"culture clash" written by Ladycroft on estrip.org

09/27/09 03:49 - 57ºF - ID#49863

culture clash

Finally getting to take my Eid break this week! Technically we were out of the office last week but I was still on duty. I had a doozie of a call Friday night. It almost makes me laugh because it sounds so rediculous to us as westerners, to say I had to show up and spend 2.5 hours investigating and interviewing students who decided to mix gender in one of the apartments. Over here it's such a serious offense and people are freaked out about getting deported. I'm thinking, then was it actually worth risking deportation just to hang out? I mean yes, it blows big fat goats that we can't be 'who we are' over here - but we are guests of another country, and like it or not we need to abide by their laws. I guess I traded regular alcohol infractions for major cultural clashes. At least (I don't THINK) Qatar does not participate in stoning women for 'tainting' themselves by being the presence of guys without a chaperon. Having grown up with freedom it makes it hard to enforce things like this, I almost feel like a brainwashed Nazi. This is one of the hardest parts of being an expat - when your core values are judged and infringed upon on a regular basis by a school of thought that you simply cannot identify with.

SO...got lots of wedding stuff done while Rory was also off last week. Namely settling the ceremony. I think we found the right words that 'sound like us', and the music as well. Not traditional, but not so far off it would scare the older generations. :)

Permalink: culture_clash.html
Words: 275
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: potpourri

09/19/09 03:05 - 62ºF - ID#49818

eid mubarak!

At last, Ramadan is officially over with tomorrow's dawn. My students will start sleeping better, eating better, and we'll all not suffer from dehydration is this desert heat. Most exciting of all, it's Eid break. A free week off work to catch up on a massive list of 'to do's' at home and a myriad of wedding details. It couldn't have come at a better time really.

I attended a program by one of my CDAs to celebrate the arrival of Eid and had 2 of my students henna my hands. We're thinking about having a henna artist at the wedding as a tribute to where we met.

Have a good one peeps!

Permalink: eid_mubarak_.html
Words: 114
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: birthday

09/17/09 04:27 - 50ºF - ID#49792

happy birthday carey!

!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I hope it's full of surprises! Wish I could be there to help celebrate.

Permalink: happy_birthday_carey_.html
Words: 22
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: potpourri

09/08/09 08:01 - 63ºF - ID#49723

party poopers

I'm curious for a little input. If you were planning a party...and at this party you wanted certain things..and those certain things cost money...and you're willing to pay that money because you want to be happy...and you invite people to your party because you want them to join you in your happiness...

1. Would you get a little upset if someone said, "I'm not coming to the pre-party event but I'll pop by the party for a little bit as long as I can also bring my kid" (who was not invited).

2. How would you respond to such a statement?

jason writes at 06:47:41 09/08/09 - Comment #51300: I would let them come to their own conclusion about coming to the event, and I would hold firm about the no kids rule. If they can't make it, it isn't the end of the world. Very few things are.

jenks writes at 05:59:03 09/08/09 - Comment #51299: yeah, I wouldn't necessarily assume the worst- the flip side would be "well crap i really want to come celebrate with you, but I can't unless it's at X time and with Y contingencies".

But at the same time- I agree that it's rude. I don't like when people think they can 'sneak' their kids in just b/c they're cute or whatever.

drew writes at 05:19:12 09/08/09 - Comment #51298: If people blow off one, but not the other, I think you have to roll with it. As Paul pointed out, there are lots of reasons they might not go. I had a friend who had an anxiety attack whenever she went into a church building--so I would be cool with that one, but to the other I'd say: "sorry, no kids." and let them make their own choice.

joshua writes at 02:18:47 09/08/09 - Comment #51293: I need more context than this.

theecarey writes at 01:36:47 09/08/09 - Comment #51291: "No children. Sorry you will miss the party"

If he or she said that they would like to attend the whole party festivity, and were only able to do so if they brought their child, then it would simply be a matter of you reiterating that it is an adult only function. The party hosts have the right to determine if children (at any age)can attend. Since the child was not invited, it should be assumed that it isn't appropriate to try to bring one. This person may have many circumstances leading to their ability to attend only with their kid, but it would be better for them to fully decline (or be declined) than to try to impose on the hosts. It is not ok to pick and chose which parts of the party they will be at AND modify the invitation. Essentially they are not committing. If they wanted to come badly enough, they could find a sitter.

