Stormed Toronto Wednesday night to see, you guessed it, 30STM, again. I love those guys so much, it's always a rockin good time at their shows. I think this makes show 7 this year? Didn't do any stalking this round because we had to truck back home after the show. Not to mention Kool Haus is right on the harbor so the whole place smelled like bad fish. Gross. New user sound clip from a live acoustic set. Ciao.
Sunday I had to work. We were having the annual Thanksgiving dinner for our international students. I was in charge of the pies, pumpkin and pecan, as well as the sweet potato casserole. The object was to let our students participate in the making of the dinner and then partake in the traditional meal. Sounds like fun eh?
Things were coming along nicely. I was instructing several different students on how to make the pie crusts, the fillings and constantly reassuring others that while sweet potatoes may LOOK like boiled carrots, and they are in fact not.
Apparently cleaning staff are responsible for the kitchen in Campion Hall. Clearly they haven't cleaned the ovens since WWI. Just as I put the pecan pies in the oven, flames erupted.
Grease fire. Hello. People were screaming. I was yelling, "SAVE THE PIES!" followed by "GET ME A FIRE EXTINGUISHER"! Like my priorities? Needless to say pecan pie goo was sloshed all over in an attempt to save them. Then I have to put the fire out amidst the screams and running.
Alarms went off, we had to evacuate. Firemen came, the whole nine-yards. I was a little nerved by the police officer taking my statement. They actually made it seem like I was at fault for USING the fire extinguisher. I guess they'd rather the joint burnt down?
Anyhow, that was my entertaining Thanksgiving dinner story, one all of our students will remember forever.
Today's fortune cookie reads:
Your wisdom will influence others.
Today's horoscope for Virgo reads:
Ideas that come to you now show a bit of genius. Any changes you make right now are sure to be a success so go for it. You are very good right now at arguing your case or having a debate. You win hands down!
Happy tofurkey day to my fellow veggies. Happy turkey day to the carniverous folk.
My bosses dig me. I work hard because I love what I do and in return they offer me their wisdom and more responsibility. Yesterday I was asked to entertain two different visiting guests. One from our London Metropolitan school and one from the Bejing center. It was so refreshing to talk to young people in the field I want to work in. I really made some connections with them, not to mention networking. My future is so bright, I gotta wear shades.
You look at my skin
Outside not what's inside you will see
That I'll never change for authority
Cuz my ink's my mark on society
Read between these lines and you'll understand
That my ink is with me 'till the end
(Inked theme song)
I've been reading the book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
1.Be impeccable with your word
2.Don't make assumptions
3.Always do your best
4.Don't take anything personally
The first 3 items are words which I have truly tried to live by. It took time to become enlightened by these prospects. The time to make mistakes, time to grieve, time to push through them, and time to adjust. That last of the 4 is something I've always had a hard time with.
1.I often tell people, "Say what you mean and mean what you say". I don't like double talk, backstabbing, double standards and the like. I don't know many people that do like it. Some are more prone to it than others. None of us are immune entirely, but I certainly put the conscious effort into my words.
2.I learned not to make assumptions after many disappointments. Countless times I had been let down by others before I realized it is not just that they are flakes, but I made an assumption about them. 1 plus 1 equals 2, but not always. A hard lesson to learn and one we all have to confront throughout our lives. I suspect it played a role in my independence at an early age.
3.I used to be quite the perfectionist. I do try my best. Sometimes I tried too hard. If it wasn't just right, it was worthless to me. I've certainly eased up on the intensity of perfection. Nothing is perfect. School, it doesn't mean all that much in the long run. Great papers, they don't add up to much but a great paper that got you a grade. What you learn experientially carries far greater weight. Perhaps my art work still retains some level of perfectionism, but only to me.
4.Don't take it personally. Oh how I struggle, as I'm sure many do, with this thought. Are people susceptible to taking things more personal if they are deeply passionate, deeply committed to the things they do? If they place greater value on friendships does it not stand to reason they would be more affected by things done or said to them? It is a character trait that should always be looked down upon as a great flaw? Does this not generate the sort of genuine love we look for from others? Finding that balance between maintaining the self and not getting hurt is not as simple as "don't take it personal". It is a daily struggle for me. I have made progress in this area for sure. I think practicing yoga and meditation helped me with this. Letting many things roll off my back that had once bothered me was a fantastic improvement. I think a portion of the struggle is not related to my passion but the fear that I may then become hard to the world I love. I don't want to build a wall.
I will continue to learn and grow. Hurting is the less glamorous part of the process. I have learned that people I loved do not love me in return. I have learned that those I held in close regard did not have the same understanding with me. I have learned friends come and go even at the most critical time when we need them most. I have learned I will be replaced by others that are deemed more interesting to be with. I have learned that friendship is a two seat bike meant to be shared and to let go of those who don't put in equal effort. Most of all, I have learned what it is to be me and I love it. I love my light and dark side. I love showing passion toward others. If it is not returned, I must stay strong and continue to be me, the best me I can be, and not take it personally.
Still without power at home so I've been crashing on the air matress at the parental unit dwelling since Saturday. Thursday night I froze in my apartment. Friday morning Ryan and I trudged a mile through the snow and debris with our packs full to spend the night with friends who had power. I was grateful but man that hardwood floor did a number on my body.
My nephew is doing sooooo much better. Once his tongue got snipped he has been all about the cooing and not so much the crying. I'm so glad. We went shopping to get him a few warmer outfits. I got him a cozy long-sleeve onsie that reads "Hi, I'm new here" above a picture of the world. :)
Yesterday was my Gramma's birthday. She never got to see Ryan so Tonia and I took him out with some flowers. He was quiet until the moment we walked in the mausoleum doors, then he chattered away. I think he was introducing himself to his great-grandparents. As soon as we walked out the door, he stopped. I miss my Gramma.
I hope everyone else is dealing best they can with, as we have nicknamed the storm, the "catastrophe". The little guy is in my arms right now and took a big stinky poop so I must go change him. Take care.
I feel like I'm in a dream where I am in a car. I am the passenger and also the driver. I see many obstacles in the road ahead of me but I have no control. I cannot direct the wheels to avoid colliding with objects. I yell but I cannot wake the self that is driving. Lost in time I will step into the darkness once more. There in the comfort of my night, the world cannot see me. It is the only place I truly feel safe.
Ta mo chroise go bron
Oiche' s me liom fein
Speartha dubh go domhain, a choich
Uaigneas mor, go deo, a choich
Taim bronach, buartha' s briste
Nil ann ach an marbh.
It is Gaelic, from an Enya song.
Translation:
My heart is grieving
Night and I am alone
Endless deep black skies
Great loneliness, forever, and ever
I am sad, sorrowful, and broken
Nothing is left except the dead.
