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Last Visit 2013-12-31 12:00:11 |Start Date 2005-05-26 16:50:55 |Comments 1,821 |Entries 581 |Images 1,362 |Videos 10 |

Category: deep thoughts

07/26/06 11:11 - 72ºF - ID#25435

pieces of me

I'm starting to feel a little bit like me again. I want to be back so badly and it's such a daily struggle, but I've been working hard at it. Something (e:Terry) said to me at the housewarming party really stuck with me. He said I was simply too hard on myself and don't give myself enough credit. It's true. I know I don't. That's part of what depression is. It's hard to focus on the good when all you see is the bad. It's hard to focus period.

I went with (e:Libertad) to another one of his Soka Gakkai meetings. It was so refreshing to be in a room full of people who were absolutely glowing inside. Yes, we all have problems in varying degrees. No one is immune to reality. But how we cope with life can in fact control us. I really tried to take the time, while they were chanting, to do a meditation. For the first time in a loooooong time, I felt a bit of peace in my heart and in my mind. Yes, I have a pile of troubles on my shoulders. Serious troubles that impact my life daily. But even if for that moment, I was free. I could breath, I wanted to smile and jump and clap my hands and do cartwheels.

The best part is, I didn't need a single drink or drug to feel that way. That is how I know a little piece of me came back. That is who I was all along. I am a beautiful person, inside and out. I'm not going to let anyone tell me otherwise, anymore. I'm not going to tell myself otherwise anymore. I am going to continue on my quest for peace and to bring vitality into my life once again.
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Permalink: pieces_of_me.html
Words: 303
Location: Niagara Falls, NY


Category: festival

07/25/06 12:04 - 75ºF - ID#25434

sterling renaissance festival

I always enjoy a good ren-fest. In my honest opinion, Sterling is not the greatest rather it's the closest. Some 2.5 hours Northeast of here lies a little village nestled in steep hillside. I simply don't understand why people try bringing their babies in strollers. This place is mud, gravel and mulch on very steep inclines. Eh.

There are a number of comedy sketches, musical performances, hand crafted artworks, and games to play. They do havea jousting field but the level of showmanship leaves much to be desired. The horses are beautiful though! Here are a few pics. Ciao.


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telling the story of Beowulf through mud...I wanted to jump in soooo bad

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his 'slingshot' weapon, a quadruple H bra

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steak on a stick, hmmmm

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that black blur is a hawk

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my sis-in-law grooming her tail

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me and big sis, muah!

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so beautiful

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the way this horse's head is tilted just makes me laugh

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watching the joust

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3 hoozah's for red and gold

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yup, that's me!
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Permalink: sterling_renaissance_festival.html
Words: 186
Location: Niagara Falls, NY


Category: potpourri

07/21/06 02:50 - 80ºF - ID#25433

i miss you gramma

I'm putting together letters for work. I assist international students through the admissions and immigration process at Canisius. I get a report print-out of every letter generated so I can keep track of this process. When I opened up one of these reports my Gramma's address showed up. I was confused at first, thought I was seeing things. Then I realized it was in Ontario. Euclid Avenue is not exactly a super common street name but the fact that it was the same house number really hit me. Then I opened my phone to get a number and my Gramma's number popped up. I really, really miss her.

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Permalink: i_miss_you_gramma.html
Words: 110
Location: Niagara Falls, NY


Category: potpourri

07/20/06 12:42 - 84ºF - ID#25432

lament for aqua mouse

I enjoy riding my bike. Sometimes I'm tired or my ass hurts but I get used to it in a few minutes and I'm ok. Overall I look forward to my daily commute to and from work. I'm getting used to seeing familiar cars pass me by, other regular cyclists on the road and little old ladies watering their flower gardens in moo-moos and slippers. I've only had one negative incident where some fuck-ass actually honked at me and told me to get out of his way; I was in the bicycle lane on Richmond. Yep, minding my own beeswax in my private lane and some gorilla in an ice cream truck gives me grief.

Really my point is I miss Aqua Mouse. She went out in a blaze of glory, literally. So, she's off the road and the market for parts. Meep.

