failed at it and eventually, i just stopped answering her calls. I would like to think i have learned from those days. But have i? Do i still feel like a doormat from time to time? Yeah. Do i feel resentment? Yeah. But ultimately it is because i can't articulate how i feel without offending, or at least fearing to offend. Still, after all these years, this is a challenge for me. I don't know if it has anything to do with how i see myself, or how i value myself. Do i think i am only good for helping, but not for fun stuffs?

Through it all, i like doing for others. Yet i rarely ask others for help myself. Why is that?