If they found a sitter and said, "I found a sitter for these two hours which is only during the party, not the pre party", then I'd go with it.

In short, it is what (e:james) said.

paul writes at 11:27:37 09/08/09 - Comment #51289: Some people just don't like wedding ceremonies despite who is getting married. (e:hodown) and (e:Terry), ematthew and I skipped out on my friend kristina's ceremony in part because were both jaded that we haven't been married. She hasn't found the right man and in our case, we are not allowed to be married. Well that and in part because I feel very uncomfortable at religious events. I would really only attend a family religious event.

So perhaps she has a prior engadgement/issue/phobia that is preventing her from going and she is using the kid as an excuse, hoping you say no because the kid was not invited or you aren't having kids at the wedding, etc.

Or she really is too poor to get a baby sitter - and in that case its kind of sad. I mean if you consider the $100 babysitting plus gift combo, it might be too much for her budget.

Or she could just be a jerk, it is hard to tell without background info.

james writes at 08:09:49 09/08/09 - Comment #51285: "I like you, but I don't like you enough to get a babysitter"

Permalink: party_poopers.html
Words: 103
Location: Niagara Falls, NY

Category: potpourri

09/04/09 06:58 - 56ºF - ID#49695

worlds sexiest camel

Miss Qatar 2009

Permalink: worlds_sexiest_camel.html
Words: 4
Location: Niagara Falls, NY
Last Modified: 05/31/13 07:22

Category: wedding plans

09/03/09 06:53 - 56ºF - ID#49684

wedding planning update

The biggest lesson Rory and I are learning about planning a wedding...if you make a great team, you won't have any stress - it's the family that adds unnecessary stress to just about everything.

It would help if people stopped saying things like, "that's so far", "i don't like that colour", and "that's not my style" and started saying things like, "i'm so happy for you", "can i do anything to help", and "i can't wait to celebrate with you".

Otherwise, I can't wait for October 31st to be here!

leetee writes at 12:13:34 09/05/09 - Comment #51249: no wedding pleases everyone involved. unfortunately, people can be very self centered about their experiences with the day that is supposed to be about someone else. sad.

on the good side, glad to hear that the plans are easier going with all the help...

it's the marriage that's important, not the wedding. :o)

metalpeter writes at 05:49:09 09/04/09 - Comment #51245: I'm going to shoot straight with you. First of all it is your and Rory's weeding and not theirs (well I guess if in the wedding party that muddles it since they want to look pretty and Nice). That being said there is a way to say things and a way not to say things and they are saying them the wrong way. If they don't like the colour what they should say is "Are You sure, I don't think that is a good choice" then follow that up with "It is your wedding so what ever you want just let me Know" You can disagree with someone's choices and still be supportive at the same time and it sounds like they aren't doing that. I can't wait to see how things come out, it will be a great time. Well unless I'm like in the back row and there is a row of like Basketball player in front of me so I can't see anything, HA. But even so that would be ok because it is about you 2 and not me. I think that often people often forget that and also that they know what is better for you then you do. I'm not saying you shouldn't be upset. I'm saying that I'm hoping that what they are saying is said with good intentions but I don't know if they are or not.

jenks writes at 08:17:31 09/03/09 - Comment #51234: woohoo! I'm looking forward to it... Haven't RSVP'd yet b/c I wasn't sure if I was bringing a guest or not- but then yesterday my new boy told me he was putting in for the days off, so it looks like I'm coming, and so is he. :) yay!! I'm excited for you.

Oh yeah- is there any sort of halloweeny theme?

mrmike writes at 06:31:02 09/03/09 - Comment #51232: Gonna be fun. Looking forward to celebrating your big day (How's that?)

janelle writes at 06:03:04 09/03/09 - Comment #51231: It is a bummer when family and friends have an opinion about everything. In our experience, we had a lot of naysayers, but most of them ended up being pleasantly surprised at the end results. So hold out and plan the wedding of your dreams.