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Permalink: lament_for_aqua_mouse.html
Words: 143
Location: Niagara Falls, NY


Category: sailing

07/18/06 03:35 - 80ºF - ID#25431

sail away, sail away, sail away

I got to go home Friday and spend the night with my family. My nephew Max is too friggin cute and my new nephew Ryan is too friggin yellow! Poor little guy had jaundice real bad so he had to go back in the hospital for some special baby tanning. He's home now and looking much better according to mom. Oh! Ryan's daddy showed up too, so that was a nice surprise.

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the little peanut

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daddy

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napping with his cousin max

Sunday I went sailing for the first time ever. A new acquaintance invited me and a few friends out and I snapped up the opportunity in a jiffy. I've never been on a sailboat but I've always wanted to learn how to sail. My friend Dan and (e:Theecarey) joined me as first timers. Sadly, we hardly made it out on the lake when Dan began heaving-ho. Poor kid lost his lunch and all his Gatorade in repeated hurls starboard side. Carey wasn't feeling so hot either but didn't blow chunks. We had to come back in and let them off. I had not had enough fun for my day, so I went back out with the boys.

Interestingly, the friend joining my new acquaintance was the same guy that randomly made out with me on St. Patties Day. In times like these I'm reminded just how small Buffalo is. Once we were back on the water they pretty much let me man the helm. The rocking of the boat almost put me to sleep a few times. I was just lazing about when I heard, "I wonder what the poor people are doing today". Some guy yelled this as he waved to us in passing. What kind of shit is that?

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Permalink: sail_away_sail_away_sail_away.html
Words: 307
Location: Niagara Falls, NY


Category: shakespeare

07/14/06 03:11 - 79ºF - ID#25430

L L L

Here are some pics from two different nights of Shakespeare in the park. Love's Labour's Lost only runs through this Sunday, so if you haven't seen it best get to it. It's a comedy and you'll love the Spaniard. I think I made this comment last year but I'll say it again. If fascinates me that we can go to the park and enjoy a play under the stars the same way people did some 420 years ago. Does anyone else think about that? We have come so far in technology and understanding our world yet we are still entertained by the very words written for audiences so long ago. Ciao.

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ava does not look amused that lee is eating her treats

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paul, terry and mike's leg

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carey and this random guy i ran into while getting a blanket

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faben (yvonne's daughter) made this drawing

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ava looooooooves to give sugar

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yvonne feeding hippie some tasty grapes

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dragonlady and zobar

on the other night....

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we gathered for a big feast

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and it was gooooooooood

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ryan passed out 15 minutes into the show

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because our little group put back 4 bottles of wine in under an hour

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i know i was feeling it

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and i convinced miranda to do cartwheels with me during intermission

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the infamous TRJ
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Permalink: L_L_L.html
Words: 240
Location: Niagara Falls, NY


Category: auntie

07/13/06 11:58 - 77ºF - ID#25429

may i introduce, ryan joseph

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meet the little guy


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proud mamma


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too cute!


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he has the biggest feet ever


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seriously, look at the size of that print


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happy auntie


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so tiny i could hold him in one hand
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Permalink: may_i_introduce_ryan_joseph.html
Words: 47
Location: Niagara Falls, NY


Category: dream

07/11/06 01:35 - 68ºF - ID#25428

bovine demons

I had a dream last night. I was on an expedition with a dozen people. I was not necessarily the leader but it was apparent I held some authority in the group. We machete our way through lush jungle. The air is heavy and moist, presperation on every square inch of my skin. Foreign insects buzz in my ear and the songs of mysterious birds echo under the canopy. Arms aching from navigating the vegetation we rest only moments when an accidental footstep reveals a narrow staircase leading down into the earth. We light our torches and decend into the unknown.

A gentle breeze begins to blow, turning colder and strengthening with every step, until the breeze becomes a wind, and the wind becomes a gust that extinguishes our flames. 'Why didn't I bring that glow stick!? Fuckity fuck-fuck-fuck'. No sooner does the explicative escape my lips when a faint glow transpires at our feet. A silvery mist of liquid silk surrounds us and we drift into weightlessness. I see Jason. 'Jason what are you doing here?'. He takes my hand and replies, 'I told you to take control of your dreams'. The mist diminishes and we are at the entrance of a great temple.

