I had a dream that I was standing in Martha Stewart's kitchen trying to convince her that she should publish a book on crime scene cleaning. What's that all about?

I had such a beautiful dream last night. I was walking through a lovely forest full of redwoods and giant ferns. The sun was beaming strands of brilliant light to the forest floor. I could hear a few insects, a few birds, but I knew I was alone. I came upon a small hot spring. The surface sparkled in shades of aqua. I removed my clothes and slipped in. I drifted in the floating abyss. I was overcome with peace and happiness. I wanted to stay there forever.

I had a bad dream last night. Apparently I was on a job interview at a large school in North Carolina. They wanted me to watch a video about the school however they had me sitting inside a stadium and the video was playing on a TV outside. Oh, let me also mention there was a pep rally going on! There was a marching band, screaming fans, bull horns, pom-poms - the whole nine yards. Girls kept coming up to me and saying weird things like, "you're hair ain't big nuf for this state" and "your eye shadow is perfectly layered". It was so chaotic and anxiety provoking.

I leave the 'interview' to check my e-mail and I had a disturbing message. It read, "You................will not hear from me or see me ever again, Timka." I didn't like it, at all.

I dreamt I was in a wedding dress of sorts. I was in a mall, something to the like of the Eaton Centre. Several floors high full of fancy shops, the middle divided by a canal large enough for a small cruise ship to enter. My 'parents' were not my parents. My mother was my ex-boyfriend's mother and my father was some man I don't know. I was supposed to get married! It was an arranged marriage to boot. He was a little person, as in dwarf. I didn't know him. I didn't know anyone except my ex's parents. The guy that was supposed to run the ceremony was my ex-boyfriend's father, who is a preacher.

The cruise ship is about to leave on a journey and strangers were grabbing at my arms trying to force me to the ceremony site. I thought I could escape if I jumped for the chains on the side of the ship. I knew I could; until she showed up. She had black hair, black eyes, and long bony fingers. She appeared in a mist hanging on the very chains I was trying to jump for. With the push of a few fingers she hurled the chains at me, striking me in the head and knocking me to the ground. She laughed as the ship pulled away.

The strangers promptly scooped me from the floor and began dragging me, heels dragging, toward the ceremony site. I saw (e:theecarey) passing by. I yelled to her in desperation, "I don't want to get married!" She replied, "We have to do something about this". I continued to yell, "I don't want to get married, please let me go, I don't want to!"

My escorts tried to get me on an escalator that would double as the aisle for my entrance. I could see all the people waiting at the bottom. My body was struck with the most intense anxiety and fear I've known. I was crying and wrestling to free myself from the deathlike grip of my captors.

Suddenly, as if an extension of my will, a fierce wind began to blow up the escalator. We couldn't move. Each step they tried to take would slide back into place. I thought to myself, if I could only break free the wind would release me from this impending prison.

Then I woke in a panic and sweat, still feeling the anxiety I experienced in the dream.

I had a dream last night. I was on an expedition with a dozen people. I was not necessarily the leader but it was apparent I held some authority in the group. We machete our way through lush jungle. The air is heavy and moist, presperation on every square inch of my skin. Foreign insects buzz in my ear and the songs of mysterious birds echo under the canopy. Arms aching from navigating the vegetation we rest only moments when an accidental footstep reveals a narrow staircase leading down into the earth. We light our torches and decend into the unknown.

A gentle breeze begins to blow, turning colder and strengthening with every step, until the breeze becomes a wind, and the wind becomes a gust that extinguishes our flames. 'Why didn't I bring that glow stick!? Fuckity fuck-fuck-fuck'. No sooner does the explicative escape my lips when a faint glow transpires at our feet. A silvery mist of liquid silk surrounds us and we drift into weightlessness. I see Jason. 'Jason what are you doing here?'. He takes my hand and replies, 'I told you to take control of your dreams'. The mist diminishes and we are at the entrance of a great temple.

Great trees groan, their vines swaying gently, leaves falling like summer snow. Pillars of blue Verdite with veins of green support a stone carved peak. Ornate metal work adorns a lone wooden door. We enter a sanctuary and it is still, so still. I cannot hear my footsteps. Our mouths move forming words on our lips yet no sound escapes them. It is scerene, it is peaceful but it is tainted.

A glimer of yellow catches my eye from a distant corner. I yell for everyone to climb, climb anything they can find, but my words fall silent in the mysterious air. A stampede of mad cow-like creatures charges from a darkened corner. Their eyes are a brilliant yellow with red pupils. Their teeth are long and sharp. As if someone hit a switch everything becomes slow motion. Every movement requires great effort. I manage to scrabble onto a stone tomb. One of the beasts glairs into my eyes. This time when I shout, my words are clear, 'I need a screw driver!'. A yellow screwdriver appears on my hand and I jump and stab the beast in the eye. Then I woke up.

I was attending an ultra-mega-platinum-first-class party at a mansion in the middle of nowhere. You had to be dressed up. All the (e:peeps) were there. Then Wiley Wiggins showed up in a red smoking jacket looking all daring and dashing.

The strange thing is, he was looking for me. I kept trying to get to him and all the (e:peeps) were holding me back, trying to distract me, divert my attention, confuse me....keep me from finding him.

WTF is that all about!?? Let me have my lovely dreams in peace!

I actually slept last night. I forgot what it felt like to feel safe and warm surrounded by soft sheets and blankets. To wrap myself in a beautiful dream. One where I was loved, and he held my hand and smiled, then brushed the hair from my eyes. I knew I was alive.

I watched a movie last night, Waking Life. It was amazing. All about dreams, reality, time...I loved it. It inspired me. I imagine if I was in the A-Ha video 'Take on me', this is what I would look like in my transition from the comic strip to reality. Also, depending what time I go to bed...I have been waking up at exactly 3:22am or 5:28am every single day for the last 3 weeks.