Great trees groan, their vines swaying gently, leaves falling like summer snow. Pillars of blue Verdite with veins of green support a stone carved peak. Ornate metal work adorns a lone wooden door. We enter a sanctuary and it is still, so still. I cannot hear my footsteps. Our mouths move forming words on our lips yet no sound escapes them. It is scerene, it is peaceful but it is tainted.

A glimer of yellow catches my eye from a distant corner. I yell for everyone to climb, climb anything they can find, but my words fall silent in the mysterious air. A stampede of mad cow-like creatures charges from a darkened corner. Their eyes are a brilliant yellow with red pupils. Their teeth are long and sharp. As if someone hit a switch everything becomes slow motion. Every movement requires great effort. I manage to scrabble onto a stone tomb. One of the beasts glairs into my eyes. This time when I shout, my words are clear, 'I need a screw driver!'. A yellow screwdriver appears on my hand and I jump and stab the beast in the eye. Then I woke up.

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Permalink: bovine_demons.html
Words: 401
Location: Niagara Falls, NY


Category: celebrity sighting

07/08/06 11:01 - 68ºF - ID#25427

andrew dan-jumbo!

I arrived at the most chaotic Thursday at the Square to see India Arie. It was PACKED. I was standing in the back corner in an attempt to locate Paul when I look up and see this beautiful man walking my way. Then the facial recognition kicks in...HOLY TOOL BELTS BATMAN, THAT'S ANDREW DAN-JUMBO!!!

OMG that man is so fine. I couldn't even speak, my arms just started flailing in the air in some feeble attempt to grab my phone and take a pic. It just caught me so off guard and I wasn't able to snap a shot before he disappeared into the crowd. Sigh..was a wonderful random celeb sighting. If you have no clue who Andy is, let me show and tell you.

Have you ever watched 'While You Were Out'? He's the talented carpenter/designer on the set. I'm not alone in my vote for sex appeal as he was named in People Magazine's '50 Most Beautiful People' in 2003.

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Anyhow, what's very interesting, is that he lives in Buffalo! He was born in Nigeria and raised near London, England. In 1991 he returned to the U.S. and co-founded Eurotek (a commercial and residential construction company that specializes in historic restorations and new home developments in Buffalo) with his brother. (e:PMT)...if you need help with your new mansion, for the love of single women in Buffalo, call him!

  • IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE PARTY PHOTOS THERE ARE THREE POSTS BELOW WITH 80 PICS TO AMUSE YOURSELF*****
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Permalink: andrew_dan_jumbo_.html
Words: 255
Location: Niagara Falls, NY


Category: photos

07/07/06 03:38 - 67ºF - ID#25426

animal house, part III

  • NOTICE: This is part 3 of a series. To view in story telling format, go back to part one and work your way up! ***





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the porch was overflowing with people

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yvonne discovered an interesting trick: poke a guy in the belly with a blue lollipop....

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.... and his pants fall down

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more people trap me on my bed

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i have to pee and the bathroom looks like hell

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jill takes my place on the bed

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more dancing

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and grabbing

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then rayn was rubbing his balls on my foot, and terry says "may i have this dance?'

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yvonne the gangsta

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i make myself a larson sandwhich

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and take a nap with ryan, jen, mike & david

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i snuggle between these two bunnies to make a mike & david sandwhich
but ryan says no sandwhich is complete without...

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a big bite on the judy!!!!

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i cry on libertad's shoulder

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the kitchen is a disaster and it's time to go to bed

Thanks for coming! We had a fantabulous time. We're thinking All Hallow's Eve for the next one. Pudding wrestling anyone??? Ciao.
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Permalink: animal_house_part_III.html
Words: 211
Location: Niagara Falls, NY


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mike said to mike
Well really I did not bury the hatched in my mind I guess because now 5 years later, I just saw him ...

mike said to mike
Well really I did not bury the hatched in my mind I guess because now 5 years later, I just saw him ...

mike said to mike
Well 14 years later I have more grays but still solidly more pepper than salt so that's good at leas...

mike said to mike
Well 14 years later I have more grays but still solidly more pepper than salt so that's good at leas...